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The Pessimist 
Prog Reviewer 
Joined: June 13 2007 Location: United Kingdom Status: Offline Points: 3834 |
 Topic: Funny HeadlinesPosted: January 27 2009 at 11:25 |
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Influenced by Slarti's thread, I thought it would be a good idea to have a thread consisting of humourous fictional (or non-fictional) newspaper headlines. I'll start it off:
PAPER BAGS PROVEN TO CURE UGLINESS Your turn  |
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"Market value is irrelevant to intrinsic value."
Arnold Schoenberg |
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Slartibartfast
Collaborator
Honorary Collaborator / In Memoriam Joined: April 29 2006 Location: Atlantais Status: Offline Points: 29630 |
Posted: January 27 2009 at 11:42 |
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Not exactly on topic, but try these out:
Edited by Slartibartfast - February 02 2009 at 06:57 |
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ClemofNazareth
Special Collaborator 
Prog Folk Researcher Joined: August 17 2005 Location: United States Status: Offline Points: 4659 |
Posted: January 27 2009 at 11:50 |
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How about some humorous wedding announcements? Some of these may be lost in translation for non-English speakers:
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"Peace is the only battle worth waging."
Albert Camus |
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progaeopteryx
Prog Reviewer
Joined: June 03 2005 Location: Refrigerator Status: Offline Points: 3613 |
Posted: January 27 2009 at 17:56 |
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THE MANDATE HUMS!! AHMADINEJAD'S PAN SURFACES AROUND THE SLOT!
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Slartibartfast
Collaborator
Honorary Collaborator / In Memoriam Joined: April 29 2006 Location: Atlantais Status: Offline Points: 29630 |
Posted: January 28 2009 at 11:44 |
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^^^ whaaaa? There must be ants in your fridge.
 Whatever happened to that thread anyway? I'm sure it will rear it exoskeletal head one of the days soon. VVVV Edited by Slartibartfast - February 02 2009 at 06:57 |
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Vompatti
Forum Senior Member 
VIP Member Joined: October 22 2005 Location: elsewhere Status: Offline Points: 67407 |
Posted: January 28 2009 at 11:49 |
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ANTS IN THE FRIDGE!
Ants' Copiousness Proven to Increase in Cold Temperatures |
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Diaby
Forum Senior Member
Joined: October 15 2007 Location: Hungary Status: Offline Points: 774 |
Posted: January 28 2009 at 12:31 |
 Great! |
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yeah
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progaeopteryx
Prog Reviewer
Joined: June 03 2005 Location: Refrigerator Status: Offline Points: 3613 |
Posted: January 28 2009 at 13:45 |
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PARTICLES BAFFLE WORKERS: LARGE HADRON COLLIDER RECREATES DISNEY'S GOOFY AND SATISFIES ITSELF BY ORDERING A PIZZA!
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progaeopteryx
Prog Reviewer
Joined: June 03 2005 Location: Refrigerator Status: Offline Points: 3613 |
Posted: January 28 2009 at 13:53 |
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ALGEBRA CHEWING
A NEW GENERATION RIDING A SAD TROLLEY |
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Vompatti
Forum Senior Member
VIP Member Joined: October 22 2005 Location: elsewhere Status: Offline Points: 67407 |
Posted: January 29 2009 at 06:13 |
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SMELL OF NUTS
Vompatti ate a bag of chili nuts yesterday and his fingers still smell like those nuts |
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Slartibartfast
Collaborator
Honorary Collaborator / In Memoriam Joined: April 29 2006 Location: Atlantais Status: Offline Points: 29630 |
Posted: February 02 2009 at 07:00 |
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IT'S A VAGINA NOT A CLOWN CAR!
LOS ANGELES – The woman who gave birth to octuplets this week conceived all 14 of her children through in vitro fertilization, is not married and has been obsessed with having children since she was a teenager, her mother said. http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20090131/ap_on_re_us/octuplets Edited by Slartibartfast - February 06 2009 at 19:38 |
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TheCaptain
Forum Senior Member
Joined: January 04 2009 Location: Ohio, USA Status: Offline Points: 1335 |
Posted: February 02 2009 at 07:37 |
 From The Plain Dealer. I'm a sucker for puns. |
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Curse your sudden but inevitable betrayal.
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progaeopteryx
Prog Reviewer
Joined: June 03 2005 Location: Refrigerator Status: Offline Points: 3613 |
Posted: February 02 2009 at 18:20 |
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SUNBLOCKED FUDGE CRACKS BESIDE THE BANDWAGON
Holy pants pinch the equilibrium!! |
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Slartibartfast
Collaborator
Honorary Collaborator / In Memoriam Joined: April 29 2006 Location: Atlantais Status: Offline Points: 29630 |
Posted: February 04 2009 at 12:02 |
  CABINET DRAMA FRUSTRATES OBAMAWell hey, it rhymes. Edited by Slartibartfast - February 06 2009 at 19:38 |
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tardis
Forum Senior Member
Joined: October 02 2005 Location: Victoria, BC Status: Offline Points: 14378 |
Posted: February 06 2009 at 02:30 |
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Deaf mute gets new hearing in killing
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progaeopteryx
Prog Reviewer
Joined: June 03 2005 Location: Refrigerator Status: Offline Points: 3613 |
Posted: February 06 2009 at 18:45 |
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THE VOLUNTEER ELECTORATE DANCES!
Lazy soap reacts to a scientific birthday! |
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Slartibartfast
Collaborator
Honorary Collaborator / In Memoriam Joined: April 29 2006 Location: Atlantais Status: Offline Points: 29630 |
Posted: February 06 2009 at 19:37 |
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A STAINED SOUL CRINGES AT THE SMALL DETAILS!
In the mirror of embarrassment! this headline font really sux  Edited by Slartibartfast - February 06 2009 at 19:38 |
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Released date are often when it it impacted you but recorded dates are when it really happened...
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Abstrakt
Forum Senior Member
Joined: August 18 2005 Location: Soundgarden Status: Offline Points: 18292 |
Posted: February 06 2009 at 19:44 |
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bobdasheep
Forum Newbie 
Joined: February 06 2009 Status: Offline Points: 2 |
Posted: February 06 2009 at 21:14 |
 Nice thread.
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Funny Headlines
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Vompatti wrote: