Or do I? Because I don't rap or write at all anymore. Do I still got it?

 

Well here's the deal. You give me a song title, any song title you like, and I will freestyle a verse with that title. No holds barred but if you give me an off colour title don't complain if you get an off colour rhyme so to that end you might like to be responsible about what you ask for.

 

And now, my first music videos!

(Pls if you know some sexy black girls who don't wear much, send them over before I make my next one)

 

 

 

 

 

What are the dangers of a kiddie pool full of razors

Not much cos the razors lacerate it, it's deflated

Nothing left to play with, a plain mess, it's aimless

The project is the same as other things that are brainless

I bet that I could sell you a sun powered flashlight

Or believe it if I tell you the NEXT president will act right

Get the facts right when you detail your concepts

Or all you're gonna get is failure and nonsense

 

Fresh for all you suckers.

 

One at a time I think.

Only time I see the illest is when I'm checking mirrors

 

And so on.

I'm so ill, AIDS is scared it will catch me.

 

(Apologies to Canibus from whom I stole that rhyme) ;)

 

I Eat The Bible coming soon btw...

Biblical battle rap, yay. Freestyling, so apologies if lame but I'm usually not too shabby at this.

 

I eat the bible

 

I manifest divine will, the rhymes will give your spine chills

Prior to this recital I have dined on a bible

Used to regurgitating verses but now I'm spitting out chapters

Reciting last rites over hearses of inadequate rappers

Of wack rappers I'm the nemesis, send them into exodus

Of dope rhymes I'm the genesis, others can't get next to this

Call me Leviticus with my law of what's lyrical

All of you are witnesses who saw my miracle

I don't do it by numbers, I know the way like deuteronomy

Liberating you dunces, and since you're new to autonomy

All ya'll have to follow me, except for wack MCs

You can't touch this, you little MC Macabees

All my disciples find my lyrics are vital

This is the song of songs, corrects you like Malachi will

Declaring my supremacy like the letter to Colossians

Those acknowledging my eminency would fill the colosseum

Which brings us to Romans, explanation that I am salvation

Lamentation awaits the nations that deny this revelation

Lay it down like Galatians, from on high inspired when I write this

Want to know how to worship me you need to read Titus

 

Alright, I can keep going but that's enough.... hope people can understand it ;)

But i hear it as rap in my head and I hate it

You write us a song and I berate it

I had more but I pressed back by mistake and lost it all

 

Sarah Palin and the presidency,

hockey mom and politics

I'd rather see you keeping up hip-hoppin'

I'd love to see you diss that elkboy Ben

cuz I know with no doubt that you can.

And guess what? He's a New-Zealander too

and all motherf**kers say so are you. 

WHAT WHAT YEAH
WHAT WHAT YEAH
WHAT YEAH! 

 

The celestial foundry without any boundaries

The concept astounds me, affects me profoundly

2 gyr passing, no that's not babble

A gyr is gigayear, not some Indian cattle

Can your mind handle the matter, or does it just shatter

At the thought of this order of awe worthy data

Orbiting strata coalesce and compress

Ashes to astra, dust to planets, nothing less 

Particles colliding made the place where we're residing

You think the dark matter's hiding but its brilliance is blinding

Theories untestable but matter infintessimal

Becomes planetessimal, possibilites inestimable

Devolution inevitable, the solar system dissolves

The energy can't hold but continually evolves

Now Sleepwalker was a shepherd, ought to tend to his flock

But he rather had the preference for pulling on his cock

The ewes and the rams and the lambs were hunger stricken

Cos he'd rather milk the cow or choke the purple chicken

They were suffering neglect while he was rubbing it erect

They had to find a way to bring some grub into effect

This guy was never counting sheep, he didn't go to sleep

He kept giving it a tweak over dreams of Bo Peep

His self abuse was profuse and the sheep had had enough

His ovine enemies decided to get tough

They rammed into the door, knocked it to the floor

Walker didn't hear the roar, because he'd rubbed himself raw

So the pain caused a distraction as the skin was now fractured

And blood began to drip and splatter on his adult reading matter

And then the sheep attackers stormed in and soon devoured the fool

Who spent his last bit of life rubbing it against their wool

The moral of the story is before things get too drastic

Look after the others and don't be so onanastic

 

 

Sleepwalker: Hey you asked for it ;) Literally ;)

 

Smacks of euphoric hysteria

Are what I'm going to apply to your posterior-

 

alright time out, I think we'll all be better off if I let that drop.

 

title:

 

The Shape of Things That Fall From the Night

 

 

Fumbling for the light, the comfort of the bright

Yes I remember these times in my memories

Hugging teddy with tightness, lifeless but a friend to me

From outsides noises, the feral world's voices

Cutting through comfort's poises to remind you choices

Are just an illusion, in the dark is confusion

Brooding but soon to intrude through your puny occlusion

Your bedroom window, peering out of it in fear

What are these forms that appear gliding through the air

Tree limbs, shifting on sinister winds

Visions of aliens landing in cylindrical tins

The roof gets to creaking, shadows start speaking

Weakening your reasons as fears start to seep in

What fantastical shapes these phantasms take

That the mind creates until the dawn breaks

But this unknown forms are gone with the morn

Another day older and bolder at dawn

Wouldn't it be better if they came in bite sized chunks

But I'm not suggesting that we become cannibals

Cos every young child loves to feed the animals

Have a ride down the slide straight into the sawblade

Improve the status of our schools more than changes to the law made

Feed the brats to your cat, now kitten has a hearty nibble

Use this as the jingle for the ad, for kindergarten brand kibbles

There are a couple of slip-ups but not huge ones and I couldn't be bothered re-recording over and over to get it just right, it was a one take deal. First time I'm performing it so it's not that smooth but you get the idea.

