Wait until he is asleep,preferably drunk.

Dip a hot dog sausage or even better an English sausage,in tomato ketchup.
Place the sausage near his groin.
Invite a cat or dog to dine on said meaty treat.
Take photos
Wake up friend.
Run like hell.

I've removed this post as I don't want any idiot actually trying to blow anyone's fingers off.

em.

...or perhaps you should just tie his shoelaces together or something..... 

Actually, the best threat is the one that never materializes...

Create the illusion that you are in the midst of getting even, make him think your hatching a diabolical plot to exact revenge. It will drive him crazy!

emdiar wrote: Get him drunk and asleep, and fill his ears with vaseline. When he awakes he will think he has gone deaf.

or make him deaf with the envelope bomb thing.....

But hey,kids,pushing vaseline down your ear is not a good idea either.Uncle Em's just playing.And if he tries to apply vaseline elsewhere......

when he falls asleep you could also  let his hand fall into a bowl of warm water and he may wet his pants

Anybody who takes a piss in your Gatorade and lets you drink it, is not your friend, just forget him and forget revenge, because if you do something to him, he will prepare something even worst and so on, until one of you both has to suffer something really bad and ends in the hospital.

I've seen this happen, in my prom trip from school we went to Cuzco, and the first night this mother fu**er entered to the room shouting at 3 pm when I was sleeping and I almopst ended grabbed in the ceiling lamp. I sewared revenge.

The next day I bought a  very big  ice bag and didn't went out that night. I hided under his bed with my hands in the ice bag and keeping them almost frozen but dry with a cloth.

The guy came after three hours with some liquor inside him, so he sat in the bed to take his pants and with my frozen hands grabbed his legs from under the bed, the guy produced a short but soft shout and immediately lost consciousness, his eyes were semi open and white  I was 16 and at first I laughed, but he didn't totally  recover after 10 minutes when I had already called the professor who was our tour guide , he waked and started to shout and again he lost consciousness two or three times, we had to take him to the hospital with a panic and anxiety attack, and said that thanks to God we were young because an older guy would had probably suffered a heart attack .

Of course the two of us were suspended for the rest of trip without leaving our rooms except for eating (The professor was a friend so he forgave us after one day) but I learned my lesson, jokes are dangerous. 

Iván

illustrated wrote: gatorade,

What the hell is that????? the best way to get someone back is to ait till they are asleep then get a feather and either whipped cream or shaving foam (shaving foam is the best) then spray the foam into their hand then tickle their face with a feather then keep doing it until their face is totally covered with the foam as when youtickle them hopefully they will whip the foam all over wherever you tickle them.

A lot of you guys have suggested doing stuff while he's drunk, but the problem is that this guy doesn't drink. He has one or two times but he doesn't drink very much, so...

ivan_2068 wrote: Anybody who takes a piss in your Gatorade and lets you drink it, is not your friend, just forget him and forget revenge, because if you do something to him, he will prepare something even worst and so on, until one of you both has to suffer something really bad and ends in the hospital.

This guy is still my friend, because after he did it I didn't do 'anything' which surpised everyone, and he was really sorry and felt guilty after he did it (he also rubbed his helmet around the top of the bottle which didn't help things).

So... he's my friend, but regardless, I want to get him back in some way.

arkitek wrote: illustrated wrote: gatorade, What the hell is that????? the best way to get someone back is to ait till they are asleep then get a feather and either whipped cream or shaving foam (shaving foam is the best) then spray the foam into their hand then tickle their face with a feather then keep doing it until their face is totally covered with the foam as when youtickle them hopefully they will whip the foam all over wherever you tickle them.

Jesus, man, that's already happened to me at my friend Dave's!

I don't think it involved a feather, but I was stoned and really wanted to sleep, and found myself awake at 2:00 covered in shaving cream... in my hand, up my arm, a bit on my face, and it stung like a bitch! Those bastards were still awake too...

You guys are thinking too hard.  If he pissed in your gatorade, then just wait until he is sleeping and piss in his mouth.

Or take a sh*t on his chest.  Just don't rip ass in the process or you might wake him up.

mwb498 wrote: You guys are thinking too hard.  If he pissed in your gatorade, then just wait until he is sleeping and piss in his mouth.   Or take a sh*t on his chest.  Just don't rip ass in the process or you might wake him up.

