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Unix 
Forum Senior Member
Joined: March 11 2007
Location: Canada
Status: Offline
Points: 253
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 Posted: March 20 2007 at 20:46 |
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There are these 3 friends in heaven named James, Fred, and John. Everything is perfect in heaven, except every so often there are these black cirlces that if you step on them, something bad happens to you. So James goes out for a walk one day and he steps on one of the black circles. He comes back home with this really ugly woman beside him and his friends ask "what happened???" to which he replies "Aw man, I stepped on one of those black circles."
So a couple days later, Fred goes out for a little stroll and the same exact thing happens to him, he comes home with this really ugly girl.
The next day, John goes out, but this time he comes home with a reallllly hot girl. James and Fred ask "WHOA!!! What happened man???" and the girl answers "Aw man, I stepped on one of those black circles."
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rileydog22
Forum Senior Member
Joined: August 24 2005
Location: New Jersey
Status: Offline
Points: 8844
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Posted: March 20 2007 at 21:08 |
 Unix wrote:
There are these 3 friends in heaven named James, Fred, and John. Everything is perfect in heaven, except every so often there are these black cirlces that if you step on them, something bad happens to you. So James goes out for a walk one day and he steps on one of the black circles. He comes back home with this really ugly woman beside him and his friends ask "what happened???" to which he replies "Aw man, I stepped on one of those black circles."
So a couple days later, Fred goes out for a little stroll and the same exact thing happens to him, he comes home with this really ugly girl.
The next day, John goes out, but this time he comes home with a reallllly hot girl. James and Fred ask "WHOA!!! What happened man???" and the girl answers "Aw man, I stepped on one of those black circles."
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I think you meant that JAMES (aka Geck0) didn't step in a black circle. But then again, I don't think God would be so cruel as to stick a girl with Geck0.......
Edited by rileydog22 - March 20 2007 at 21:08
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Unix
Forum Senior Member
Joined: March 11 2007
Location: Canada
Status: Offline
Points: 253
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Posted: March 20 2007 at 21:16 |
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Well, the names are interchangable so sure, if you want to burden him with a hot girl...
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Scott
Forum Newbie
Joined: December 16 2006
Location: United States
Status: Offline
Points: 9
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Posted: March 21 2007 at 01:22 |
This one might be a bit over-the-top, but here goes.
What do you get when you cross a donkey with an onion?
A piece of ass that brings years to your eyes!
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progismylife
Forum Senior Member
Joined: October 19 2006
Location: ibreathehelium
Status: Offline
Points: 15535
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Posted: March 24 2007 at 20:26 |
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A man walks into a psychologists office clothed only with clear plastic.
He tells the doctor."People say I'm crazy. What do you think?"
The doctor replies, "I don't know if you are crazy or not but I can clearly see your nuts."
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Chus
Prog Reviewer
Joined: October 16 2006
Location: Venezuela
Status: Offline
Points: 1991
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Posted: March 24 2007 at 20:27 |
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It's not the same to say "Chick Corea has traveled with Miles Davis" than to say "David has traveled miles with a chick in Korea"
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Jesus Gabriel
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daz2112
Forum Senior Member
Joined: January 18 2006
Location: England
Status: Offline
Points: 4483
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Posted: March 31 2007 at 07:43 |
What's pink & fluffy?
pink fluff!
What's blue & fluffy?
pink fluff holding it's breath! 
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In the constellation of cygnus,There lurks a mysterious force...The black hole
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daz2112
Forum Senior Member
Joined: January 18 2006
Location: England
Status: Offline
Points: 4483
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Posted: April 16 2007 at 15:55 |
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A woman walks into a pub & asks for a double entendre. So the barman gives her one!
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In the constellation of cygnus,There lurks a mysterious force...The black hole
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Vompatti
Forum Senior Member
VIP Member
Joined: October 22 2005
Location: elsewhere
Status: Offline
Points: 67458
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Posted: April 16 2007 at 16:00 |
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Charles Bukowski walks past a pub.
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daz2112
Forum Senior Member
Joined: January 18 2006
Location: England
Status: Offline
Points: 4483
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Posted: April 16 2007 at 16:05 |
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what's a shihtzu?
one with no animals!
