The Battle Of The Mental Cases .V vs V
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Topic: The Battle Of The Mental Cases .V vs V
Posted By: Vibrationbaby
Subject: The Battle Of The Mental Cases .V vs V
Date Posted: June 24 2004 at 01:58
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It is my considered opinion that Velvet Clown and myself are the most deranged members on the site and have agreed to showdown of insane stories. Most of the things I have Done are unprintable. But here goes with the openining one , and beleive me it is pretty tame compared to what is going to come. In High school we would go to the corner store at lunch hour to buy candy, soft drinks etc. On the way back one day we found a dead cat. I picked it up and smuggled it back into the school. We were having an English test with this particularily sensitive teacher Ms. Baumgarten. The test was on Shakespear's Macbeth. I put the dead cat in her bottom drawer Which she frequently would open. We always were sitting in the the back of the class. We were just laughing waiting for her to open the drawer. During the test she was just saying to us shhhh unaware of what was to come. When she finally opened the drawer she absolutely shieked in terror and ran out of the classroom. To make a long story short my dad and I were in the principal's office the next morning. I spent a lot of time with my dad in the principal's office in high school. Your Turn Velv. |
Replies:
Posted By: Velvetclown
Date Posted: June 24 2004 at 03:52
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OK Well speaking of school  Well my teachers were all mad ( a sort of defence )  We had a fat female teacher and one sunny day we thought of doing a mild prank on her, so we put some thumbtacks on her chair and waited with some glee for the sound of pain
.......... but .........she just sat down..........got up and the
thumbthacks sat neatly in her behind.........and she didnīt even notice
!!!!!!!!!!!!!It was the beginning of many disappointments in my long life !!!! No wonder I turned to drink and beavers .....by the age of 9  ------------- Billy Connolly Dream Theater Terry Gilliam Hagen Quartet Jethro Tull Mike Keneally |
Posted By: Joren
Date Posted: June 24 2004 at 16:18
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THUMBTACKS? and she didn't even notice?!
How FAT can you GET? |
Posted By: Vibrationbaby
Date Posted: June 25 2004 at 02:40
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That was a good one velv! Me and my buddy Eddy did the back pack thing through Europe when we were 19. Eddy is probably crazier than I am. We were pretty drunk when we got on the KLM flight for schiphol airport in Amsterdam. This was back in the days when drinks on flights were complementary,but the stewardess would only bring you one at at a time and it took forever for her to go to the galley and return with the little can of Hieniken. So what we did was this. We got everyone sitting around us who wasn't drinking to order beers and give them to us. We ended up with about 20 of these little cans! We just sat there and got even more drunk. We started to sing songs like It's A Long Way To Tipperary, Lilly Marlene and then we started 100,000 bottles of beer on the wall 100,000 bottles of beer on the wall take one down pass it around 99,999 bottles of beer on the wall etc. I we got to 99,993 before the stewardess told us to shut up. Then the aircraft started to run in to some serious turbulence so Eddy yells out "we're going down, we're going down" and I've got a window seat and I yell out "there's an Engine on fire." Some of the passengers are starting to panic. So Eddy and I start chanting the Lord's prayer " Our father who aren't in heaven hallowed be thy name........" I think at this point The Captain came down from the cockpit to tell us to cut it out since the stewardess must have ratted us out. By the time we landed in Holland we were so drunk we didn't know what planet we were on or What solar system we were in. The cab driver just brought us to the red light district and didn't even charge us!. While we were in Europe we ran out of money twice and I had to ask my dad to wire us $1,000 and then Eddy did the same thing a week later. It was a crazy 3 weeks the Dutch people in particular were really good to us. |
Posted By: Joren
Date Posted: June 25 2004 at 16:07
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I'm proud of my ancestors What a story! Lunatics! |
Posted By: Vibrationbaby
Date Posted: June 26 2004 at 13:44
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Here is an example of what kind of literature I read I this from South Of No North by Charles Bukowski. Like anybody can tell you , I am not a nice man. I don`t know the word. I have always admired the villain , the outlaw the son of a b**** . I don`t like the clean shaven boy with the necktie and the good job. I like desparate men, men with broken teeth and broken ways. They interest me. They are full of suprises and explosions.I also like vile women, drunk cursing b**** with loose stockings and sloppy mascara. I`m more interested in perverts than saints. I can relax with bums because I am a bum. I don`t like laws, morals, religions, rules. I don`t like to be shaped by society. Where is velv is he dead. |
Posted By: Joren
Date Posted: June 28 2004 at 09:48
Probably... I think he died of laughter after reading your post about your trip to Amsterdam... |
Vibrationbaby wrote:Posted By: Velvetclown
Date Posted: June 28 2004 at 12:52
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Yep I Overdosed on Rocket Fuel Nice flight story there Vibe  Perhaps Joren got some anekdotes ??????????????  ------------- Billy Connolly Dream Theater Terry Gilliam Hagen Quartet Jethro Tull Mike Keneally |
Posted By: Vibrationbaby
Date Posted: June 28 2004 at 14:45
| Wow1 good to see that you are still alive velv, let's get joren in on this thread shall we? |
Posted By: Dan Bobrowski
Date Posted: June 28 2004 at 16:52
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Not another "drunk with sheep" story....
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Posted By: Velvetclown
Date Posted: June 29 2004 at 00:54
http://www.animationlibrary.com/a-l/?n=image.php3&image_id=4633"> http://www.animationlibrary.com/a-l/?n=image.php3&image_id=4633"> http://www.animationlibrary.com/a-l/?n=image.php3&image_id=4633"> http://www.animationlibrary.com/a-l/?n=image.php3&image_id=4633"> http://www.animationlibrary.com/a-l/?n=image.php3&image_id=4633"> http://www.animationlibrary.com/a-l/?n=image.php3&image_id=4633 - ------------- Billy Connolly Dream Theater Terry Gilliam Hagen Quartet Jethro Tull Mike Keneally |
Posted By: Velvetclown
Date Posted: June 29 2004 at 00:58
http://www.animationlibrary.com/a-l/?n=image.php3&image_id=7095"> ------------- Billy Connolly Dream Theater Terry Gilliam Hagen Quartet Jethro Tull Mike Keneally |
Posted By: 5 minute solo
Date Posted: June 30 2004 at 11:59
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citats gnirb ot naem t'nod sid ot naem t'nod stcidda V.T dna seikkert uoy lla yeh ------------- You want the spoon? You can't handle the spoon! |
Posted By: Dan Bobrowski
Date Posted: June 30 2004 at 12:16
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Same post three different threads. Okay.....
What is your problem with trekkies and TV addicts?
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Posted By: Vibrationbaby
Date Posted: July 01 2004 at 11:29
| My late mother knew William Shatner`s mother. The Shatner`s moved to Florida and during the filming of the episoide of `Devil In The Dark` Mr. Shatner passed away and Bill had to fly to Miami to attend the funeral. I had the opportunity to meet Bill Shatner just once. He is one heck of a funny guy. The Shatner`s are originally from Outremont here on the island of Montreal. Bill is a graduate from McGill University the same university I went to. |
Posted By: 5 minute solo
Date Posted: July 08 2004 at 13:01
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i have no anecdotes, its just a shame that hardly anyone has sent in anyomre. ------------- You want the spoon? You can't handle the spoon! |
Posted By: 5 minute solo
Date Posted: July 08 2004 at 13:19
fistly they're lyrics from the bestie boys new album and secondly i admit i am a prat and apologise for the continued posting. ------------- You want the spoon? You can't handle the spoon! |