The first one would be really, really funny... but the latter is way too over the top.

I still need more ways to get him back!

Honestly, somebody puts piss in my drink and I break all his bones, no back joke or anything similar just make him feel pain.

Iván

Sean Trane wrote: A friend once shaved off half my mustaches and beard after a sound night of drinking in my Ardennes hideout Ardennes! I woke up and spend the next four hours with half a moustache and the opposite side's beard seriously clipped! When I found out who was culprit, I waited till next night and carried him and the bed (sound asleep) in the next field where cows and two pigs were grazing. We covered with old chesses crust , old  breads and left him there.  He got finally awoken with cows and pigs all over him to eat the stuff thrown on him and a cow licking his face! I think they heard his sreams to the fourth village down the river!

God that's funny!

Wait I'm confused about something:

He pissed in your drink and then you actually drank it??

I suppose it was yellow gaterade then .

Man With Hat wrote: Wait I'm confused about something: He pissed in your drink and then you actually drank it?? I suppose it was yellow gaterade then .

Ok, ok, here's the deal...

Me and my friend went to Wendy's for lunch, and when I got back I was deciding whether or not to go to biology. So, I go to my locker and get my books and this small bottle of 'All Stars' Gatorade I had. It was a very dark purple colour as I remember.

So, I go to biology, sit next to my friend Luke. I'm sitting there, doing work or whatnot, and decide to take a swig of the gatorade. As soon as it hit my taste buds, I knew something was not-f**king-right. I spit it back into the bottle.

"I think someone pissed in my drink."

My friend thinks I'm overreacting, and says "I doubt it's piss, Nick." or something along those lines. But then he smells it and acknowledges that it smells like piss... I knew it was. It was still kind of steamy.

I pitched the gatorade and went to the washroom to wash my hands, and I used a fountain to wash my mouth out as best I could.

Later on, after biology, I found out that it was my friend Jesse who pissed in it. Stupid bastard.

illustrated wrote: Man With Hat wrote: Wait I'm confused about something: He pissed in your drink and then you actually drank it?? I suppose it was yellow gaterade then . Ok, ok, here's the deal... Me and my friend went to Wendy's for lunch, and when I got back I was deciding whether or not to go to biology. So, I go to my locker and get my books and this small bottle of 'All Stars' Gatorade I had. It was a very dark purple colour as I remember. So, I go to biology, sit next to my friend Luke. I'm sitting there, doing work or whatnot, and decide to take a swig of the gatorade. As soon as it hit my taste buds, I knew something was not-f**king-right. I spit it back into the bottle. "I think someone pissed in my drink." My friend thinks I'm overreacting, and says "I doubt it's piss, Nick." or something along those lines. But then he smells it and acknowledges that it smells like piss... I knew it was. It was still kind of steamy. I pitched the gatorade and went to the washroom to wash my hands, and I used a fountain to wash my mouth out as best I could. Later on, after biology, I found out that it was my friend Jesse who pissed in it. Stupid bastard.

Ok, at least you didn't drink it, that would have been massively over the top. It still wasn't nice though.

Anyway, assuming this "jesse" is a man, here's what i would do:

first, kick him in the crotch

Second, repeat step one

Third, One day (while he is away) sneak into his home and put twinkes and/or grapes into his mircowave. Sure it's not embarrssing or hurtful, but it makes a hell of a mess.

Alternate to step three, Sign him up for some of that trans-gender surgery they perform now-a-days, and somehow drug him and send him there (don't forget to video tape this whole transaction)  Extreme? You know it!

Anyway, who pisses in a classroom? I guess he somehow, took it, sneaked out to the bathroom, and did it there. I say there's something wrong upstairs on this boy .