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In the constellation of cygnus,There lurks a mysterious force...The black hole
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markosherrera
Forum Senior Member
Joined: October 01 2006
Location: World
Status: Offline
Points: 3252
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Posted: April 19 2007 at 19:01 |
daz2112 wrote:
what's a shihtzu?
one with no animals! |
is this a dogmassage?
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daz2112
Forum Senior Member
Joined: January 18 2006
Location: England
Status: Offline
Points: 4483
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Posted: May 06 2007 at 15:08 |
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My uncle bought a paper shop the other day, but he did'nt have it long. It blew away!!
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In the constellation of cygnus,There lurks a mysterious force...The black hole
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Tuzvihar
Special Collaborator
Honorary Collaborator
Joined: May 18 2005
Location: C. Schinesghe
Status: Offline
Points: 13536
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Posted: May 06 2007 at 16:30 |
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There are three men on a lonely island: a 20-year old, a 40-year old and a 60-year old. Suddenly they spotted another tiny island nearby full of beautiful, young naked women...
the 20-year old: We must go there! We must go! Let's go! Let's go! Let's go!
the 40-year old: Take it easy man! It's a pretty long distance. We can't just swim there 'cos we may drown! We should build a boat. Let's look for some wood...
the 60-year old: What for? We can see everything from here...
Edited by Tuzvihar - May 06 2007 at 16:32
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"Music is much like f**king, but some composers can't climax and others climax too often, leaving themselves and the listener jaded and spent."
Charles Bukowski
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Atomic_Rooster
Forum Senior Member
Joined: December 26 2005
Location: United States
Status: Offline
Points: 1210
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Posted: May 06 2007 at 21:55 |
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Three men are on a private airplane and they get to talking about the condition of the world. The first says, "well, there are too many knives in my country." and he throws a knife out the window. The second does the same, but the third says, "There are too many bombs in my country and dumps a grenade out of the window." When they land, the first man takes a walk. He sees a woman crying and asks her what's wrong and she tells him that a knife fell out of the sky and killed her husband. The second man encounters a crying man who tells him that a knife fell out of the sky and killed his dog. The third man encounters a man whose laughing his ass off, so he asks him what's so funny and he says,"I just farted and the guy behind me blew up!"
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I am but a servant of the mighty Fripp, the sound of whose loins shall forever be upon the tongues of his followers.
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Atomic_Rooster
Forum Senior Member
Joined: December 26 2005
Location: United States
Status: Offline
Points: 1210
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Posted: May 11 2007 at 00:33 |
An old couple is on a walk, when a pigeon flies by and deposits a poopy
little present on the woman's head.
"Yech!" says the woman. "Get some toilet paper."
"What for? He must be half-a-mile away by now."
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I am but a servant of the mighty Fripp, the sound of whose loins shall forever be upon the tongues of his followers.
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markosherrera
Forum Senior Member
Joined: October 01 2006
Location: World
Status: Offline
Points: 3252
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Posted: May 11 2007 at 10:47 |
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daz2112
Forum Senior Member
Joined: January 18 2006
Location: England
Status: Offline
Points: 4483
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Posted: May 22 2007 at 14:05 |
I filed my nails last night!.....No point in throwing them away!!
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In the constellation of cygnus,There lurks a mysterious force...The black hole
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kazansky
Forum Senior Member
Joined: December 24 2006
Location: Indonesia
Status: Offline
Points: 5085
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Posted: May 22 2007 at 14:09 |
where're did the pirates got shot ? in the AARRRRRMMM !!! 
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The devil we blame our atrocities on is really just each one of us.
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daz2112
Forum Senior Member
Joined: January 18 2006
Location: England
Status: Offline
Points: 4483
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Posted: May 22 2007 at 14:21 |
What do you call a man with a seagull on his head?
Cliff!
Edited by daz2112 - May 22 2007 at 14:21
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In the constellation of cygnus,There lurks a mysterious force...The black hole
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Firepuck
Forum Senior Member
Joined: February 28 2006
Location: Canada
Status: Offline
Points: 657
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Posted: May 24 2007 at 14:53 |
^ aha, what do you call a man jokes!
What do you call a man floating in the ocean?
Bob!
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Kryten : "'Pub'? Ah yes, A meeting place where humans attempt to achieve advanced states of mental incompetence by the repeated consumption of fermented vegetable drinks."
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