The Ranting Room

Jim Garten will self-destruct in...




5



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Hmm... he's not quite done yet...



There he goes!

All that remains is the charred remains of his shed...



All because he hates Pallas so much... poor Jim.


Edited by Geck0 - October 16 2007 at 14:52

Geck0 wrote: Jim Garten wrote: chopper wrote: Can I rant about builders? Please do Alan - it's getting like a bloody chat room in here! rantingroom?Chatroommorelikely! Oh do be quiet, you insolent little whelp!  Speak when you are being spoken to, now return to the corner of the room!  NOW! Now that feels better!

Geck0 wrote: I like that Dan guy who does the weather on  the 6 o'clock news.  He reminds me of an undertaker strangely...   I heard about Moira Stewart being axed... why was that?  My mother swears it was Moira doing the voice for Orange Mobile, but now she says she's not doing that now either!   Nutsacka Kerplunky is moving to Channel 5 too... I've not seen her recently, so maybe she hasn't got to work any notice?   I've also noticed people who go on Who Do You Think You Are? end up leaving... Kerplunky and Stewart, being two who come to mind.   Maybe Graeme Norton will be next, eh?  We can but hope!

Kerplunky going to Five?? Thats tragic..

Anyway, I'm glad you raised the important issue of Graeme Norton. Good to see him back on the box (was he ever away?) with another crap series , featuring celebrity interviews with the focus still very firmly on himself. Self congratulating little sh!te! This man is not funny, in fact anyone who thinks he is, should pay close attention next time you settle down to watch his hilarious show...

Everytime he finishes one of his crap anecdotes or gags with a line like: "..and I thought, ooh, there's no way you're going to get the whole thing in at once!" he punctuates the audiences hysterical applause with: "Errrr..anyway, anyway..." Once you notice this irritating habit you'll not be able to watch him again.

My problem with Norton came about in his last series when the weekly battering of knob gags, and obsession with websites full of idiots who liked nailing their genitals to planks of wood, became torturous. This was compounded when he started presenting programs about dancing, The Sound of Music and Joseph (was that one of his? They blend into one after a while) He became synonomous with everything I hate about 'entertainment culture' Judging panels, audience/viewer voting..etc I could go on. Whinge moan...

Any advert with singing in gets on my wick!  The latest culprit is McCain Oven Chips (or is Micro Chips?) where they basically sing the Oliver! theme tune with different vocals.  There's been several others too, but I've conveniently wiped them from my memory.

ARGH!

Geck0 wrote: Any advert with singing in gets on my wick!  The latest culprit is McCain Oven Chips (or is Micro Chips?) where they basically sing the Oliver! theme tune with different vocals.  There's been several others too, but I've conveniently wiped them from my memory.ARGH!

CHIPS! GLORIOUS CHIPS!

Yes! Get the whole ing nation even more ing obese than they already are - then they can stay on their ing sofas, reading their ing Heat magazines to find out who in the current 'celebrity' X ing list is "said" to be having a bit of a strop with which 'celebrity' from the Z ing list, because so and so 'celebrity' from the Y ing list wears the same pants as their pet dog! Ooh, Ohh, and by the way, don't forget to read the next thrilling ing instalment of who Victoria ing Beckham may or may not be speaking to in Los ing Angeles because her ing husband's pet's masseur's aunty's therapist's ing gardener once listened to a ing Spice ing Girls CD whilst watching ing Graham ing Norton making as many single ing entendres as is humanly possible during an episode of "I'm a completely hopeless wannabee who wants to sing some Andrew Lloyd Webber S on TV" and

...



What was the question again?

^ "it's" dangleflaps

Hmm... look at the behemoth I just started... I feel another seizure coming on... but not for me, but Jim.

Nurse!  We need a copy of The Lancet and an unbreakable copy of The Sentinel, NOW!  Quick sharp!

Jim Garten wrote: Geck0 wrote: Any advert with singing in gets on my wick!  The latest culprit is McCain Oven Chips (or is Micro Chips?) where they basically sing the Oliver! theme tune with different vocals.  There's been several others too, but I've conveniently wiped them from my memory.ARGH! CHIPS! GLORIOUS CHIPS! Yes! Get the whole ing nation even more ing obese than they already are - then they can stay on their ing sofas, reading their ing Heat magazines to find out who in the current 'celebrity' X ing list is "said" to be having a bit of a strop with which 'celebrity' from the Z ing list, because so and so 'celebrity' from the Y ing list wears the same pants as their pet dog! Ooh, Ohh, and by the way, don't forget to read the next thrilling ing instalment of who Victoria ing Beckham may or may not be speaking to in Los ing Angeles because her ing husband's pet's masseur's aunty's therapist's ing gardener once listened to a ing Spice ing Girls CD whilst watching ing Graham ing Norton making as many single ing entendres as is humanly possible during an episode of "I'm a completely hopeless wannabee who wants to sing some Andrew Lloyd Webber S on TV" and ... What was the question again?

Having a good day, Jim?

Geck0 wrote: Any advert with singing in gets on my wick!  The latest culprit is McCain Oven Chips (or is Micro Chips?) where they basically sing the Oliver! theme tune with different vocals.  There's been several others too, but I've conveniently wiped them from my memory. ARGH!

Geck0 wrote: Heavyfreight wrote: Geck0 wrote: Any advert with singing in gets on my wick!  The latest culprit is McCain Oven Chips (or is Micro Chips?) where they basically sing the Oliver! theme tune with different vocals.  There's been several others too, but I've conveniently wiped them from my memory. ARGH!   Don't forget those apalling Halifax ads with the singing character "Howard" Oh don't remind me... They're not at as bad as those Nationwide adverts though with that annoying bloke who's in all sorts of programs that are complete and utter ing bollocks.  The said guy is in some ing sh*t with Robson ing Green!  I ing hate Robson ing Green.   He cannot ing act to save his ing pet ing dog Norman's little cute labradorian ing life (if he has a ing pet ing dog called Norman, that is). Anyhow, the ing Nationwide bollocks I refer to, is the one about Tracker Loans.  It's deliberately made to ing piss me off! There are other adverts with singing in as well... like the Coca Cola ones, for instance.  The McCain one though is the worst since the one before it, which was the worst yet, yet I cannot ing remember what it ing well advertised. That reminds me: never watch Independent Television ever again, there's never anything on it worth watching.  Emmerdale, Crossroads, Who Wants to Be Chris Tarrant's Flunky, News at Ten Without Much In-Depth News, Poirot... The only things I ever watch on ITV are Midsomer Murders, the occasional Taggart and A Touch of Frost.  Oh and the Formula One. Maybe they should make a murder situation out of Formula One and make a nice murder drama out of it? A Touch of Silverstone Murders on Lap 15.

Carful James, theres been enough controversy this year to keep hollywood busy, that is if anyone could believe the goings on.

1800iareyay wrote: Geck0 wrote: Oh don't remind me... They're not at as bad as those Nationwide adverts At least they didn't make a -ing full length show out of it like -ing Cavemen. How does that stay on the air when innovative shows like The Wire and Firefly get -ing axed? Who the wants to see -ing Cavemen living in the -ing modern world? Oh, and you're not a -ing caveman if you live in a -ing house! I would rather have my legs eaten by a -ing shark, then cut open the sharks stomach and eat my own half -ing digested legs than watch that -ing show. I would rather be castrated with a rusty -ing knife that even watch an ad for that -ing show. I don't know why people are tuning in. How -ing idiotic is America? No wonder the rest of the world hates us. Cavemen.

You know, you can really give Blacksword and Jim a run for their money when it comes to rants.