Just for Fun - My Nephew's Joke

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My Nephew's Joke

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Category: Topics not related to music
Forum Name: Just for Fun
Forum Description: Participate in trivia and knowledge games, share jokes, etc.
URL: http://www.progarchives.com/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=65301
Printed Date: December 12 2024 at 17:51
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Topic: My Nephew's Joke

Posted By: presdoug
Subject: My Nephew's Joke
Date Posted: February 23 2010 at 18:16

I heard a funny one from one of my nephews, and would like to share it-

What did the duck say to the waiter?
Put it on my bill.

Replies:

Posted By: Slartibartfast
Date Posted: February 23 2010 at 18:40

Hmmm, should have dropped this under just for fun. Now we're going to have to have a general discussion about your nephew. LOL

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Released date are often when it it impacted you but recorded dates are when it really happened...

Posted By: zappaholic
Date Posted: February 23 2010 at 19:52

Hey, every comedian's gotta start somewhere.

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"Democracy is the theory that the common people know what they want, and deserve to get it good and hard." -- H.L. Mencken

Posted By: Tarquin Underspoon
Date Posted: February 23 2010 at 23:02

^ Yeah, but it's where they end that matters. And I'll tell you what, if that previous joke is any indication......

......he is on his way to greatness, fame and fortune.

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"WAAAAAAOOOOOUGH! WAAAAAAAUUUUGGHHHH!! WAAAAAOOOO!!!"

-The Great Gig in the Sky

Posted By: presdoug
Date Posted: February 24 2010 at 08:37

Slartibartfast wrote:

Hmmm, should have dropped this under just for fun. Now we're going to have to have a general discussion about your nephew. LOL

I had meant to post it under just for fun, but i made a mistake, must have been too late and i was too tired

Posted By: Dean
Date Posted: February 24 2010 at 11:07

What do you call a pig with one eye?

pig.

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What?

Posted By: clarke2001
Date Posted: February 26 2010 at 15:21

Two fisherman are out sailing when suddenly a hand appears in the sea. "What's this?" asked the first fisherman, "It looks as if someone is drowning!"
"No," explained the second fisherman, "It's just a little wave."

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https://japanskipremijeri.bandcamp.com/album/perkusije-gospodine" rel="nofollow - Percussion, sir!

Posted By: TODDLER
Date Posted: February 28 2010 at 06:16

AS FAR AS I CAN TELL

As far as I can tell, to be a real man, you must die of cancer with an ulcer and a war wound, before your time.

THE PARANOID'S ANSWER

The paranoid's answer when confronted with irrefutable evidence that no one is after him.
Oh my God! The huge and powerful organization that's after me has grown so huge + powerful
that they've forgotten about me!

Posted By: presdoug
Date Posted: February 28 2010 at 09:09

a man who had been trouble with his memory went to his doctor, and said-
         Doc, i have been having the worst trouble with my memory lately
           the Doctor replied, well, how long have you been having this problem?
               the man replied, What problem?

Posted By: Conor Fynes
Date Posted: February 28 2010 at 15:25

Sometimes the most simple of jokes are the funniest.

Posted By: presdoug
Date Posted: March 02 2010 at 06:26

What do you call a cross between a pig and a human?
A Piganoid.

