Vompatti's Art on Request Service
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Topic: Vompatti's Art on Request Service
Posted By: Vompatti
Subject: Vompatti's Art on Request Service
Date Posted: August 14 2008 at 14:24
| As most of you probably know, I'm not only a brilliant writer, but also a truly spectacular artist. The only problem is that I'm totally out of ideas. This is why I'm going to offer you an unique opportunity to suggest me what I should paint next. I will do my best and post the results here. They cost you nothing and are guaranteedly worth the price. |
Replies:
Posted By: crimhead
Date Posted: August 14 2008 at 14:54
| Robert Fripp's signature/autograph |
Posted By: Vompatti
Date Posted: August 14 2008 at 14:59
But it won't be Robert Fripp's if I do it! (I'm not Robert Fripp.) |
crimhead wrote:Posted By: YesFan72
Date Posted: August 14 2008 at 15:38
|
Henry Cow-style sock!
------------- 
|
Posted By: Vompatti
Date Posted: August 14 2008 at 15:40
One sock, comin' right up.  |
Posted By: rushfan4
Date Posted: August 14 2008 at 15:40
|
How about a Golf Girl in the Land of Grey and Pink? ------------- 
|
Posted By: crimhead
Date Posted: August 14 2008 at 15:43
true but it would be an reasonable likeness......that is if you have ever seen his signature. |
Posted By: Vompatti
Date Posted: August 14 2008 at 15:51
I haven't, so I'd have to improvise, and it's probably better if I won't. |
Posted By: Vompatti
Date Posted: August 14 2008 at 16:23
Here's the best I could do. Notice the cups of tea on the table. (I just noticed it seems to be one of those modern tables that only have one leg on each side.)  |
Posted By: rushfan4
Date Posted: August 14 2008 at 16:25
|
The cups of tea are a nice touch!!! -------------
|
Posted By: rushfan4
Date Posted: August 14 2008 at 16:35
|
How about next up you paint a picture of wombats participating in the Olympics? -------------
|
Posted By: Vompatti
Date Posted: August 14 2008 at 17:08
What sport? I'm thinking high jump. Or maybe badminton. |
Posted By: rileydog22
Date Posted: August 14 2008 at 17:12
|
Curling.
-------------   |
Posted By: rushfan4
Date Posted: August 14 2008 at 17:26
|
Maybe something like synchronized diving. Or maybe a team sport like soccer or water polo. -------------
|
Posted By: progaeopteryx
Date Posted: August 14 2008 at 19:18
| I would like to recommend a dirigible squeezing through a hole while eating soap pans dipped in highly contagious corn syrup. The tail section of the dirigible is made of tungsten and sugar. The sky is inverted and there are rings of bologna floating in the air. In the corner of the picture is a stationary fart. |
Posted By: Vompatti
Date Posted: August 15 2008 at 03:33
| I'll take these suggestions into consideration and execute them next week. |
Posted By: Vompatti
Date Posted: August 17 2008 at 08:52
The Olympic art series, including pole vault, badminton, curling and synchronized diving, is now complete. I decided to make use of the wombat I'd already drawn:    |
Posted By: Vompatti
Date Posted: August 17 2008 at 08:54
The biggest challenge in this daunting task was not to make the dirigible look like a penis. I think the result is rather impressive:  |
Posted By: rushfan4
Date Posted: August 18 2008 at 11:39
Vompatti, You have outdone yourself.  Gold medal worthy. -------------
|
Posted By: Vompatti
Date Posted: August 18 2008 at 12:35
Notice how the deliberately missing shuttlecock delicately creates a captivatingly mysterious atmosphere to the badminton picture. 
|
Posted By: Toaster Mantis
Date Posted: August 18 2008 at 17:03
The dirigible looks like a fish.  Now, I challenge you to paint the spaceships of the alien intelligences that are the overlords of the UFO! ------------- "The past is not some static being, it is not a previous present, nor a present that has passed away; the past has its own dynamic being which is constantly renewed and renewing." - Claire Colebrook |
Posted By: Vompatti
Date Posted: August 18 2008 at 17:22
The UFO's are the glowing green ones and the spaceships of the alien intelligences that are the overlords of the UFO are the white ones. You can see they're the overlords of the UFO by the fact that they're above them. |
Posted By: Toaster Mantis
Date Posted: August 18 2008 at 17:24
|
You, sir, rule.
------------- "The past is not some static being, it is not a previous present, nor a present that has passed away; the past has its own dynamic being which is constantly renewed and renewing." - Claire Colebrook |
Posted By: Shakespeare
Date Posted: August 18 2008 at 22:35
|
I would like to see an aesthetic representation of the void other than pure blackness or pure whiteness.
