Apology to Everyone Here
Printed From: Progarchives.com
Category: Other music related lounges
Forum Name: Get The Word Out
Forum Description: Promote your Prog shop, website, concert, book or CD...
URL: http://www.progarchives.com/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=52759
Printed Date: November 22 2024 at 01:29
Software Version: Web Wiz Forums 11.01 - http://www.webwizforums.com
Topic: Apology to Everyone Here
Posted By: Avantgardehead
Subject: Apology to Everyone Here
Date Posted: October 22 2008 at 03:37
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To the users of this forum, Hello! This is Dianne Markopolis of Internet Character Solutions, Inc. We were contacted a year ago by the administration of this forum regarding our services as a supplier of paid actors to play characters on Internet message-boards to spice things up, if you will. Things didn't go so well as the happy-go-lucky prog fan "Avantgardehead" didn't attract much attention and no significant increase in traffic was measured. So we met with the actor to discuss some new directions and we decided on changing "Avantgardehead"'s musical tastes to create some shock and conflict. That didn't work either, but there was a contingency... We were notified that the heavy metal band "Metallica" was going to be added to the database here and saw the perfect opportunity for an angle for "Avantgardehead" and couldn't pass it up. While the new direction worked for a while, the actor and administration here expressed disappointment in the lack of any palpable results. Rather than exploding with fury or giving-in to insults, people simply ignored the character. So the actor has been reassigned to one of our other clients and the character "Avantgardehead" will not disturb this forum again. Your security deposit will be returned in at least 30 days and we wish you well in your endeavors as an Internet forum manager! Sincerely, Dianne Markopolis - Customer Relations Manager, ICS Inc. |
Replies:
Posted By: Rocktopus
Date Posted: October 22 2008 at 03:59
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What? Well, I always thought Avantgardehead was an annoying idiot, if that's any comfort. ------------- Over land and under ashes In the sunlight, see - it flashes Find a fly and eat his eye But don't believe in me Don't believe in me Don't believe in me |
Posted By: Chris S
Date Posted: October 22 2008 at 04:15
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^Well hopefully he/she will come back. A quirky sense of humour indeed and a great taste for the alternative sounds too..... ------------- ...As I venture through the slipstream, between the viaducts in your dreams...[/COLOR] |
Posted By: Vompatti
Date Posted: October 22 2008 at 04:32
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I've never even heard of Avantgardehead (maybe he or she didn't hang
around in the Just for Fun -section?) but I'd like to take this
opportunity to announce that I'm a paid actor as well. To tell you the
truth I haven't heard any of the albums listed on this site. So, even
if I may appear to be a prog fan, the truth is that I mainly listen to
Art Garfunkel's solo albums. Unlike Avantgardehead, however, I will keep appearing again on this forum. Insincerely, Vompatti - Prog Forum Actor, Prog Forum Actors Ltd. |
Posted By: Jared
Date Posted: October 22 2008 at 04:59
^^and I have to say that his 'antics' have completely passed me by, because his presence on this forum has scarcely even registered in my consciousness...
all I will say is that if anyone decides to leave this forum, thereby severing ties with friends made, and access to an accumulated wealth of progressive knowledge and inspiration, purely on the strength of the addition of one band into 'prog-related', then they clearly have their priorities askew...  ------------- Music has always been a matter of energy to me. On some nights I believe that a car with the needle on empty can run 50 more miles if you have the right music very loud on the radio. Hunter S Thompson |
Posted By: Rocktopus
Date Posted: October 22 2008 at 05:04
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Ha-ha. This is fun. Finally this Avantgardehead character's having some success here.
I've managed to insult and create more conflict than this actor here, for free! I (and several others, now known as guest) must have a natural gift for these things. ------------- Over land and under ashes In the sunlight, see - it flashes Find a fly and eat his eye But don't believe in me Don't believe in me Don't believe in me |
Posted By: Atavachron
Date Posted: October 22 2008 at 05:31
| well if it's confession time, perhaps this would be a good opportunity to mention I'm an Aboriginal woman living in western Australia |
Posted By: Visitor13
Date Posted: October 22 2008 at 05:39
Kinda hard to believe given the chilling reality of your post at the end of this page: http://www.progarchives.com/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=52554&PN=5 - http://www.progarchives.com/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=52554&PN=5 |
Atavachron wrote:Posted By: npjnpj
Date Posted: October 22 2008 at 05:50
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This is a wind-up. The whole thing has a surreal aura.