Man With Hat wrote: illustrated wrote: Man With Hat wrote: Wait I'm confused about something: He pissed in your drink and then you actually drank it?? I suppose it was yellow gaterade then . Ok, ok, here's the deal... Me and my friend went to Wendy's for lunch, and when I got back I was deciding whether or not to go to biology. So, I go to my locker and get my books and this small bottle of 'All Stars' Gatorade I had. It was a very dark purple colour as I remember. So, I go to biology, sit next to my friend Luke. I'm sitting there, doing work or whatnot, and decide to take a swig of the gatorade. As soon as it hit my taste buds, I knew something was not-f**king-right. I spit it back into the bottle. "I think someone pissed in my drink." My friend thinks I'm overreacting, and says "I doubt it's piss, Nick." or something along those lines. But then he smells it and acknowledges that it smells like piss... I knew it was. It was still kind of steamy. I pitched the gatorade and went to the washroom to wash my hands, and I used a fountain to wash my mouth out as best I could. Later on, after biology, I found out that it was my friend Jesse who pissed in it. Stupid bastard. Ok, at least you didn't drink it, that would have been massively over the top. It still wasn't nice though. Anyway, assuming this "jesse" is a man, here's what i would do: first, kick him in the crotch Second, repeat step one Third, One day (while he is away) sneak into his home and put twinkes and/or grapes into his mircowave. Sure it's not embarrssing or hurtful, but it makes a hell of a mess. Alternate to step three, Sign him up for some of that trans-gender surgery they perform now-a-days, and somehow drug him and send him there (don't forget to video tape this whole transaction)  Extreme? You know it! Anyway, who pisses in a classroom? I guess he somehow, took it, sneaked out to the bathroom, and did it there. I say there's something wrong upstairs on this boy .

Haha, well he didn't piss in a classroom...

During lunch that day, someone (I think my friend Tim) dared him to take a piss in my drink. Unfortunately, I had left my locker open (which I just remembered) which is how he got my drink in the first place.. So he went to the washroom, did the deed, and put it  back where it was.

illustrated wrote: Man With Hat wrote: illustrated wrote: Man With Hat wrote: Wait I'm confused about something: He pissed in your drink and then you actually drank it?? I suppose it was yellow gaterade then . Ok, ok, here's the deal... Me and my friend went to Wendy's for lunch, and when I got back I was deciding whether or not to go to biology. So, I go to my locker and get my books and this small bottle of 'All Stars' Gatorade I had. It was a very dark purple colour as I remember. So, I go to biology, sit next to my friend Luke. I'm sitting there, doing work or whatnot, and decide to take a swig of the gatorade. As soon as it hit my taste buds, I knew something was not-f**king-right. I spit it back into the bottle. "I think someone pissed in my drink." My friend thinks I'm overreacting, and says "I doubt it's piss, Nick." or something along those lines. But then he smells it and acknowledges that it smells like piss... I knew it was. It was still kind of steamy. I pitched the gatorade and went to the washroom to wash my hands, and I used a fountain to wash my mouth out as best I could. Later on, after biology, I found out that it was my friend Jesse who pissed in it. Stupid bastard. Ok, at least you didn't drink it, that would have been massively over the top. It still wasn't nice though. Anyway, assuming this "jesse" is a man, here's what i would do: first, kick him in the crotch Second, repeat step one Third, One day (while he is away) sneak into his home and put twinkes and/or grapes into his mircowave. Sure it's not embarrssing or hurtful, but it makes a hell of a mess. Alternate to step three, Sign him up for some of that trans-gender surgery they perform now-a-days, and somehow drug him and send him there (don't forget to video tape this whole transaction)  Extreme? You know it! Anyway, who pisses in a classroom? I guess he somehow, took it, sneaked out to the bathroom, and did it there. I say there's something wrong upstairs on this boy . Haha, well he didn't piss in a classroom... During lunch that day, someone (I think my friend Tim) dared him to take a piss in my drink. Unfortunately, I had left my locker open (which I just remembered) which is how he got my drink in the first place.. So he went to the washroom, did the deed, and put it  back where it was.

