A new song... please share your ideas
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Topic: A new song... please share your ideas
Posted By: jampa17
Subject: A new song... please share your ideas
Date Posted: May 31 2010 at 16:41
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Hello, this is the third project I'm working with right now, besides of my rock band and my solo project and I do want some feedback and comments to share. This is a pop rock project which is meant for radio airing and strongly mainstream... That's fine with me, this friends do want to "live" from it and they are in the right of... so I help with the keyboards and drum programming and also composition, but this particular song was made by a friend and I did only arrangements. I know, maybe this is not prog but I do want some feedback about production, sound and what feeling it brings... the song is called "Soledades Ajenas" and is in spanish... thanks for your time guys and girls...
http://yourlisten.com/channel/content/46979/Soledades%20Ajenas - http://yourlisten.com/channel/content/46979/Soledades%20Ajenas
Just push play in the box and that's it... thanks... ------------- |
Replies:
Posted By: Epignosis
Date Posted: May 31 2010 at 17:05
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Great song blending jazz and pop sensibilities. Other than an overall volume issue, I would say that the singer needs to be brought out in many parts (in pop music, the vocals are the most important thing). Very nice voice, by the way. The strummed guitar during the refrain especially needs a different tone (it sounded bland to me). I quite like the little quirky organ bit. It's "cute," and cute sells in pop music. Drums are thin sounding. Excellent melody and great hooks. I like this song (even though I do not know what she is singing  ).------------- https://epignosis.bandcamp.com/album/a-month-of-sundays" rel="nofollow - https://epignosis.bandcamp.com/album/a-month-of-sundays |
Posted By: jampa17
Date Posted: May 31 2010 at 17:15
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Oh thanks... I forgot to post there that she didn't record properly... that was just the guideline and we are about to record with her and maybe place some choruses here and there... but thanks Rob... Yeah... the volume is worring me but as I keep working I'm getting better on this... I should make a new mix of it...
And she is singing about a girl that has a lot of dreams but end up being a whore  ... in a very beautiful way... so... thanks pal... ------------- |
Posted By: Epignosis
Date Posted: May 31 2010 at 17:26
A song all of us can relate to.  ------------- https://epignosis.bandcamp.com/album/a-month-of-sundays" rel="nofollow - https://epignosis.bandcamp.com/album/a-month-of-sundays |
jampa17 wrote:Posted By: jampa17
Date Posted: May 31 2010 at 17:29
That's what I thought the first time I read it...  ------------- |
Posted By: Any Colour You Like
Date Posted: May 31 2010 at 17:33
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Yeah, as Rob said, the vocals need to brought out a bit, and perhaps the drums sound a bit thin. Overall though I though it was nice, and given some more polishing of the sound I could see it working well. It's quite a dreamy track, so I think if you could really make the vocals and drums 'pop' (pardon the pun) then I'm sure it would be good. Only one real problem, there was no 12 minute organ solo followed by a 6 minute ambient break before a gradual post-metal explosion.  |
Posted By: Epignosis
Date Posted: May 31 2010 at 17:35
You know, I thought the exact same thing when I heard it. ------------- https://epignosis.bandcamp.com/album/a-month-of-sundays" rel="nofollow - https://epignosis.bandcamp.com/album/a-month-of-sundays |
Posted By: jampa17
Date Posted: May 31 2010 at 17:36
it will be a B-side... they didn't want me to show off there... but in the demos album I will place the solo organ... don't worry...!!! Thanks for the comments... ------------- |
Posted By: UndercoverBoy
Date Posted: May 31 2010 at 17:53
It's quite good, Juan. While it's not my kind of music, I can see it being very popular with the Pop crowd. Still, I really enjoyed the organ in the song, very nostalgic in a weird way. As Robert said, it's a very cute song, and I'm sure you will do great with it.
(By the way, I'm not an expert on critiquing music, especially the finer details, so others' remarks may carry more weight.)
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Posted By: The Quiet One
Date Posted: May 31 2010 at 18:19
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Indeed a very, very nice song, Juan. I really like the smooth feel, the organ sound is great!
Sounds overall like a very decent pop song, and I would agree that the vocals could get a bit more of space if you're really trying to make it sound "poppier" as well as the drums, for me they're fine though hehe.
