During my (ongoing) checking of the thousands of reviews on this site, I’ve come across some classic comments. Here are some which caught my eye (I’ve avoided naming the reviewers or the albums to protect the guilty!):

-         If Jilly Goulden was reviewing this album, she'd probably say "I'm getting Hawkwind, Floyd, Jefferson Airplane and Focus - I'm getting Sandalwood, Patchouli... holy $^&* I'm getting freaked out!"

-         one wonders how the dream " that music and peace could change the world" did not come about when listening to this. One should have force-fed this album to Dickie Nixon and maybe

-         Anyone who has visited Kathmandu would really appreciate this album,

-         Huummm...this album smells flowers, peace and drugs influences

-         if you are actually suicidal, depressed, whiney, angry at the world, this band could be for you

-         no sign of the pretendious complexibility and mindless light-speed shredding that YES had. Buy it! Now when those AOR-rednecks, who don't have an eye for irony and sarcasm, have gone to the record shop, I say to you who had enough intelligence to read further: No, really, this is total crap.

-         Warning!!!! This album is real hazard to anybody's mental health and not just because of the radiations…..Only recommended to terrorist , nuclear physicists and babies under two years of age!

-         If I don't finish this review , it will be the fault of double U and his friends of tolerance zero knocking on my door because the terorist I must be full of oil-mass destructing weapons hidden away behind the Mosque disguised as my garden shed .

-         mind my words: POP-PORG

-         Basically a waste of talent, could have done so much more. Like having Barry Bonds bunt. (EL – Any baseball fans will understand that one)

-         I must admit that- ¨we humans do need to realize that time is passing by without us seeing that opportunities are lost in favor of some useless meanderings...¨ What I'm I talking about...?

-         not too entertaining all the time. i'd give it 5 stars, but i wouldn't say it is essential.

-         However, this is not a masterpiece in the same vein as Selling England By The Pound, Darwin! or In the court of the crimson king, so i guess five stars would be sufficient.

-         This music is slightly show-tuney as my Mom pointed out, but thats what she says about all prog.

-         Being a prog addict is such a difficult status to handle, you know. Actually, this situation can change you into an overtly depressed guy, always hiding behind your own spectacles, afraid to show a now forgotten smile lost into your own beard's hair. In such circumstances, you'll do anything to help you out at recovering a decent life. To consolidate your faith in the progressive idioma, you'll surprise yourself at being suddenly open to eveything that would gently crosses your ears. Including not being anymore able to recognize what's progressive from what's not.

-         if you dont like this album of perfectly concocted music you must be a very sad t**ser who is a lazy stuck up person who needs to stop loving cliff richard and have a good listen to this masterpiece

-         I must say that I am 100% dissapointed. This album is a huge waist.

-         So that you should have a small idea of the magnificent thing that is this work of Asia, my six-year-old son almost every night says to me: Pope we are going to listen to the disc of Asia, that I like much.

-         Like a fever...Lyrics and Solos make heart burst with blood and body tremble with cold even the body is as hot as red-hot cinder also take consciousness faraway to a "Dream Theater" which plays at "Echoe`s hill". The instrumental solos are beyond perfect that they unearth the human insticts with ease when the words are useless.Sometimes a chaos which covers your ego and makes you unsure as if you're not really yourself, sometimes male and female orgasms occur between two little notes.I guess it is nonsense explain so just live Dream Theater.

-         Still, not the worst music in the world, but thier is better. Get it if you want to. I LOVE LIZ.

-         I like Dream Theater. They are a sweet band. I saw them last year in finladn...WOW!! it knocked the socks off me man. Anyway, I guess I'm supposed to talk in a smart manner, but I am not very good at that. I think im also supposed to write a min. of 50 words so..im just gonna copy and paste what i just wrote underneath this....I like Dream Theater. They are a sweet band. I saw them last year in finladn...WOW!! it knocked the socks off me man. Anyway, I guess I'm supposed to talk in a smart manner, but I am not very good at that. I think im also supposed to write a min. of 50 words so..im just gonna copy and paste what i just wrote underneath this....

-         However, this is an album that no one must not hear.

-         Very different from the next album, this first recording is a sort of beta/pop music; but i found it very sweat, and it's onw peculiar way very good.

-         Consider how pathetic a birth "rock" had in England. The parents were all foreigners: Americans with names like Blues, Rock and Roll, Scholck-pop-folk, etc.,

-         Listening both I am imaging to be somewhere deep in mountains, hidden in a wooden cottage, in the black night outside there is a snowy thunder, inside a fire is silently murmuring and all the people sitting around the fireplace and drinking some wine are talking fairies.

-         An album for the those who love the sound of music! (EL ; For Julie Andrews fans then?)

-         Suppers Ready is the reason for buying this album.Probably the greatest prog track ever recorded.The lyrics are plain barmy (even by prog standards) ,if Monty Python had written a prog song then this would be it.

-         I have blown 2 speakers in my car listening to this album over the years, and I think I am on my third!

-         Sometimes it seems that Mike Rutherford is sitting beside you at the sofa playing his base guitar, but I love it because I can almost see his fingers moving cross his snares! What a genius!

-         .Peter Gabriel will always be my favorite vocalist and Dancing out on a moonlit night still sends chills up my back.Fifth of firth has my favorite keyboard part (EL -  I presume he didn't have his reading glasses on!?)

-         No prog collection would be complete w/o this album,but it is not for everyone.

-         Please, I´m CALLING ALL STATIONS, I want MANY TOO MANY to get this great little album. Right now I feel I´m INSIDE AND OUT, or like a MAN ON THE CORNER, because I don´t know where I could obtain it. I don´t ask myself LIKE IT OR NOT this EP; I´m sure that I really would like TURN IT ON AGAIN; PLEASE DON´T ASK ME why, but if you know A TRICK OF THE TAIL, teach me it. I hope that some day I could DANCE ON A VOLCANO, happy with my SPOT THE PIGEONS at my hands, feeling like AFTERGLOW. THAT´S ALL.

-         another pointless band. not prog. invisible touch prog, dont make me laugh what a load of bollocks, phil collins is a lousy singer why are a 80s pop band in the prog website it even has radiohead , what the hell is this about , bloody pop music, prog is not pop. please choose sensible bands for future additions goodness me, absolute crap. we expect to pay for this [&*!#] it not fair and its not right in 1986 this album should have been boycotted i may as well listen to barbie girl by aqua.

-         The album was named (quite rightly) after the title song,

-         well i was telled that genesis is great band from english so i decided to be buy "selling england by the bound". it was horible, too long songs, whine wocalist, whad?!?!: medieval and folk müzik putted there and no god chorus!!! or modulation in end of songs! it was crap!

-         In grade school, the teachers would make us sing along with the usual children's songs like Raffi's "Baby Beluga" or Charlotte Diamond's "Four Hugs A Day" or "I Am A Pizza," and did I enjoy those songs immensely (and what kindergarten or grade 1 to 3 wouldn't?).    (EL – Altogether now then  “I am a Pizza”)

-         Never bought it....but know enough off it to hate

-         This FINAL Genesis studio album should have been titled "We Can't Write Good Music Anymore",

-         This Steaming fess pit of repusively dated eighties synth pop is so horribly gruesome it is not even worthy of being metioned in the same sentence as an excriment hermiting in the nether regions of peter gabriel's toilet bowel

-         well.......i havent even heard this one....but I am sure it sucks. There ought to be a law regarding the use of band names after the departure of two lead singers.

-         I love the way reviews all follow from what the person above put, get some [%*!#]ing indiviuality,

-         This record really sounds like the prog band STARCASTLE! (EL - Review of Close to the edge by Yes)

-         If you don't own this record then I want 100 lines of 'I am a very bad boy and promise to go down to my local record shop and buy it straight away'

-         When Voyager was launched, it should have taken a copy of this album with it so alien civilisations may experience what heights of creativity the human race is actually capable of.

-         Don't blame Yes, blame Beethoven & his 3rd Symphony. Prog is about the freedom to be unhappy & let it out

-         I first heard it when I was shagging my girlfirend at her parents house and we could hear her brother playing (the first track) in his bedroom next door...really loud. It sounded fantastic...and made a very romantic evening even better!

-         dont think some yes fans just realize that this cd is more of a backround music, do something else while you listen to it folks!Read a book or something its good for you god #!)^%&*!  i like it, and you should toO!

-         This demands full attention but then again Yes was never music to fondle your girlfriend by. This is probably why Moraz went on to join the Moody Blunders in the 80's - to diddle some flesh with both hands after having programmed his synths.

