Hi swg0d0fmusic

Since no one else critiqued I decided to do so.This is not meant to offend its just an honest contructive critism in my opinion. Here it goes :

Good effort, has potential, obviously Pink Floyd inspired.

Overall Too simplistic .Layering different tracks on top of each other does not make it complex.Some good melody ideas ,but too repetetive and not prog enough to my taste.

The synth is mostly atmospheric and not really played.Some good guitar riffs.The drum is  a beat box cold and boring.

Empty head is not very good .I see your attempting the first Floyd albums but you missed.Your song goes everywhere and anywhere and doesn't fit and the organ is ordinary.

Sorry to be so harsh but its honest and with time I'm sure you'll do better. You do have potetial.

Good job.

Yer version of Moonloop? Has some promise. Demo quality. Could use some trade-offs with the keys during the soloing sections. Needs more dynamics, not volume, just a bit of attack.

Who's the female voice? She got a head cold?

Empty Heads? Lousy synth patch. Too much of nothing happening. A bit boring. The Potential is there.

Keep stroking yer strat and it'll be nice to you.  

Oh yeah I forgot about her voice and weird dialog.

It is long, Inappropriate,nasal,and I would delete that part.

Can I call you "sw" (or would you prefer "God?" )?

Here's my take.  The first track is "immature," but has potential within Floydian-influenced prog.  I think it would benefit from a defined "theme," stated fairly early on by the guitar - perhaps just after the female v.o. (which, unlike most here, I felt was well done).  It might also benefit from more interesting, perhaps even "propulsive" (driving) drums/percussion.  (I realize that may be anathema to what you were trying to create.)

Re "Empty Heads," it seems to be in two parts, the first lasting a minute, the second a little over two minutes.  The first part was a very interesting "idea," but I don't think it was executed as well as it might have been.  I don't really have any suggestions here.  Re "part 2," it also needs "more" in order to maintain a listener's interest.

Whatever you do, don't get discouraged.  There is definite potential in what you are doing.  Keep at it, and "progress" (a truly apropos word here).

Peace.

I like the dreamscape intro of the first track, though I feel I have heard it before. It's not that I think it's plagiarism, but the production and riffs (specially bass and keyboard) are simple. I miss distinctiveness. The idea is ok, but I think you can do a lot with melodies and arrangements. In addition, the guitar is sometimes not tuned in, which is annoying.

The second track sounds unfinished, made by coincidences. Maybe that's your intension?

Despite the criticism, I think you are on the right way. It seems to me that you are motivated and that's important!!

I have downloaded only two tracks ( http://www.progarchives.com/forum/Steve_n_Edge_Classic_2004_mix.zip - 4.SW "J" n Edge classic 5:06 and http://www.progarchives.com/forum/Empty_Heads.zip - 9.Empty heads 3:50 ).

Taud Your review of his music was nice and encouraging, but I wasn't being disrespectful nor anyone else for that matter .I was just being Honest and Direct but still encouraged him. I just didn't sugar coat it.

I wonder if he read this ? I doubt it . Maybe someone should email it to him.

Aztech wrote: Taud Your review of his music was nice and encouraging, but I wasn't being disrespectful nor anyone else for that matter .I was just being Honest and Direct but still encouraged him. I just didn't sugar coat it.

I don't understand the "problem"

Aztec feels guilty about being too hard on SW.

danbo wrote: Aztec feels guilty about being too hard on SW.

Yes but it is what he feels

He was honnest, so what is the problem ? ()

Oh no problem and no guilt either , just pointing out I was not being disrespectful as you mentionned Thaud ,thats all

quote : " I don’t want to dissect your music like the others but I’d like to give you some suggestions "

OOOOUUUUPPPPSSSS am I ever red in the face While pasting this I realised you said dissect not disrespect .... my apologies  i'm blushing now !

LOL

I was curious, I couldn't think of why you'd be embarrassed by Tauhd's remarks. Glad it's your lack of reading skills and not Tauhd's English.

My belly hurts.

Um...has anyone noticed that "sw" has apparently not returned to read any of our comments?  I wonder if s/he is still visiting the site (?).

Peace.

danbo wrote: I've noticed some are hit or miss. Maybe we scared him away. I don't think we were too harsh. You?

So.... what is the problem ?

I figured since we all took the time to answer I wrote him an email asking him to come and see our opinions .

Maybe he'll come back ? but the guy registered on feb 16 and has not been back since feb 18 .

So we'll wait and see .

Hi to all

First of all thank you very very much for listening and critisising...This means a lot to me...

I must apologise for not answering (thanks aztech for your mail) but after some days i said "Nobody read my post  so i never returned to the forums..)

I also know that what i made with these 2 songs was a Pink Porcupine Floyd Tree mix   lol     So i took your critisism pretty warm!! I didnt want someone to tell me "ah very nice...good good.."   And i believe getting a critisism like "You ve got potential but your music is not good is the best thing for me so i can get as better as i can!!

Anyway...so  how old is everyone here? Im 19 and im a guy 

Ps:Tauhd thank you for your syggestions   

hey...

you realised i had a stratocaster???? :P:P:P:P

and what does stroking mean???  :P:P:P

swmyg0d0fmusic wrote: hey...   you realised i had a stratocaster???? :P:P:P:P and what does stroking mean???  :P:P:P

Made by Leo Fender or a japanese copy ?

copy im afraid... my first guitar

You play a strat, pictures on yer web site. By "stroking" I mean practicing, there's a lot of dirty minds on this forum..... what you say, Schfifty -Five.

You're welcome for the email swmyg0d0fmusic.

I'm glad you take constructive critisim well.

Keep practicing and making prog !