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Rewriting classics... #1: Hotel California

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Category: Topics not related to music
Forum Name: Just for Fun
Forum Description: Participate in trivia and knowledge games, share jokes, etc.
URL: http://www.progarchives.com/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=124881
Printed Date: November 23 2024 at 10:46
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Topic: Rewriting classics... #1: Hotel California
Posted By: suitkees
Subject: Rewriting classics... #1: Hotel California
Date Posted: December 19 2020 at 09:19
This idea came to me thanks to another thread... There is a lot of creativity wandering around here, so I think we, together, we can do much better than some of those pop/rock/prog classic artists : Let us rewrite some lyrics.

The rules:
1. One line per post (to stimulate the collaborative effort).
2. It has to sound a bit like the original (rhyme, sounding like... like kids who mimic a song without knowing what they're actually singing).
3. It also has to fit the number of feet of the verses (more or less).
4. Respect the length of the original song.

The aim is, hypothetically, to make a kind of band-aid youtube video on which we can all sing together this classic song with our new lyrics in order to help out forumers that have gone astray... (In the last post, I will combine all the lines into one lyric to help us with the rehearsals).

In a good prog tradition, the lyrics don't necessarily have to make much sense...
And don't hesitate to start a Rewriting classics #2, if you feel a certain urge...

I will start things off...


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The razamataz is a pain in the bum



Replies:
Posted By: suitkees
Date Posted: December 19 2020 at 09:20
On a lark shepherd's pie day, a drool went in my ear

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The razamataz is a pain in the bum


Posted By: suitkees
Date Posted: December 19 2020 at 09:22
One dwell of Conchitas, climbing up through my hair


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The razamataz is a pain in the bum


Posted By: JD
Date Posted: December 19 2020 at 17:17
Cup of bread called long distance, My ma a blistering fight


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Thank you for supporting independently produced music


Posted By: tigerfeet
Date Posted: December 19 2020 at 17:50
My beer grew heavy and the lights did spin

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I'm sorry, if you were right, I'd agree with you. Robin Williams.


Posted By: TCat
Date Posted: December 19 2020 at 18:53
I had to flop on a kite.

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https://ibb.co/8x0xjR0" rel="nofollow">


Posted By: Heart of the Matter
Date Posted: December 19 2020 at 19:22
Reached his hand in the pocket


Posted By: suitkees
Date Posted: December 20 2020 at 02:39
To find my key to hell


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The razamataz is a pain in the bum


Posted By: JD
Date Posted: December 20 2020 at 07:30
Anglagard is sitting on a shelf


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Thank you for supporting independently produced music


Posted By: BaldFriede
Date Posted: December 20 2020 at 08:17
Or a pimpernel


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BaldJean and I; I am the one in blue.


Posted By: suitkees
Date Posted: December 20 2020 at 09:08
Then he lift up the handle, and shoved her in the tray


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The razamataz is a pain in the bum


Posted By: TCat
Date Posted: December 20 2020 at 09:49
There were chickens in the scary door, I brought a bird that say:

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https://ibb.co/8x0xjR0" rel="nofollow">


Posted By: suitkees
Date Posted: December 20 2020 at 10:10
"Mushrooms in the ears of Lady Gina"


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The razamataz is a pain in the bum


Posted By: Heart of the Matter
Date Posted: December 20 2020 at 13:20
Take a card and play (take a card and play)
Take a bill and pay


Posted By: TCat
Date Posted: December 20 2020 at 13:40
Plenty of 'shrooms at the postal palace for ya

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https://ibb.co/8x0xjR0" rel="nofollow">


Posted By: JD
Date Posted: December 20 2020 at 14:03
Amy's tiny ear (Amy's tiny ear)
Hugh can't buy a beer


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Thank you for supporting independently produced music


Posted By: suitkees
Date Posted: December 20 2020 at 14:44
Hugh's beer got Amy listed, she got a cat and friends


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The razamataz is a pain in the bum


Posted By: JD
Date Posted: December 21 2020 at 05:13
She caught a lot of sticky, sticky toys
That we all bend


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Thank you for supporting independently produced music


Posted By: Heart of the Matter
Date Posted: December 21 2020 at 06:32
What a sad intervenience
it's sticking the tail


Posted By: JD
Date Posted: December 21 2020 at 07:16
There's snow in the driveway
And my snowblower failed


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Thank you for supporting independently produced music


Posted By: TCat
Date Posted: December 21 2020 at 09:58
So I hauled up the capstan,
"Please bring me my knife"


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https://ibb.co/8x0xjR0" rel="nofollow">


Posted By: suitkees
Date Posted: December 21 2020 at 10:31
And Gina said "Be careful with that utensil, it can cut you in five"


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The razamataz is a pain in the bum


Posted By: TCat
Date Posted: December 21 2020 at 10:34
And dill pickles are falling from Uruguay

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https://ibb.co/8x0xjR0" rel="nofollow">


Posted By: suitkees
Date Posted: December 21 2020 at 10:53
Spicing up all the fiddles in your tights


