Picture the scene (True story)
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Topic: Picture the scene (True story)
Posted By: Swinton MCR
Subject: Picture the scene (True story)
Date Posted: December 16 2004 at 14:12
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My Wifes friend had decided to go out for her 40th, she was to go to several pubs then on into Town (Manchester)....That was the plan, but after having a nice time in the pubs - the concensus of opinion was (as they are wimmin in the 30-45 age range) that clubbing was less appealing than being invited back to the birthday girls house for some nibbles and wine. So home they went. They got into the hall and the hostess told the five/six women to enter the lounge whist she went for a quick pee... She comes down the stairs to hysterical laughter and all her friends peering round the lounge door........ She peers in, her husband is in a reclining chair facing the big 50 inch television with a lesbian gash-lick in full technicolour detail whilst he is slowly masturbating - naked except for a pair of wireless headphones - through which he was listening to some very loud music....... The question is - What was he listening to ?? P.S - My wife was in the party of wimmin...this is her tale ------------- Play me my song, here it comes again |
Replies:
Posted By: Harlequin
Date Posted: December 16 2004 at 14:24
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Visions of Angels The Musical Box How Dare I Be so Beautiful (From Suppers Ready) The Cinema Show I Know What I Like Scenes from a Nights Dream ------------- Information is not knowledge Knowledge is not wisdom Wisdom is not truth Truth is not beauty Beauty is not love Love is not music Music is the best... |
Posted By: Reed Lover
Date Posted: December 16 2004 at 14:38
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Shooting Angels - IQ ? hope it wasn't "Caught In The Act" - Styx live, I dont know which would be the more embarrassing!
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Posted By: Arioch
Date Posted: December 16 2004 at 14:51
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Carpet Crawlers ------------- Knight of the Swords Lord of Entropy Duke of Chaos |
Posted By: Petra
Date Posted: December 16 2004 at 15:08
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Oh My Lord - Nick Cave InThe Flesh - Pain of Salvation ------------- Don't hate me I'm not special like you |
Posted By: frenchie
Date Posted: December 16 2004 at 15:10
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GREAT GIG IN THE SKY... its practically the sounds of an orgasm the aussies even voted it best song to f**k to in like 1990 or something ------------- The Worthless Recluse 
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Posted By: threefates
Date Posted: December 16 2004 at 15:10
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"I Know What Guys Want" - The Waitresses "Girls Just Want to Have Fun" - Cyndi Lauper ------------- THIS IS ELP 
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Posted By: Velvetclown
Date Posted: December 16 2004 at 15:17
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"Counting Out Time" I'm counting out time,Got the whole thing down by numbers. All those numbers! Give my guidance! O Lord I need that now. The day of judgement's come, And you can bet that I've been resting, for this testing, Digesting every word the experts say. Erogenous zones I love you. Without you, what would a poor boy do? Found a girl I wanted to date, Thought I'd better get it straight. Went to buy a book before it's too late. Don't leave nothing to fate. And I have studied every line, every page in the book, And now I've got the real thing here, I'm gonna take a look, take a look. I'm counting out time, hoping it goes like I planned it, 'cos I understand it. Look! I've found the hotspots, Figs 1-9. -still counting out time, got my finger on the button, "Don't say nuttin-just lie there still And I'll get you turned on just fine." Erongenous zones I love you. Without you, what would a poor boy do? Touch and go with 1-6. Bit of trouble in zone No. 7. Gotta remember all of my tricks. There's heaven ahead in No. 11! Getting crucial responses with dialation of the pupils. "Honey get hip! It's time to unzip, to unzip. Whipee!" -Move over Casanova- I'm counting out time, reaction none to happy, Please don't slap me, I'm a red blooded male and the book said I could not fail. I'm counting out time, I got unexpected distress from my mistress, I'll get my money back from the bookstore right away. Erongenous zones I question you- Without you, what would a poor boy do? Without you, mankind handkinds thru' the blues. |
Posted By: Peter
Date Posted: December 16 2004 at 15:31
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I Touch Myself -- Divinyls Do the Spin -- (?) When You're In Love with a Beautiful Woman (It's Hard) -- (?) Touch Me -- Doors Turning Japanese -- Vapors Jamaica Jerkoff -- Elton John Kissing Willy -- Jethro Tool
------------- "And, has thou slain the Jabberwock? Come to my arms, my beamish boy! O frabjous day! Callooh! Callay!' He chortled in his joy. |
Posted By: tuxon
Date Posted: December 16 2004 at 15:38
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Jamaica Jerkoff -- Elton John Darn it, I should have come up with that, I'm a big fan of dear old Elton. ------------- I'm always almost unlucky _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ Id5ZcnjXSZaSMFMC Id5LM2q2jfqz3YxT |
Posted By: Reed Lover
Date Posted: December 16 2004 at 15:58
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This is from The Grease Soundtrack Album:
Born to hand-jive, baby, -------------
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Posted By: Swinton MCR
Date Posted: December 16 2004 at 16:09
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Without you Mankind Handkinds through the blues........Classic Gabriel, but in this case not what he was listening to....... You'll just have to try harder folks...... ------------- Play me my song, here it comes again |
Posted By: Blacksword
Date Posted: December 16 2004 at 16:10
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Orgasmatron - Motorhead Slide it in - Whitesnake When she comes - VDGG
------------- Ultimately bored by endless ecstasy! |
Posted By: Swinton MCR
Date Posted: December 16 2004 at 16:13
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Actually your second choice is quite near the actual track he was listening to !!! ------------- Play me my song, here it comes again |
Posted By: Reed Lover
Date Posted: December 16 2004 at 16:16
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Carrry your load by whitesnake?
