Alright well I wrote the lyrics for another song, this one is called "Antonine's Wall" and it's about the attempts of scottish natives to raid king Antonine's wall during the Roman empire, and it's written from the point of view of a native tribesman. I'd like to know what you guys think about this one. I don't know when my band will ever get these recorded, but any suggestions for how to improve this would help me out a lot.
Break the barrier, raid the land
Take it from the empire’s hand
Seize the wall and charge this place
Wipe the smiles off every face
Make them bow, watch them die
Antonine’s final day is nigh
Now gather around, defeat the mass
Every hour could be your last
Our blood’s been spilled upon the wet grass
But we can’t give up until we have it all
Make the mighty feel defiled and crass
For Tonight we tear down/ Antonine’s wall
Now they’ve got the army’s heft
But don’t stop ‘til there’s nothing left
Adrenaline rushes to my head
Let’s make the Roman’s see more red
Our blood’s been spilled upon the wet grass
But we can’t give up until we have it all
Make the mighty feel defiled and crass
For Tonight we tear down/ Antonine’s wall
Our blood’s been spilled upon the wet grass
And we gave up before we had it all
They made me feel defiled and crass
Will we ever tear down/ Antonine’s wall?