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Alitare 
Forum Senior Member
Joined: March 08 2008
Location: New York
Status: Offline
Points: 3595
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 Posted: June 11 2011 at 01:13 |
 JJLehto wrote:
Polo wrote:
I won't enter this PT discussion because I'm not exactly sober and Alitare might become my arch rival. |
aw
Speaking of madness, Dusty they didn't tell you to tone the reviews down did they? You're not even a reviewer now so they shouldn't really care  I'd like to see you review PT (minus In Absentia) in ye classic style
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I've sadly hit a funk. It's harder for me to be funny because I have a psychotic OCD fear of repeating myself or resorting to lame dick jokes or some nonsense. I've already written preliminary reviews for the first five PT albums and this is the funniest stuff I've come up with off the top of my head without trying hard at all:
"Artistically
this is a soggy mashed potato, but stylistically it belongs more in those NASA
documentaries than it does inside my cd player. And for good reason, as I don’t
own a cd player." ~Me, on On the Sunday of Life
"We in
the eighth vector of panoramic psychogenesis prefer you be brutally massacred
with the least of pain and resistance, so we’ve devised The Sky Moves Sideways,
an aural journey to help accompany you through your rapid, and hopefully
unperturbed demise. It features chilly psychedelic beat waves for several minutes,
before becoming aggravated techno – all part of the emotional rollercoaster you’re
about to enter. Then comes the ‘music’, which will transmit messages into your
psyche for acceptance. Please ignore the masturbating man behind the curtain." ~ Me, on Sky Moves Sideways
"Hoo,
Steve Wilson sure did worship those classic 1970’s Komitzsche music
aficionados, didn’t he? He loved all things faded and at this point, he’s still
working on the ‘if there’s a concept…I’ll find a f**kin’ sound effect for it’
aspect. It’s something that has afflicted He and Roger Waters since their
infancy. " ~ Me, on Signify
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JJLehto
Prog Reviewer
Joined: April 05 2006
Location: Tallahassee, FL
Status: Offline
Points: 34550
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Posted: June 11 2011 at 01:13 |
Any Colour You Like wrote:
Well that makes two I suppose.
Can somebody please restrain me from saying stupid sh*t from now on?
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no because that's why we love you <3 I also recommend drinking more
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JJLehto
Prog Reviewer
Joined: April 05 2006
Location: Tallahassee, FL
Status: Offline
Points: 34550
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Posted: June 11 2011 at 01:14 |
Alitare wrote:
JJLehto wrote:
Polo wrote:
I won't enter this PT discussion because I'm not exactly sober and Alitare might become my arch rival. |
aw
Speaking of madness, Dusty they didn't tell you to tone the reviews down did they? You're not even a reviewer now so they shouldn't really care I'd like to see you review PT (minus In Absentia) in ye classic style
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I've sadly hit a funk. It's harder for me to be funny because I have a psychotic OCD fear of repeating myself or resorting to lame dick jokes or some nonsense. I've already written preliminary reviews for the first five PT albums and this is the funniest stuff I've come up with off the top of my head without trying hard at all:
"Artistically
this is a soggy mashed potato, but stylistically it belongs more in those NASA
documentaries than it does inside my cd player. And for good reason, as I don’t
own a cd player." ~Me, on On the Sunday of Life
"We in
the eighth vector of panoramic psychogenesis prefer you be brutally massacred
with the least of pain and resistance, so we’ve devised The Sky Moves Sideways,
an aural journey to help accompany you through your rapid, and hopefully
unperturbed demise. It features chilly psychedelic beat waves for several minutes,
before becoming aggravated techno – all part of the emotional rollercoaster you’re
about to enter. Then comes the ‘music’, which will transmit messages into your
psyche for acceptance. Please ignore the masturbating man behind the curtain." ~ Me, on Sky Moves Sideways
"Hoo,
Steve Wilson sure did worship those classic 1970’s Komitzsche music
aficionados, didn’t he? He loved all things faded and at this point, he’s still
working on the ‘if there’s a concept…I’ll find a f**kin’ sound effect for it’
aspect. It’s something that has afflicted He and Roger Waters since their
infancy. " ~ Me, on Signify |
ha! I like it!
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The Neck Romancer
Forum Senior Member
Joined: June 01 2010
Location: Brazil
Status: Offline
Points: 10185
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Posted: June 11 2011 at 01:14 |
UBUNTU FONT FTW
Meh, Part the Second is almost over and I said to myself I'd go to bed after it.
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Any Colour You Like
Prog Reviewer
Joined: May 15 2009
Status: Offline
Points: 12294
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Posted: June 11 2011 at 01:16 |
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Dusty, you missed Up the Downstair. An album so perfect it makes grown men cry manly tears of pure paroxysms of pleasure.
