DEMOCRATIC
You have two cows.
Your neighbor has none.
You feel guilty for being successful.
Barbara Streisand sings for you.

REPUBLICAN
You have two cows.
Your neighbor has none.
So?


SOCIALIST
You have two cows.
The government takes one and gives it to your neighbor.
You form a cooperative to tell him how to manage his cow.

COMMUNIST
You have two cows.
The government seizes both and provides you with milk.
You wait in line for hours to get it.
It is expensive and sour.

CAPITALISM, AMERICAN STYLE
You have two cows.
You sell one, buy a bull, and build a herd of cows.

BUREAUCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE
You have two cows.
Under the new farm program the government pays you to shoot one, milk
the other, and then pours the milk down the drain.

AMERICAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
 You sell one, lease it back to yourself and do an IPO on the 2nd one.
You  force the two cows to produce the milk of four cows. You are
surprised  when one cow drops dead. You spin an announcement to the analysts stating you  have downsized and are reducing expenses. Your stock goes up.

 FRENCH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You go on strike because you want three cows.
You go to lunch and drink wine.
Life is good.

 JAPANESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
  You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and
produce twenty times the milk.  They learn to travel on unbelievably
crowded trains.  Most are at the top of their class at cow school.

  GERMAN CORPORATION
  You have two cows.
 You engineer them so they are all blond, drink lots of beer, give excellent
 quality milk, and run a hundred miles an hour. Unfortunately they also
demand 13 weeks of vacation per year.
 
  ITALIAN CORPORATION
  You have two cows but you don't know where they are.
  While ambling around, you see a beautiful woman.
  You break for lunch.
  Life is good.

  RUSSIAN CORPORATION
  You have two cows.
  You have some vodka.
  You count them and learn you have five cows.
  You have some more vodka.
  You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.
  The Mafia shows up and takes over however many cows you really have.


  TALIBAN CORPORATION
  You have all the cows in Afghanistan, which are two.
  You don't milk them because you cannot touch any creature' private
parts.  You get a $40 million grant from the US government to find
alternatives to milk production but use the money to buy weapons.

  IRAQI CORPORATION
  You have two cows.
  They go into hiding.
  They send radio tapes of their mooing.


  POLISH CORPORATION
  You have two bulls.
  Employees are regularly maimed and killed attempting to milk them.
(It's okay, I'm Polish and I laughed)

  BELGIAN CORPORATION
  You have one cow.
  The cow is schizophrenic.
  Sometimes the cow thinks he's French, other times he's Flemish.  The
Flemish cow won't share with the French cow.  The French cow wants
control of the Flemish cow's milk.  The cow asks permission to be cut in
half.  The cow dies happy.


  FLORIDA CORPORATION
  You have a black cow and a brown cow.
  Everyone votes for the best looking one.
  Some of the people who actually like the brown one best accidentally
vote  for the black one.  Some people vote for both.  Some people vote
for neither.  Some people can't figure out how to vote at all. Finally,
a bunch of guys  from out-of-state tell you which one you think is the
best-looking cow.

  CALIFORNIA CORPORATION
  You have millions of cows.
  They make real California cheese.
  Only five speak English.
  Most are illegals.

REPUBLICAN
You have two cows.
Your neighbor has none.
So?

 I would probably add..

If you want a cow get a job ,loser!

funny AND iteresting danbo!

http://en.wikibooks.org/wiki/You_have_two_cows - http://en.wikibooks.org/wiki/You_have_two_cows

PERUVIAN SYSTEM

1. The farm owner has two cows
2. The farmer provides salary, food and milk to the workers
3. A military regimen takes the farm from the owners
4. The Military Government gives the cows to the workers of the farm
5. The workers make a barbecue to celebrate they are the new owners of the cows
6. Instead of buying meat, they eat the two cows
7. Nobody has cows anymore so according to the Government justice has been made
8. There's no milk, food or salaries

Any similarity with Peruvian reality is not casual

Iván

Monty Pythonism:

Jim Garten wrote: BRITISH SYSTEM: You have two cows You give them to George W Bush You close another hospital Life is good PROGARCHIVES SYSTEM You have two cows You start a poll to choose the best Reed Lover disagrees with the result Anarchy ensues with much weeping, wailing & kicking of teeth The inevitable question arises - are chickens cows? Another poll begins

That's not fair,I only disagree with the results i dont like!

Velvetclown wrote: Here´s the REAL COW !!!!!!!!!!

Hmm I might let her milk me. 

danbo wrote:   POLISH CORPORATION   You have two bulls.   Employees are regularly maimed and killed attempting to milk them. (It's okay, I'm Polish and I laughed)

 Hey, this one's wrong! It should go something like this:

 You have two cows.

 You book them as hamsters to pay less tax.

 If that doesn't work you outsource the milking.

EDIT: Tax evasion strategies are a lot funnier than Poles getting maimed and killed while trying to grab hold of a bull's di*k !!!!