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you and your family's values

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Topic: you and your family's values
Posted By: infocat
Subject: you and your family's values
Date Posted: June 19 2016 at 11:42
I find that I don't share the same political or religious values of any of my immediate family.
My mother and sister are to my left.  My sister is not religious.  My mother is "new-age religious".

While I am more left than right politically, its only nominally.  I am "a-religious".

The rest of my family, father, brother, step-mother and her children who I grew up with from (my) ages 7 - 19, are all quite a bit to the right, and relatively religious.  One step brother, who is less than one month younger than me, and with whom I shared a bedroom from age 7-17, I would term as fairly far-right in that he has guns and, shall we say, is not a fan of the government.

I also have a half-brother (mother's side) who as far as I can tell has not a political or religious thought in his head.  Of course he could just be hiding it.  Smile

What is strange to me is that, even though we (father, step-mother and that combined family) attended (Catholic) church every week, other than my step-mother (700 Club watcher...) I never really noticed any particular outward religious inclination in anyone else in the family.  But now most are, to varying degrees (not sure about my younger step-brother, to he honest), fairly religious.  Most have families and children of their own.  Only myself (unmarried), my married sister and unmarried half-brother have no children.  The ones that do have children are the more religious and right-leaning.  Is that a coincidence?  I don't know.

My same-age step-brother perplexes me the most.  Growing up he was the, shall we say, least-conforming of the kids.  Did poorly in school, "partied" (alcohol invovled, at least, but I don't think he ever "did drugs"), not remotely religious.  But now he is a gun-owner and has a lot to say about any government involvement in his life.  Not honestly sure where he stands on religion.  I really have only seen him a few times in the last 15-20 years, and while I respect him as a person (he's smart, if not "schooled", and owns his own business), I really can't stand to listen to him "discuss" (rant and rave?) politics, which he tends to love to do.  So I avoid him in general, and feel a bit guilty about doing so...

Anyway, enough rambling.  But if others would like to share on this topic I think it could be interesting.



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--
Frank Swarbrick
Belief is not Truth.



Replies:
Posted By: Polymorphia
Date Posted: June 19 2016 at 14:42
Politically, my parents are conservative, oldest brother is right libertarian, other brother is social liberal, younger sister is conservative, and the other one doesn't think much about politics. I suppose I'm something of a moderate, but it's not as if I wear those stripes proudly or anything.

Religiously, my family, including myself, is Protestant, all churchgoers, except for the second oldest brother who is agnostic.


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https://dreamwindow.bandcamp.com/releases" rel="nofollow - My Music


Posted By: The T
Date Posted: June 19 2016 at 14:49
My family was never too religious. Never the type to go to church on Sunday, even though Ecuador, where I grew up, is like 90% or more Catholic. Nowadays after we all have moved somewhere, my sister in Switzerland is Christian but not affiliated to any specific church. Same with mother here in the US though not overtly so. My dad here doesn't really care much though he believes in a god. I'm the only full atheist here.

Politically, they all are around the center. I'm the only that's fully in the left

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Posted By: Guldbamsen
Date Posted: June 19 2016 at 15:10
My parents come from completely different backgrounds, so I gather I got the best of two worlds. My mother is a country girl with magical powers in the kitchen. She has no degrees of anything of that sort, but she is emotionally wise and tend to look right through people, myself included. My dad on the other hand comes from a long line of theatre/movie folks and has worked with pretty much every interesting Danish actor/director. He reads all the time and that has probably rubbed off to his son. While both very different from one another they've always worked as a team in raising me and my younger sister the best way they could.
No religion but lots of ethics and kindness in general. I feel lucky.

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“The Guide says there is an art to flying or rather a knack. The knack lies in learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss.”

- Douglas Adams


Posted By: emigre80
Date Posted: June 19 2016 at 16:14
My mother was a life-long socialist and atheist. So am I.
 
My father is a real sh*t. I am not.
 
So I share the values of 50% of my parents.


Posted By: Ozark Soundscape
Date Posted: June 19 2016 at 16:26
Dad: Ex-Republican, still right-wing. Liberal, non-denominational Christian.
Mom: Casually-right-wing. Middle-of-the-road, non-denominational Christian.
Brother: Not very political; vaguely liberal, I guess. Casually Christian.
Me: Centrist/liberal independent. Religiously indifferent/agnostic.


