101 Rules of Prog Metal
Printed From: Progarchives.com
Category: Topics not related to music
Forum Name: Just for Fun
Forum Description: Participate in trivia and knowledge games, share jokes, etc.
URL: http://www.progarchives.com/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=54872
Printed Date: December 02 2024 at 05:27
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Topic: 101 Rules of Prog Metal
Posted By: horsewithteeth11
Subject: 101 Rules of Prog Metal
Date Posted: January 18 2009 at 22:51
My brother showed me this list today, so I though I would share it with everyone. Hilarious stuff. http://www.metalstorm.ee/pub/fun_comments.php?fun_id=3 - http://www.metalstorm.ee/pub/fun_comments.php?fun_id=3 ------------- 
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Replies:
Posted By: Queen By-Tor
Date Posted: January 18 2009 at 23:00
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1. Insist that your definition of prog metal is sacred and that the only progressive bands are the one you deem to be so. 2. Accuse anyone who disagrees with you regarding rule 1 of lacking musical intelligence and not being a true prog fan. done |
Posted By: Jozef
Date Posted: January 18 2009 at 23:21
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23. Accuse any prog metal musician that cuts his hair of selling out. 92. Buy new albums from past prog-greats. 93. When they turn out to be crap and nothing like the old albums, hit yourself in the head with a hammer until you like them. ------------- 
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Posted By: TheCaptain
Date Posted: January 18 2009 at 23:24
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I'm pretty sure most of that refers to prog in general.
------------- Curse your sudden but inevitable betrayal. |
Posted By: Luke. J
Date Posted: January 19 2009 at 01:22
It's old, but still worth a laugh 
Happy that some prog metal fans don't take themselves too serious..
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Posted By: Jake Kobrin
Date Posted: January 19 2009 at 02:07
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Oh my god, that's so funny and soooooooo true hahaha... 23. Accuse any prog metal musician that cuts his hair of selling out. psst... Mendez ... 51. Tool is NOT prog. If anyone insists they are, kill them. I'm prepared to get killed...  56. The best songs are those that are over 15 minutes, have multiple named sections, and have solos by everyone in the band INCLUDING the drummer 61. Drummers: Huge kits are MANDATORY!!!! If all you have is a 4-piece with 3 crappy cymbals, then you don´t belong on stage. A 5-piece single bass drum kit is the bare minimum and even that´s on the edges of bare bones. If you have a tiny kit BUY MORE DRUMS AND CYMBALS!!!!!!! 73. Play air-drums or air-guitar at concerts. This will make sure that other prog fans recognize your immense talent. 78. If anyone says PF are prog, kindly refer them to rule 1 while you prepare to do a "Varg", so to say. 80. Make sure your album cover contains either a psychedelic computer-drawn image, a lavish painting with mythological figures, or is illustrated by Travis Smith. hahaha... damn, Travis gets soooooooo much work... it's not fair.  91. BOOOM!!! ------------- http://www.facebook.com/pages/Dr-Neil-Kobrin/244687105562746" rel="nofollow - SUPPORT MY FATHER AND BECOME A FAN Jacob Kobrin Illustration |
Posted By: The Pessimist
Date Posted: January 19 2009 at 10:39
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6. When showcasing a new prog metal band to a non-musician friend, put
on the most technically difficult song, and skip directly to the solo
part. I do that 28. Be able to mention 20 bands noone has heard of, not even true prog fans. Own no releases of these bands. And that ------------- "Market value is irrelevant to intrinsic value." Arnold Schoenberg |
Posted By: Toaster Mantis
Date Posted: January 19 2009 at 12:21
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I thought of posting this, but figured most people here would find the list more insulting than funny. I also think this one is for prog in general, because I'm thinking of making my own for those as there's a lot of non-metallic prog rock clichés that I can't find on that one. ------------- "The past is not some static being, it is not a previous present, nor a present that has passed away; the past has its own dynamic being which is constantly renewed and renewing." - Claire Colebrook |
Posted By: mrcozdude
Date Posted: January 19 2009 at 16:27
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Insist the next album with be more technical and heavier. ------------- http://www.last.fm/user/cozfunkel/" rel="nofollow"> 
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