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Ed_The_Dead
Forum Senior Member
Joined: April 29 2005
Location: Poland
Status: Offline
Points: 4928
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Posted: December 20 2005 at 16:58 |
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Man With Hat
Collaborator
Jazz-Rock/Fusion/Canterbury Team
Joined: March 12 2005
Location: Neurotica
Status: Offline
Points: 166178
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Posted: December 20 2005 at 17:38 |
Nah...i have had thoughts that it would better to be dead but not of killing myself. Personally i feel its not the best way to deal with the issues, its only the easy way out. But w/e.
Very interesting results.
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Dig me...But don't...Bury me I'm running still, I shall until, one day, I hope that I'll arrive Warning: Listening to jazz excessively can cause a laxative effect.
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tardis
Forum Senior Member
Joined: October 02 2005
Location: Victoria, BC
Status: Offline
Points: 14378
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Posted: December 20 2005 at 20:09 |
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The Miracle
Prog Reviewer
Joined: May 29 2005
Location: hell
Status: Offline
Points: 28427
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Posted: December 20 2005 at 20:23 |
Yes... but was it really that serious?
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TheProgtologist
Special Collaborator
Honorary Collaborator / Retired Admin
Joined: May 23 2005
Location: Baltimore,Md US
Status: Offline
Points: 27802
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Posted: December 20 2005 at 21:29 |
Never even considered it.I love life.
And no matter how rough life gets it will always get better.
Tardis,you should really try to get some councilling,it might help.
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tardis
Forum Senior Member
Joined: October 02 2005
Location: Victoria, BC
Status: Offline
Points: 14378
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Posted: December 20 2005 at 21:33 |
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TheProgtologist
Special Collaborator
Honorary Collaborator / Retired Admin
Joined: May 23 2005
Location: Baltimore,Md US
Status: Offline
Points: 27802
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Posted: December 20 2005 at 21:38 |
tardis wrote:
Progtologist I have and am. But thanks for the suggestion, you're very perceptive. |
Well,I can tell by your responses in the forum and some pics you have used in your sig that you aren't doing too well right now.
Try to talk to someone,because if you suffer from depression this is a bad time of the year for it,it gets even worse during the holidays.
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Blacksword
Prog Reviewer
Joined: June 22 2004
Location: England
Status: Offline
Points: 16130
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Posted: December 21 2005 at 03:19 |
Although I have been through all manner of bereavements, break ups and knock backs, I found that any real depression and anxiety I suffered seemed to be sparked by things out of my control; conflicts around the world, the fear of terminal illness etc. Ive also felt overwhelmed by how utterly insignificant we ALL are, overwhelmed to the point of panic attack. It's obvious that my own personal experiences are the reason behind my 'darker' days, but it seems as though I'm so frightened to address these, so instead I allow things beyond my control to masquerade as my real problems.
That way I'm exempt from having to do anything about it. It's more of an avoidance strategy than a coping one!
Does that sound insane?? Does anyone actually know what I'm talking about??
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Ultimately bored by endless ecstasy!
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stonebeard
Forum Senior Member
Joined: May 27 2005
Location: NE Indiana
Status: Offline
Points: 28057
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Posted: December 21 2005 at 12:12 |
Crossed my mind once or twice, but I figured it would get better and it does. But now I get anxiety attacks sometimes. My guess is that it's because I don't know what to do next in my life. High school's almost over and I'm a bit lost. But it'll be OK.
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Manunkind
Forum Senior Member
Joined: February 02 2005
Location: Poland
Status: Offline
Points: 2373
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Posted: December 21 2005 at 16:28 |
Blacksword wrote:
Although I have been through all manner of bereavements, break ups and knock backs, I found that any real depression and anxiety I suffered seemed to be sparked by things out of my control; conflicts around the world, the fear of terminal illness etc. Ive also felt overwhelmed by how utterly insignificant we ALL are, overwhelmed to the point of panic attack. It's obvious that my own personal experiences are the reason behind my 'darker' days, but it seems as though I'm so frightened to address these, so instead I allow things beyond my control to masquerade as my real problems.
That way I'm exempt from having to do anything about it. It's more of an avoidance strategy than a coping one!
Does that sound insane?? Does anyone actually know what I'm talking about??
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I do.
But at the end of the day, all of this is due to two things:
1. Reality
2. Biochemistry
Feeling depressed is mostly about biochemistry, IMO. It hurts, so we become pessimistic, and then it hurts even more. A vicious circle. But we can realise that what we're dealing with is basically physical pain; pain not that different from the occasional one. Yeah, it's definitely more of a b*tch to get rid of and it's not really localised in one point, but it's physical pain. It is possible to "detach" one's thoughts from it at least to a certain extent and break that vicious circle. Same thing with fear etc. And if we manage to detach, we have more power and confidence to work on the first cause - reality. It works quite well for me, at least.
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"In war there is no time to teach or learn Zen. Carry a strong stick. Bash your attackers." - Zen Master Ikkyu Sojun
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ANDREW
Forum Senior Member
Joined: November 21 2005
Location: Italy
Status: Offline
Points: 3064
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Posted: December 21 2005 at 16:55 |
If i die tomorrow, i'd be all right, because i believe, that after we're gone,the spirit carries on...
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oliverstoned
Special Collaborator
Honorary Collaborator
Joined: March 26 2004
Location: France
Status: Offline
Points: 6308
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Posted: December 21 2005 at 17:13 |
...or are eaten by the eagle
Edited by oliverstoned
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Borealis
Forum Senior Member
Joined: May 06 2005
Location: Neutral Zone
Status: Offline
Points: 599
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Posted: December 21 2005 at 18:46 |
Somewhat 1 year and a half or 2 ago, but never convinced myself to do it. You know, I just felt it would surely replace in, if not, well...
