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Prog-jester View Drop Down
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Points: 5872 		Direct Link To This Post Topic: 10 Rules of Neo-Prog Bands
    Posted: June 04 2007 at 17:00

1. There must be five of you: lead vocals, lead guitar, bass guitar, keyboards and drums. It's good, when keyboardist doubles on guitar or guitarists on keys.

2. It's perfect if you have mellotron. If not - samples are right decision. If not, use bass-pedals at least!!!

3. Use jesters, jigsaw puzzles and roundabouts in artwork, lyrics and interviews (good example:"Mr.journalist, you're puzzled jester!" )

4. Do never let your drummer sing. Point. You know what it leads to.

5. Theatrics. Drama. Meningful poses and intense faces. MAKE-UP.
If your lead-vocalist doesn't aware of what I'm talking about, get rid of him.

6. You must have a 20-min long epic, shamelessly ripped from "Supper's Ready". Or at least steal their "Apocalypse in 9/8" beat/solo.

7. That's not enough. Spread allusions everywhere: whisper "A Flower?" between tracks or suddenly burst with "Total Perpetual Exchange!!!" harmonized vocalise in epic's climax. Name your band MASQUERADE OVERTURE finally!

8. Making an epic is simple: quiet intro, a rocky part, a bridge (acoustic or something), climax and ballad-like outro. Don't even dare to step away from the scheme!!!

9. Collaborate with Clive Nolan or John Jowitt. Just call them, and the very next day you'll be recording an album together!!!

10. Respect every musician (even avantgardists and rappers), but bash Phil Collins every moment you have opportunity to do this.





Additions to rules are welcomed!!!

PS: I like Neo, really!
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Points: 272 		Direct Link To This Post Posted: June 04 2007 at 17:06
11. Never sweep pick
Eat heartily at breakfast, for tonight, we dine in Hell!!
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Points: 28057 		Direct Link To This Post Posted: June 04 2007 at 17:13
12. Be better than everyone else


I'm leaving now so i won't see your responses. Hug
My soundcloud. Please give feedback if you want!
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The Miracle View Drop Down
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Points: 28427 		Direct Link To This Post Posted: June 04 2007 at 17:22
13. Be cringe worthingly cheesy
14. Suck giant monkey balls

Wink
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Points: 222 		Direct Link To This Post Posted: June 04 2007 at 17:30
I want to be a neo-prog rocker!!!  Big%20smile
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Points: 7374 		Direct Link To This Post Posted: June 04 2007 at 20:12
^ No you don't.
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Points: 5872 		Direct Link To This Post Posted: June 05 2007 at 04:17
Originally posted by The Miracle The Miracle wrote:

14. Suck giant monkey balls


Isn't this one stolen from Ultimate Code of Laws For John Zorn Worshipers?
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Points: 65266 		Direct Link To This Post Posted: June 05 2007 at 04:21
enough sentimentality to drive most people to suicide

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video vertigo View Drop Down
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Points: 1930 		Direct Link To This Post Posted: June 05 2007 at 12:42
   stupid
"The rock and roll business is pretty absurd, but the world of serious music is much worse." - Zappa
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Points: 5872 		Direct Link To This Post Posted: June 06 2007 at 06:19
Originally posted by video vertigo video vertigo wrote:

   stupid


?
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Points: 3596 		Direct Link To This Post Posted: June 06 2007 at 10:26
Originally posted by stonebeard stonebeard wrote:

12. Be better than everyone else


I'm leaving now so i won't see your responses. Hug

I thought that was the province of Gabrielites ?
"Here I am talking to some of the smartest people in the world and I didn't even notice,” Lieutenant Columbo, episode The Bye-Bye Sky-High I.Q. Murder Case.
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debrewguy View Drop Down
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Points: 3596 		Direct Link To This Post Posted: June 06 2007 at 10:28
Originally posted by Prog-jester Prog-jester wrote:


1. There must be five of you: lead vocals, lead guitar, bass guitar, keyboards and drums. It's good, when keyboardist doubles on guitar or guitarists on keys.

2. It's perfect if you have mellotron. If not - samples are right decision. If not, use bass-pedals at least!!!

3. Use jesters, jigsaw puzzles and roundabouts in artwork, lyrics and interviews (good example:"Mr.journalist, you're puzzled jester!" )

4. Do never let your drummer sing. Point. You know what it leads to.

5. Theatrics. Drama. Meningful poses and intense faces. MAKE-UP.
If your lead-vocalist doesn't aware of what I'm talking about, get rid of him.

6. You must have a 20-min long epic, shamelessly ripped from "Supper's Ready". Or at least steal their "Apocalypse in 9/8" beat/solo.

7. That's not enough. Spread allusions everywhere: whisper "A Flower?" between tracks or suddenly burst with "Total Perpetual Exchange!!!" harmonized vocalise in epic's climax. Name your band MASQUERADE OVERTURE finally!

8. Making an epic is simple: quiet intro, a rocky part, a bridge (acoustic or something), climax and ballad-like outro. Don't even dare to step away from the scheme!!!

9. Collaborate with Clive Nolan or John Jowitt. Just call them, and the very next day you'll be recording an album together!!!

10. Respect every musician (even avantgardists and rappers), but bash Phil Collins every moment you have opportunity to do this.





Additions to rules are welcomed!!!


PS: I like Neo, really!

Strangely, I see many rules having applied by our prog pantheon ...Wink
"Here I am talking to some of the smartest people in the world and I didn't even notice,” Lieutenant Columbo, episode The Bye-Bye Sky-High I.Q. Murder Case.
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