http://www.lyricscafe.com/w/whitesnake/carry_your_load.html - http://www.lyricscafe.com/w/whitesnake/carry_your_load.html -------------
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Posted By: frenchie
Date Posted: December 16 2004 at 16:32
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frank zappa - i promise not to cum in your mouth AC/DC - given the dog a bone pearl jam - dirty frank beastie boys - boomin granny the bloodhound gang - a lapdance is so much better when the stripper is crying eminem - cum on everybody tool - jerk off tool - maynards dick tool - hooker with a penis tenacious d - f**k her gently jackyl - she loves my cock ------------- The Worthless Recluse
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Posted By: Garion81
Date Posted: December 16 2004 at 16:51
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Slum goddess from the lower east side or Coca-cola Duesch by the Fugs?
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"What are you going to do when that damn thing rusts?" |
Posted By: Peter
Date Posted: December 16 2004 at 16:51
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Ding Dong Merrily on High Beatles - Come Together
------------- "And, has thou slain the Jabberwock? Come to my arms, my beamish boy! O frabjous day! Callooh! Callay!' He chortled in his joy. |
FZ - Keep It Greasy
Posted By: Wizard/TRueStar
Date Posted: December 16 2004 at 18:05
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the mothers of invention - Return of the son of monster magnet or anything else with Suzie Creamcheeze |
Posted By: AngelRat
Date Posted: December 16 2004 at 18:36
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ABBA's 'Dancing Queen'? Something by Willie Nelson?
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Posted By: AngelRat
Date Posted: December 16 2004 at 18:46
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1. Still Of The Night or just one of these? ------------- |
Posted By: Swinton MCR
Date Posted: December 17 2004 at 03:22
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Nah - Some Funny replys - but he told me that he was listening to "Burn" (The whole CD) - By Deep Purple...His favourite band....... But he's been traumatised by the experience...........I yold him it could have been worse,,,he could have been listening to Dexy's Midnight Runners or watching a Gay Porn movie................Try explaining that one..... However his wife didn't find out it was I who lent him the lesbian spectacular from my personal lezbo library.......... Joke....Why don't lesbians need any nails in their coffins ? A - Because it's all Tongue-n-groove............... ------------- Play me my song, here it comes again |
Posted By: Reed Lover
Date Posted: December 17 2004 at 08:22
 -------------
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Posted By: tuxon
Date Posted: December 17 2004 at 09:53
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Nice joke BTW, does your wife know about your personal library? ------------- I'm always almost unlucky _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ Id5ZcnjXSZaSMFMC Id5LM2q2jfqz3YxT |
Posted By: gdub411
Date Posted: December 18 2004 at 09:42
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This is going to come as a shock, but I actually like lesbian porn. They REALLY have to look like they're getting into it, though. I can't stand the ones where they are obviously just posing for the camera. I still prefer all male videos and pics, but there is something sensual about true lesbians......perhaps I have a few straight bones in my body. |
Posted By: Swinton MCR
Date Posted: December 18 2004 at 09:50
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In reply to y'all - My wife knows I have a DVD pornography library, she even likes some of the more "Professional / Erotic" titles I have in my collection, I myself prefer the slow build up and "mood setting" of the quality DVD's - a lot of pornography is not of the quality I seek. In fact I prefer the Progressive pornography rather than the trashy pop/punk porno for the common moron with no education or imagination.... Im sure you will all appreciate the analogy..... ------------- Play me my song, here it comes again |