I wish i had your friends as mine 

Man With Hat wrote: illustrated wrote: Man With Hat wrote: illustrated wrote: Man With Hat wrote: Wait I'm confused about something: He pissed in your drink and then you actually drank it?? I suppose it was yellow gaterade then . Ok, ok, here's the deal... Me and my friend went to Wendy's for lunch, and when I got back I was deciding whether or not to go to biology. So, I go to my locker and get my books and this small bottle of 'All Stars' Gatorade I had. It was a very dark purple colour as I remember. So, I go to biology, sit next to my friend Luke. I'm sitting there, doing work or whatnot, and decide to take a swig of the gatorade. As soon as it hit my taste buds, I knew something was not-f**king-right. I spit it back into the bottle. "I think someone pissed in my drink." My friend thinks I'm overreacting, and says "I doubt it's piss, Nick." or something along those lines. But then he smells it and acknowledges that it smells like piss... I knew it was. It was still kind of steamy. I pitched the gatorade and went to the washroom to wash my hands, and I used a fountain to wash my mouth out as best I could. Later on, after biology, I found out that it was my friend Jesse who pissed in it. Stupid bastard. Ok, at least you didn't drink it, that would have been massively over the top. It still wasn't nice though. Anyway, assuming this "jesse" is a man, here's what i would do: first, kick him in the crotch Second, repeat step one Third, One day (while he is away) sneak into his home and put twinkes and/or grapes into his mircowave. Sure it's not embarrssing or hurtful, but it makes a hell of a mess. Alternate to step three, Sign him up for some of that trans-gender surgery they perform now-a-days, and somehow drug him and send him there (don't forget to video tape this whole transaction)  Extreme? You know it! Anyway, who pisses in a classroom? I guess he somehow, took it, sneaked out to the bathroom, and did it there. I say there's something wrong upstairs on this boy . Haha, well he didn't piss in a classroom... During lunch that day, someone (I think my friend Tim) dared him to take a piss in my drink. Unfortunately, I had left my locker open (which I just remembered) which is how he got my drink in the first place.. So he went to the washroom, did the deed, and put it  back where it was. I wish i had your friends as mine

No kidding.

I have laughed more reading this than any thread I've seen in a good while. Sadly though, the reality of this situation is truly not funny. Nor was your so-called friend's antics a joke. It was sick and vindictive and not funny at all. I agree with Ivan's first response which basically said that this person is not your friend. People like that spawned the age old saying, with friends like that who needs enemies.

Surely, there are people you can hang out with that won't expect you to drink piss to be their friend. Find them.

As for revenge, it may be fun, and deserved, but Ivan was right on that point too. It could lead to an endless circle of harmful and perhaps dangerous events.

Your call. I recommend you cut your losses and move on.

Raymon7174 wrote: I have laughed more reading this than any thread I've seen in a good while. Sadly though, the reality of this situation is truly not funny. Nor was your so-called friend's antics a joke. It was sick and vindictive and not funny at all. I agree with Ivan's first response which basically said that this person is not your friend. People like that spawned the age old saying, with friends like that who needs enemies. Surely, there are people you can hang out with that won't expect you to drink piss to be their friend. Find them. As for revenge, it may be fun, and deserved, but Ivan was right on that point too. It could lead to an endless circle of harmful and perhaps dangerous events. Your call. I recommend you cut your losses and move on.

Well, I'm not sure. I actually do consider him as a friend. I don't think he meant it to be really malicious when he did it, but a lot of people definitely thought it was over the top.

I'm not pissed off about it at this point, but it gives me reason to do something funny to him.

...I'm having trouble thinking of what though... even with all the suggestions.

frenchie wrote: ULTIMATE REVENGE: get one of those trays that you put water into and freeze to make ice cubes for your drinks, fill them 1/3rd full of water, and then EJACULATE into as many squares as you can, freeze em and the cum wont be detectable as it jus looks like frozen water. serve them in his drink and hey presto! just dont leave the ice cubes around for your mum to find!

O man, that is one of the funnist things i've heard in a while. Also, very VERY effective.

prog_luker_420 wrote: maybe you should sh*t on his porch

Shutup Dave.

Spanky wrote: You haven't gotten him back yet have you?

Nope. I still don't know what I should do.

Joren wrote: play Magma or Captain Beefheart for him. He'll go nuts.

Haha, well considering he loves METALLICA, that's probably true.

frenchie wrote: AlistairisGod wrote: nice job illustrated. DRUGS RULE OR people who are on drugs are so off their faces that they think drugs rule. So yeah, your statement is pretty accurate, as with all people who think anything rules. isn't it funny how the queen of england doesn't rule yet a monarch surely should rule! DAMN GOVERNEMENT!!!

What are YOU on?