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Tell me a story...

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Topic: Tell me a story...
Posted By: AnnaDanielle
Subject: Tell me a story...
Date Posted: March 28 2012 at 11:08
I'm bored in school and I want you to tell me a story in te length of one paragraph... Im kind of curious to see what I'll get... So post away!
Ps. Make my day of boring school get more exciting you guys are my only hope so don't let me down

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I would never cheat in a relationship...
That would require TWO people finding me attractive.
..I can barely find one.



Replies:
Posted By: CPicard
Date Posted: March 28 2012 at 13:16
Would a gruesome horror story do the trick?


Posted By: Triceratopsoil
Date Posted: March 28 2012 at 14:47
There once was a man from Nantucket.

Then he died.


Posted By: Ricochet
Date Posted: March 28 2012 at 14:50
Truly Vompatti's moment to shine.

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Posted By: refugee
Date Posted: March 28 2012 at 15:16
This is supposedly a true story:

A Norwegian in a taxi in London «Do you take VISA? I'm black, you see.» When he noticed the driver was black he tried to correct his error by saying, «You see, in Norway we call poor people black.»...

Broke in Norwegian = Blakk


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He say nothing is quite what it seems;
I say nothing is nothing
(Peter Hammill)


Posted By: rushfan4
Date Posted: March 28 2012 at 15:18
Originally posted by Triceratopsoil Triceratopsoil wrote:

There once was a man from Nantucket.

Then he died.
That is funny.  I started to type a response this morning the same way, and then decided better of it. LOL

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Posted By: Vompatti
Date Posted: March 28 2012 at 15:24
Originally posted by Ricochet Ricochet wrote:

Truly Vompatti's moment to shine.
I did in fact begin to write a story where a man, a priest, a vicar and a rabbit walk into a bar, but, not knowing what would happen next, gave up.

I may think of something else soon.


Posted By: HolyMoly
Date Posted: March 28 2012 at 15:37

THE GREAT BALLOON RACE LAST SUMMER

Another crappy story by HolyMoly

My alarm clock went off and I jumped out of bed.  Sweating with anticipation, I awoke my pet turtle, Andy.  His alarm wasn’t set to go off for another half hour, but he too oozed to attention.  I decided to forego my usual breakfast of Corn Flakes and Old Milwaukee, and raced down the stairs to the front door.  Unfortunately, I lived in the basement, and the stairs actually went up.  So I was a bit lost for a while.

Once I regained consciousness, I helped Andy up the stairs, and we hopped on our skateboards.  We roared with glee at the upcoming festivities.  For today was our town’s annual Great Balloon Race, and I’d never missed it in the last 1 years.

Oh, Andy had been there 2 years ago, but he didn’t know it.  Come to think of it, I hadn’t known it either, but so far as a preborn turtle larva buried deep in the grounds which just happened to be Memorial Fizz Park can be said to attend an event, so Andy did.  He had not met me yet at that point, or I’m sure he would have invited me.

Jeff waved at us from across the street.  Who is that guy, I thought.  I’d never met this guy, and never would.  How I knew his name was Jeff is still a mystery to me to this day.

We approached Memorial Fizz Park, and it was packed with at least 14 ½ people.  The balloons were ready, the tomato juice was flowing, and all but ½ of the people there were singing traditional Balloon Race songs, such as:

             Gee I hope it’ll be here soon, come on Balloon,

            Bring your turtles and your baboons,

            Who will win this year?

            Who will choke in fear?

            And who will race the finest race,

            And shed a lush veneer?

Andy and I took our places.  We were tired, but at least we made it.  Andy was so tired he brought his alarm clock and set it for 2 minutes before the race started.

“On your marks….”

 

I took a deep breath.  It would be soon.

 

“Get set…”

 

I eyed the competition.  They oozed confidence, but so did I.  My lung capacity was well known in the town.

 

“GO!!”

 

I blew and blew.  The balloon filled up with all the anticipation of a year’s long wait.  And air, too.  God, the air which filled it up.  I’ll never forget it.  Sometimes I think I couldn’t survive without air.  Andy thinks so too, and he’s been taken to the vet many times as a result.

 

I was winning!  I looked at the competition, and my balloon was much bigger than theirs.  Much bigger.  I felt the owl of fury roar inside me.  I blew even harder.

 

POP!

 

I was heartbroken.  The damn thing burst.  The others had brought bigger balloons, but in my frugality, I had bought the cheap, small Target brand.  And it broke, along with my dreams for glory.