It has taken time, but my life is getting good since a 3-4 months... there's some positive things that happen, you're life is always better than some others. be patient, that's all.
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Vive le Québec libre!...
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Trotsky
Special Collaborator
Honorary Collaborator
Joined: October 25 2004
Location: Malaysia
Status: Offline
Points: 2771
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Posted: December 21 2005 at 23:31 |
Manunkind wrote:
Blacksword wrote:
Although I have been through all manner of bereavements, break ups
and knock backs, I found that any real depression and anxiety I
suffered seemed to be sparked by things out of my control;
conflicts around the world, the fear of terminal illness etc. Ive also
felt overwhelmed by how utterly insignificant we ALL are, overwhelmed
to the point of panic attack. It's obvious that my own personal
experiences are the reason behind my 'darker' days, but it seems
as though I'm so frightened to address these, so instead I allow
things beyond my control to masquerade as my real problems.
That way I'm exempt from having to do anything about it. It's more of an avoidance strategy than a coping one!
Does that sound insane?? Does anyone actually know what I'm talking about??
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I do.
But at the end of the day, all of this is due to two things:
1. Reality
2. Biochemistry
Feeling depressed is mostly about biochemistry, IMO. It hurts, so we
become pessimistic, and then it hurts even more. A vicious circle. But
we can realise that what we're dealing with is basically
physical pain; pain not that different from the
occasional one. Yeah, it's definitely more of a b*tch to get
rid of and it's not really localised in one point, but it's
physical pain. It is possible to "detach" one's thoughts
from it at least to a certain extent and break that vicious circle.
Same thing with fear etc. And if we manage to detach, we have more
power and confidence to work on the first cause -
reality. It works quite well for me, at least. |
I certainly know where you're coming from ... 2 factors played a big part in my battles ...
1) A family history of dipolar depression ...
2) Moving house 26 or 27 times in my first 29 years ... living in some
of the world's poorest countries and some of its wealthiest ... there
is a feeling of responsibility and helplessness that can and has led to
despair ...
It is indeed a viscious circle, but ever since I became a parent, I
have refused to allow myself to give into it ... which is far from
saying being a parent is a solution ... in many cases it can make
things worse ... it has just forced me to switch when I see the
warning signs coming (I'm sure you guys know what I mean) ... cos
there's simply no room in my life for it ... I have too important a job
to do.
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"Death to Utopia! Death to faith! Death to love! Death to hope?" thunders the 20th century. "Surrender, you pathetic dreamer.”
"No" replies the unhumbled optimist "You are only the present."
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Bob Greece
Prog Reviewer
Joined: July 04 2005
Location: Greece
Status: Offline
Points: 1823
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Posted: December 22 2005 at 10:29 |
I've been very depressed on a lot of occassions but thankfully it hasn't happened to me for a long time now. I hope I'll never be depressed again but you never know when it will strike. In my experience depression is the worst thing that can happen to anybody and I wish there was some way that we could get rid of it.
My advice to anyone thinking about committing suicide is DON'T DO IT! I personally know someone who did and the devastation that it causes to family and friends is unbelievable. It ruins many lives. When you're depressed you don't think that anybody will miss you but you're wrong - THEY WILL.
Edited by Bob Greece
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Empathy
Forum Senior Member
Joined: June 30 2005
Status: Offline
Points: 1864
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Posted: December 22 2005 at 11:14 |
I've pondered it a few times, but never very seriously.
I've also unfortunately had a suicide in my family history, and it is
absolutely devastating to those left behind. Bob Greece is right. You
would be missed, no matter how it may feel otherwise.
Besides, you'd never know if you missed the triumphant return of Prog's Golden Years!
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Pure Brilliance:
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Jared
Forum Senior Member
Joined: May 06 2005
Location: Hereford, UK
Status: Offline
Points: 19275
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Posted: December 22 2005 at 13:05 |
no....I just wouldn't know how to go about organising it...
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Music has always been a matter of energy to me. On some nights I believe that a car with the needle on empty can run 50 more miles if you have the right music very loud on the radio. Hunter S Thompson
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Philrod
Prog Reviewer
Joined: May 23 2005
Location: Canada
Status: Offline
Points: 319
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Posted: December 23 2005 at 00:53 |
If I had to kill someone, I would not start by myself
Seriously, I did have a depression couple of years ago, but not to the point of killing myself.
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sularetal
Forum Senior Member
Joined: November 24 2005
Location: Greece
Status: Offline
Points: 264
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Posted: December 23 2005 at 17:29 |
I think all of us had thought "what's our purpose in life" "why continue to live and suffer" etc.
The thing that frightens me the most in my life is routine. I hate it. I think it makes you a robot....
Thats why I try to do something different every day (apart from being in PA )
So my advise is similar to what Bob Greece said. MOVE ON. TRY TO BE AS HAPPY AS DAMN POSSIBLE.....
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Figglesnout
Forum Senior Member
Joined: November 26 2005
Location: United States
Status: Offline
Points: 1455
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Posted: December 25 2005 at 14:26 |
Manunkind wrote:
Yes, and I keep having suicidal thoughts. I've learned to ignore them, however. There's just too many great people out there to make an exit on them like that. |
the same goes for me...i have so many great friends--and MUSIC--if i wasn't able to play music adn compose it as well as I do I'd most certainly be dead right now.
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I'm a reasonable man, get off my case
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