 

(patched up lyric)

 

The evolution of a protoplanetary disk in the first two gigayears

That's a real big idea, now check the figures here

10 million years to form, warmth 1000 kelvins

1000 AU size the norm, come with me as I delve in

The celestial foundry without any boundaries

The concept astounds me, affects me profoundly

2 GYR passing, no that's not babble

A GYR's a gigayear, not Indian cattle

Can your mind handle the matter, or does it just shatter

At the thought of this order of awe worthy data

Orbiting strata coalesce and compress

Ashes to astra, dust to planets, nothing less 

Particles colliding made the place where we're residing

Dark matter's in space hiding but its radiance is blinding

Theories untestable but matter infintessimal

Becomes planetessimal, process unguessable

Probabilities, properties and potential inestimable

Devolution inevitable, solar system dissolves

The energy can't hold but ineffably evolves

 

 

After the muted response to the video I wasn't sure I was going to bother anymore (now I know how Guy Manning feels) but maybe I should write up a verse for Solar's topic anyway ;)

Now I can actually see you I feel that i really like you.

Weird.

So am I.

Sorry if I was over familiar. Was just trying to be nice.

 

They weren't kidding about PA being serious business.

 

It may even be more serious business than the internet itself.

I thought you might be joking, honestly, but wasn't sure enough.  

 

Anyway SD as you may have detected I come from a hip-hop background and there's this whole "No homo" thing that goes on in hip-hop. Originally a genuine homophobic thing it's now mutated into a sort of ironic/sarcastic thing done to mock homophobia. So everytime someone says something kind of gay you don't let it pass by without a joke.

 

But your new avatar made me think you were offering me flowers or something.

 

Such a teeny being, barely calls to mind a man

Ladies tee hee when they see him, ask him to stand

Though he is already, so this makes him red, he

Knows ladies want cannelloni but he only got spaghetti

He just doesn't have the size to measure up to other guys

No matter how hard he tries he's considered small fries

He's so bitter and twisted, screwed up with hate

This little sad midget, threw out his measuring tape

And what's this mini-me's indentity , who's this frustrated little prick?

Why, the Tony Cox of cocks, it's Solarluna's dick

Ah'm an angry Scoot I am, the worst ye've ever seen

Ye kinnae ken an angrier men from here to Aberdeen

All chappies know down in Glasgow that I'ma do yer heddin

It's awfully risky if ye touch me whiskey, it's tartan armegeddon

I'll cut of your sporrans, ye'll be a gonnun, in short ye will get hurt

If ye mess with me, ye'll get kilt and I don't mean the skirt

So don't pay a visit ya flamin' eejit, or ye'll get a bloody thumpin'

My name is Angus, I've got guts like a haggis, ye're just a clootie dumplin'

 

Is it all nothingness, eternal obsidian?
Or tormented sufferers, infernal oblivion?
Or smothered in god's love for us, vernal Elysium?
What believers believe in turn will imprison them
Some people quote scribes divine about the final curtain
But I quote Royce the 5'9" and say that "Death is certain"
And I'm hurtin', wantin' answers, looking for a chance for
Redemption or life extension, cos my mother just got cancer
In her left breast, flesh of death where I fed as an infant
Gave me life, gets me thinkin', you can be dead in an instant
No rehearsal, no reversal, eventually the hearse'll
Take you to the coffin, no dodgin', it's universal
I want to know the deaths of my offspring, to see how they exit
But I'll be in underground lodging, for them I accept it
And beneath dirt, work and hurt in mother earth deep
My form'll disperse as it formed at birth and I'll truly start to sleep

 

For now my life's enlightened like the shining of two suns
My whole world is brightened by the life of my new sons
The gemini factor, and I am a slacker
Washed up would-be rapper, nerdy backpacker
Sad excuse for an actor, but now I'm confessin'
Before this new chapter as I receive a double blessing
You would think I'm stressin with three kids, a triumvirate
But I learn lessons from the pressure, I won't go under it
The first twenty years I had a ball, it was all playing
Now I see I didn't grow at all, I was only aging
Now I'm at a stage when there's no more time for faking
Had my fun baby making now I'm bringing home the bacon
My hip-hop cred is dead when I tell you that Matt be
Actually happy when he's changing a nappy
And that be wisdom of the ancients, my statement
For the elation of creation of children there's no replacement

 

 

Careful what you wish for.

 

I started adlibbing at the end this time I was so into the flow of my scottish accent, JJ's welcome to do the transcript.

 

in fact I am not even sure if

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0UUrkVB-utw - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0UUrkVB-utw