As much a painting challenge as a philosophical one. 
|
Posted By: Vompatti
Date Posted: August 19 2008 at 05:30
And here it is. I hope you don't mind that the void isn't actually in the picture, but behind it. Or, to be exact, the void doesn't exist in any particular place (as the void is what doesn't exist), but can be grasped through the following image:  |
Posted By: Shakespeare
Date Posted: August 19 2008 at 14:23
Gwah.
|
Posted By: crimhead
Date Posted: August 19 2008 at 14:30
| How about 5 dogs playing poker on a velvet canvas? |
Posted By: Vompatti
Date Posted: August 19 2008 at 16:52
Here you go. It's not a velvet canvas though, it's a cotton one:  |
Posted By: laplace
Date Posted: August 19 2008 at 17:00
|
this is a great thread =)
may I commission two movie theatres hugging? with the stipulation that they have noticeable gender identifiers? ------------- FREEDOM OF SPEECH GO TO HELL |
Posted By: Vompatti
Date Posted: August 20 2008 at 03:10
As you can see, movie theatres have very long and skinny hands for the simple reason that they enjoy clasping each other from a long distance: |
Posted By: rushfan4
Date Posted: August 20 2008 at 09:41
|
It appears that a painting of Vompatti having his birthday cake and eating it too would be in order for today. Happy Birthday!!!! -------------
|
Posted By: Vompatti
Date Posted: August 20 2008 at 11:11
Here's me reaching for my birthday cake: |
Posted By: rileydog22
Date Posted: August 20 2008 at 12:48
|
Only five candles? I always pictured you as older than that.
------------- |
Posted By: Vompatti
Date Posted: August 20 2008 at 13:01
Isn't it obvious that the rest of the candles are behind the five candles and thus cannot be seen? |
Posted By: crimhead
Date Posted: August 20 2008 at 14:11
Excellent!! But how do I go about hanging it on my wall? My monitor keeps becoming unplugged whenever I move it. |
Posted By: Vompatti
Date Posted: August 20 2008 at 14:17
| ^ Isn't that what they make laptops for? |
Posted By: crimhead
Date Posted: August 20 2008 at 14:25
true but I would have to keep it plugged in and then you got the whole thing with the HD eventually will fail in it. I won't even get into the fact that the laptop wouldn't match the decor of my room. |
Posted By: Vompatti
Date Posted: August 20 2008 at 14:33
| The decoration problem can easily be solved by painting the laptop (except for the screen, of course) transparent. |
Posted By: crimhead
Date Posted: August 20 2008 at 14:34
| Where can I get some transparent paint? I checked my local hardware store and they don't stock it. |
Posted By: Vompatti
Date Posted: August 20 2008 at 14:37
| Oh I'm sure they do, but it may be hard to find it. |
Posted By: progaeopteryx
Date Posted: August 20 2008 at 22:03
I'm speechless! This is remarkable!
|
Posted By: crimhead
Date Posted: September 10 2008 at 13:21
| So what ever became of this. Any gallery showings? Any offerings of work for sale through a auction house? |
Posted By: Vompatti
Date Posted: September 10 2008 at 13:46
^ No money, no fame, no nothing. It seems my webpage is down again, so you can't even see the pictures anymore.  But if they ever get their server going and if you'd like to hang my art on your wall, feel free to print them yourself and send my some money. (Or a lot of money, if you wish.)  |
Posted By: crimhead
Date Posted: September 10 2008 at 15:20
Webpage is down? Hmmmmmmm. It appears that the powers of the interwebz are trying to hold you down and not allow your works of art to be seen by the masses. |
Posted By: Tapfret
Date Posted: September 11 2008 at 01:12
|
I would like you to draw Wonder Woman in her invisible plane trying to shoot down a Pegasus ridden by Paris Hilton. She is on a strafing run, misses Pegasus/Paris and hits a village of druids on the ground setting their grass huts on fire causing Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt to run away with the baby they just bought..er...adopted from them.
------------- https://www.last.fm/user/Tapfret" rel="nofollow">  https://bandcamp.com/tapfret" rel="nofollow - Bandcamp |
Posted By: Vompatti
Date Posted: September 11 2008 at 02:25
Here it is. Obviously you can't see the invisible plane, mainly because its invisible. |
Posted By: Tapfret
Date Posted: September 11 2008 at 12:31
|
That's right, but everything else is visible. But you prototype plane sketch is spot on. ------------- https://www.last.fm/user/Tapfret" rel="nofollow"> https://bandcamp.com/tapfret" rel="nofollow - Bandcamp |
Posted By: Vompatti
Date Posted: September 11 2008 at 12:41
|
Everything else is supposed to be visible, but my webpage seems to have disappeared for good. Even my cool wombat signature is gone.
|
Posted By: Tapfret
Date Posted: September 11 2008 at 14:19
|
Aha, there it is. Your host must have taken a nap. That is totally Paris, you can almost hear her saying "That's Hot" as she looks at the burning hut.
