The Cobra Game
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Topic: The Cobra Game
Posted By: rileydog22
Subject: The Cobra Game
Date Posted: January 16 2008 at 21:14
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The Cobra Game, invented by avant-garde saxophonist John Zorn, is a game of musical improv in which a bandleader coordinates (or disrupts) the improvisational process through a system of hand gestures and signal cards. You can see an example of this http://youtube.com/watch?v=1m1pjR1AQbc - here . Let's play Cobra ourselves. I will start as bandleader, but others are free to take over at just about any time unless it gets out of hand. I hold up a sign marked Q, wave it over my head three times, and then slowly and quite delicately replace it on the table. -------------   |
Replies:
Posted By: Shakespeare
Date Posted: January 17 2008 at 19:05
| I make sure my suspenders are on straight, then start doing a manically syncopated drum beat on a kiddie sized drum set, and don't look up at the other musicians. Ever. |
Posted By: Leningrad
Date Posted: January 17 2008 at 19:07
| Annoyed at Shakespeare's self-indulgent actions, I pick up my music stand and hurl it like a javelin in his general direction before screaming at the top of my lungs. |
Posted By: Shakespeare
Date Posted: January 17 2008 at 19:09
| You miss and impale laplace who was standing in the corner. I guess he looses. And he didn't even get to play anything, too! |
Posted By: bizarro laplace
Date Posted: January 17 2008 at 19:11
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In the last throes of vitality my corpse complains that it wishes to be referred to in a non-gender specified manner and then slowly deceases.
------------- http://www.neopets.com/refer.phtml?username=iamnhnia"> 
# for band in doom: # if indiekids(band): addband(band, "Post Metal") |
Posted By: Leningrad
Date Posted: January 17 2008 at 19:15
| Staring with a mix of horror and amusement at laplace's corpse, I begin to play an out of tune and sloppily played version of 'Master Builder' on a vibraphone. |
Posted By: rileydog22
Date Posted: January 17 2008 at 19:15
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That's ok, it wasn't actually laplace, it was bizarro laplace. And....."G <"! ------------- |
Posted By: rileydog22
Date Posted: January 17 2008 at 19:16
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Wow, Dylan managed to play out of tune on the vibes. That's pretty impressive.
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Posted By: Leningrad
Date Posted: January 17 2008 at 19:24
| I tear my sheet music, and am delighted to discover that it makes an annoying and high pitched shredding sound. I continue to do this, but upon realizing that I have nothing left to play, I begin to weep uncontrollably. |
Posted By: rileydog22
Date Posted: January 17 2008 at 19:27
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I hold up the "Stop crying" sign, aimed at Dylan.
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Posted By: Leningrad
Date Posted: January 17 2008 at 19:30
| I sit back down in my chair instantly and await instruction, completely oblivious to the fact that I haven't eaten a decent meal in eight days. |
Posted By: Shakespeare
Date Posted: January 17 2008 at 19:35
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Meanwhile in the rhythm section, my beats grow steadily more uncontrolled, chaotic, and syncopated. I reach a new level of syncopation that even rhythmic philosophers hadn't thought possible. I start laughing evilly. |
Posted By: rileydog22
Date Posted: January 17 2008 at 19:37
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I hold up "DB" and ensure that all performers are able to see it. I twirl it a little bit, point at Dylan, then at Josh with two fingers, and, with a flick of my wrist, return it to the table.
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Posted By: Leningrad
Date Posted: January 17 2008 at 19:41
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I produce a bottle of Pepsi and pour it all over myself. Next, I douse myself in a mixture of honey and sugar before lying on the ground and fainting from starvation. |
Posted By: bizarro laplace
Date Posted: January 17 2008 at 19:42
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A valkyrie arrives to usher my soul to Valhalla, stopping only to unfurl an ancient parchment bearing a lowercase L and nod at you all meaningfully.
------------- http://www.neopets.com/refer.phtml?username=iamnhnia">
# for band in doom: # if indiekids(band): addband(band, "Post Metal") |
Posted By: rileydog22
Date Posted: January 17 2008 at 19:42
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I laugh at Dylan. Then I realize the incredible carnage that this game has produced. I stop laughing. I hold up the "DL" card.