 

I didn’t sleep that night.



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My other avatar is a Porsche

It is easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle if it is lightly greased.

-Kehlog Albran


Posted By: Icarium
Date Posted: March 28 2012 at 15:39
Originally posted by refugee refugee wrote:

This is supposedly a true story:

A Norwegian in a taxi in London «Do you take VISA? I'm black, you see.» When he noticed the driver was black he tried to correct his error by saying, «You see, in Norway we call poor people black.»...

Broke in Norwegian = Blakk
LOL

Have you heard about the norwegian philharmonica musician on an airport somwhere in england, asked after the fa****, which might have getten lost in the overflight

fa**** = basson when  translated,


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Posted By: HolyMoly
Date Posted: March 28 2012 at 15:44
Originally posted by aginor aginor wrote:

Originally posted by refugee refugee wrote:

This is supposedly a true story:

A Norwegian in a taxi in London «Do you take VISA? I'm black, you see.» When he noticed the driver was black he tried to correct his error by saying, «You see, in Norway we call poor people black.»...

Broke in Norwegian = Blakk
LOL

Have you heard about the norwegian philharmonica musician on an airport somwhere in england, asked after the fa****, which might have getten lost in the overflight

fa**** = basson when  translated,


This reminds me a lot of a time when my family had dinner at the house of a family from Finland.  The husband was the only one who was fluent in English.  The wife asked me if I wanted more food, and I replied, "No thanks, I'm finished."  She looked puzzled.  After repeating it a couple of times I realized what was making her confused.  I rephrased, "Done. I'm done. Completed".


-------------
My other avatar is a Porsche

It is easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle if it is lightly greased.

-Kehlog Albran


Posted By: presdoug
Date Posted: March 28 2012 at 17:47
A documented "weird but true" story
          In the fifties, three men went to spend a weekend in a cabin retreat in the forest. After arriving there, one of them found a "Chinese Hexagon Game" and decided to play it. On reading the instructions, they found it involved sticks to be placed in a hexagon shape, and players had to sit in a certain way, and one holding one of the sticks had to read a writing  and then all players had to  blank out their thoughts. The reading was about becoming a tiger "whom everyone was afraid of" The man holding a stick (or "wand") went into what was perceived as an acting out of being a tiger, and claimed that he actually did become one. This spooked out his friends and after some more plays, one of them threw the game into the fire, and thought that "that was that" .  After the end of that weekend, their "tiger friend" was never seen again. And a leopard, not known to inhabit the western hemisphere, was spotted in the area, and cornered and shot dead. And no circus ever reported one missing. Bizarre.      


Posted By: clarke2001
Date Posted: March 28 2012 at 18:16
The last man on Earth sat alone in a room. There was a knock on the door...


Posted By: AnnaDanielle
Date Posted: March 28 2012 at 18:33
Originally posted by CPicard CPicard wrote:

Would a gruesome horror story do the trick?



Bring it on

-------------
I would never cheat in a relationship...
That would require TWO people finding me attractive.
..I can barely find one.


Posted By: zappaholic
Date Posted: March 28 2012 at 18:59
I was once encouraged to take part in a "55 Fiction" contest - where you have to write a complete and satisfying story using exactly 55 words.  Here's what I wrote:


"Write something!" she said.

"Hmm, I dunno," I mumbled.  "I don't think I'm good enough for the Foundation."

"Nonsense!" she replied.  "I've seen how well you can write.  You have real talent."

"But I'm still not sure about this..."

"No buts.  Just write something.  I expect to see something before Friday."

So here it is.




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"Democracy is the theory that the common people know what they want, and deserve to get it good and hard." -- H.L. Mencken


Posted By: HolyMoly
Date Posted: March 28 2012 at 21:51
Originally posted by presdoug presdoug wrote:

A documented "weird but true" story
          In the fifties, three men went to spend a weekend in a cabin retreat in the forest. After arriving there, one of them found a "Chinese Hexagon Game" and decided to play it. On reading the instructions, they found it involved sticks to be placed in a hexagon shape, and players had to sit in a certain way, and one holding one of the sticks had to read a writing  and then all players had to  blank out their thoughts. The reading was about becoming a tiger "whom everyone was afraid of" The man holding a stick (or "wand") went into what was perceived as an acting out of being a tiger, and claimed that he actually did become one. This spooked out his friends and after some more plays, one of them threw the game into the fire, and thought that "that was that" .  After the end of that weekend, their "tiger friend" was never seen again. And a leopard, not known to inhabit the western hemisphere, was spotted in the area, and cornered and shot dead. And no circus ever reported one missing. Bizarre.      