And if it was real, the posts of this Avantgardehead character were a piss-poor job. Whatever he/she was paid, it was too much.
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Posted By: Atavachron
Date Posted: October 22 2008 at 05:59
  |
Posted By: Rivertree
Date Posted: October 22 2008 at 06:12
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now is there somebody else who wants to lift his coat? ------------- https://awesomeprog.com/users/Rivertree" rel="nofollow">  |
Posted By: Man Erg
Date Posted: October 22 2008 at 06:24
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This is a ruse.
I'll wager that there is no such company as 'Internet Character Solutions Inc.' If there is I'll eat my head-dress. Respectfully yours 'HRH The King of Tonga.' ------------- 
Do 'The Stanley' otherwise I'll thrash you with some rhubarb. |
Posted By: MikeEnRegalia
Date Posted: October 22 2008 at 06:31
^ of course there isn't. Even if there was, this forum is already full of so many "spiceful" characters, why would anyone even think about hiring paid characters?
------------- https://awesomeprog.com/users/Mike" rel="nofollow">Recently listened to: 
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Posted By: chopper
Date Posted: October 22 2008 at 08:35
Blimey Lee, I never realised you were royalty.
No you're right, a quick Google of the name reveals no such organisation.
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Posted By: Visitor13
Date Posted: October 22 2008 at 08:45
| Hi, I'm Troy McClure. |
Posted By: Vibrationbaby
Date Posted: October 22 2008 at 10:56
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I`m Perry Como.
------------- |
Posted By: Tony R
Date Posted: October 22 2008 at 11:16
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Hi, I'm TotallySick of Troublemakers. Gonna round me up a hanging party.... |
Posted By: Chris H
Date Posted: October 22 2008 at 11:27
Can I have your autograph?
I do love mambo... ------------- Beauty will save the world. 
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Posted By: Man Erg
Date Posted: October 22 2008 at 11:50
What did Delaware, Perry?  -------------
Do 'The Stanley' otherwise I'll thrash you with some rhubarb. |
Posted By: Raff
Date Posted: October 22 2008 at 12:26
Pardon my French, but.... WTF?!?
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Posted By: Padraic
Date Posted: October 22 2008 at 12:28
It's a more clever "I'm leaving" thread than most, you must admit. |
Posted By: debrewguy
Date Posted: October 22 2008 at 12:52
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For myself, And i know this will be shocking to some, but I have to admit that I am really an overblown & rambling writer of too long missives. My real name, is Foghorn Leghorn,not debrewguy, and I am a windbag, powered by a solar sex panel. Now, I must ask, nay, plead, that other PA characters not reveal their true nature and depart as fake snobbery and made up intellectualism are a necessary part of music discussions. If we can't be who we aren't then what are the point of avatars and nicknames. I know this is starting to get long, and those who know me, even if you don't read the entirety of my posts, well, you know I don't have to be told twice that I should edit or cut short a thread. If I did, I'd be the first to apologise. But I'm just so curious as to who else is not being their actual self here at PA. I mean, if you can' t trust people you meet on the internet, who can you. Trust, that is. I for one, try and be as translucent as possible and oblique whenever necessary so as not to obfuscate my whizbang wisdumbs, no matter how nimble I am. Now where was I ? Oh yeah. As you see from my signature from this guy I googled on the web, I figure if you can't get your message across in a few words, then you have no idea what the other guy is going to understand. ------------- "Here I am talking to some of the smartest people in the world and I didn't even notice,” Lieutenant Columbo, episode The Bye-Bye Sky-High I.Q. Murder Case. |
Posted By: Ricochet
Date Posted: October 22 2008 at 13:31
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If Avantgardhead had the courage to deconspire his true identity and plans, well: (this is very hard to confess...) I'm Mandrakeroot!!!!  ------------- 
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Posted By: micky
Date Posted: October 22 2008 at 13:43
*spills Diet Coke upon himself* never saw that coming... must have been the lack of a pregnant woman as an avatar that threw me ------------- The Pedro and Micky Experience - When one no longer requires psychotropics to trip |
Posted By: Padraic
Date Posted: October 22 2008 at 14:06
Avatar? Pshh, that's nothin' - I have one actually living in my house!! |
Posted By: The T
Date Posted: October 22 2008 at 14:16
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Ok... this is too much/.... time for confessions....
My name is Mike Portnoy and I used to drink a lot. One of those nights I logged in here and read some sh*t said about my ultra-fantastic band. I decided to teach these b*****ds a lesson (the alcohol really did it) and I created this phony name with the most relevant letter of my last name (or so I though when I was drunk)...