Posted By: A Person
Date Posted: June 19 2016 at 17:01
my father: pretty conservative, very Catholic in beliefs
my mother: more moderate but still on the right, seems to be Catholic but not as devout as my father
my siblings: I have one sister who is more left than the rest, but the others are more middling in political/religious beliefs
me: politically a libertarian socialist, so just about as left as you could be, religiously: agnostic atheist, as far as existential beliefs go I would consider myself an absurdist a la Camus.

I don't talk about my political/philosophical/religious/etc with my family at all.


Posted By: Logan
Date Posted: June 19 2016 at 17:53
Mother: left-leaning, agnostic
Father: centrist, somewhat religious
Brother two: church going agnostic, centrist
Eldest Brother: hardcore atheist, centrist to right maybe
Wife: Christian, apolitical
Me: agnostic atheist and don't like to place myself on the political spectrum, though surveys would say that I'm more socialist. I admire people who are on the left, centrist and on the right. In some ways I am quite conservative and in others socialist. I'm very interested in politics, very big on environmental issues, a proponent of rationalism and empiricism, but have little political affiliation.

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https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLXcp9fYc6K4IKuxIZkenfvukL_Y8VBqzK" rel="nofollow - Duos for fave acts


Posted By: ClemofNazareth
Date Posted: June 19 2016 at 18:37
My parents are extremely religious fundamentalists and very conservative Republicans. So are my brothers, although my youngest brother isn't as much of a Bible-thumper. My sister isn't particularly religious but is a conservative.

I'm pretty much the opposite on all counts, but am generally considered the one who turned out most 'normal'.

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"Peace is the only battle worth waging."

Albert Camus


Posted By: Atavachron
Date Posted: June 19 2016 at 18:41
So many American families here are conservative I wonder if they all can't be wrong.  Then again I wasn't raised in a religious house. 

Maybe it's about faith more than belief.



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"Too often we enjoy the comfort of opinion without the discomfort of thought."   -- John F. Kennedy


Posted By: emigre80
Date Posted: June 19 2016 at 19:11
my grandmother was a conservative, but she was crazy and not very bright so we never had to pay any attention to it.


Posted By: darksinger
Date Posted: June 19 2016 at 20:03
my parents are conservative. I am slightly right of Genghis Khan.

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Posted By: Man With Hat
Date Posted: June 19 2016 at 20:24
My parents are center-left. Both of them were raised mildly religiously (different religions) consisting of nothing out of the ordinary. Though now my dad really doesn't practice at all (except little things like no meat on Fridays during lent) and my mom occasionally attends church when circumstances allow it.
 
 
Politically I'm fairly far to the left and I'm spiritual but not religious. I feel like my political views were mostly shaped by the world around me but the religious ones were more home grown.
 
Also, this is an excellent topic.


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Dig me...But don't...Bury me
I'm running still, I shall until, one day, I hope that I'll arrive
Warning: Listening to jazz excessively can cause a laxative effect.


Posted By: rogerthat
Date Posted: June 19 2016 at 21:05
I had expected a different topic when I read the thread caption.  Like, frugal v/s splurgy, generous v/s self centred, etc.  

Anyhow, basically we are all kind of in the center.  Not fervent believers but not atheists either.  We do go to temples every once in a while but rarely ever play religious music at home or on long rides (something that a lot of Indians do).  Quite a few of our relatives are more conservative and while we do otherwise get along splendidly with them, we are much more pro-freedom and anti-hardline-ism and haven't shied away from making our views clear on that subject.  Likewise, definitely not heavily left leaning but not rightist either.  

When I was in college, a professor dubbed me Doubting Thomas and I guess you could say my family as such is like that.  Extremely skeptical of people who park themselves in the corner with high and mighty certitude and tending to believe that the way the world is organised cannot be so easily explained.


Posted By: *frinspar*
Date Posted: June 19 2016 at 21:47
Dad was born in a small oil and peanut town built on fertile and beautiful red earth in Texas. Mom was born in San Antonio and raised in a small Texas oil town. Not the same one as Dad.
He was raised Baptist. She was raised Catholic.

He got a psychology degree from UT. She got a nursing degree from Incarnate Word.
He went on to business school and began working for Continental Bank out of Chicago. Then Trans Union Leasing. Then Gates Learjet. Then another bank. Then a concession supply business owner.
She spent time in the trenches as a dependable emergency room nurse for all her years after graduating, until my sister, and then I, came around. Then she just became a fantastic MOM. Love was never spared in our homes growing up. From either of them.

