About Chickens
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Printed Date: December 12 2024 at 09:57
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Topic: About Chickens
Posted By: barbs
Subject: About Chickens
Date Posted: June 10 2005 at 06:51
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Why did the chicken cross the road ANSWERS ACCORDING TO: Plato: For the greater good of man Aristotle: It is the nature of chickens to cross roads Hippocrates: To improve its circulation Timothy Leary: Because thats the only trip the establishment would let it take Richard M Nixon: The chicken did not cross the road, I repeat, the chicken did not cross the road. Bill Clinton: I did not, I repeat, I did not have relations with that chicken. George Bush: To prove that he isn't our enemy Captain James T Kirk: To boldly go where no chicken has ever gone before Freud: The fact that you are at all concerned about the chicken reveals your underlying frustration with your mother Bill Gates: Who cares about that chicken when I have just released the New Chicken Office 2005 which will not only cross roads and lay eggs but file your important documents and balance your books Charles Darwin: Chickens over great periods of time have been naturally selected in such a way that they are now genetically disposed to cross roads Ernest Hemingway: To die, in the rain Grandpa: In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Someone told us that the chicken crossed the road and that was good enought for us. ------------- Eternity |
Replies:
Posted By: BaldFriede
Date Posted: June 10 2005 at 07:06
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Einstein: For an impartial observer it is equally true to say that the chicken crossed the road or that the road crossed the chicken. Buddah: The chicken crossing the road is merely an illusion. Karl Marx: The chicking crossing the road is the beginning of the proletarian revolt against obstruction and capitalist exploitation. Franz Kafka: The chicken knew it was condemned anyway. -------------  BaldJean and I; I am the one in blue. |
barbs wrote:Posted By: BaldJean
Date Posted: June 10 2005 at 07:14
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Heraclit: It is impossible for the chicken to cross the same road twice. Socrates: Let us first consider if the chicken crossing the road could serve as an example of moral turpitude. If yes, we should not call any more attention to the matter by speaking about it. Plato: The chicken and the road are only poor images of the idea of a chicken and the idea of a road. Somewhere there is an ideal chicken crossing an ideal road. (I know Plato already had his say, but the first explanation did not fit too well into Plato's philosophy) -------------  A shot of me as High Priestess of Gaia during our fall festival. Ceterum censeo principiis obsta |
Posted By: barbs
Date Posted: June 10 2005 at 07:19
 also Ralph Waldo Emerson: The chicken did not cross the road he transcended it Dr Seuss: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes! The chicken crossed the road, but why he crossed, I've not been told. Karl Marx also said: It was historical inevitability  ------------- Eternity |
Posted By: BaldJean
Date Posted: June 10 2005 at 07:34
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Thomas Mann: The timid chicken,
nervously looking left and right while fearfully fluffing up its
eggshell-white blackspotted plumage, anxiously scurried back and forth
along the road until finally, with a triumphant clucking, it overcame
its trepidation and hastily scuttled across the battered road between
Berlin and Weimar. Free at least!
------------- A shot of me as High Priestess of Gaia during our fall festival. Ceterum censeo principiis obsta |
Posted By: barbs
Date Posted: June 10 2005 at 07:38
Henry Lawson: out ere in the outback a chicken wouldn't get two feet across the road before e gets lost in the bulldust ------------- Eternity |
Posted By: BaldJean
Date Posted: June 10 2005 at 07:42
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Michael Schuhmacher: A chicken crossed the road? Now that's what caused the dent in the nose of my new Ferrari.