Since that night, I've barely managed to live up to my intentions. I've had serioos problems with the italian crowds who continue to dismiss my ultra-fantastic band...
My revenge has come in a different way: by gradually manipulating people's minds, I've finally managed to turn this rather boring website full of 70's sh*t into a metal community with trillions of bands that play music exactly copied from that of my ultra-fantastic band and also other bands I love like Metallica and Hottie and the Blowfish (well, I'm working on that one)....
So, you naysayers, go on talking about my ultra-fantastic band.... I'll make this damn website be a pure metal-community.. give me one more year and I'll have you all italian-"avan-garde" lovers running for your life!
In the meantime, I'll have another drink while I go on to write album number ten... which will be a conceptual album about Micky and the Magnificent Cosmic Battle for Supremacy...
Yours truly,
Mike PorTnoy... ------------- 
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Posted By: Raff
Date Posted: October 22 2008 at 14:31
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You mean Porntoy?
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Posted By: febus
Date Posted: October 22 2008 at 14:33
I knew it, i knew it!! 
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Posted By: micky
Date Posted: October 22 2008 at 14:34
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hahhahaha.. I knew it as well ------------- The Pedro and Micky Experience - When one no longer requires psychotropics to trip |
Posted By: Ricochet
Date Posted: October 22 2008 at 15:03
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I didn't.
-------------
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Posted By: Syzygy
Date Posted: October 22 2008 at 18:18
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I'm Spartacus!
------------- 'Like so many of you I've got my doubts about how much to contribute to the already rich among us...' Robert Wyatt, Gloria Gloom |
Posted By: micky
Date Posted: October 22 2008 at 18:34
hahhaha... that it is by the way since we are in the confession mode here... I know nothing of prog rock myself.... I don't even listen to it that much... I love AC/DC, Barbara Streisand, and Duran Duran. I came here because I heard Prog chicks are really hot ... so I came over to PA to look for some hot prog chicks.. somehow got made a Special Collaborator.. without ever writing a review... decided to stick around and see how long I could fool people. ------------- The Pedro and Micky Experience - When one no longer requires psychotropics to trip |
Posted By: rushfan4
Date Posted: October 22 2008 at 18:40
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That explains a lot. ------------- 
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Posted By: micky
Date Posted: October 22 2008 at 18:44
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it does doesn't it
------------- The Pedro and Micky Experience - When one no longer requires psychotropics to trip |
Posted By: debrewguy
Date Posted: October 22 2008 at 19:44
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I suppose next we'll have one of PA's resident experts coming out and stating they are actually Sgt Schultz -" I see nothing, I hear nothing, I know nothing !' Which would explain certain highly rated Zeuhl albums
------------- "Here I am talking to some of the smartest people in the world and I didn't even notice,” Lieutenant Columbo, episode The Bye-Bye Sky-High I.Q. Murder Case. |
Posted By: Man Erg
Date Posted: October 23 2008 at 04:42
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I'm Lord Lucan. -------------
Do 'The Stanley' otherwise I'll thrash you with some rhubarb. |
Posted By: Chris S
Date Posted: October 23 2008 at 04:58
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My real name is Peter Griffin but you can just call me ' Peter Griffin'............. ------------- ...As I venture through the slipstream, between the viaducts in your dreams...[/COLOR] |
Posted By: Jim Garten
Date Posted: October 23 2008 at 07:22
And I'm your childrens' nanny  ------------- 
Jon Lord 1941 - 2012 |
Posted By: b_olariu
Date Posted: October 23 2008 at 08:00
Man, you don't have anything better to do. I was shocked what i saw here. If The T is Portnoy and has his ultra fantastic band i'm Bugs Bunny .
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Posted By: chopper
Date Posted: October 23 2008 at 08:33
Nice one. |
Posted By: Jared
Date Posted: October 23 2008 at 08:49
Nice one.don't encourage him, Alan...we've never been fooled...
 treating this place like a social club and dating agency...
------------- Music has always been a matter of energy to me. On some nights I believe that a car with the needle on empty can run 50 more miles if you have the right music very loud on the radio. Hunter S Thompson |
Posted By: TGM: Orb
Date Posted: October 23 2008 at 09:29
I knew you had an ulterior motive for not liking Genesis |
Posted By: Visitor13
Date Posted: October 23 2008 at 12:37
I'm Spartacus! |
Posted By: rushfan4
Date Posted: October 23 2008 at 13:02
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I'm Batman. -------------
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Posted By: The T
Date Posted: October 23 2008 at 13:05
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so....did you know that Micky is really James Labrie in disguise? It's all a little scam that we've been playing for all of you... I'm the alpha, he's the omega, but we're both in the same team after all of this is said and done....
