Funny MarsVolta review:somethingawful.com - Progressive Rock Music Forum

I don't know how that person can be a Dr.

And his last name is Thorpe, in spanish it seems like "torpe", that can mean in english "clumsy" or "awkward" (i tink it's the same ting, but just for be sure) in other words can be just and IDIOT.

that review sucked

I'm a reasonable man, get off my case

hahaha that's great

I like this line:

Now the singer is yelling “will they feed us some hooves.” Somebody feed this man some f**king hooves so he’ll shut up.

he reviewed it with the bias that prog is pretentious garbage, he would probably say the same thing about ctte.

listen to Hella

This is probably the funniest negative review I have come across. You can tell that this guy hated Mars Volta's Frances the Mute.

http://www.somethingawful.com/articles.php?a=2825

Listen to each song while reading his analysis of each piece.

Excerpts:

At three minutes and twenty seconds, I’m treated to the most obnoxious breakdown in the history of rock and roll, which is a little like getting repeatedly rabbit-punched by a spastic flyweight clown.

"At five minutes and ten seconds, the guitarist sounds like he’s repeatedly trying to play a guitar lick but screwing it up every time. If The Mars Volta intend to paint vivid pictures with their music, it’s working: if I close my eyes, I can see a teenager on a stool in Guitar Center trying to impress us with his avant-garde (i.e. out of key) riffs."

"he sets up one of those little hard-rock exchanges where he screams a little bit of melody and then the guitar player does one of those diddly diddly diddly things and then he screams again and more guitar twiddling. And of course it climaxes in another chorus and we’re left with the disturbing feeling that the singer and guitarist have just committed a playful sexual act on each other. "

Edited by Zitro

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NetsNJFan Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Reviewer page Prog Reviewer Joined: April 12 2005 Location: United States Status: Offline Points: 3047	Posted: January 19 2006 at 17:07



Viajero Astral Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Reviewer page Forum Senior Member Joined: January 16 2006 Location: Mexico Status: Offline Points: 3118	Posted: January 19 2006 at 16:52
	I don't know how that person can be a Dr. And his last name is Thorpe, in spanish it seems like "torpe", that can mean in english "clumsy" or "awkward" (i tink it's the same ting, but just for be sure) in other words can be just and IDIOT.


mortem Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Reviewer page Forum Groupie Joined: October 06 2005 Location: Mexico Status: Offline Points: 55	Posted: January 19 2006 at 16:49
	lol, obviously I disagree with this guy entirely since I consider Frances The Mute a remarkable album.. buttttt I do have to admt that the article IS really funny hahaha "This one starts out sounding like a song, but the lyrics have been stolen and translated to Korean and back ten times with some sort of automatic computer translator." LMAO
	My Last.fm

Figglesnout Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Reviewer page Forum Senior Member Joined: November 26 2005 Location: United States Status: Offline Points: 1455	Posted: January 19 2006 at 16:16
	that review sucked
	I'm a reasonable man, get off my case

chamberry Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Reviewer page Special Collaborator Honorary Collaborator Joined: October 24 2005 Location: Puerto Rico Status: Offline Points: 9008	Posted: January 19 2006 at 16:10
	I can't believe I spent time reading this


Gentle Tull Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Reviewer page Forum Senior Member Joined: November 13 2005 Location: United States Status: Offline Points: 518	Posted: January 19 2006 at 15:40
	hahaha that's great I like this line: Now the singer is yelling “will they feed us some hooves.” Somebody feed this man some f**king hooves so he’ll shut up.


alan_pfeifer Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Reviewer page Forum Senior Member Joined: December 05 2004 Status: Offline Points: 823	Posted: January 19 2006 at 15:30
	I wouldn't take it to seriously.

Rashikal Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Reviewer page Forum Senior Member Joined: December 07 2005 Status: Offline Points: 546	Posted: January 19 2006 at 14:52
	he reviewed it with the bias that prog is pretentious garbage, he would probably say the same thing about ctte.
	listen to Hella

Rosescar Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Reviewer page Forum Senior Member Joined: October 07 2005 Status: Offline Points: 715	Posted: January 19 2006 at 14:48
	I've read it about halfway, then I realised he kept saying the same thing over and over again. Maybe the album's like that too?
	My music! "THE AUDIENCE WERE generally drugged. (In Holland, always)." - Robert Fripp

Zitro Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Reviewer page Prog Reviewer Joined: July 11 2005 Location: United States Status: Offline Points: 1321	Posted: January 19 2006 at 14:37
	This is probably the funniest negative review I have come across. You can tell that this guy hated Mars Volta's Frances the Mute. http://www.somethingawful.com/articles.php?a=2825 Listen to each song while reading his analysis of each piece. Excerpts: At three minutes and twenty seconds, I’m treated to the most obnoxious breakdown in the history of rock and roll, which is a little like getting repeatedly rabbit-punched by a spastic flyweight clown. "At five minutes and ten seconds, the guitarist sounds like he’s repeatedly trying to play a guitar lick but screwing it up every time. If The Mars Volta intend to paint vivid pictures with their music, it’s working: if I close my eyes, I can see a teenager on a stool in Guitar Center trying to impress us with his avant-garde (i.e. out of key) riffs." "he sets up one of those little hard-rock exchanges where he screams a little bit of melody and then the guitar player does one of those diddly diddly diddly things and then he screams again and more guitar twiddling. And of course it climaxes in another chorus and we’re left with the disturbing feeling that the singer and guitarist have just committed a playful sexual act on each other. " Edited by Zitro