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Posted By: Leningrad
Date Posted: January 17 2008 at 19:46
| I quickly regain consciousness and begin to play an emotive classical piece on my bassoon, and appear very happy that all manner of insects are becoming attracted to the mixture covering my body. |
Posted By: Shakespeare
Date Posted: January 17 2008 at 19:47
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We all know that DL means heavy business, so I cease drumming rather abruptly and stand, remove my hat and hold it over my heart, and hum a recognizable melody. You know. That one. From that song. |
Posted By: rileydog22
Date Posted: January 17 2008 at 19:48
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I love that song! And I would love for you to keep humming it, but alas my muse directs me differently. Sadly, I order you to stop and command you to follow Dylan's lead. Also, I dedicate this piece to bizarro laplace. We must carry on in its absence. It's what it would have wanted. ------------- |
Posted By: Shakespeare
Date Posted: January 17 2008 at 19:49
| Then I take out a coke and pour it on Dylan, while peddling the bass drum, to compliment the pepsi. |
Posted By: Shakespeare
Date Posted: January 17 2008 at 19:50
| Because I like disregarding the man. Again with the evil laughter. |
Posted By: Leningrad
Date Posted: January 17 2008 at 19:50
| Now completely swarmed by hornets and flying beetles, I flail my arms wildly and stop, drop and roll. |
Posted By: rileydog22
Date Posted: January 17 2008 at 19:52
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I resume my laughter. Then I whip out a saxamaphone and go Zorn on your asses.
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Posted By: Leningrad
Date Posted: January 17 2008 at 19:57
| "You think that's impressive?" I boast contemptuously, ignorant to the biting insects that cover my person. I pull out a pink crayon and scribble an exact likeness of Peter Gabriel into one of the walls before running headfirst into my drawing and knocking myself unconscious. |
Posted By: rileydog22
Date Posted: January 17 2008 at 20:00
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"A flower?" I ask in a dramatic fashion, then play the next three notes of Supper's Ready before quickly turning it into yet another avant garde Zorn-esque solo.
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Posted By: Shakespeare
Date Posted: January 17 2008 at 20:09
| Meanwhile, I leave my drumset and tip-toe over to the hot chicks in the corner, observing it all, and sip my coke. Sticking a thumb beneath each suspender I elevate onto my toes and utter, "Golly it's noisy in here!" |
Posted By: rileydog22
Date Posted: January 17 2008 at 20:10
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The females in question see you and Dylan and scamper away in disgust. I order you back to your kit.
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Posted By: Leningrad
Date Posted: January 17 2008 at 20:12
| Following my odd habit of becoming conscious quickly, I wake up and walk over to Josh's drumset before sitting behind the kit and playing as though I am posessed by Jaki Liebezeit. |
Posted By: rileydog22
Date Posted: January 17 2008 at 20:13
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I quickly call Josh to come over here and replace me as prompter as I pick up my bass and begin grooving with Jaki...er...I mean Dylan. ------------- |
Posted By: Dim
Date Posted: January 17 2008 at 20:15
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In an attempt to silence Jake once and for all, I throw a ninja throwing star towards his bass. ------------- 
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Posted By: rileydog22
Date Posted: January 17 2008 at 20:15
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I quickly dodge it and order Ian to GTFO immediately.
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Posted By: Shakespeare
Date Posted: January 17 2008 at 20:17
| But, in a dramatic attempt to show my discontent with following orders, I instead just run in small circles, flailing my arms, shouting Stevie Nicks songs and throwing those Japanese ninja stars at all the musicians in the room who have yet to participate. One hits the Valkyrie carrying laplace's corpse to Valhalla. |
Posted By: Shakespeare
Date Posted: January 17 2008 at 20:17
What. The. f**k. |
schizoid_man77 wrote:Posted By: rileydog22
Date Posted: January 17 2008 at 20:18
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While playing bass with only my left hand (I've got strong left-hand muscles from, well, you know.....), I lift up the "Stop running around in circles and start prompting" card.
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Posted By: Leningrad
Date Posted: January 17 2008 at 20:18
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I hurl a drumstick at Josh for not talking in the present tense. |
Posted By: Dim
Date Posted: January 17 2008 at 20:19
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I help Dylan -------------
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Posted By: Shakespeare
Date Posted: January 17 2008 at 20:21
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It went straight into my right eye and stuck straight out. It moved with my eye movement. I felt no pain, but instead I continued to use the past tense. Again, evil laughing. I also ripped out Ian's neck for looking into the future and steeling my idea of the ninja stars. Now the blood is everywhere in the room, and I find the "Caution, Wet" sign in Jake's pile and set it up at the entrance. |
Posted By: Leningrad
Date Posted: January 17 2008 at 20:22
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Presently lacking drumsticks, I grow bored of sitting behind the kit doing nothing and begin to crow like a rooster. My voice cracks and I collapse into a coughing fit. |
Posted By: Dim
Date Posted: January 17 2008 at 20:23
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Quickly, I found Dylans knitting kit, and sew myself back together.
