10 Most highly pretentious instruments
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Topic: 10 Most highly pretentious instruments
Posted By: johnobvious
Subject: 10 Most highly pretentious instruments
Date Posted: September 20 2006 at 09:49
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Funny article in this week's Onion. You would think that the author had been to this site and found it not to their liking http://www.avclub.com/content/node/52907 - http://www.avclub.com/content/node/52907 ------------- Biggles was in rehab last Saturday |
Replies:
Posted By: Firepuck
Date Posted: September 20 2006 at 10:30
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I bet this Chris guy likes both kinds of music - country... and western. ------------- Kryten : "'Pub'? Ah yes, A meeting place where humans attempt to achieve advanced states of mental incompetence by the repeated consumption of fermented vegetable drinks." |
Posted By: Raff
Date Posted: September 20 2006 at 10:34
| I wonder why people feel obliged to sl*g off kinds of music they don't like. As if any of us spent our time writing articles against rap, disco, Britney Spears or such. If I don't care for something (or someone, for the matter), I just ignore it. |
Posted By: Melomaniac
Date Posted: September 20 2006 at 10:37
Except when it comes to Dream Theater, of course!!  ------------- "One likes to believe in the freedom of Music" - Neil Peart, The Spirit of Radio |
Ghost Rider wrote:Posted By: MikeEnRegalia
Date Posted: September 20 2006 at 10:38
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I liked the article ... it's meant to be ironic, but inadvertantly he spared most prog bands: He forgot #11: The Mellotron  ------------- https://awesomeprog.com/users/Mike" rel="nofollow">Recently listened to: 
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Posted By: erlenst
Date Posted: September 20 2006 at 10:41
| This article wasn't funny, just plain idiotic. |
Posted By: MikeEnRegalia
Date Posted: September 20 2006 at 10:44
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I'm a musician and I play some of these instruments (guitar, piano, keyboards) ... I didn't feel offended in the least.
------------- https://awesomeprog.com/users/Mike" rel="nofollow">Recently listened to:
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Posted By: Philéas
Date Posted: September 20 2006 at 10:51
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I am apparently one of the few who actually found this article
entertaining. Don't take everything so seriously, it will kill you. |
Posted By: Hibou
Date Posted: September 20 2006 at 10:54
Or you could say like comedian Bob Newhart once said: I don't like country music, but I don't mean to denigrate those who do. And for the people who like country music, denigrate means 'put down'. ------------- [IMG]http://i22.photobucket.com/albums/b311/Progueuse/Album.jpg"> Gene Police: You!! Out of the pool! |
Posted By: johnobvious
Date Posted: September 20 2006 at 10:54
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I guess pretentious is in the eye of the beholder. The more I read it, the more I thought it should of been the Top 10 Pretentious PROG instruments.
------------- Biggles was in rehab last Saturday |
Posted By: Sean Trane
Date Posted: September 20 2006 at 11:01
Had read this "thing" in the PE forum.
But Bagpipes have never been prog. Only Stewart and Maca used them (to my knowledge anyway) although it is possible that some modern prog band would've used them in some double disc concept >> I did like Paul's Mull Of Kintyre, though. ------------- let's just stay above the moral melee prefer the sink to the gutter keep our sand-castle virtues content to be a doer as well as a thinker, prefer lifting our pen rather than un-sheath our sword |
Posted By: BaldFriede
Date Posted: September 20 2006 at 11:03
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I could have thought of a lot much more pretentious instruments. The flute is not pretentious at all, but how about the harp? Or the cello? Or the sitar? Among keyboards I would have chosen a harpsichord as pretentious. The examples chosen don't convince me at all.
-------------  BaldJean and I; I am the one in blue. |
Posted By: BaldFriede
Date Posted: September 20 2006 at 11:06
Mother Gong use Uilleann pipes (the Irish variation of the bagpipe) on their album "Fairy Tales". ------------- BaldJean and I; I am the one in blue. |
Posted By: stonebeard
Date Posted: September 20 2006 at 11:13
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I'm not sure, but I bet all of them are used on Pain of Salvation's BE. ------------- http://soundcloud.com/drewagler" rel="nofollow - My soundcloud. Please give feedback if you want! |
Posted By: Sean Trane
Date Posted: September 20 2006 at 11:14
Ulleann pipes sound so much better than bagpipes, IMHO (sorry for my Scott friends) ------------- let's just stay above the moral melee prefer the sink to the gutter keep our sand-castle virtues content to be a doer as well as a thinker, prefer lifting our pen rather than un-sheath our sword |
Posted By: Zweck
Date Posted: September 20 2006 at 11:22
Lost your vision thing? |
Posted By: Meddler
Date Posted: September 20 2006 at 11:27
Omar Rodrigues-Lopez plays a sitar. ------------- [IMG]http://i72.photobucket.com/albums/i165/amorfous/astro-1.jpg"> |
Posted By: mystic fred
Date Posted: September 20 2006 at 11:37
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pretensiousness would be owning these instruments but not being able to play them, surely?