We were raised Catholic.
Dad got tired of the overbearing dogma and sought out something more palatable. He enjoyed the idea of a connection, but neither Baptist nor Catholic met his need.
Several years after my First Communion, Mom gave up her Holy Trinity card and we all started going to the Episcopal church that Dad had settled into.
Oh, yeah. Somewhere in there my sister and I both spent time in a Lutheran school.

While we were all tied to religion and faith, loosely and comfortably, they had a very liberal approach to raising me and my sister. We were acolytes. We were involved. But religion never guided their and, ultimately, our decisions.

Dad reflexively voted (R) most of his life, while never investing much in politics beyond what would allow his employers to profit the most. But it was also the last lingering part of the ingrained mentality he strove to leave behind in small-town Texas the minute he was old enough. Reagan's second term was his full turn-about. Mom had always been pretty liberal, despite her upbringing.

Suffice it to say, my sister and I are both sensible left-leaning realists with a fair knowledge of, but disconnected understanding of religion.

I think she's still more open to the idea of religious congregation than I am. I despise the idea of organized religion. Faith and religion are not the same. Organizing beliefs as a group is dangerous.


Posted By: TeleStrat
Date Posted: June 19 2016 at 22:10
My parents were WWII generation Midwestern conservatives. My Dad was a life long blue collar worker Democrat and my Mom refused to have anything to do with politics.
My older sisters pretty much followed my Mom's lead.
I do not like or trust any politician.
As far as my views, opinions and priorities, I am the opposite of at least eighty per cent of the people who post regularly here. 


Posted By: Icarium
Date Posted: June 19 2016 at 23:39
Originally posted by Guldbamsen Guldbamsen wrote:

My parents come from completely different backgrounds, so I gather I got the best of two worlds. My mother is a country girl with magical powers in the kitchen. She has no degrees of anything of that sort, but she is emotionally wise and tend to look right through people, myself included. My dad on the other hand comes from a long line of theatre/movie folks and has worked with pretty much every interesting Danish actor/director. He reads all the time and that has probably rubbed off to his son. While both very different from one another they've always worked as a team in raising me and my younger sister the best way they could.
No religion but lots of ethics and kindness in general. I feel lucky.
so your father have worked with Lars von Trier Shocked

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Posted By: JJLehto
Date Posted: June 20 2016 at 00:44
Both my parents are generally liberal and irreligious. 

My father is personally liberal but politically kind of...apathetic. Every election since 2000 (earliest I can realistically remember) said he was "not sure" and went into the voting booth undecided, but has voted Democratic always. He really never talks politics, and not sure it's something he thinks about much. 

My mother is so as well, and more so politically. She's a fairly dedicated and unwavering Democrat, voted for Carter both times, and even Mondale over Reagan Smile  though it's not blind following, she was intrigued by Perot and like Bush Sr  I don't know if she voted for Christie any time for governor of NJ but she did feel, at least at one point, he was necessary and was fed up with Democrats. Has said she's not into the idea of a $15 min wage and unions and taxing the rich. I'd say she's a fairly typical Democrat: socially liberal, economically meh moderate not really a thing. Same for Dad. 

Both are first generation born Americans, Dad's parents from Italy, Mom's from Ukraine, both sides came here poor and little to no education, the kind of typical American immigrant story of busting their asses all their life to provide their children a solid though modest life, which allowed them to springboard to a better life as adults and give my brother and I a very good middle class life, (though one that has been on the decline for 12ish years now!)

Religiously: My Father is Catholic, Mother Eastern Orthodox. My brother and I were raised Catholic and we went to church every Sunday, went to CCD, but honestly...outside those couple of hours on Sunday religion never came up at home. In a good or bad way it just, wasn't a thing in our family. When I stopped going to church they both quickly followed and I know both have made passing comments, even early in my life, about being perturbed by overly religious people especially in your face about it, so I think they are both absolutely indifferent to religion. No idea what my dad may believe, mom is the classic spiritual but not religious. 

So that resulted in my brother and I. I have always been very liberal, a believer in social democracy of the Scandinavian style more or less(though the last 3 years I've shifted from generally pro growth/market to more labor focused)and have little care for religion. Deff not into organized religion at all, God and spirituality eh I'm pretty neutral to atheist. I'd say it just isn't a part of my life in any way. 
My younger brother is a lot more hostile to religion and belief, used to be way more so to, and he is a libertarian. Was a huge fan of Ron Paul and is voting Gary Johnson this election. Though he is socially liberal and fairly independent, does like Bernie Sanders and Jill Stein as well while not fully agreeing. 

