Off At Tangents: Si Collop Vintu

There is a house in the valley that isn't available unless you have performed fellatio on Martin Sensaby. 

It's like suicide on your wedding day. 

Hey guys I need a little relationship advice. I’ve been talking to this Japanese woman named Angie from Osaka Japan for about six months now. And she tells me she wants to come to the states and be with me. And I think it’s a great idea. I like Asian women. I mean who doesn’t. Am I right? So we’ve been engaging in a long distance relationship for a while now and pretty early on she told me that she wanted to be with me. Only she was having trouble getting her passport. And she asked me if I could help. And of course I’m happy to help. I want her here. She told me she needed $5,000 to get her passport paperwork started. So I sent it to her. And a few weeks later she tells me she needed another $5,000. I was hesitant to do it but I sent it to her. The thing is I’m lonely. So lonely. So I sent it. So after I sent her that I didn’t hear from here for 4 months. But last night she texted me. She told me that she loved me and that she really wanted to be with me but she needed another $5,000 in order to finish the passport process. After that though it made me worry that she was lying to me. I have talked to her a few times over the phone. She does have like a Brooklyn accent. That worries me too but I haven’t questioned it because I didn’t want to hurt her feelings. So what should I do?

I want to curve into your subatomic.

The magic has ended before the show.

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Once a cad, always a crab. 

Become nude at the sound of an e flat.

19 minutes until the factory explodes. 

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