Thanks for sharing your music, it's always really cool to listen to PA members own music, be it Prog or not.
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Posted By: jampa17
Date Posted: May 31 2010 at 18:24
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Thanks Josh and Pablo... I do see some patterns here with all your comments... I hope to have more to share soon... a new mix and the record of the vocals will be significant... thanks and stay tune.. more is there to come... ------------- |
Posted By: SaltyJon
Date Posted: May 31 2010 at 20:24
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Apart from what the others are saying about the vocals needing to be brought out a bit more and the drum sound, it sounds good to me! As you said, a nice little pop tune!
------------- http://www.last.fm/user/Salty_Jon" rel="nofollow"> 
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Posted By: seventhsojourn
Date Posted: June 01 2010 at 03:57
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Ok Juan,
I really like this! Nice gradual dynamic in the build-up from quiet verse -> louder, more upbeat chorus. Singer's voice has a vulnerability that suits the subject matter of the song. The organ has that great Farfisa tone... combined with the female vocals this makes me think of 10,000 Maniacs, a band I'm always mentioning in 'alternative/indie' polls. I hope you don't mind me making this comparison... it's meant as a compliment.
 Keep putting it out there buddy!
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Posted By: jampa17
Date Posted: June 03 2010 at 20:15
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Thanks guys... really, all the comments and PM that I recieved are helping me alot to improve the sound and my knowledge so... stay tuned... ------------- |
Posted By: seventhsojourn
Date Posted: June 04 2010 at 03:39
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Juan,
Good to hear from you! I heard that hundreds died and thousands more were left homeless after flooding and landslides
 The UK has its own tragedy today, but you have my prayers... |
Posted By: jampa17
Date Posted: June 05 2010 at 23:08
Oh, thanks Chris, thank God nor me nor my family and friends loose anything... but many people did so now is time to help them and our society is very strong together so we will go up soon, as always... this kind of tragedies tend to happen very often, you know, every five years or so and is a total responsability of the Government, they just don't care about nothing but stealing and they know that people tend to organize by their ownselves so the Government spend more money in commitions between the heads and they talk about millions but the people never get something from them.. so, I always piss off when I talk about it...
Now, I don't know what tragedy in UK you are talking about but I've been very disconnected... I've working on the studio for days and miss all the news... sorry to hear that... but I don't know what happened... my prayers are with you... ------------- |
Posted By: jampa17
Date Posted: June 23 2010 at 18:10
Well guys, here it is, our third song. I just want to know a few of comments... I have a little doubts but I trust in your honesty... please, just push play in the next link and enjoy... any comments...? thanks... 
http://yourlisten.com/channel/content/50091/Still%20dont%20have%20it - http://yourlisten.com/channel/content/50091/Still%20don't%20have%20it ------------- |
Posted By: The Quiet One
Date Posted: June 23 2010 at 19:09
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^Once again, Juan, this is very neat stuff, this time the vocals standout.
Really like the melody with the piano and all. You know I'm no producer/sound egineers whatsoever, but I think that the bass in the second half of the song which is higher in volume doesn't suit very well, I like it, but I think it's ok with the volume it had in the first half.
I know you asked me to check out the lyrics, but I'm afraird to say that I'm probably one of the most ignorant music fans when it comes to lyrics, even if they're in my own language hehe. So, sorry for not "being able" of commenting on that.
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Posted By: harmonium.ro
Date Posted: June 23 2010 at 19:49
Good stuff Juan!  The songs are good, and the vocalist is a great asset to your project. What constructive critique could I come up with? Hmm... There's nothing bad to the two tracks I've listened, really. What I like in pop-rock is to hear the instruments very clearly, to hear them "separate" from each other and to perceive their timbre. For that I think you simply need better production and more studio experience... pop's as difficult to do well just like any other genre. But if you do manage to do it well, at least there can be some real profit. Thanks for letting me know about this, I didn't notice the thread before. |
Posted By: DisgruntledPorcupine
Date Posted: June 23 2010 at 20:15
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Not quite my style of music, but it's a very beautiful song.
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Posted By: jampa17
Date Posted: June 23 2010 at 22:02
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Oh... thanks for the comments boys... I will check them out... it's always better to have an outsider point of view so, thanks for your comments... ------------- |
Posted By: halabalushindigus
Date Posted: June 25 2010 at 03:54
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What I see in this, and I talk to Juan frequently, so he knows this, is a determined young man who spent many many months creating this track, and there;s more to come from Juan and he is reaching out to the PA membors, out of respect, for their critque. And there are some "heavyweights" out there
for example Epignosis, Any colour You, Like harmonium(france)and The Quiet One all you guys are bringing the fruit home to Juan
And here's my point. With some 4000 posts I see Jampa17 as a visionary who time has come
ps. I have had that hook(from the song) in my head for the last 18 hrs
I give this young man a standing ovation
elvis? ------------- assume the power 1586/14.3 |
Posted By: progkidjoel
Date Posted: June 25 2010 at 04:09
Wow Juan, this is great stuff! Absolutely love the guitar at the intro. Really fantastic vocal section too. 
As some others have mentioned, it'd sound a bit better with the vocals a bit louder, and maybe with the bass a bit softer. Really great stuff though, look forward to hearing whatever else you make!
Really like the second track as well, wonderful vocals again. I think the guitar could be a little louder at the chorus as well, but still a fantastic track. Keep up the great work friend ------------- 
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Posted By: Epignosis
Date Posted: June 25 2010 at 07:37
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Very pleasant song! This to me sounds like a light Steely Dan tune. Again, there's a great, memorable melody, and the voice is lovely. I think one thing it could benefit from are some pithy fills into between some of the vocal lines. The piano accomplishes this occasionally, but I think some clean electric guitar bends and short runs could add a new dimension to the song. But maybe that's just me. ------------- https://epignosis.bandcamp.com/album/a-month-of-sundays" rel="nofollow - https://epignosis.bandcamp.com/album/a-month-of-sundays |
Posted By: UndercoverBoy
Date Posted: June 25 2010 at 10:26
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A nice song, with a memorable and beautiful melody. Not a lot I can say, as I've said before, I'm not an expert in criticizing the finer details of music. Good work.
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Posted By: jampa17
Date Posted: June 25 2010 at 11:04
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Oh... thank you all my friends... your advises and opinions are very important to me and I do get what are you saying... this is great, because many of your ideas are really helping me to make better mixes, most of the things I feel is about the mixing, so, really, thanks for the help... @Rob: yeah, in fact we were thinking about bring a little distor guitars in the chorus and precisely bend guitars here and there... so, maybe we are thinking over the same... we'll see in the next rehearsal, I will talk with them about all your ideas... thanks for your time... ------------- |
Posted By: seventhsojourn
Date Posted: June 25 2010 at 11:11
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Just want to reinforce Josh's points... this is another pretty song, similar in style to the last one. The sound is better and the vocals are clearer, although the piano could maybe come up a bit more. Not much else to add to my previous comments. Nice work again buddy
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Posted By: warrplayer
Date Posted: June 26 2010 at 19:42
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How did you mic the guitar at the beginning? You could use a little more room ambiance on the guitar at the beginning, but it sounds nice in the full mix. However pushing the guitar back in the mix with a bit more reverb, might work better than trying to boost the singer. She sounds pretty good. She is a bit over on the right channel (if the mp3 is accurate). That's not a bad thing, but if you are going to go with that you might want to pan the guitar a bit to the left right when she comes in. (these are all opinions....and everyone's got one. ) The drums and bass coming in together sounds a bit jarring. Have the drums or the bass do a couple of pick up notes at the end of the previous measure. Or have the bass come in first and the drums a measure later maybe. when we get to the second quieter section too many tracks appear to be coming mainly from the right channel. Check your stereo mix tracks...you might be able to get away with simply boosting the left channel a bit, but it sounds mainly like a panning problem, meaning you might have to remix it. all the instruments sound really good though. really good! The singer sounds great too. The arrangement is quite nice. Kudos. you definitely have a nice song here. Everything is there and recorded well. Can't tell you about the lyrical content... I'm an ignorant unilingual American. |
Posted By: jampa17
Date Posted: June 28 2010 at 18:56
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Thanks Dave, your detailed analysis is great. Yes, most of it is about the mixing, it's just so subjective topic but it's great to see the response. Interesting, giving reverb to the guitar maybe help a lot to the intention sending the guitar to the back... that's nice... I will try it... stay tuned, I will post something new and fresh... soon.. thanks again... ------------- |