Now I go over to the hammond organ and rape it Emerson style, while watch Laplaces boddy sit and rot. -------------
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Posted By: Shakespeare
Date Posted: January 17 2008 at 20:24
| I start to attack Jake by standing next to him and moving my eyes very rapidly so that the drumstick smacks him across the face. Evil laughing. |
Posted By: rileydog22
Date Posted: January 17 2008 at 20:25
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I see the blood and gore throughout the room and begin crying, crying as though I had never cried before. I can't control it, I just keep crying and crying and crying. And then Josh uses the past tense again and the tears just get worse and worse and now I don't think I can control myself with all these tears and emotions running through me and i dont think im even making sense anymore help me help me im not even using sentences or capitalization or punctuation i feel like laplace or bizarro laplace or whatever and that thought just makes me cry harder and oh my god i think i might just shrivel up and die right here if i keep crying now i pass out from dehydration from all the crying
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Posted By: Dim
Date Posted: January 17 2008 at 20:27
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I quickyly punch Josh away, and slap Jake back into his reality. -------------
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Posted By: Shakespeare
Date Posted: January 17 2008 at 20:31
| I killed Ian through every means possible. He was utterly obliterated. He was so far in ancient history that even the past tense was not enough to recall his existence. |
Posted By: Dim
Date Posted: January 17 2008 at 20:32
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Little does Jake know that my soul watches over the man who who kills me, until he dies. -------------
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Posted By: rileydog22
Date Posted: January 17 2008 at 20:33
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I suddenly stop crying. I go back over to my bass and kick on the distortion. I play a zeuhl bassline so kickass that everyone in earshot creams their pants spontaneously. Including myself. I go clean off my bass and wash out my pants.
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Posted By: Shakespeare
Date Posted: January 17 2008 at 20:34
Except you were obliterated to oblivion so utterly that even your soul ceased to exist. In fact, it ceased to exist so utterly, that it never actually existed at all ever in any measurable dimension of time or space. And my name is Josh. |
Posted By: rileydog22
Date Posted: January 17 2008 at 20:35
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Clean again, I return to my amp and plug back in. I start rolling off that awesome groove from Sweet Sweet Bulbs.
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Posted By: Shakespeare
Date Posted: January 17 2008 at 20:35
I did a crazy De Futura Vander imitation with spastic and spontaneous aggressive drumming, and somehow we match up perfectly despite the rigid syncopatedness and the unreal spontaneity. |
Posted By: Dim
Date Posted: January 17 2008 at 20:36
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I meant Jake.
You guys are ass -------------
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Posted By: rileydog22
Date Posted: January 17 2008 at 20:37
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No, Ian didn't mean anybody because now he is DEAD. DEAD DEAD DEAD DEAD DEAD WHY DOESNT HE GET THE PICTURE DEAD. Anyways, seeing Josh's Vander impression, I go back to my Zeuhl bassline. Damn, it rocks SO HARD. ------------- |
Posted By: Shakespeare
Date Posted: January 17 2008 at 20:37
Unfamiliar with the bassline, I just started doing really loud blastbeats and actually popped my own eardrums. The whole while, the drum stick is still in my eye. Evil laughing. |
Posted By: Shakespeare
Date Posted: January 17 2008 at 20:37
| But we were back on Zeuhl by then so it didn't matter where did Dylan go @? |
Posted By: heyitsthatguy
Date Posted: January 17 2008 at 20:38
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I then put on my wizard hat and robe
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Posted By: rileydog22
Date Posted: January 17 2008 at 20:38
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Dude, with the third drumstick jammed in your eye, you can play FIVE-LIMBED DRUM PARTS instead of just using the traditional four. That rocks SO HARD.
