Performance Evaluations

While these may accurately describe people you and I work for, they are actual quotes taken from Federal Government employee performance evaluations.
1. "I would not allow this employee to breed."

2. "This employee is really not so much of a has-been, but more of a definite won't be."

3. "Works well when under constant supervision and cornered like a rat in a trap."

4. "This young lady has delusions of adequacy."

5. "He sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them."

6. "This employee is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot."

7. "This employee should go far, and the sooner he starts, the better."

8. "A gross ignoramus: 144 times worse than an ordinary ignoramus."

9. "This man's drinking has not interfered with his work.

10. "He's been working with glue too much."

11. "He brings a lot of joy whenever he leaves the room."

12. "When his IQ reaches 50, he should sell."

13. "A photographic memory but with the lens cover glued on."

14. "A prime candidate for natural de-selection."

15. "Gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn't coming."

16. "If he were any more stupid, he'd have to be watered twice a week."

17. "If you stand close enough to him, you can hear the ocean."

18. "It's hard to believe he beat out 1,000,000 other sperm."

19. "One neuron short of a synapse."

20. "The wheel is turning, but the hamster is dead"