-         In my book, giving this album less than a 5 star mark is a gigantic felony of underrate - I don't believe in death penalty, but I do believe in denial of bail, and I wonder what a sensible lawyer could argue in favour of his defended, anyway.

-         Maybe they could keep playing this album at Guantamo Bay till the terrorists start talking, And I haven't even mentioned the lyrics yet

-         I would classify Down In The Sewer by The Stranglers in the same league as the long song off Going For The One.

And here’s some on-line translator classics:

-         This listen is better live album to me that I have felt between those escapes in last twenty years!

-         Creed that these pack- saddles!

-         the something of new succeeding to being little personal but making me to come the tears for what it could be the Progressive ones if they were not never uniforms. I do not know if i explain myself!

-         Not technician like other of the discography is however melted that with the best feeling. And with the lacks of the DT a lot quite masked.

-         Music that overflows sweet melody and freshly. A mutable feeling inconsolably drifts.

-         Of album similar I have some listens to many but creed to you that this is the song of the swan of second Genesis

-         Creed that with this LP the Genesis has touched the bottom!

-         This album did not make me vibrated

-         He is not simple to understand, also because you do not notice of to have arrived to the end. This to times is a merit... To times... And here it is not a merit. However an enormous LP remains, advised to all.

-         Music with which throb feeling overflows

And finally, does this album rank as the longest one ever posted?:

http://www.progarchives.com/Review.asp?id=35831 - http://www.progarchives.com/Review.asp?id=35831

"The album was named (quite rightly) after the title song,"  That is just great.

How about my favourite from braindamage's review of Ummagumma - "The space with heat and terrible has been born in the live recording."?

BaldFriede wrote: Easy Livin wrote: -         I must say that I am 100% dissapointed. This album is a huge waist. I especially like this one . http://www.progarchives.com/Review.asp?id=35831 - http://www.progarchives.com/Review.asp?id=35831 And the long-winded one - man, learn to get to the point.

Wow, 4966 words on Octavarium. I wonder if anyone ever read it all?

I'm getting the impression that this album was not too popular with the reviewer -

"This Steaming fess pit of repusively dated eighties synth pop is so horribly gruesome it is not even worthy of being metioned in the same sentence as an excriment hermiting in the nether regions of peter gabriel's toilet bowel"

-         I like Dream Theater. They are a sweet band. I saw them last year in finladn...WOW!! it knocked the socks off me man. Anyway, I guess I'm supposed to talk in a smart manner, but I am not very good at that. I think im also supposed to write a min. of 50 words so..im just gonna copy and paste what i just wrote underneath this....I like Dream Theater. They are a sweet band. I saw them last year in finladn...WOW!! it knocked the socks off me man. Anyway, I guess I'm supposed to talk in a smart manner, but I am not very good at that. I think im also supposed to write a min. of 50 words so..im just gonna copy and paste what i just wrote underneath this....

 Damn This guy has an awesome sence of humour... lets leave this

^ that actually really made me laugh!

But maybe its just my lame sence of humor

Thats hilarious

but at the same time kinda sad

My favourite-one of the Great Romantics Of Our Time:

   I first heard it when I was shagging my girlfirend at her parents house and we could hear her brother playing (the first track) in his bedroom next door...really loud. It sounded fantastic...and made a very romantic evening even better!

Byron couldnt have put it better

Easy Livin wrote:  -         This album did not make me vibrated -

me neither...

BaldFriede wrote: chopper wrote: I'm getting the impression that this album was not too popular with the reviewer - "This Steaming fess pit of repusively dated eighties synth pop is so horribly gruesome it is not even worthy of being metioned in the same sentence as an excriment hermiting in the nether regions of peter gabriel's toilet bowel" Yes, but this nice sentence loses a bit due to the misspelling of "excrement". "metioned" and "fess pit" (he probably means "cesspit") I take for typos. And of course there is no such verb as "to hermit" (though it is a nice idea). And also, of course, it is "toilet bowl" and not "toilet bowel".

no, that's part of the beauty of it...

italprogfan wrote: Easy Livin wrote:  -         This album did not make me vibrated -   me neither...