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Posted By: Leningrad
Date Posted: January 17 2008 at 20:39
| I try to dance to the zeuhl beat but instead slip on the blood and break my spine. |
Posted By: rileydog22
Date Posted: January 17 2008 at 20:39
You again? Perv! ------------- |
Posted By: Shakespeare
Date Posted: January 17 2008 at 20:39
| Seeing the possibilities, I stuck another in my left eye and acquired a second bass drum pedal. Now I am operating the drum set with six limbs, one of which can switch between bass drum and hi-hat. Josh puts a wizard hat on my head. |
Posted By: bizarro laplace
Date Posted: January 17 2008 at 20:41
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(Dead people speak in strikethrough.) ------------- http://www.neopets.com/refer.phtml?username=iamnhnia">
# for band in doom: # if indiekids(band): addband(band, "Post Metal") |
Posted By: rileydog22
Date Posted: January 17 2008 at 20:41
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I've never been a fan of double-kick. But nevertheless, I cannot deny the awesomeness of Josh's drumming setup. I accelerate my bass part and add triplets at random intervals.
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Posted By: Shakespeare
Date Posted: January 17 2008 at 20:42
| We are not familiar with this particular dialect, and so we continued with the Zeuhl Wortz. |
Posted By: Shakespeare
Date Posted: January 17 2008 at 20:43
The double kick was for satirical purposes. "LUL LOOCK EVERYBUDY I AM MOIK PURTNOI LUL!" |
Posted By: Dim
Date Posted: January 17 2008 at 20:43
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Posted By: rileydog22
Date Posted: January 17 2008 at 20:44
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Thinking that I'm having a brilliant musical idea, I start playing something which sounds like Tubular Bells. Realizing what Vander would think of me, I cut off my right pinky as a punishment. I go back to Zeuhl, bleeding all over my bass as I continue to blast loud, rhythmic lines.
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Posted By: Dim
Date Posted: January 17 2008 at 20:45
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Posted By: Leningrad
Date Posted: January 17 2008 at 20:45
| I hurl my broken body at Josh's drum set, knocking over all of the cymbals, which collapse on top of me. |
Posted By: rileydog22
Date Posted: January 17 2008 at 20:46
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Despite the fact that Ian doesn't seem to realize that he is DEAD DEAD DEAD DEAD DEAD WHY DOESNT HE REALIZE THAT HES DEAD IN THIS THREAD DEAD DEAD DEAD, I play on, and as I turn up my amp I feel the spirit of Bernard Paganotti flowing through my fingers. I lose about half of my hair, but my basslines become even faster and more powerful.
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Posted By: Dim
Date Posted: January 17 2008 at 20:47
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Posted By: Dim
Date Posted: January 17 2008 at 20:48
 -------------
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Posted By: Shakespeare
Date Posted: January 17 2008 at 20:48
| I also violently threw my body into my drumset which was already a messy pile of steel plastic and Dylan. |
Posted By: Dim
Date Posted: January 17 2008 at 20:49
 -------------
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Posted By: Dim
Date Posted: January 17 2008 at 20:50
 -------------
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Posted By: rileydog22
Date Posted: January 17 2008 at 20:50
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I go over and jump into the DOGPILE while still playing bass. I think I'm bleeding out of my ears, in addition to the place where my pinkie used to be.
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Posted By: Leningrad
Date Posted: January 17 2008 at 20:51
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Laughing uncontrollably at the fact that all the musicians are either dead or injured, I call my mother on a cheap cell phone. Upon discovering that I am getting no reception, I shoot myself in the leg with a handgun. |
Posted By: rileydog22
Date Posted: January 17 2008 at 20:52
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Laughing, I pick up the handgun and shoot you in the other leg. Then I shoot one of Josh's 12 tuned china cymbals and laugh like a 5-year-old at the sound it makes.
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Posted By: Shakespeare
Date Posted: January 17 2008 at 20:52
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I actually just mastered the ability of moving one eye separately from the other, and start smacking Dylan AND Jake with different eyes. Um. Did I just use present tense? |
Posted By: moreitsythanyou
Date Posted: January 17 2008 at 20:56
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I pour a slight amount of pepper on your detached eyes.
-------------  <font color=white>butts, lol[/COLOR] |
Posted By: heyitsthatguy
Date Posted: January 17 2008 at 20:57
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Mok Potnay?
