The Ranting Room |
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Dean
Special Collaborator Retired Admin and Amateur Layabout Joined: May 13 2007 Location: Europe Status: Offline Points: 37575 |
Posted: January 22 2008 at 08:54 |
Scarily accurate and the last paragraph neatly brings us full-circle:
"My Chav-o-meter starts to smoke when I enter the town. On a Tue (market day) it blows up. For a small town it has a huge inbred count. I would feel more safer in Iraq than Alton on market day. The chavs head for the market to buy ten thousand bags of cheese 'n' onion crisps to feed their baby chavs for a week. Next stop on the chav tour is the Post Office where you have to avoid the over-weight single mums that hang outside the entrance. They sport the usal chav-wear: hooped earings, jogging bottoms, fag in one hand, kid in the other. Other chav hang-outs are the job centre steps, outside the newsagents and lady-place car park where driver chavs can impress in their 1.1 saxo's. I know I am impressed by a Nova 1.4 wheel spinning in the wet. I can see why they get the girls, and I bet they buy them their chips and coke. Romance ah? Yes Alton chavs come in all ages. It really is worth a visit, just walk along the high street and within a few minutes your chav count will be through the roof. Want a fight? Try the local night club at weekends. One time about 250 inbred family members had a mass brawl outside...even the cops just left them to it." Edited by darqDean - January 22 2008 at 08:54 |
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What?
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VanderGraafKommandöh
Prog Reviewer Joined: July 04 2005 Location: Malaria Status: Offline Points: 89372 |
Posted: January 22 2008 at 08:59 |
I notice where Lee or myself live, are not listed. Lucky for us!
No, I don't live in Swindon, just near it. I think I'll move to Chertsey, where many of my ancestors lived in the 17th to 19th Century... it still is a nice place now, infact. It's expensive though... |
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Blacksword
Prog Reviewer Joined: June 22 2004 Location: England Status: Offline Points: 16130 |
Posted: January 22 2008 at 08:59 |
I wont stand for that at all!! It's not Harmans Water where you get beaten up for looking at a lamp post, it's Priestwood! I wish these researchers would get their facts straight.. As for Great Hollands..'gulp'..I've just had a flash back. I used to live there as a kid. At primary school I was known as 'Andy of the 'Ollands' Seriously.. A couple of years ago, someone made a sign saying 'Twinned with Beirut' and attached it to the Great Hollands road sign, where it stayed for two days before being ripped down. It even made the local paper. But, attracted letters of complaint, probably from the only two people on the estate who could write. |
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VanderGraafKommandöh
Prog Reviewer Joined: July 04 2005 Location: Malaria Status: Offline Points: 89372 |
Posted: January 22 2008 at 09:02 |
No wonder my aunt, uncle and family moved to Cornwall from Bracknell.
I seem to remember them living near some lock-up garages. Lovely. |
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Man Erg
Special Collaborator Honorary Collaborator Joined: August 26 2004 Location: Isle of Lucy Status: Offline Points: 7456 |
Posted: January 22 2008 at 09:05 |
In the 1970s I used to get beaten up for looking like a lamp post...Ah! those were the days Edited by Man Erg - January 22 2008 at 09:07 |
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Do 'The Stanley' otherwise I'll thrash you with some rhubarb. |
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VanderGraafKommandöh
Prog Reviewer Joined: July 04 2005 Location: Malaria Status: Offline Points: 89372 |
Posted: January 22 2008 at 09:20 |
Did you live in Harmans Water then, Lee?
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Man Erg
Special Collaborator Honorary Collaborator Joined: August 26 2004 Location: Isle of Lucy Status: Offline Points: 7456 |
Posted: January 22 2008 at 09:37 |
Somewhere much rougher.I grew up in...Deptford!!! |
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Do 'The Stanley' otherwise I'll thrash you with some rhubarb. |
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Padraic
Special Collaborator Honorary Collaborator Joined: February 16 2006 Location: Pennsylvania Status: Offline Points: 31169 |
Posted: January 22 2008 at 09:55 |
After reading all this, all I can say is, "big ups" to my fellow GRoomers and Ranters! Fo' real, yo!