-------------  Prog Archives Tour Van 
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Posted By: peroxidess
Date Posted: September 20 2006 at 12:05
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I can understand what this article is about but punk has already come and gone ... and I totally agree on Malmsteen... I mean TOTALLY! ------------- The universe is in constant pursuit of a celestial home. |
Posted By: Tony Fisher
Date Posted: September 20 2006 at 12:50
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Listen to any of Runrig's or Wolfstone's (not prog, Celtic rock and highly recommended) albums and hear why bagpipes are not pretentious: they are Scots Gaels and play their own traditional instrument! In Malcolm Jones' or Stevie Saint's hands, pipes are a thing of beauty. Personally, I think he's talking out of his a**e but he's entitled to his own boorish view, i guess. |
Posted By: salmacis
Date Posted: September 20 2006 at 12:57
| Oh lord. I thought we'd moved on from the 'pompous/pretentious' school of journalism. Obviously there are still some people who can't get used to music that isn't amateurish or 2 dimensional. I think that all that really needs to be said is that prog has endured, whilst punk seems not to have in some respects. Compare the amount of first division prog bands that are still going or only split up not so long ago to the amount of first division punk acts that are still going and I think that battle's won. Also, the amount of new-ish affiliates of prog- prog metal, neo prog etc.- to the 'stick in the mud', non evolving punk genre. Try as the critics might, they can't kill off prog and deep down, I think they know it. And this accounts for some of the bitter, sour comments, I feel. |
Posted By: robertplantowns
Date Posted: September 20 2006 at 13:21
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WOW, I think what all of you have failed to notice is that this is supposed to be a tongue-in-cheek article, as most of the articles on the Onion are. This writer obviously listens to some prog, how else would he know about the new moog that was made, or Wakeman's silver cape and King Arthur on Ice? He's clearly a prog fan who's trying to write an article to get some laughs, but apparently this has flown over all your heads. Anyways, who can't admit that children's choirs, chapman sticks, those strapped-on keyboards and Ywingie Malmsteen ARE pretentious? THEY ARE! It's ok for prog fans to admit that there are some pretentious aspects to the genre as a whole. If we didn't appreciate such pretentiousness, we wouldn't find so much hilarity in our much beloved Spinal Tap! You guys need to stop taking such things seriously, and learn how to laugh! Anyways that was a funny article and I thoroughly enjoyed it. ------------- 
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Posted By: johnobvious
Date Posted: September 20 2006 at 14:05
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robertplant, I see your point about tongue in cheek but this isn't a true Onion article but an AV club article, so while it is somewhat tongue in cheek, it isn't a full blown Onion satirical piece. The av club is more straight ahead than the Onion. I'm sure the author believes what he writes and is trying to be humorous about it as opposed to just making stuff up for humor's sake.
------------- Biggles was in rehab last Saturday |
Posted By: Barla
Date Posted: September 20 2006 at 15:48
 Funny article !! But where is the Seven String Bass ??  ------------- http://www.last.fm/user/Barla/?chartstyle=LastfmMyspace">  
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Posted By: tuxon
Date Posted: September 20 2006 at 15:53
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Love the article, makes for a great read, and I totally agreed on all he wrote.
long live pretentious instruments, for they colour my day with sounds ------------- I'm always almost unlucky _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ Id5ZcnjXSZaSMFMC Id5LM2q2jfqz3YxT |
Posted By: Peter
Date Posted: September 20 2006 at 17:06
 How about this, then:
http://www.music.iastate.edu/antiqua/b_krum.wav">
  The crumhorn can play around corners! Get bent!  Ooh! Someone's compensating for something, methinks!
Eeeeeeeeeeee-coli! ------------- "And, has thou slain the Jabberwock? Come to my arms, my beamish boy! O frabjous day! Callooh! Callay!' He chortled in his joy. |
Posted By: tuxon
Date Posted: September 20 2006 at 17:11
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Ah the avalancheflute, thought they used dynamite these days, good to see they keep the tradition alive.
btw don't understand the ecoli referene ------------- I'm always almost unlucky _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ Id5ZcnjXSZaSMFMC Id5LM2q2jfqz3YxT |
Posted By: Peter
Date Posted: September 20 2006 at 17:22
You know -- the TV ad for "Ricola" cough drops: there's alpine horns, and a guy in lederhosen yelling "Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii -- colaaaa!"
  I always yelled "eeeee-coliiii" (a nasty bug - food poisoning) when it came on. Now, fiddle me this:
 ------------- "And, has thou slain the Jabberwock? Come to my arms, my beamish boy! O frabjous day! Callooh! Callay!' He chortled in his joy. |
Posted By: reality
Date Posted: September 20 2006 at 17:35
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This is a totaly serious article with some very fine points. I think that people do not realize that pretentious is not a good thing. It is not talent but show as a guise of talent. It is "if I am flashy enough mabye they will not realize that I have no substance".
I agree with the writer as he showed proper uses and the pretentious improper uses of these instraments. An example would be the grand piano, he compared the proper use of Keith Jarrett to the pretentious new age losers.
Read the article for the rest of the examples but it does show the "hey look at me I am a rockstar" instraments that are not pretentious in themselves but are nausiatingly putrid when used improperly.