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Posted By: Dim
Date Posted: January 17 2008 at 20:58
Waht? now I have to put text to these Pics? -------------
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Posted By: Shakespeare
Date Posted: January 17 2008 at 20:59
| Ignoring the fool, I hit "back" on my time machine and bring us back to the start of the session. Jakes reaches for a card. |
Posted By: rileydog22
Date Posted: January 17 2008 at 21:01
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Damn, that time machine is cool! I whip out my "Kosmische" card, indicating that it's time for some space-kraut. ------------- |
Posted By: Dim
Date Posted: January 17 2008 at 21:04
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I'm dead -------------
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Posted By: Leningrad
Date Posted: January 17 2008 at 21:04
| Instead of playing music myself, I simply crank 'Mysterious Semblance at the Strand of Nightmares' on my portable boombox and stare at the ceiling drooling. |
Posted By: rileydog22
Date Posted: January 17 2008 at 21:06
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I drool as I listen to the beautiful 'Tron parts. I wave to Josh, indicating that he should enter.
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Posted By: moreitsythanyou
Date Posted: January 17 2008 at 21:06
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I fashion a bucket out of guitar strings in an attempt to catch your drool, but instead it just makes a weird scratchy noise.
------------- <font color=white>butts, lol[/COLOR] |
Posted By: rileydog22
Date Posted: January 17 2008 at 21:14
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I look through the signs until I finally find "Josh you were supposed to start 5 minutes ago." I wave it impatiently at Josh.
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Posted By: Shakespeare
Date Posted: January 17 2008 at 21:16
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I sit on my drum stool meditating. Meditation is key in kraut. |
Posted By: Dim
Date Posted: January 17 2008 at 21:16
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Posted By: rileydog22
Date Posted: January 17 2008 at 21:18
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As Josh meditates, I walk over and push him off his drum stool (meditation is better cross-legged on the floor anyways). I begin playing very very slowly, which I attribute to a minimalistic artistic approach, rather than a simple lack of drum skills.
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Posted By: Leningrad
Date Posted: January 17 2008 at 21:19
| In response to this, I raise the volume level on the boombox. Further drooling commences. |
Posted By: Shakespeare
Date Posted: January 17 2008 at 21:20
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I focus on the present as all. The future and past exist only in the present, which is what there is and all there is. This fact enlightens me to knowing that the only way to achieve eternal life is to recognize that man has eternal life in every moment of his being. Therefore, I sit cross-legged on the floor, basking in the glory of eternal being. Then Dylan pours coke on me, giggling like a school girl. |
Posted By: moreitsythanyou
Date Posted: January 17 2008 at 21:21
 ------------- <font color=white>butts, lol[/COLOR] |
Posted By: rileydog22
Date Posted: January 17 2008 at 21:22
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I pass prompting duties to Josh, as I'm going to take a shower.
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Posted By: Shakespeare
Date Posted: January 17 2008 at 21:23
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I raise the card which reads, Hoï Hamtaï Sïm Rïm Hamtaï Hoï Hamtaï Sïm Rïm Hamtaï Hoï Hamtaï Sïm Rïm Hamtaï Hoï Hamtaï Sïm Rïm Hamtaï and people kinda stare at me for a while, not making any noise at all. |
Posted By: Dim
Date Posted: January 17 2008 at 21:26
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Posted By: Shakespeare
Date Posted: January 17 2008 at 21:28
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Hoï Hamtaï Sïm Rïm Hamtaï I shout People still are just staring blankly at me. |
Posted By: Shakespeare
Date Posted: January 17 2008 at 21:31
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Seeing my Kobaïan is doing nothing for the masses, I take a more accessible, more understadable, more commercial, simpler decision, and begin to preach Hinduism. "...so, you see, we are all really one and the same: we are all a piece of the great self, who has set up this great play for his own amusement, and who is also playing hide-and-seek with himself, and that's what all existence amounts to." |
Posted By: Dim
Date Posted: January 17 2008 at 21:32
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Still dead -------------
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Posted By: moreitsythanyou
Date Posted: January 17 2008 at 21:35
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I amplify the sound that it is converted to a frequency where the dead can hear what is said. Upon hearing the teachings of Hinduism, Ian learns of reincarnation, and comes back as a duck with a monocle and a top hat.
------------- <font color=white>butts, lol[/COLOR] |
Posted By: Shakespeare
Date Posted: January 17 2008 at 21:38
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"BUDDHISM IS NOT A RELIGION!" I cry as I slay Ian as soon as he emerges from the void in his duck form. |
Posted By: Shakespeare
Date Posted: January 17 2008 at 21:39
| In a very casual manner, I then raise the SX card and point at Angelo. |