Finsihed my first original song - feedback?

Edited by flyingveepixie - May 12 2020 at 03:15

^ I like it as is, including the lyrics, and wouldn't have mentioned the drums had it not already been mentioned. I don't think it needs them, but as an artist, I expect that you like to experiment, learn and try new things. Good luck with your next one.

By the way, as an aside, speaking of critiques, one of my most embarrassing experiences at PA (I've had a lot, I'm extremely socially awkward) was being asked what I thought of someone's music. I wrote a very long critique trying to think of things that maybe could be changed (trying to think of improvements). I thought that was the expectation, and I was talking out my rear-end. I've done a little composition, but not much. So me as a non-artist ended up suggesting all sort of changes to an accomplished artist. How stupid I felt afterwards, especially on a second listen when it hit me how good it was already, and that my suggestions were totally off-the-mark (it ould have turned it into something so different, and marred it). I'm sure my comments were off-putting to the artist, and I can only hope that that person forgave my abundant stupidity. I could have just said, "It's great,I really like it", which would would have been completely sincere, but instead I thought it incumbent to be thorough and to critique and suggest a huge amount of potential improvements. Not that others have done that here. I went on-and-on-- I do that. I still cringe when I think back on it. I think my heart was in the right place, but I was so wrong.

Some of us miserable sods revel in the miserably abysmal. ;) I like the lyrics, and I like a lot of very dark stuff. I agree with the others that I really like it. A lot of what I listen to lack drums, so I tend not to expect it (I'm not a big fan of drums often). I'd rather subtle percussion, maybe a hit once or twice in the song, but I like it a lot as is. While I don't think it needs those drums, and that feel could be lost if drums made it heavier, if I were to add more percussion, I'd go for a light jazzy, somewhat loungey 60s pop sound in the drums. A little "dooopy-doopey-dwaaa" (I think that's the technical term?) drum sound around 2:10 would be nice. I wouldn't want it to be heavier. I like it very much as is.

Thank you so much, guys!
Glad you hear the Barrett-influence!
I'm going to try and experiment with drums on my next tune.

Very happy yoyu guys took the time to have a listen.

Like it, definite Barrett influence. Nice vocals and guitar/bass playing.