------------- A shot of me as High Priestess of Gaia during our fall festival. Ceterum censeo principiis obsta |
Posted By: barbs
Date Posted: June 10 2005 at 07:51
Baldjean: I will get this chicken across the road before Barbs does or my names not Baldjean  ------------- Eternity |
Posted By: barbs
Date Posted: June 10 2005 at 08:15
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Deathbed confession Jake was on his deathbed. His wife, Susan, was maintaining a vigil by his side. She held his fragile hand and tears ran down her face. Her praying roused him from his slumber. He looked up and his pale lips began to move ever so slightly. "My darling Susan" he whispered. "Hush, my love" she said. "Rest, don't talk". He was insistent. "Susan" he said in his tired voice. "There is something I must confess to you" "There is nothing to confess" replied the weeping Susan. "Everything is alright. Go to sleep". "No, no, I must die in peace Susan" as he gasps short bursts of air "I slept with both your sisters, your best friend, your cousin and your mother." "I know" she replied, "Thats why I poisoned you." ------------- Eternity |
Posted By: Syzygy
Date Posted: June 10 2005 at 11:27
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Wittgenstein The chicken did not cross the road, the chicken is here in this room and you can't prove that it isn't. Nietzsche The chicken stared deeply into the road, and the road stared deeply back at the chicken. Schopenhauer The chicken crossed the road in the hope of being run over and ending its miserable existence. Basho Chicken by the road - Enormous truck - Splat! There is no chicken.
------------- 'Like so many of you I've got my doubts about how much to contribute to the already rich among us...' Robert Wyatt, Gloria Gloom |
Posted By: BaldFriede
Date Posted: June 10 2005 at 11:59
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Heidegger: The being is the chicken, its so-being is crossing the road. ------------- BaldJean and I; I am the one in blue. |
Posted By: bluetailfly
Date Posted: June 10 2005 at 12:14
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Jung: The chicken crossing the road is a mythical archetype that recurs across cultures and signifies the conflicted relationship between nature and society. ------------- "The red polygon's only desire / is to get to the blue triangle." |
Posted By: bluetailfly
Date Posted: June 10 2005 at 12:20
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Peter Hamill: Living, if you claim that all ------------- "The red polygon's only desire / is to get to the blue triangle." |
Posted By: Syzygy
Date Posted: June 10 2005 at 12:22
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Descartes The chicken thought about crossing the road, therefore it did. James Joyce Stately plump chickychicken cluckclucked at the roadside on a spring morn and a fine spring morn it was too observed Stephen Daedalus at the bar in Davy Byrnes, a great nourishing draught of porter imbibed and then Bloom asked the chicken? The divil take your egg laying fowl said Stephen can't a man have some peace no the chicken at the road says Bloom, what became of it? Stephen gazed ceilingward a long alequaffing pipefilling moment I believe it's on the other side now he exhaled good man yourself says Bloom it's a grand tale you tell. ------------- 'Like so many of you I've got my doubts about how much to contribute to the already rich among us...' Robert Wyatt, Gloria Gloom |
Posted By: Snow Dog
Date Posted: June 10 2005 at 12:23
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Colonel Sanders: Go get that chicken back boy! ------------- http://www.last.fm/user/Snow_Dog" rel="nofollow"> 
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Posted By: bluetailfly
Date Posted: June 10 2005 at 12:46
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Sartre: To truly exist is to respond to a chicken crossing the road with anxiety and nausea. ------------- "The red polygon's only desire / is to get to the blue triangle." |
Posted By: BaldFriede
Date Posted: June 10 2005 at 12:47
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Ok, we had Joyce, so let's hear what Thomas Pynchon has to say: Thomas Pynchon: A chicken comes across the road. It has happened before, but there is nothing to compare it to now. ------------- BaldJean and I; I am the one in blue. |
Posted By: bluetailfly
Date Posted: June 10 2005 at 13:12
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Vonnegut: We crawled out of the Dresden bunker to a complete smoldering waste land. The alien from Traframador looked up and said, "why do humans do this to each other?" I stared forward. A chicken crossed the road. And so it goes. ------------- "The red polygon's only desire / is to get to the blue triangle." |
Posted By: Syzygy
Date Posted: June 10 2005 at 13:58
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Samuel Beckett:
Serge Gainbourg: Pourquoi le p'tit poulet a-t'elle traversee la rue? Parce qu' it 'ad 'ad un oeuf! (From the unreleased Melody Nelson: Ses Meilleures Blagues)
------------- 'Like so many of you I've got my doubts about how much to contribute to the already rich among us...' Robert Wyatt, Gloria Gloom |
Posted By: HaroldLand
Date Posted: June 11 2005 at 18:31
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F. Scott Fitzgerald: The
chicken crossed the road because the vitality of his illusion was such
that that he decided, "sure, you can repeat the past". Shakespeare: Take thee me for a chicken? |
Posted By: synthguy
Date Posted: June 11 2005 at 20:35
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Freud:
"Is the chicken really a chicken? careful, it might be your penis!" ------------- Wearing feelings on our faces when our faces took a rest... |
Posted By: Syzygy
Date Posted: June 12 2005 at 15:12
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Hunter S. Thompson The chickens were somewhere in the desert outside Barstow when the drugs began to take hold. "I'm gonna cross the road once all these bats have gone away!" "What bats?". The first chicken said nothing, the other one would be seeing the bats soon enough anyway and he was on a mission to take a heinous quantity of drugs and cros the road to get the goddam story. ------------- 'Like so many of you I've got my doubts about how much to contribute to the already rich among us...' Robert Wyatt, Gloria Gloom |
Posted By: markosherrera
Date Posted: December 07 2006 at 16:06
| Me gustan las pollitas tiernas ,hey search a dictionary and learn some of spanish |
Posted By: markosherrera
Date Posted: December 07 2006 at 16:08
| CHIC--KEN .is an elegant KEN. |
Posted By: progadicto
Date Posted: December 07 2006 at 16:11
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Bukowski: The chicken cross the road because he was drunk. Ian Anderson: The chicken has lost his spectacles!!! ------------- ... E N E L B U N K E R... |
Posted By: Peter
Date Posted: December 07 2006 at 16:13
 There's a fried chicken takeout in Cape Breton, Nova Scotia called Lick-a-Chick.
  "Finger lickin' good," I suppose.... ------------- "And, has thou slain the Jabberwock? Come to my arms, my beamish boy! O frabjous day! Callooh! Callay!' He chortled in his joy. |
Posted By: Sean Trane
Date Posted: December 07 2006 at 16:15
The Chicken: WTF did those stupid humans built a bloody road across my path???? ------------- let's just stay above the moral melee prefer the sink to the gutter keep our sand-castle virtues content to be a doer as well as a thinker, prefer lifting our pen rather than un-sheath our sword |
Posted By: Peter
Date Posted: December 07 2006 at 16:16
Why did the pervert cross the road?
Because he was stuck to the chicken!   ------------- "And, has thou slain the Jabberwock? Come to my arms, my beamish boy! O frabjous day! Callooh! Callay!' He chortled in his joy. |
Posted By: Peter
Date Posted: December 07 2006 at 16:19
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Why did Sean Trane cross the road?
To get to the other ditch!
  ------------- "And, has thou slain the Jabberwock? Come to my arms, my beamish boy! O frabjous day! Callooh! Callay!' He chortled in his joy. |
Posted By: Sean Trane
Date Posted: December 07 2006 at 16:20
Sooo Peter that Cape Breton dinner is the only plce you've ever licked a chick, uh???? ------------- let's just stay above the moral melee prefer the sink to the gutter keep our sand-castle virtues content to be a doer as well as a thinker, prefer lifting our pen rather than un-sheath our sword |
Posted By: Peter
Date Posted: December 07 2006 at 16:21
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Rubber chicken: good advice for the newly-married man.... ------------- "And, has thou slain the Jabberwock? Come to my arms, my beamish boy! O frabjous day! Callooh! Callay!' He chortled in his joy. |
Posted By: Sean Trane
Date Posted: December 07 2006 at 16:24
or his young dog making his teeth on it (instead of your heels)------------- let's just stay above the moral melee prefer the sink to the gutter keep our sand-castle virtues content to be a doer as well as a thinker, prefer lifting our pen rather than un-sheath our sword |
Posted By: Peter
Date Posted: December 07 2006 at 16:27
The only public place, anyway....
But I hear you like to eat at "the Y."
 Suddenly, I have a curious craving for tacos.... Jody will delete this thread in 3 - 2 - 1.... ------------- "And, has thou slain the Jabberwock? Come to my arms, my beamish boy! O frabjous day! Callooh! Callay!' He chortled in his joy. |
Posted By: Sean Trane
Date Posted: December 07 2006 at 16:29
I prefer eating pussy than chicken 
OK Jody, you can close the thread now  ------------- let's just stay above the moral melee prefer the sink to the gutter keep our sand-castle virtues content to be a doer as well as a thinker, prefer lifting our pen rather than un-sheath our sword |