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ExittheLemming View Drop Down
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Points: 11420 		Direct Link To This Post Topic: Jokes - Dare you be crucified!
    Posted: February 08 2014 at 16:26
There are only 10 types of people in the world, those who understand binary and those who don't. Clown

Edited by ExittheLemming - February 08 2014 at 17:51
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Polymorphia View Drop Down
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Points: 8856 		Direct Link To This Post Posted: February 01 2014 at 15:12
From the Super Mario Bros Super Show:
"Let's make like a drummer and beat it!"
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Points: 1043 		Direct Link To This Post Posted: February 01 2014 at 09:49
A man walks up to a nightclub accompanied by a Scotsman, an Irishman, a German, a Japanese, an American, a Chinese and an Australian. The doorman says: "Sorry sir, I can't let anyone in without a Thai."
"And now...on the drums...Mick Underwooooooooood!!!"

"He's up the pub"
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irrelevant View Drop Down
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Points: 13382 		Direct Link To This Post Posted: February 01 2014 at 07:15
Originally posted by Slartibartfast Slartibartfast wrote:

Originally posted by Dean Dean wrote:

Ermm "so he gave her one" I think is the correct punchline. 

Oh dear is this one of those US vs UK English things?  That bad joke totally worked for me, dude.
They both work. 
New album!
http://www.progarchives.com/artist.asp?id=7385
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Points: 29630 		Direct Link To This Post Posted: February 01 2014 at 03:23
Originally posted by Dean Dean wrote:

Ermm "so he gave her one" I think is the correct punchline. 

Oh dear is this one of those US vs UK English things?  That bad joke totally worked for me, dude.
Released date are often when it it impacted you but recorded dates are when it really happened...
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Points: 8856 		Direct Link To This Post Posted: January 31 2014 at 13:45
Two wrongs don't make a right, but two Wrights did make an airplane.
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Points: 37575 		Direct Link To This Post Posted: January 31 2014 at 10:47
Ermm "so he gave her one" I think is the correct punchline. 
What?
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Points: 29630 		Direct Link To This Post Posted: January 31 2014 at 10:45
A beautiful woman walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a double entendre, so he gives it to her.
Released date are often when it it impacted you but recorded dates are when it really happened...
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Points: 29630 		Direct Link To This Post Posted: January 29 2014 at 19:50
Originally posted by Jim Garten Jim Garten wrote:

How many surrealists does it take to change a lightbulb?

A fish.
LOL




Edited by Slartibartfast - January 31 2014 at 10:46
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Points: 14693 		Direct Link To This Post Posted: January 29 2014 at 11:29
My favorite drummer joke:

Reporter: Face it, Ringo Starr wasn't the best drummer in the world, was he?

Paul McCartney: He wasn't the best drummer in the Beatles



Whoops, sorry, that wasn't actually a joke

Jon Lord 1941 - 2012
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Points: 14693 		Direct Link To This Post Posted: January 29 2014 at 11:26
How many surrealists does it take to change a lightbulb?

A fish.

Jon Lord 1941 - 2012
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Points: 2720 		Direct Link To This Post Posted: January 29 2014 at 11:17
What is the sentence most used by the sociology graduate in his working life?
"Would you like fries with that?"
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Points: 3834 		Direct Link To This Post Posted: January 28 2014 at 13:42
What time does Sean Connery arrive at Wimbledon?

Tenish.
"Market value is irrelevant to intrinsic value."

Arnold Schoenberg
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Points: 8856 		Direct Link To This Post Posted: January 28 2014 at 13:28
Two scientists walk into a bar.
One of them orders H20. 
The other says "I'll have a water. Why would you say H2O? Nobody calls it that outside of the lab. Strange."

Edited by Polymorphia - January 28 2014 at 13:28
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Points: 37575 		Direct Link To This Post Posted: January 27 2014 at 17:32
Originally posted by Slartibartfast Slartibartfast wrote:

Two men walk into a bar.
One man orders H20. 
The other says "I'll have H20, too."

The second man dies.
Reminds me of...

Old Abram Brown is dead and gone
We'll see his like no more,
For what he thought was H2O
Was H2SO4.
What?
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Points: 29630 		Direct Link To This Post Posted: January 27 2014 at 17:21
Two men walk into a bar.
One man orders H20. 
The other says "I'll have H20, too."

The second man dies.
Released date are often when it it impacted you but recorded dates are when it really happened...
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Points: 29630 		Direct Link To This Post Posted: January 27 2014 at 05:50
Why does Peter Pan fly?
If someone hit you in the peter with a pan, you'd fly, too.


Edited by Slartibartfast - January 27 2014 at 17:20
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Points: 10970 		Direct Link To This Post Posted: January 26 2014 at 13:12
Originally posted by Marc Maron Marc Maron wrote:

Have you ever actually hated yourself so much that you actually took a nap?
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Points: 15926 		Direct Link To This Post Posted: January 24 2014 at 15:49
Patient : Doctor Doctor, I only have 59 seconds to live
Doctor : Oh, wait a minute, could you ??
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Points: 3834 		Direct Link To This Post Posted: January 24 2014 at 06:13
"I I bought some powdered water but I don't know what to add."

Steven Wright
"Market value is irrelevant to intrinsic value."

Arnold Schoenberg
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