I was lying in bed listening to Wagner's "Ride of the VALKYRIES" whilst reading John Wyndham's "The KRAKEN Wakes". I needed some early morning HYDRAtion so I brewed up a cup of tea using my bedside GOBLIN Teasmade. I believe a nice cup of tea is ELEMENTAL for a perfect start to the day and a house is not a GNOME without a kettle. I heard an ambulance SIREN pass by my window and it reminded me that I had an appointment for a routine medical down at the ELF CENTAUR. I needed to SPIRIT myself up out of bed or I wouldn't stand a GHOST of a chance of making it on time for my appointment. I went into the bathroom to GARGOYLE on some mouthwash to get rid of my early morning DRAGON'S breath. Feeling SPRITEly now, I went downstairs into the kitchen for breakfast and sat down. My BLACK DOG Benny was SATYR by my side at the table and waiting for his early morning treat of GORGONzola cheese on toast. I had a few minutes to spare so I briefly logged on to the internet to view the latest PIXIE-lated images. I hadn't experienced any computer GREMLINS just lately, but I still had to be careful to avoid the usual bunch of internet TROLLS and NYMPHos. I was hoping to find long-term romance on the web and YET I knew in reality that's just a CHIMERA, because being hit by CUPID'S arrow and finding everlasting love online is about as rare as finding a UNICORN or seeing the LOCH NESS MONSTER. It was time to set off for my medical appointment so I went out the door and climbed into my Hillman IMP, feeling a bit ORKward after tripping over a ROC in the rush to get to my car.

The ELF CENTAUR is located within a huge BEHEMOTH of a hospital on the outskirts of town. it's a GIANT CARBUNCLE of a building WITCH DWARFS all the other buildings surrounding it. The long hospital corridors are like a MINOTAUR'S labyrinth and trying to find your way around is a bit like trying to solve the riddle of the SPHINX. I drove alongside the river, WITCH winds like a SERPENT through the city, but I had a DEVIL of a time finding my way through the traffic on the way to the clinic and I'd now need the luck of a LEPRECHAUN to make it there on time. When I arrived 10 minutes late for my appointment, the irate receptionist greeted me with an angry MEDUSA'S stare like a BASILISK. The nurses there are real ANGELS though and NAIAD no problems at all during my routine medical. I was soon on my way and I stopped off on my way home at my favourite pub, the GRIFFIN Arms. It's a real JINN palace that rose like a PHOENIX from the ashes after a recent fire there. The landlord of the pub is a bit of an OGRE with a GHOULish sense of humour. I put my BIG FOOT in it with him by ordering the DEMON drink of SPIRITS when he knew I was driving home. By the time I left the pub it was dark outside in December and the FAIRY lights were lit up in the street with some in the shape of a MERMAID. I could briefly see the constellation of PEGASUS up in the night sky, before it disappeared behind a bank of cloud like a WILL 'O' THE WISP.

My girlfriend GENIE is a GOTH who's into the music of Siouxsie and the BANSHEES. We're going to watch a MONSTER movie together later and it's a choice between "An American WEREWOLF in London" or "Interview with a VAMPIRE". We're off on our holidays together soon to Israel where we plan to visit the GOLEM Heights.