Donald Trump says he plans to turn the White House into a giant 40-storey casino and hotel complex as part of his infrastructure programme to create jobs and make America great again.
It will be surrounded by a golf course and enclosed inside a huge wall to keep out Mexicans, and paid for by the Mexican government.
Government staff are to be replaced by an army of leisure industry workers including croupiers, Las Vegas novelty acts and troupes of dancing girls.
The Secret Service security staff will be replaced by out-of-work steel workers from Michigan and other rust belt states. The new Head of Security, Chuck Norris Jr. said: “Anyone come hear the Donald, we gonna bust his ass.”
< name="aswift_1" width="696" height="280" id="aswift_1" ="https://scoopalley.com/white-house-renamed-trump-plaza-washington/" border="0" marginwidth="0" marginheight="0" scrolling="no" ="0" ="0" allowfullscreen="true" style="border: 0px currentColor; left: 0px; top: 0px; width: 696px; height: 280px; overflow: ; : ; border-: none;" allowtransparency="true">
Trump said the White House needed to be revamped because a black family had been living there for the last eight years and had lowered the tone of the neighbourhood and forced down house prices.
Thankfully, Donald J Trump is here to bring back a little class and style to this iconic building.