And you see? It's working! Check the number of additions in prog-metal plus recent controversial addition... Oh... The ProgMetal-archives.com dream of my Max and Melody is becoming a reality.. I promised them I'd have a website just for them when they were born.. well my girls, we're more than halfway through!
My dogs, Bongo and Sharkey, are also jumping in happiness... All these years of bearing me and my extra drinks are starting to pay off... -------------
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Posted By: Rocktopus
Date Posted: October 23 2008 at 13:57
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Ok. The twentieth version of the same joke isn't as funny as the two or three first.
------------- Over land and under ashes In the sunlight, see - it flashes Find a fly and eat his eye But don't believe in me Don't believe in me Don't believe in me |
Posted By: The T
Date Posted: October 23 2008 at 14:44
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^Even less funny is knowing that, and keep coming here to see if the 21st version of the joke is LESS funny.... -------------
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Posted By: Alucard
Date Posted: October 23 2008 at 14:47
in fact Dianne Markopoulos has a small consulting office in Seattle and works mainly on statics of Progressive record sales in Greenland. She likes tea and is very fond of her vintage vynyl edition of 'Bongo Fury'.
you can contact her at :
mailto:[email protected] - [email protected]
------------- Tadpoles keep screaming in my ear "Hey there! Rotter's Club! Explain the meaning of this song and share it" |
Posted By: Rocktopus
Date Posted: October 23 2008 at 14:52
How was I supposed to know you were still telling the same joke? Btw: Alucard's joke is fresh ------------- Over land and under ashes In the sunlight, see - it flashes Find a fly and eat his eye But don't believe in me Don't believe in me Don't believe in me |
Posted By: The T
Date Posted: October 23 2008 at 15:09
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^Like a wave of fresh air... Oh I feel so... refreshed....
-------------
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Posted By: Dean
Date Posted: October 23 2008 at 19:39
I love it when a plan comes together  ------------- What? |
Posted By: Atavachron
Date Posted: October 23 2008 at 19:49
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how about an 'Apology to Everyone Here' for starting this never-ending thread |
Posted By: Petrovsk Mizinski
Date Posted: October 23 2008 at 22:42
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Apologies to everyone Apologies to everyone Apologies to everyone Apologies to everyone Apologies to everyone Apologies to everyone Apologies to everyone Apologies to everyone And now, I need to figure out why I'm apologizing. ------------- 
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Posted By: Queen By-Tor
Date Posted: October 23 2008 at 23:18
| ^^^ For apologizing too much |
Posted By: Slartibartfast
Date Posted: October 24 2008 at 06:15
No realli! She was Karving her initials øn the møøse with the sharpened end We apologise for the fault in the We apologise again for the fault in the ------------- Released date are often when it it impacted you but recorded dates are when it really happened... 
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Posted By: Vompatti
Date Posted: October 24 2008 at 06:19
| I lied on the first page when I said I was an actor. To tell you the truth I'm really http://i37.photobucket.com/albums/e78/robyunioshi/hoff.gif - David Hasselhoff . |
Posted By: Slartibartfast
Date Posted: October 24 2008 at 06:23
I'm so sorry about that, here have a burger.  ------------- Released date are often when it it impacted you but recorded dates are when it really happened...
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Posted By: npjnpj
Date Posted: October 24 2008 at 08:01
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I'm npjnpj (my parents were weird). I'm just over 4 feet tall with weight problems, skin like a lizard, and bushy hair over my ears that I've braided and that stick up like antennae. I like to dress like Adam Ant. In the streets you wouldn't recognize me. The worst thing about me is my breath; it melts nuclear power plants. But I don't care because that's the beauty of the net: I can come in here, troll around and insult all of you because, as you don't know where I live, you can't come around and hit me. That's why I'm so very brave.
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Posted By: russellk
Date Posted: October 24 2008 at 15:11
Somebody's been watching 'Monty Python and the Holy Grail' again, haven't they? You know what happens when you do that, Mr. Fast. Tsk. Give him his medication, Mr Parsloe. |
Posted By: memowakeman
Date Posted: October 25 2008 at 09:32
 ------------- Follow me on twitter @memowakeman |