Posted By: Vompatti
Date Posted: March 02 2010 at 06:32

BUA - AHA - AH - HA - AH - HAH - AH - HA - HAH - AH - HA- HAH - HA - HAAHH - A - HHA - HAH - HAHH - AHA - HAH - HA - AH - HAH - AH - AH - AH - AH - HA - HA - HAH - AHA - HA - HAHHA - HA - AH - HA - HAHAH - HA - HA - AH - HAH - AH - HA - HAH - AH - HA- HAH - HA - HAAHH - A - HHA - HAH - HAHH - AHA - HAH - HA - AH - HAH - AH - AH - AH - AH - HA - HA - HAH - AHA - HA - HAHHA - HA - AH - HA - HAHAH - HA - HA - AH - HAH - AH - HA - HAH - AH - HA- HAH - HA - HAAHH - A - HHA - HAH - HAHH - AHA - HAH - HA - AH - HAH - AH - AH - AH - AH - HA - HA - HAH - AHA - HA - HAHHA - HA - AH - HA - HAHAH - HA - HA - AH - HAH - AH - HA - HAH - AH - HA- HAH - HA - HAAHH - A - HHA - HAH - HAHH - AHA - HAH - HA - AH - HAH - AH - AH - AH - AH - HA - HA - HAH - AHA - HA - HAHHA - HA - AH - HA - HAHAH - HA - HA - AH - HAH - AH - HA - HAH - AH - HA- HAH - HA - HAAHH - A - HHA - HAH - HAHH - AHA - HAH - HA - AH - HAH - AH - AH - AH - AH - HA - HA - HAH - AHA - HA - HAHHA - HA - AH - HA - HAHAH - HA - HA - AH - HAH - AH - HA - HAH - AH - HA- HAH - HA - HAAHH - A - HHA - HAH - HAHH - AHA - HAH - HA - AH - HAH - AH - AH - AH - AH - HA - HA - HAH - AHA - HA - HAHHA - HA - AH - HA - HAHAH - HA - HA - AH - HAH - AH - HA - HAH - AH - HA- HAH - HA - HAAHH - A - HHA - HAH - HAHH - AHA - HAH - HA - AH - HAH - AH - AH - AH - AH - HA - HA - HAH - AHA - HA - HAHHA - HA - AH - HA - HAHAH - HA - HA - AH - HAH - AH - HA - HAH - AH - HA- HAH - HA - HAAHH - A - HHA - HAH - HAHH - AHA - HAH - HA - AH - HAH - AH - AH - AH - AH - HA - HA - HAH - AHA - HA - HAHHA - HA - AH - HA - HAHAH - HA - HA - AH - HAH - AH - HA - HAH - AH - HA- HAH - HA - HAAHH - A - HHA - HAH - HAHH - AHA - HAH - HA - AH - HAH - AH - AH - AH - AH - HA - HA - HAH - AHA - HA - HAHHA - HA - AH - HA - HAHAH - HA ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! !

That was pretty funny.

Posted By: npjnpj
Date Posted: March 02 2010 at 06:56

- "Look, I've just bought the smallest hearing-aid in the world"

- "Really? And what did you play for it?"

- "Oh, exactly quarter past four."

Posted By: TheGazzardian
Date Posted: March 02 2010 at 10:42

Dean wrote:

What do you call a pig with one eye?

pig.

What do you call a blind fish?

fsh!

Posted By: presdoug
Date Posted: March 02 2010 at 11:12

How do you keep a moron in suspense?

.................................................................................................................................................

Posted By: presdoug
Date Posted: March 03 2010 at 08:01

What was the road-paver's favorite science fiction series?
Tar Trek.

Posted By: presdoug
Date Posted: March 08 2010 at 16:46

Beethoven spent most of his life composing-you know what he is doing now,
          he is decomposing.

            who was the composer that had previously been a geologist?
                 Rachmaninov

           who was the composer with the re-occurring bad cough?
                  Tchaikovsky

Posted By: clarke2001
Date Posted: March 08 2010 at 16:54

presdoug wrote:

            who was the composer that had previously been a geologist?
                 Rachmaninov

           who was the composer with the re-occurring bad cough?
                  Tchaikovsky

I don't get it. Question

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https://japanskipremijeri.bandcamp.com/album/perkusije-gospodine" rel="nofollow - Percussion, sir!

Posted By: Epignosis
Date Posted: March 08 2010 at 16:55

clarke2001 wrote:

I don't get it. Question

"Rock" and "Cough," respectively.

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https://epignosis.bandcamp.com/album/a-month-of-sundays" rel="nofollow - https://epignosis.bandcamp.com/album/a-month-of-sundays

Posted By: A Person
Date Posted: March 08 2010 at 16:56

clarke2001 wrote:

I don't get it. Question

Rachmaninov sounds like Rockmaninov, and Tchaikovsky sounds like Tchaicoughsky?

Posted By: Dean
Date Posted: March 08 2010 at 16:59

Brahms and Liszt?

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What?

