How long is a piece of string?
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Topic: How long is a piece of string?
Posted By: Syzygy
Subject: How long is a piece of string?
Date Posted: March 27 2005 at 05:07
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Let's settle this controversy for good. ------------- 'Like so many of you I've got my doubts about how much to contribute to the already rich among us...' Robert Wyatt, Gloria Gloom |
Replies:
Posted By: Reed Lover
Date Posted: March 27 2005 at 07:54
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Double the length of one end to the middle. Twice as long as half the length. Half as long as twice the length. Monty Python sketch for you: The scene is an advertising agency office ... the characters are the ad man, Adrian Wapcaplet and the would-be client, Mr Simpson: W: Aah. Now, I understand you want us to advertise your washing powder. S: String. W: String, washing powder, what's the difference. We can sell *anything*. S: Good. Well I have this large quantity of string, a hundred and twenty-two thousand *miles* of it to be exact, which I inherited, and I thought if I advertised it-- W: Of course! A national campaign. Useful stuff, string, no trouble there. S: Ah, but there's a snag, you see. Due to bad planning, the hundred and twenty-two thousand miles is in three inch lengths. So it's not very useful. W: Well, that's our selling point! "SIMPSON'S INDIVIDUAL STRINGETTES!" S: What? W: "THE NOW STRING! READY CUT, EASY TO HANDLE, SIMPSON'S INDIVIDUAL EMPEROR STRINGETTES - JUST THE RIGHT LENGTH!" S: For what? W: "A MILLION HOUSEHOLD USES!" S: Such as? W: Uhmm...Tying up very small parcels, attaching notes to pigeons' legs, uh, destroying household pests... S: Destroying household pests?! How? W: Well, if they're bigger than a mouse, you can strangle them with it, and if they're smaller, you flog them to death with it! S: Well *surely*! ... W: "DESTROY NINETY-NINE PERCENT OF KNOWN HOUSEHOLD PESTS WITH PRE-SLICED, RUSTPROOF, EASY-TO-HANDLE, LOW CALORIE SIMPSON'S INDIVIDUAL EMPEROR STRINGETTES, FREE FROM ARTIFICIAL COLORING, AS USED IN HOSPITALS!" S: 'Ospitals!?!?!?!!? W: Have you ever been in a Hospital where they didn't have string? S: No, but it's only *string*! W: ONLY STRING?! It's everything! It's...it's waterproof! S: No it isn't! W: All right, it's water resistant then! S: It isn't! W: All right, it's water absorbent! It's...Super Absorbent String! "ABSORB WATER TODAY WITH SIMPSON'S INDIVIDUAL WATER ABSORB-A-TEX STRINGETTES! AWAY WITH FLOODS!" S: You just said it was waterproof! W: "AWAY WITH THE DULL DRUDGERY OF WORKADAY TIDAL WAVES! USE SIMPSON'S INDIVIDUAL FLOOD PREVENTERS!" S: You're mad! W: Shut up, shut up, shut up! Sex, sex sex, must get sex into it. Wait, I see a television commercial - There's this nude woman in a bath holding a bit of your string. That's great, great, but we need a doctor, got to have a medical opinion. There's a nude woman in a bath with a doctor--that's too sexy. Put an archbishop there watching them, that'll take the curse off it. Now, we need children and animals. There's two kids admiring the string, and a dog admiring the archbishop who's blessing the string. Uhh...international flavor's missing...make the archbishop Greek Orthodox. Why not Archbishop Macarios? No, no, he's dead... never mind, we'll get his brother, it'll be cheaper... So, there's this nude woman...
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Posted By: Velvetclown
Date Posted: March 27 2005 at 08:01
Canīt find any string, only this thread 
------------- Billy Connolly Dream Theater Terry Gilliam Hagen Quartet Jethro Tull Mike Keneally |
Posted By: Jim Garten
Date Posted: March 27 2005 at 11:58
  ------------- 
Jon Lord 1941 - 2012 |
Posted By: goose
Date Posted: March 27 2005 at 12:10
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And how long is the thread..? Only time will tell .