...and he became known as "Tiger Woods".LOL


-------------
My other avatar is a Porsche

It is easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle if it is lightly greased.

-Kehlog Albran


Posted By: colorofmoney91
Date Posted: March 28 2012 at 22:06
There once was an old woman who lived in a shoe. She shortly suffocated from the thickness of the gnarly stench within.

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http://hanashukketsu.bandcamp.com" rel="nofollow - Hanashukketsu


Posted By: CPicard
Date Posted: March 29 2012 at 03:29
Originally posted by AnnaDanielle AnnaDanielle wrote:

Originally posted by CPicard CPicard wrote:

Would a gruesome horror story do the trick?



Bring it on


Okay, then:

When he found the corpse of his dog ripped out on the steps of his mansion, he was horrified, shocked, distressed. He went burying his pet in the large field of his house, barely preventing himself from sobbing.

When he found the exhumed corpse of the animal once again on the steps, he was horrified and disgusted, but he buried it again with stoicism.

Then, the corpse was exhibited a third time, and he had to dig a new tomb, now with dismay.

At the ninth time, he found that this 'joke' was beginning to be rather heavy and annoying.


Posted By: AnnaDanielle
Date Posted: March 29 2012 at 11:49
Originally posted by CPicard CPicard wrote:


Originally posted by AnnaDanielle AnnaDanielle wrote:

Originally posted by CPicard CPicard wrote:

Would a gruesome horror story do the trick?



Bring it on
Okay, then:When he found the corpse of his dog ripped out on the steps of his mansion, he was horrified, shocked, distressed. He went burying his pet in the large field of his house, barely preventing himself from sobbing.When he found the exhumed corpse of the animal once again on the steps, he was horrified and disgusted, but he buried it again with stoicism.Then, the corpse was exhibited a third time, and he had to dig a new tomb, now with dismay.At the ninth time, he found that this 'joke' was beginning to be rather heavy and annoying.

So what next?

-------------
I would never cheat in a relationship...
That would require TWO people finding me attractive.
..I can barely find one.


Posted By: CPicard
Date Posted: March 29 2012 at 12:26
^End of the story! 


Posted By: AtomicCrimsonRush
Date Posted: March 30 2012 at 08:45
Old mother Hubbard went to the cupboard
to get her poor dog a bone
but when she got there the cupboard was jam packed with lots of goodies
and so the poor doggie gorged himself


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Posted By: HolyMoly
Date Posted: March 30 2012 at 08:53
Three guys walk into a bar.  The first guy says something to the bartender, and the bartender replies.  The second guy says the same thing to the bartender, and the bartender replies again in kind.  But the third guy says something just slightly different to the bartender, and the bartender replies with something really funny.

-------------
My other avatar is a Porsche

It is easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle if it is lightly greased.

-Kehlog Albran


Posted By: AtomicCrimsonRush
Date Posted: March 30 2012 at 09:05
Said the young boy to the little lamb
do you see what I see?
Said the young boy to the little lamb
do you hear what I Hear?
Said the young boy to the little lamb
do you like what I like?
Said the young boy to the little lamb
do you speak what I speak?


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Posted By: AnnaDanielle
Date Posted: March 30 2012 at 11:22
Originally posted by CPicard CPicard wrote:

^End of the story! 



Ah... haha you should add to it I'm intrigued

-------------
I would never cheat in a relationship...
That would require TWO people finding me attractive.
..I can barely find one.


Posted By: CPicard
Date Posted: March 30 2012 at 14:59
Originally posted by AnnaDanielle AnnaDanielle wrote:

Originally posted by CPicard CPicard wrote:

^End of the story! 



Ah... haha you should add to it I'm intrigued


You see that kind of movie in which the innocent family harassed by a psychopath comes back home only to find "Sparky" (or however the family dog is named) crucified to the entrance door? This text is only my take on this trope.

Another story:

Johnny has the power of infinite resurrection.

He uses it to appear in several snuff-movies.

If you ask me, Johnny is really dumb.


Posted By: AnnaDanielle
Date Posted: March 31 2012 at 16:09
I concur...

-------------
I would never cheat in a relationship...
That would require TWO people finding me attractive.
..I can barely find one.



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