Oh ya, if you did not grow up with the Bagpipes in your culture, do not use them you just look silly! Leave that to those who Know what the instrament is all about (as before mentioned: Runrig, Wolfstone Etc. would be proper use of the bagpipes.)
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Posted By: el böthy
Date Posted: September 20 2006 at 18:07
For once I agree with you Mike. And by the way, why is a picture of Sambora there??? ------------- "You want me to play what, Robert?" 
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Posted By: mrgd
Date Posted: September 21 2006 at 03:25
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What, no mention of the bed flute or the bum trumpet! ------------- Looking still the same after all these years... mrgd |
Posted By: Jim Garten
Date Posted: September 21 2006 at 03:49
Or, indeed the pink oboe or porcelain parpophone (it's just about possible to play both at the same time, but not recommended) ------------- 
Jon Lord 1941 - 2012 |
Posted By: Jim Garten
Date Posted: September 21 2006 at 03:56
I want one - any musical instrument which (a) looks that cool, and (b) makes women look that sexy has to be purchased! -------------
Jon Lord 1941 - 2012 |
Posted By: Dragon Phoenix
Date Posted: September 21 2006 at 03:56
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No cowbells?
------------- Blog this: http://artrock2006.blogspot.com |
Posted By: darkshade
Date Posted: September 21 2006 at 04:17
or the Eight string bass?? or the NINE string guitar??
but seriously.. they existill agree, the Keytar is one of the dumbest instruments and the players using them look like fools ------------- http://www.last.fm/user/MysticBoogy" rel="nofollow - My Last.fm 
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Posted By: darkshade
Date Posted: September 21 2006 at 04:19
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i think the tuba is the most pretentious instrument. why? i can play tuba ------------- http://www.last.fm/user/MysticBoogy" rel="nofollow - My Last.fm
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Posted By: darkshade
Date Posted: September 21 2006 at 04:21
wow what great scenary ------------- http://www.last.fm/user/MysticBoogy" rel="nofollow - My Last.fm
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Posted By: mrgd
Date Posted: September 22 2006 at 03:17
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The furry harmonica is, of course, a challenge for any self-respecting embouchure , all pretentions aside! ------------- Looking still the same after all these years... mrgd |
Posted By: Intruder
Date Posted: September 22 2006 at 03:43
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Man, Jon Anderson's voice didn't get a mention? ------------- I like to feel the suspense when you're certain you know I am there..... |
Posted By: The Whistler
Date Posted: September 22 2006 at 03:48
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Fool! There is none more pretentious upon the flute as Ian! Who's this James New-town jerk? ------------- "There seem to be quite a large percentage of young American boys out there tonight. A long way from home, eh? Well so are we... Gotta stick together." -I. Anderson |
Posted By: Forgotten Son
Date Posted: September 22 2006 at 04:13
Same. I particularly enjoyed the entry for Electric Guitar. I know a few people who are like those described in that paragraph. |
Posted By: darren
Date Posted: September 22 2006 at 22:45
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I see what the guy is trying to do but he's not very good at it. When I got to the part of grand piano, I thought of Little Richard and Ray Charles. Sorry, Dude, they're cool. As someone mentioned, he missed Mellotron. He also missed 12 string guitar.
Oh, by the way, Tony Levin doesn't play a Stick with Funkfingers, only bass guitar. ... and Trey Gunn plays a Warr guitar, not a Chapman Stick. (just keeping up the tradition of nitpicking.)
------------- "they locked up a man who wanted to rule the world. the fools they locked up the wrong man." - Leonard Cohen |
Posted By: darkshade
Date Posted: September 23 2006 at 04:54
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i wouldnt call the 12 string pretentious, really. tons of bands use 'em, esp. acoustic ones ------------- http://www.last.fm/user/MysticBoogy" rel="nofollow - My Last.fm
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Posted By: coffeeintheface
Date Posted: September 23 2006 at 09:22
It's meant to be a joke. I thought it was funny, and true in some cases. For all we know, this guy's a prog fan. I mean, I love Arnold Schwarzenegger movies yet I make fun of him all the time and use his soundboard. One way people show their enjoyment of something is to poke fun at it at times. ------------- OBQM: www.soundcloud.com/onebigquestionmark (solo project) nQuixote: www.soundcloud.com/n-quixote (ambient + various musical ideas) |
Posted By: darren
Date Posted: September 24 2006 at 16:16
Yes but generally when a band is trying to be "serious". Beautiful in the hands of a Steve Howe or an Alex Lifeson but in when used by an 80's hair band... cheesey.
------------- "they locked up a man who wanted to rule the world. the fools they locked up the wrong man." - Leonard Cohen |
Posted By: SolariS
Date Posted: September 25 2006 at 00:49
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I didn't know music could be made without those 10 instruments.  -------------  
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Posted By: Eetu Pellonpaa
Date Posted: September 25 2006 at 02:57
PAT METHENY can play a really beautiful tune with this instrument, check out "Imaginary Day Live" DVD!
The are going to the wilderness and gonna get high, I bet.
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