Was it a Vibrators album by any chance?

regarding my review of close to the edge:

This is one of the best YES' albums. Some parts are really complex and rhythm changing. The epic track "Close to the Edge" contains outstanding lead & backing vocals; the airs are very catchy and addictive. Squire's bass is very bottom and loud. Wakeman's keyboards can be floating, rhythmic and melodic: there is a very vibrant church organ part. Howe's electric guitar is very good, and Bruford's drums are quite elaborated. Nobody steals the show here: the musicians play together and the good cohesion is obvious. The weak point of the album: the 3 first minutes on "Close to the Edge" are a bit irritating and Howe's guitar sound VERY coarse and goes nowhere!

"And You and I" has more acoustic elements. Wakeman's floating mellotron and Howe's spatial guitar are very impressive. "Siberian Kathru" is the most accessible one: great vocals arrangements, the bass is very bottom, loud and complex, as always. This record really sounds like the prog band STARCASTLE!

HIGHLY RECOMMENDED!

Bob (Easy), this is an intelligent way to tell people who like close to the edge and want similar stuff that there is a band named starcastle who does the same music!

you have to be VERY careful when it is time to "judge" reviews!

Sorry Greenback, I admit I did take your quote out of context, hence one of the reasons I didn't give names.

I asumed your comment about Starcastle was made in jest, since they are always accused of being copycats of Yes' sound.

Your review was fine of course, and no criticism was intended.

An Easy review  !!

Some of the reviews that you  quoted are funny!

I read all the quotes...hoping to not find one of my reviews quoted!

Some of my reviews start with some memories of how I listened to an album for the first time, like :  "My father bought this album for the family in 1970...". It `s good to see that my style of writing in some reviews is not considered in the "funny quality" classification!

  !"This music is slightly show-tuney as my Mom pointed out, but thats what she says about all prog. "

my family used to criticise my prog  by calling it "wailey-wailey" music!!

greenback wrote: regarding my review of close to the edge: This is one of the best YES' albums. Some parts are really complex and rhythm changing. The epic track "Close to the Edge" contains outstanding lead & backing vocals; the airs are very catchy and addictive. Squire's bass is very bottom and loud. Wakeman's keyboards can be floating, rhythmic and melodic: there is a very vibrant church organ part. Howe's electric guitar is very good, and Bruford's drums are quite elaborated. Nobody steals the show here: the musicians play together and the good cohesion is obvious. The weak point of the album: the 3 first minutes on "Close to the Edge" are a bit irritating and Howe's guitar sound VERY coarse and goes nowhere! "And You and I" has more acoustic elements. Wakeman's floating mellotron and Howe's spatial guitar are very impressive. "Siberian Kathru" is the most accessible one: great vocals arrangements, the bass is very bottom, loud and complex, as always. This record really sounds like the prog band STARCASTLE! HIGHLY RECOMMENDED! Bob (Easy), this is an intelligent way to tell people who like close to the edge and want similar stuff that there is a band named starcastle who does the same music! you have to be VERY careful when it is time to "judge" reviews!

It still doesn't make sense greenback. Starcastle sounds like Yes, Yes doesn't sounds like Starcastle.

Joren wrote: greenback wrote: regarding my review of close to the edge: This is one of the best YES' albums. Some parts are really complex and rhythm changing. The epic track "Close to the Edge" contains outstanding lead & backing vocals; the airs are very catchy and addictive. Squire's bass is very bottom and loud. Wakeman's keyboards can be floating, rhythmic and melodic: there is a very vibrant church organ part. Howe's electric guitar is very good, and Bruford's drums are quite elaborated. Nobody steals the show here: the musicians play together and the good cohesion is obvious. The weak point of the album: the 3 first minutes on "Close to the Edge" are a bit irritating and Howe's guitar sound VERY coarse and goes nowhere! "And You and I" has more acoustic elements. Wakeman's floating mellotron and Howe's spatial guitar are very impressive. "Siberian Kathru" is the most accessible one: great vocals arrangements, the bass is very bottom, loud and complex, as always. This record really sounds like the prog band STARCASTLE! HIGHLY RECOMMENDED! Bob (Easy), this is an intelligent way to tell people who like close to the edge and want similar stuff that there is a band named starcastle who does the same music! you have to be VERY careful when it is time to "judge" reviews! It still doesn't make sense greenback. Starcastle sounds like Yes, Yes doesn't sounds like Starcastle.

you won't argue with a guy who owns 2 bachelor's degrees in science and applied science:

if starcastle sounds like yes, then yes sounds like starcastle. end of demonstration.