I am no doubt influenced by my parents, as well as my region which is a liberal democratic area of a liberal democratic state, as well as some key teachers in my life and probably the music I listened toLOL We were raised to be caring, open minded, worldly but both parents worked (mom did stay at home for a good stint but went back after) and my brother and I were encouraged to work and just be good people, however that can be possibly be understood


Posted By: Atavachron
Date Posted: June 20 2016 at 01:00
Originally posted by JJLehto JJLehto wrote:

My mother is so as well, and more so politically. She's a fairly dedicated and unwavering Democrat, voted for Carter both times, and even Mondale over Reagan Smile 

No shame there, Mondale was a good candidate.  Dukakis not so much.



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"Too often we enjoy the comfort of opinion without the discomfort of thought."   -- John F. Kennedy


Posted By: Modrigue
Date Posted: June 20 2016 at 03:28
My opinion concerning the situation in France:

In France, I would say the main gap between my generation and my parents' are that our parents still believe there is a political distinction between left-wing and right-wing. Since I was born (in 1980), we did not see much difference between left-wing and right-wing governments, although they implied politicians considered to be liberal, conservative, centrist, socialist, libertarian... All those produced the same result, or, more exactly, the same absence of results. Left-wing governments applied recipes considered to be right-wing, and vice-versa.

French politicians are a bunch of incompetent and courage-less technocrats who mostly didn't hold a real job, made their entire career in politics, do not understand the problematics of our actual world and still apply obsolete recipes from the past century.

Another problem is that the political landscape lacks turn-over: no new young political formation can genuinely emerge (like Podemos in Spain), we roughly have the choice between the same political morons since 30 years or more. We want new fresh faces and visions!

There are never been more so much nascent micro political parties nowadays in France, all claiming they're neither left-wing nor right-wing. I personally don't know what 'socialism', 'liberalism', 'libertarism', centrism truly means... We had all this before, but they mainly applied the same non- or micro-reforms. One or another did not really change anything. Furthermore, socialism in Cuba is slightly different from our actual socialism in France for example, although they're called the same...


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https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLqf2srRfppHAslEmHBn8QP6d_eoanh0eW" rel="nofollow - My compositions


Posted By: Guldbamsen
Date Posted: June 20 2016 at 03:47
Originally posted by Icarium Icarium wrote:

Originally posted by Guldbamsen Guldbamsen wrote:

My parents come from completely different backgrounds, so I gather I got the best of two worlds. My mother is a country girl with magical powers in the kitchen. She has no degrees of anything of that sort, but she is emotionally wise and tend to look right through people, myself included. My dad on the other hand comes from a long line of theatre/movie folks and has worked with pretty much every interesting Danish actor/director. He reads all the time and that has probably rubbed off to his son. While both very different from one another they've always worked as a team in raising me and my younger sister the best way they could.
No religion but lots of ethics and kindness in general. I feel lucky.
so your father have worked with Lars von Trier Shocked

Yes. He even brought me along one time I was sick. They were shooting a series called 'Riget' in Copenhagen's main hospital bearing the same name (or Rigshospitalet). I remember drawing these abstract figures whilst in a fever haze and having Lars complement me on them. He also gave me some chocolateBig smile

BTW I realise I didn't mention any political stances earlier, which seems to be very important to people. My family is largely a-political, although if pressed I'd probably say we're leftist in our views. Politics don't mean sh*t to me tbh. It's the grown up version of the circus: big arm gestures and misdirection. Farts in yogurt.

 


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“The Guide says there is an art to flying or rather a knack. The knack lies in learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss.”

- Douglas Adams


Posted By: someone_else
Date Posted: June 20 2016 at 06:41
I was raised in a liberal, non-religious family without ties to any church. I choose freely to become a christian. My political orientation is a bit left of the center (but not left-wing) and rather conservative. My political views are temperate, except for one thing: I am an anti-EU extremist. I yearn to see Nuremberg II happen before I grow old.

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Posted By: Modrigue
Date Posted: June 20 2016 at 07:18
Originally posted by someone_else someone_else wrote:

My political orientation is a bit left of the center [...] and rather conservative. [...] I am an anti-EU extremist.

