Stories Of Great Stupidity

 

 

For all your stupid stories go to WWW.Lowbrow.com

 

Here is a sample:

 

On my way to a party one night, my contact lenses really started bothering me. I thought "f**k it. Everyone says I look cute in my glasses." so I take my contacts out and put my glasses on.

Find me 3 hours later, after who knows how much beer, sitting on the porch, mumbling to myself.

"My god, I'm drinking myself blind. I can't see 5 feet in front of me. I'm never drinking this much ever again."

Thats about when my friend came up to me and handed me my glasses.

"You left these on the keg after your last keg stand."

"...Thanks."

 

Eddy wrote: lol funny ! reed ansd garion. i heard a funny true story from my math teacher a couple days back. this one guy some how got a jet take off he;lper rocket, ( i dont remeber the real official name) he went out in the country side, with the rocketstrapped to the back part of his pick up. he started it somehow and the rocket slipped through the ropes holding it(DUH!) and went strait through the poor guys body!!!! OUCH!

 Sounds horrific!!

This is a true story. Happened to my uncle, who is a paramedic, he has some of the most discusting and hilarious experiances ive ever heard about. Ill share one of the best with you. It was 3am in the morning and he gets a call from some police officers and this is the story he gets. the cops got a call about a burlgar in a residential area. They show up as hes leaving the crime scene, and the guy runs. They end up cornering him in an alley way, theres a large fence behind him and he scrambles up it (it was about 12 feet high or so) he gets to the top and jumps. There is no way the police officers would be able to catch him on foot at this point, but they hear a blood curdling scream. But it doesnt stop at that they guy keeps on screaming, the two policemen get to the other side of the fence. It turns out that the fence (at this point it would be important to mention that the tip of each fence poll was in a T shape) was just put up and an extra poll was being propped up on the other side of the fence. When the burglar jumped he somehow managed to have the pole (T shape and all) slide more than a foot up his anal cavity as he fell. The guy had to be in the hospital for months before he could go to jail, I guess crime doesnt pay. (i find the funniest thing to be the fact that if he hadnt landed on the pole he probably would have gotten away with it)

Pale Fire wrote: yesderday, I was balancing on my hands, fell, and have a rugburn on half my face me = dumbass

Yeah, I can think of much funner ways to get facial rugburn...

This one happened to me:

I heard of guys that have been attacked by his dog or scratched by his cat, but I believe I'm one of the first to be beaten by his car.

I returned from a Halloween party back in 1980 with a lot of drinks (just had got my driving license) and the house where I lived had the garage in the basement.

So I parked my VW in the ramp and went down to open the door, but because I was drunk I forgot to put the hand brake and don't know why in hell (because it was mechanical) it slide from third speed to neutral point.

I had enough time to listen the sound and jump, but the garage door was in the middle of two tall walls, so I didn't had a place to go, so I tried the most intelligent thing, to jump over the hood of the car and then over the top, something that would have been not so hard if I was sober, but because I was drunk as a grape, my right leg got caught buy the license plate and the garage door. 

Thanks God (who almost always help the drunks) I went to the party in a cowboy costume and had tall boots which protected my leg, but the license plate broke the leather and went through the skin and muscle of the leg, so I was unable to move, because when the car moved my skin followed the car and the pain was hard enough to make me sober again.

For the second time I was lucky, because my sister and her boyfriend went early to bring my mother home from the casino and found me trapped in the door.

They had to call the paramedics who took me to the clinic bleeding as a pig, thanks God it was only a cut because my bone was ok, the cop at the door (who had to suspend my license for driving drunk) started to laugh so hard that forgave me.

I still have the 45 stitches scar to remind me not to be stupid again.

Iván

A man was working on his motorcycle on his patio and
his wife was in the house in the kitchen.  The man was
racing the engine on the motorcycle and somehow, the
motorcycle slipped into gear. The man, still holding
the handlebars, was dragged through a glass patio
door and along with the motorcycle dumped onto the
floor inside the house.  The wife, hearing the crash,
ran into the dining room, and found her husband laying
on the floor, cut and bleeding, the motorcycle laying
next to him and the patio door shattered.  The wife
ran to the phone and summoned an ambulance.

Because they lived on a fairly large hill, the wife
went down the several flights of long steps to the
street to direct the paramedics to her husband. After
the ambulance arrived and transported the husband to
the hospital, the wife uprighted the motorcycle and
pushed it outside.

Since gas had spilled on the floor, the wife obtained
some paper towels, blotted up the gasoline, and threw
the towels in the toilet.  The husband was treated at
the hospital and was released to come home.  After
arriving home, he looked at the shattered patio door
and the damage done to his motorcycle.  He became
despondent, went into the bathroom, sat on the toilet
and smoked a cigarette.  After finishing the
cigarette, he flipped it between his legs into the
toilet bowl while still seated.

The wife, who was in the kitchen, heard a loud
explosion and her husband screaming. She ran into the
bathroom and found her husband lying on the floor. His
trousers had been blown away and he was suffering
burns on the buttocks, the back of his legs and his
groin.  The wife again ran to the phone and called for
an ambulance.

The same ambulance crew was dispatched and the wife
met them at the street. The paramedics loaded the
husband on the stretcher and began carrying him to the
street.
  While they were going down the stairs to the street
accompanied by the wife, one of the paramedics asked
the wife how the husband had burned himself.  She
told them and the paramedics started laughing so
hard, one of them tipped the stretcher over and dumped
the husband out.  He fell down the remaining steps and
broke his arm.