cheesy jokes part 2...

A hurricane says to a coconut tree:

Hang on to your nuts! This ain't no ordinary blowjob!

Okay, a bit long joke now:

A woman takes a lover during the day, while her husband is at work. Her nine-year-old son comes home unexpectedly, so she puts him in the closet and shuts the door.

Almost immediately after that, her husband also comes home, so she puts her lover in the closet with the little boy.
The little boy says "Dark in here.
The lover says "Yes, it is."
Boy- "I have a baseball."
Man- "That's nice."
Boy- "Want to buy it?"
Man- "No thanks."
Boy- "My dad's outside."
Man- "Okay, how much?
Boy- "$25."

A couple of weeks later, as no one learns from history, the man winds up in the closet with the boy, under the same circumstances.
Boy- "Dark in here."
Man- "Yes, it is."
Boy- "I have a baseball mitt."
The man remembers the last time this happened and cuts to the chase- "How much?"
Boy- "$75"
Man- "Fine."

A few days later, the father says to the boy, "Grab your ball and glove. Let's go outside and play some catch."
The boy says, "I can't, I sold them."
The father asks, "How much did you sell them for?"
The boy replies, "$100."
The father exclaims, "That's terrible to overcharge your friends like that! That's way more than those two things cost. I'm going to take you to church, you need to go to confession."

They go to the church and the father takes the little boy to the confessional booth and closes the door.

Boy- "Dark in here."
Priest- "Don't start that sh*t again."



And another one:

One day, a boy told by a classmate that most adults have secrets, and an easy way to get money from them is to say "I know the whole truth", even if that's not the case. He decised to try the scheme at home and says to his mother, "I know the whole truth"
She quickly hands him $20 and says "not a word of this to your father"
Pleased, the boy waits on the front steps for his father and greets him with "I know the whole truth"
His father peels off two 20s and says "Just don't tell your mother"
Next day, the boy tries his luck with the postman, "I know the whole truth" he says as the letter carrier approaches the porch.
The mailman drops to his knees, opens his arms and says:
"Then come and give daddy a big hug"

What's Winnie the Pooh's middle name?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The

what is the difference between sin and shame?


























It is a sin to put it in, and its a shame to pull it out..

jesperz wrote: Hope this one doesn't offend anyone.... =) Peace ppl! What is the similarity between a christmas tree and a monk?!!! The balls are for decorations.. =)

  that's disguting

Lol..guys...

I don't know if you realise this but...Most of the ppl who spent lotsa time on the internet, the last babe they picked up was a JPEG!

R o V e R wrote: [QUOTE=daz2112]what have an elephant & a duck got in common??               they both can't drive tractors!!

 

Somebody asked me if i've ever seen a man eating Tiger? I said no but i've seen a man eating chicken!

Prisoner in his cell says to prison officer" it's cold in this cell!" Officer says" i'll put another bar on for you!!"

A sandwich walks into a bar and the bartender yells "hey! we dont serve food in here"

A pair of jumper cables walks into a bar and the bartender yells "Hey! don't start anything in here"

A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says "hey pal, why the long face?"

A contruction worker walks into a bar with a hunk of asphalt under his arms and yells to the bartender " give me a beer, and one for the road"

Pirate walks into a bar with a steering whell hanging from his penis. the bartender yells out;"hey! theres a steering wheel on your penis" the pirate replies " "Argh, it's driving me nuts!"

Two hydrogen atoms walk into a bar. One says, "I think I've lost an electron."
The other says, "Are you sure?" The first replies,
"Yes,I'm positive..."