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The razamataz is a pain in the bum


Posted By: JD
Date Posted: December 21 2020 at 11:18
Doesn't make you gay


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Thank you for supporting independently produced music


Posted By: suitkees
Date Posted: December 21 2020 at 11:23
Mushrooms in the ears of Lady Gina


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The razamataz is a pain in the bum


Posted By: JD
Date Posted: December 21 2020 at 11:38
Sue is such a slut (Sue is such a slut)
Living in a hut


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Thank you for supporting independently produced music


Posted By: TCat
Date Posted: December 21 2020 at 14:00
They divvying up that good, old pack of bologna

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https://ibb.co/8x0xjR0" rel="nofollow">


Posted By: Heart of the Matter
Date Posted: December 21 2020 at 14:39
Troglodytes are nice (Troglodytes are nice)
Cro-Magnons alike


Posted By: JD
Date Posted: December 21 2020 at 14:42
Mickey's started peeling


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Thank you for supporting independently produced music


Posted By: progaardvark
Date Posted: December 21 2020 at 14:45
His comb-over has lice


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i'm shopping for a new oil-cured sinus bag
that's a happy bag of lettuce
this car smells like cartilage
nothing beats a good video about fractions


Posted By: JD
Date Posted: December 21 2020 at 14:47
Then he said "Where is the pot and my dry ice?"


-------------
Thank you for supporting independently produced music


Posted By: suitkees
Date Posted: December 21 2020 at 14:52
And in the lice remainders


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The razamataz is a pain in the bum


Posted By: JD
Date Posted: December 21 2020 at 14:52
Galadriel slayed the troll beast

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Thank you for supporting independently produced music


Posted By: suitkees
Date Posted: December 21 2020 at 14:55
He grabbed him in his greasy thighs


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The razamataz is a pain in the bum


Posted By: JD
Date Posted: December 21 2020 at 14:56
But I just can't raise the yeast

-------------
Thank you for supporting independently produced music


Posted By: suitkees
Date Posted: December 21 2020 at 15:03
Barking in December, it was


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The razamataz is a pain in the bum


Posted By: JD
Date Posted: December 21 2020 at 15:06
Searching for my Brador


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Thank you for supporting independently produced music


Posted By: progaardvark
Date Posted: December 21 2020 at 17:41
I ate my way through a thumbtack

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----------
i'm shopping for a new oil-cured sinus bag
that's a happy bag of lettuce
this car smells like cartilage
nothing beats a good video about fractions


Posted By: Heart of the Matter
Date Posted: December 21 2020 at 18:03
Drinking tequila galore


Posted By: TCat
Date Posted: December 21 2020 at 18:46
"Some slacks!" said England Dan, 
"We've been ordered to reweave.


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https://ibb.co/8x0xjR0" rel="nofollow">


Posted By: Heart of the Matter
Date Posted: December 21 2020 at 20:45
Is this about something you want
but you can never ask?


Posted By: suitkees
Date Posted: December 22 2020 at 02:48
Clap to all! We've been rewriting this major classic in record time. The band management contacted me to offer us a contract for writing the next Eagles album (negotiations are going...but our price is high).

The complete lyrics:

On a lark shepherd's pie day, a drool went in my ear
One dwell of Conchitas, climbing up through my hair
Cup of bread called long distance, My ma a blistering fight
My beer grew heavy and the lights did spin
I had to flop on a kite.

Reached his hand in the pocket
To find my key to hell
Anglagard is sitting on a shelf
Or a pimpernel
Then he lift up the handle, and shoved her in the tray
There were chickens in the scary door, I brought a bird that say:

"Mushrooms in the ears of Lady Gina"
Take a card and play (take a card and play)
Take a bill and pay
Plenty of 'shrooms at the postal palace for ya
Amy's tiny ear (Amy's tiny ear)
Hugh can't buy a beer

Hugh's beer got Amy listed, she got a cat and friends
She caught a lot of sticky, sticky toys
That we all bend
What a sad intervenience, it's sticking the tail
There's snow in the driveway, And my snowblower failed

So I hauled up the capstan,
"Please bring me my knife"
And Gina said "Be careful with that utensil,
it can cut you in five"
And dill pickles are falling from Uruguay
Spicing up all the fiddles in your tights
Doesn't make you gay

Mushrooms in the ears of Lady Gina
Sue is such a slut (Sue is such a slut)
Living in a hut
They divvying up that good, old pack of bologna
Troglodytes are nice (Troglodytes are nice)
Cro-Magnons alike

Mickey's started peeling
His comb-over has lice
Then he said "Where is the pot and my dry ice?"
And in the lice remainders
Galadriel slayed the troll beast
He grabbed him in his greasy thighs
But I just can't raise the yeast

Barking in December, it was
Searching for my Brador
I ate my way through a thumbtack
Drinking tequila galore
"Some slacks!" said England Dan,
"We've been ordered to reweave.
Is this about something you want
but you can never ask?


-------------

The razamataz is a pain in the bum



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