Posted By: clarke2001
Date Posted: March 08 2010 at 17:01

I half-guessed that myself... So it's not my bad English, but a shallow joke. Evil Smile

Perhaps a composer who's coughing while drinking tea would be funnier. Tchai - coff- ski.

Nah.

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https://japanskipremijeri.bandcamp.com/album/perkusije-gospodine" rel="nofollow - Percussion, sir!

Posted By: Epignosis
Date Posted: March 08 2010 at 17:03

clarke2001 wrote:

I half-guessed that myself... So it's not my bad English, but a shallow joke. Evil Smile

Perhaps a composer who's coughing while drinking tea would be funnier. Tchai - coff- ski.

Nah.

And soaring down the alps? Wink

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https://epignosis.bandcamp.com/album/a-month-of-sundays" rel="nofollow - https://epignosis.bandcamp.com/album/a-month-of-sundays

Posted By: clarke2001
Date Posted: March 08 2010 at 17:16

Epignosis wrote:

clarke2001 wrote:

I half-guessed that myself... So it's not my bad English, but a shallow joke. Evil Smile

Perhaps a composer who's coughing while drinking tea would be funnier. Tchai - coff- ski.

Nah.

And soaring down the alps? Wink

Pictured: an inspiration for The Nutcracker.
Not pictured: tuberculosis-induced cough.

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https://japanskipremijeri.bandcamp.com/album/perkusije-gospodine" rel="nofollow - Percussion, sir!

Posted By: Slartibartfast
Date Posted: March 08 2010 at 17:47

presdoug wrote:

What do you call a cross between a pig and a human?
A Piganoid.

Rush Limbaugh

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Released date are often when it it impacted you but recorded dates are when it really happened...

Posted By: presdoug
Date Posted: March 08 2010 at 18:53

A Person wrote:

clarke2001 wrote:

I don't get it. Question

Rachmaninov sounds like Rockmaninov, and Tchaikovsky sounds like Tchaicoughsky?

That is what i meant

Posted By: b4usleep
Date Posted: March 08 2010 at 20:57

Husband and wife are sitting quietly in bed reading when the Wife looks over at him and asks the question.

WIFE: "What would you do if I died? Would you get married Again?

HUSBAND: "Definitely not!"

WIFE: "Why not? Don't you like being married?"

HUSBAND: "Of course I do."

WIFE: "Then why wouldn't you remarry?"

HUSBAND: "Okay, okay, I'd get married again."

WIFE: "You would?" (with a hurt look)

HUSBAND: (makes audible groan)

WIFE: "Would you live in our house?"

HUSBAND: "Sure, it's a great house."

WIFE: "Would you sleep with her in our bed?"

HUSBAND: "Where else would we sleep?"

WIFE: "Would you let her drive my car?"

HUSBAND: "Probably, it is almost new."

WIFE: "Would you replace my pictures with hers?"

HUSBAND: "That would seem like the proper thing to do"

WIFE: "Would you give her my jewellery?"

HUSBAND: "No, I'm sure she'd want her own."

WIFE: "Would you take her golfing with you?

HUSBAND: "Yes, those are always good times."

WIFE: "Would she use my clubs?

HUSBAND: "No, she's left-handed."

WIFE: -- silence --

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Really don't mind if you sit this one out.
My words but a whisper, your deafness a shout.

Posted By: A Person
Date Posted: March 08 2010 at 21:12

Posted By: presdoug
Date Posted: March 09 2010 at 06:23

There were two old gentlemen , and one of them asked the other, "I wonder if there is baseball in heaven?" The other replied, "Well when one of us dies, he will have to come back to tell the other if there is."
         A year later, one of them died, and came back to communicate with the other.
             He said, "I have some good news, and some bad news for you" -his friend replied "Give me the good news first"
            "The good news is that there is baseball in heaven-the bad news is that they want you for pitcher tomorrow night!"

Posted By: Vompatti
Date Posted: March 09 2010 at 10:20

A man walks into a bar.
The barkeep says:
"Why the long face?"
(because the man looks like a horse a bit.)

Posted By: Dean
Date Posted: March 09 2010 at 10:32

a horse bit?