------------- https://www.last.fm/user/Tapfret" rel="nofollow"> https://bandcamp.com/tapfret" rel="nofollow - Bandcamp |
Posted By: Vompatti
Date Posted: September 11 2008 at 15:09
| Since you will probably never see the picture, you have to rely on my word that it's a magnificient piece of art. Paris is even wearing a skirt. |
Posted By: Tapfret
Date Posted: September 11 2008 at 15:27
|
I did see it, it showed up last check, but its one again now.
------------- https://www.last.fm/user/Tapfret" rel="nofollow"> https://bandcamp.com/tapfret" rel="nofollow - Bandcamp |
Posted By: Vompatti
Date Posted: September 11 2008 at 17:22
| It's back again, and so is the sig. But I wonder how long? |
Posted By: Vompatti
Date Posted: September 14 2008 at 13:40
Nobody asked for this one, but I did it anyway. It's called "If Zappa had eaten massive amounts of potato chips, this is how it would have looked like": |
Posted By: crimhead
Date Posted: September 14 2008 at 14:10
nice.. I can see it. |
Posted By: Vompatti
Date Posted: October 28 2008 at 15:31
|
My webpage is still gone and the pictures with it, but here's a new idea: I recently started a rather awesome http://vompattispoetry.blogspot.com/ - poetry blog , but so far there are hardly any poems in it because I haven't thought of anything worth writing about. So, if you can think of an interesting subject for a poem, make your suggestion here and I'll write the poem and put it in my blog. Ps. I write this stuff for free, but if you'd like to give me money anyway I don't mind. |
Posted By: Vompatti
Date Posted: October 29 2008 at 03:03
| No one interested? May I note that Shakespeare never did this, and even if he did, I can do it better and for free. |
Posted By: Vompatti
Date Posted: November 04 2008 at 17:32
http://vompattispoetry.blogspot.com/ - Here's the poem you requested. |
Posted By: rushfan4
Date Posted: July 09 2009 at 12:09
|
Apparently this establishment has fallen on hard times and been effected by the world economy as much as any other art studio. -------------
|
Posted By: Vompatti
Date Posted: July 09 2009 at 12:21
You're right, I forgot all about this during the economy crisis. I guess I could start a blog for this purpose if anyone's still interested. |
Posted By: rushfan4
Date Posted: July 09 2009 at 12:31
|
Recent discussion regarding Yes' Circus of Heaven made me think that it would be cool to see a visual depiction of the scene set out in the song. -------------
|
Posted By: Vompatti
Date Posted: July 09 2009 at 12:40
I'll start working on it once I've lost this game of poker. |
Posted By: harmonium.ro
Date Posted: July 09 2009 at 12:43
Were there any pictures ever posted in this thread? 
|
Posted By: Vompatti
Date Posted: July 09 2009 at 12:45
Yes, but something happened to the server they were on.  |
Posted By: Luca Pacchiarini
Date Posted: July 09 2009 at 12:49
| Would you please draw my bitchy teacher cut in half with an electric saw? |
Posted By: Vompatti
Date Posted: July 09 2009 at 12:52
How could I? I've never seen her. |
Posted By: Luca Pacchiarini
Date Posted: July 09 2009 at 13:00
|
1 meter and 70 inches tall.
quite thin.
big boobs.
curly hair (brown)
brown eyes.
age: around 40.
a bit naked pls XD
|
Posted By: Vompatti
Date Posted: July 09 2009 at 13:05
Here's the one about the Circus of Heaven: |
Posted By: Luca Pacchiarini
Date Posted: July 09 2009 at 13:44
| What's up with those children jumping in the green grass? |
Posted By: Vompatti
Date Posted: July 09 2009 at 13:49
| I believe you're referring to the Gardens of Babylon. |
Posted By: Vompatti
Date Posted: July 09 2009 at 13:49
Unfortunately I thought about this and came to the conclusion that I cannot do this picture. Cutting female teachers in half with an electric saw is not at all a nice thing to do, and certainly not the kind of thing I would like to support in my art. I don't think you should ever consider such mindless acts of violence, not even in your most secret fantasies. Aggressive thoughts may seem like a natural way to express your emotions, but in the long run they will only make you feel much worse. Perhaps you should try to learn to understand your teacher, really get to know her. I'm sure you'd find out that even though she may seem upleasant, even annoying, there are many wonderful things about her that you haven't noticed before. Perhaps she appears "bitchy" because she's trying to hide her weaknesses? I really think you should meet her in private, buy her a coffee or something, tell her how you feel about her and let her talk to you about her emotions. I'm sure you'd learn to appreciate her much more than you do now. Who knows, you might even fall madly in love with her! |
Posted By: harmonium.ro
Date Posted: July 09 2009 at 14:00
Would you be so kind as to interpret the image in my avatar? That's me btw. 
|
Posted By: crimhead
Date Posted: July 09 2009 at 14:00
| How bout a picture of Flo that's on Stacia's body? |
Posted By: Vompatti
Date Posted: July 09 2009 at 14:02
Comin' right up! |
Posted By: Vompatti
Date Posted: July 09 2009 at 14:03
Stacia from Hawkwind? What would Flo be doing on her body? Or is the picture of Flo on her body? I'm sorry, I don't get it.  |
Posted By: Vompatti
Date Posted: July 09 2009 at 14:21
There you go:  |
Posted By: harmonium.ro
Date Posted: July 09 2009 at 14:32
|
Wow, thanks! That was fast. And pretty accurate, also. Awesome. (But you didn't sign it...) |
Posted By: Vompatti
Date Posted: July 09 2009 at 14:36
|
I never sign my works because I believe they belong to the people, not to me. (In other words, I forgot to sign it. )
|
Posted By: The Quiet One
Date Posted: July 09 2009 at 14:38
That reminds me someone.....:  |
Posted By: crimhead
Date Posted: July 17 2009 at 19:42
| Redo the ITCOTCK cover. please. |
Posted By: Vompatti
Date Posted: July 17 2009 at 19:55
 |
Posted By: crimhead
Date Posted: July 17 2009 at 19:58
Good stuff. Thanks. I'll forward this to Fripp. There may still be time to get in on the 40th Anniversary cover. |
Posted By: progkidjoel
Date Posted: July 17 2009 at 21:48
How about a Portrait of Winona?  ------------- 
|
Posted By: Vompatti
Date Posted: July 18 2009 at 05:20
I'm sorry, but I'm afraid I cannot accept this offer, however tempting it undeniably seems. No work of mine could ever do justice to Winona's gorgeous face, and I feel it would be most immoral of me to knowingly present her in a light less favourable than her extraordinarily sophisticated and most enchantingly delightful appearance would demand. |
Posted By: progkidjoel
Date Posted: July 26 2009 at 01:31
|
Vompatti!
How about You draw THE BATTLE OF EPPING FOREST! -------------
|
Posted By: Vompatti
Date Posted: July 26 2009 at 03:56
The Battle of Epping Forest: |
Posted By: progkidjoel
Date Posted: July 26 2009 at 03:59
|
^^
Insanely epic - You should be proud
Now how about... The Musical Box? -------------
|
Posted By: Vompatti
Date Posted: July 26 2009 at 04:13
 |
Posted By: progkidjoel
Date Posted: July 26 2009 at 04:15
|
THANKYOU!!!!!!!!
Now... The GATES OF DELIRIUM! -------------
|
Posted By: Vompatti
Date Posted: July 26 2009 at 04:21
^ That's easy: |
Posted By: progkidjoel
Date Posted: July 26 2009 at 04:25
|
^^
Amazing - Your best so far!  -------------
|
Posted By: Slartibartfast
Date Posted: July 26 2009 at 05:22
Pardon me for being critical, It needs some vertical bars. Right now it looks like the doors of delirium. And I hope this isn't the end my friend. |
Posted By: Vompatti
Date Posted: July 26 2009 at 05:26
I'm sorry, but I never add any vertical bars to my works. However, here's a free gift: |
Posted By: Slartibartfast
Date Posted: July 26 2009 at 05:49
Perfect!!! I'm sorry, as we have a lot of cat fanciers here, what I meant to say was purrfect:
Carlos helps Dan with the dishes. ------------- Released date are often when it it impacted you but recorded dates are when it really happened... 
|
Posted By: harmonium.ro
Date Posted: July 26 2009 at 06:08
|
Awesome! You should release an illustrated text-book for the Wall!  Of course, you know that if you'd pursue this great idea of mine you should pay me 25% of the benefits due to copyright. |
Posted By: Snow Dog
Date Posted: July 26 2009 at 06:10
 ------------- http://www.last.fm/user/Snow_Dog" rel="nofollow"> 
|
Posted By: Vompatti
Date Posted: July 26 2009 at 07:11
To be honest I'm not sure if it's such a great idea, but here are the first two pages, anyway:   |
Posted By: crimhead
Date Posted: July 26 2009 at 11:20
Minimalistic,primitive. I think that it will sell well in NYC. |
Posted By: Vompatti
Date Posted: July 26 2009 at 13:39
I hope that doesn't mean it's . . . commercial? |
Posted By: progkidjoel
Date Posted: July 27 2009 at 02:05
Are you saying that all the millions of totally underground indie and gothic kids are commercial?! -------------
|
Posted By: Vompatti
Date Posted: July 27 2009 at 04:24
Don't make fun of gothic kids, their lives are already gloomy and miserable. |