It's interesting to see the differences of perception between countries. Big smile

In France, centrism and conservatism are considered total antipodes, same goes for centrism and anti-EU.
French centrists are strongly pro-UE and not conservative at all.

Oh, BTW, very very very few Frenchs claim they're liberal. I remembered being shocked the first time I heard American teenagers saying they were more liberal than republican. The term "liberal" is considered as an insult in France, as it refers to evil capitalists who make poor children work at very low-cost, whereas, on the contrary, "republican" is a positive term for Frenchs: it represents unity and equality.

Be careful if you're planning a trip to Paris. Cultural differences... Smile



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https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLqf2srRfppHAslEmHBn8QP6d_eoanh0eW" rel="nofollow - My compositions


Posted By: zappaholic
Date Posted: June 20 2016 at 07:33
Me: Somewhat left of center.  Don't bother with government if it doesn't bother me.  Not religious.
Mom: She and I agree on a lot of things.  Still Catholic and goes to church regularly.
Dad: He and I agree on a lot of things.  Worked in state government most of his life, and thus has a jaundiced view of government.  Not religious.
Brother #1: Far right, the result of living in the South and listening to talk radio.  Loathes government, democrats and Liberals; is actively trying to convert my parents.  Religious, but thankfully not fundamentalist.
Brother #2: Pretty much the same as me.




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"Democracy is the theory that the common people know what they want, and deserve to get it good and hard." -- H.L. Mencken


Posted By: A Person
Date Posted: June 20 2016 at 07:45
Originally posted by Guldbamsen Guldbamsen wrote:

Originally posted by Icarium Icarium wrote:

Originally posted by Guldbamsen Guldbamsen wrote:

My parents come from completely different backgrounds, so I gather I got the best of two worlds. My mother is a country girl with magical powers in the kitchen. She has no degrees of anything of that sort, but she is emotionally wise and tend to look right through people, myself included. My dad on the other hand comes from a long line of theatre/movie folks and has worked with pretty much every interesting Danish actor/director. He reads all the time and that has probably rubbed off to his son. While both very different from one another they've always worked as a team in raising me and my younger sister the best way they could.
No religion but lots of ethics and kindness in general. I feel lucky.
so your father have worked with Lars von Trier Shocked

Yes. He even brought me along one time I was sick. They were shooting a series called 'Riget' in Copenhagen's main hospital bearing the same name (or Rigshospitalet). I remember drawing these abstract figures whilst in a fever haze and having Lars complement me on them. He also gave me some chocolateBig smile

I have looked all over but still can't find a way to watch Riget. :(


Posted By: Dean
Date Posted: June 20 2016 at 08:44
Hmm.

/edit: post deleted.




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What?


Posted By: dr wu23
Date Posted: June 20 2016 at 15:30
Whenever I hear the term 'family values' I immediately think of the Republican Christian right wing in the US.......LOL......probably due to all the times they have used it in their talking points on the news and various media.

Well...all my family (Dad, Mom, Aunts and Uncles ,etc..) have passed away except for me....but my dad was  Republican and Mom didn't care about politics at all....brother was a lefty Democrat and I'm some what left of center but lately don't really like the Dems or GOP. My wife and daughters aren't really interested in politics either but my son in law is a moderate Republican.
Religious values are all basic Christian orientation though no one attends Church on a regular basis and I'm agnostic since college days over 40 years ago. So I guess the 'family values' arose from primarily centrist Christian religious beliefs and mainstream political ideas. 
I'm the only one in the family who has read about alternate religious beliefs , metaphysics, the occult, and related aspects.


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One does nothing yet nothing is left undone.
Haquin


Posted By: rushfan4
Date Posted: June 20 2016 at 15:53
My dad is conservative.  Growing up, he was "not getting up to go to church on his one day off from work to sleep in".  Now, he is a Stephens Minister and spends much of his free time at nursing homes and hospitals talking faith with people "who need it". 

I always thought that my mom was more liberal, but she has been forwarding a number of emails in recent years that would lead me to believe that she has become more conservative over the years.  She has become more religious in recent years as well, but not to my dad's extreme.

I am a social democrat.  I tend to agree with the democrats pretty much across the board on most social issues; however, I have become more conservative on fiscal issues over the years...i.e. less interested in funding others' free handouts.  I suppose that I have reached that age where a centrist position is more appealing as it means more of a things will stay status quo.  I've even mellowed slightly on the religion side as I have edged away from being an atheist to being an agnostic. 


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