BUT THEY DO!
Beware, beware, young prog voyager. Proceed yet not further into this thread lest the horrors contain within drive you down upon such depths of despair and darkness as to make ye roll out the "I don't want to live on this planet anymore" meme.
One at a time.
#1 Imaginos by Blue Oyster Cult, 1988
The general consensus with Blue Oyster Cult is that after 1981's Fire Of Unknown Origin they lost their sh*t and never made another good album. This is not entirely correct as Imaginos is actually probably the only musically decent album they made after their hayday. But it is not entirely wrong as Imaginos is certainly the product of people who have lost their sh*t as in gone crazy.
You knew something was wrong when it was based on some poems Sandy Pearlman had written in the 1960s which were worked up in to a record by a band member (Alan Bouchard) who had been fired seven years before the record was put out AND that much of the record was done by session musicians with BOC barely involved at all. You knew something was REALLY wrong when you learned that the story of the record is that there's these guys called the Invisible Ones, seven mystic beings who live in Haiti and Mexico and they're related to the Lovecraft mythology. They secretly control human history. In 1804 a child called Imaginos is born in New Hampshire. Because he is born under the star of Sirius, which is the source of the power of the Invisible Ones, they mark him as a child of destiny and grant him super powers. (I swear I'm not making this up.) He can shapeshift and see the future. He visits Texas and ends up in New Orleans in 1929 where a vision tells him to go to Mexico to find an artefact.
Travelling to Mexico he nearly dies in a shipwreck and is washed in to a bed of blue oysters where the blue oyster cult (yes this is real) who worship the invisible ones find him and reveal his power to him. He becomes a new powerful being called Desdinova. He enters European politics (YES REALLY) to establish control of the world. He meets and kills Dr Frankenstein and takes up residence in his castle.
In 1892 he is living in Cornwall when he learns of a magic mirror that the mathematician John Dee found in Mexico and used to ensure England's victory over Spain in the great wars of the 16th century.
I can barely go on.
Anyway Desdinova decides to return to Mexico. He explores a Mayan temple and finds a twin to Dee's mirror. He returns to England in 1893 and gives it to his grand daughter as a 10th birthday present. She puts it in her attic where it sits for 21 years, sending out bad vibes into the minds of Europe's leaders, causing WWI.
Knowing that this was originally planned as the first in a TRILOGY OF DOUBLE ALBUMS keeps me awake at night, shuddering. It's actually not that bad as music- it's some good accessible pop-metal, and has the heavy sound that they'd always stopped just short of making on earlier albums. But the story is batsh*t and distracting. (The first sentence of this paragraph may lead you to believe this was a double album- it was recorded/intended to be one but Columbia had severe doubts about BOC at this point and reduced it to one disc. Their fears were well-founded as the album sold so poorly and was viewed as such a f**k-up that Columbia successfully sued BOC to reimburse the label for the cost of producing the album.) Christ knows what would have transpired on five more platters of this. It's worse than Battlefield Earth.
The album ended up being so poorly received that it temporarily put an end to their career and it would be ten years before they put out new product. However with years and distance its critical stature has grown. But it's still completely mental.
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