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Jim Garten
Special Collaborator Retired Admin & Razor Guru Joined: February 02 2004 Location: South England Status: Offline Points: 14693 |
Posted: January 22 2008 at 10:36 |
Similarly: There's an area of Stevenage called Chells; some time ago, one of the roadsigns was altered with a little white paint to read "hell" - it's never been changed back. Give you an idea what the place is like, two of our friends moved away when their son was being threatened on a regular basis by local lads with baseball bats; the reason? Long hair... Their ages? About 5 (as were the bullies concerned ). Problem was, the place they moved to in Peterborough (frying pan to fire situation, unfortunately) later became a "sink" estate, where the problem recurred & became worse as their daughter passed a certain age... Our friends now live in a nice village in France. |
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Jon Lord 1941 - 2012 |
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Jim Garten
Special Collaborator Retired Admin & Razor Guru Joined: February 02 2004 Location: South England Status: Offline Points: 14693 |
Posted: January 22 2008 at 10:38 |
I have little sympathy for "scutter" (a combination of the words "scum" and "gutter")
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Jon Lord 1941 - 2012 |
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Jared
Forum Senior Member Joined: May 06 2005 Location: Hereford, UK Status: Offline Points: 19766 |
Posted: January 22 2008 at 10:38 |
yes, it's rather alarming that the same characters (mostly English, it has to be said...) (ab)use both rooms to sucvh a degree that they have become morphed into one...the Ranting Greys...
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Music has always been a matter of energy to me. On some nights I believe that a car with the needle on empty can run 50 more miles if you have the right music very loud on the radio. Hunter S Thompson
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Petrovsk Mizinski
Prog Reviewer Joined: December 24 2007 Location: Ukraine Status: Offline Points: 25210 |
Posted: January 24 2008 at 01:02 |
I like that one, but do we have you credit you if we use it in the real world?
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Jim Garten
Special Collaborator Retired Admin & Razor Guru Joined: February 02 2004 Location: South England Status: Offline Points: 14693 |
Posted: January 24 2008 at 03:25 |
I allow free use to all friends ; here's another one to describe a scutter sub-species: ICBM
Irretrievably Common Breeding Machine There's another one in development too: Fat Ugly Common Can't quite finish that one... somehow King Crimson fan doesn't seem appropriate |
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Jon Lord 1941 - 2012 |
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Blacksword
Prog Reviewer Joined: June 22 2004 Location: England Status: Offline Points: 16130 |
Posted: January 24 2008 at 03:42 |
Kebab muncher.. |
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Jim Garten
Special Collaborator Retired Admin & Razor Guru Joined: February 02 2004 Location: South England Status: Offline Points: 14693 |
Posted: January 24 2008 at 03:52 |
Ch-Ching! Cheers, Andy |
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Jon Lord 1941 - 2012 |
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Jared
Forum Senior Member Joined: May 06 2005 Location: Hereford, UK Status: Offline Points: 19766 |
Posted: January 24 2008 at 05:07 |
^^ I would have gone for 'Kleptomaniac' as in OED:
'Irresistable tendency to theft in persons not tempted to it by economic necessity'
ie, because they are either on Single Parent or Invalidity benefit...
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Music has always been a matter of energy to me. On some nights I believe that a car with the needle on empty can run 50 more miles if you have the right music very loud on the radio. Hunter S Thompson
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Jared
Forum Senior Member Joined: May 06 2005 Location: Hereford, UK Status: Offline Points: 19766 |
Posted: January 24 2008 at 05:24 |
Edited out (again)...
Edited by fandango - January 24 2008 at 05:33 |
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Music has always been a matter of energy to me. On some nights I believe that a car with the needle on empty can run 50 more miles if you have the right music very loud on the radio. Hunter S Thompson
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A B Negative
Forum Senior Member Joined: May 02 2006 Location: Methil Republic Status: Offline Points: 1594 |
Posted: January 24 2008 at 06:39 |
Who in their right mind would be presumptious enough to think "what that tune needs is to take off Keith Moon's drums and replace them with asomething a bit more dancey"? I'm talking about you, CSI producers! If you think The Who's music is actually improved by replacing one of the best rock drummers with an indie-dance beat worthy of such musical greats as The Paris Angels or Northside, you should be forced to eat your drum machine!
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"The disgusting stink of a too-loud electric guitar.... Now, that's my idea of a good time."
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Blacksword
Prog Reviewer Joined: June 22 2004 Location: England Status: Offline Points: 16130 |
Posted: January 24 2008 at 06:55 |
Sounds like you're describing a very definite crime against music and good taste! This would be like replacing Bonhams drum track on 'When the Levee Breaks' with some ghastly hip hop drum loop, complete with scratches.. Offensive! The producers should be forced to EAT Phil Collins CD's for a month.. |
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Jim Garten
Special Collaborator Retired Admin & Razor Guru Joined: February 02 2004 Location: South England Status: Offline Points: 14693 |
Posted: January 24 2008 at 07:14 |
Or listen to them for three minutes
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Jon Lord 1941 - 2012 |
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