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Posted By: maani
Date Posted: March 27 2005 at 12:12
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Actually, if you are talking about the quantum physics theory of "superstrings," there is no measure small enough to describe it. It would be smaller than a muon, even smaller than a neutrino. (That is, a tad smaller than VC's brain... Peace. |
Posted By: Valarius
Date Posted: March 27 2005 at 13:22
| Very long, but all tangled up. |
Posted By: Velvetclown
Date Posted: March 27 2005 at 14:14
Well MAANI my friend  ONE SIZE FITS ALL ------------- Billy Connolly Dream Theater Terry Gilliam Hagen Quartet Jethro Tull Mike Keneally |
Posted By: maani
Date Posted: March 27 2005 at 14:45
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VC: A Zappa fan, huh? Peace. |
Posted By: Velvetclown
Date Posted: March 27 2005 at 14:55
Yes indeed and a MAANI fan as well  i DO LOVE A HUMAN, WITH THE POWER TOB Ee ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, PC ------------- Billy Connolly Dream Theater Terry Gilliam Hagen Quartet Jethro Tull Mike Keneally |
Posted By: tuxon
Date Posted: March 28 2005 at 00:22
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It's not the seize that matters it's how you use it. ------------- I'm always almost unlucky _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ Id5ZcnjXSZaSMFMC Id5LM2q2jfqz3YxT |
Posted By: JrKASperov
Date Posted: March 28 2005 at 05:24
Actually, if you take the norm, out of the string, which are eleven dimensional, it get's a tad longer than one could expect. Put the strings can ofcourse be measured in meters, as there's not a smallest meter yet. You can find a d>0 so that there's a B(a;d) with a element of the string that the string fits in the entire B(a;d)! Ain't that awe-alot! ------------- Epic. |
maani wrote:Posted By: maani
Date Posted: March 28 2005 at 11:29
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VC: You're a Maani fan? Well, I'm just tickled pink... Peace. |
Posted By: Guests
Date Posted: March 28 2005 at 13:46
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Is everyone here losing it? I know I am when I see a thread about string! |
Posted By: Syzygy
Date Posted: March 28 2005 at 13:55
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It's the fact that we can have discussions like this that makes the forum worthwhile - we've taken in quantum physics, Monty Python and Frank Zappa. Where else would you get that response in a discussion about string? ------------- 'Like so many of you I've got my doubts about how much to contribute to the already rich among us...' Robert Wyatt, Gloria Gloom |
Posted By: tuxon
Date Posted: March 28 2005 at 14:18
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Since this is a music site, I would have thought someone to mention some famous string band. ------------- I'm always almost unlucky _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ Id5ZcnjXSZaSMFMC Id5LM2q2jfqz3YxT |
Posted By: Guests
Date Posted: March 28 2005 at 14:20
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How about the String Cheese Incident? I hate their guts. |
Posted By: Metropolis
Date Posted: March 28 2005 at 14:23
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GYBE! have nice strings
------------- We Lost the Skyline............ 
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Posted By: Syzygy
Date Posted: March 28 2005 at 14:38
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Then there's The Incredible String Band - and String Driven Thing ------------- 'Like so many of you I've got my doubts about how much to contribute to the already rich among us...' Robert Wyatt, Gloria Gloom |
Posted By: Reed Lover
Date Posted: March 28 2005 at 14:50
And that guy who plays the bass in The Police. -------------
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Posted By: synthguy
Date Posted: March 28 2005 at 15:05
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Can't find any string...only this duct tape...Hmmm ------------- Wearing feelings on our faces when our faces took a rest... |
Posted By: Peter
Date Posted: March 28 2005 at 16:13
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Sorry - it had to be said! ------------- "And, has thou slain the Jabberwock? Come to my arms, my beamish boy! O frabjous day! Callooh! Callay!' He chortled in his joy. |
Actually, you know, "How Long" is a gentleman from Beijing, and not a piece of string....
Posted By: Reed Lover
Date Posted: March 28 2005 at 17:27
No, you're thinking of "Wang Hung Lo" the Chinese Chippendale! -------------
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Posted By: Velvetclown
Date Posted: March 29 2005 at 04:34
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Who Flung Dung ???? ------------- Billy Connolly Dream Theater Terry Gilliam Hagen Quartet Jethro Tull Mike Keneally |
Posted By: tuxon
Date Posted: March 29 2005 at 05:04
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You Know Who ------------- I'm always almost unlucky _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ Id5ZcnjXSZaSMFMC Id5LM2q2jfqz3YxT |
Posted By: Beau Heem
Date Posted: March 29 2005 at 06:51
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Not actually chinese but north korean. The feverish singing type Kim Sung Ill But who's the one holding the strings behind him? Who's the muppeteer? Cheers -Beau ------------- --No enemy but time-- |
Posted By: Syzygy
Date Posted: March 29 2005 at 14:58
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Then there's How Long's famous brother, How High... ------------- 'Like so many of you I've got my doubts about how much to contribute to the already rich among us...' Robert Wyatt, Gloria Gloom |
Posted By: Man With Hat
Date Posted: April 02 2005 at 14:10
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You can never have enough string ------------- Dig me...But don't...Bury me I'm running still, I shall until, one day, I hope that I'll arrive Warning: Listening to jazz excessively can cause a laxative effect. |
Posted By: Ben2112
Date Posted: April 02 2005 at 15:54
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Some of my favorite strings can be found on this page: http://www.bullz-eye.com/g-string_gallery.htm - http://www.bullz-eye.com/g-string_gallery.htm
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Posted By: Reed Lover
Date Posted: April 02 2005 at 18:18
That's amazing because "Lisa-Next Door" really does live next door to me!! -------------
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Posted By: Ben2112
Date Posted: April 02 2005 at 19:05
You lucky dog! |