Excerpts from a Cat's Diary ....

Day 983 of my captivity. 

My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.

They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed

hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the

rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to

keep up my strength. The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of

escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.

Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet.

I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly

demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made

condescending comments about what a "good little hunter" I am. b*****ds!

There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was

placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event.  However,

I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my

confinement was due to the power of "allergies." I must learn what this

means, and how to use it to my advantage. 

Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my

tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this

again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs. 

I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches.

The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released - and

seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded. The

bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicate with the

guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors

have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is

safe. For now ..