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The Neck Romancer
Forum Senior Member
Joined: June 01 2010
Location: Brazil
Status: Offline
Points: 10185
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Posted: June 11 2011 at 01:17 |
Any Colour You Like wrote:
Dusty, you missed Up the Downstair. An album so perfect it makes grown men cry manly tears of pure paroxysms of pleasure.
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It is pretty awesome. I don't really care for the newer version with Gavin on drums.
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The Neck Romancer
Forum Senior Member
Joined: June 01 2010
Location: Brazil
Status: Offline
Points: 10185
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Posted: June 11 2011 at 01:17 |
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And good night
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Alitare
Forum Senior Member
Joined: March 08 2008
Location: New York
Status: Offline
Points: 3595
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Posted: June 11 2011 at 01:18 |
The only other remotely funny thing I've written into the nearly thirty reviews I've written this week:
"That’d
suck if John Lennon had a thing for Mayhem and Burzum and Black Sabbath. Can
you imagine his musical output if he’d been alive to listen to Serenades?
Mother! You had me, but I raped your eyes and devoured your maggot flesh! I
tried to run, but I couldn’t chance a piss blah blah." ~Me on Anathema's debut album
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Any Colour You Like
Prog Reviewer
Joined: May 15 2009
Status: Offline
Points: 12294
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Posted: June 11 2011 at 01:19 |
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I want some of what Dustin's taking. Share it round, feed the fire.
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Alitare
Forum Senior Member
Joined: March 08 2008
Location: New York
Status: Offline
Points: 3595
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Posted: June 11 2011 at 01:21 |
Any Colour You Like wrote:
Dusty, you missed Up the Downstair. An album so perfect it makes grown men cry manly tears of pure paroxysms of pleasure.
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"Is it another case of outsourced heart and unsold mind?
Apparently they were too busy huffing synthesia to make a gripping record on
the first attempt. All’s fair – lots of major groups soiled their pants on the
beginning swing and later on recovered in full force. You think a band like Van
Halen were hammering out metal brilliance like Running with the Devil on their
DEBUT? Wait, well yes they were, but I never much cared for Eddie Van, anywhan.
This is Steve Wilson’s waste of time-project projected star pocket protector.
It’s loads of astral psychedelia and alternative hard rock, and this time it
isn’t fifty half-minute sound collages in row. ‘Synthesia’ has some honestly
competent hooks to it. Not many, mind you, but you can see the group is
actually interested in writing songs this
go around." ~Me, on Up the Downstair
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JJLehto
Prog Reviewer
Joined: April 05 2006
Location: Tallahassee, FL
Status: Offline
Points: 34550
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Posted: June 11 2011 at 01:23 |
Ha! Hey man nothing wrong with keeping it normal but spaced with some lulz I like what ya got, from a humorous standpoint. Obviously your opinion of PT itself makes me want to punt a baby.
Any Colour You Like wrote:
I want some of what Dustin's taking. Share it round, feed the fire.
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Edited by JJLehto - June 11 2011 at 01:24
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JJLehto
Prog Reviewer
Joined: April 05 2006
Location: Tallahassee, FL
Status: Offline
Points: 34550
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Posted: June 11 2011 at 01:25 |
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omg its raining. Finally some f**king relief. oh it feels good man
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Any Colour You Like
Prog Reviewer
Joined: May 15 2009
Status: Offline
Points: 12294
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Posted: June 11 2011 at 01:25 |
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Oh my, look at the time, it's scotch o'clock again.
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Henry Plainview
Forum Senior Member
Joined: May 26 2008
Location: Declined
Status: Offline
Points: 16715
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Posted: June 11 2011 at 01:27 |
Polo wrote:
Why is it on the PA album entry then? |
Because of fail.
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if you own a sodastream i hate you
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JJLehto
Prog Reviewer
Joined: April 05 2006
Location: Tallahassee, FL
Status: Offline
Points: 34550
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Posted: June 11 2011 at 01:28 |
Any Colour You Like wrote:
Oh my, look at the time, it's scotch o'clock again.
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I would ask what time it is, but it's 5:00 somewhere!
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irrelevant
Collaborator
Honorary Collaborator
Joined: March 07 2010
Location: Australia
Status: Offline
Points: 13382
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Posted: June 11 2011 at 01:29 |
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Hi.
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Any Colour You Like
Prog Reviewer
Joined: May 15 2009
Status: Offline
Points: 12294
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Posted: June 11 2011 at 01:29 |
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It's 6.30pm, and that only means two things on a winter's night here. Alcohol and rugby.
Edited by Any Colour You Like - June 11 2011 at 01:30
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Alitare
Forum Senior Member
Joined: March 08 2008
Location: New York
Status: Offline
Points: 3595
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Posted: June 11 2011 at 01:32 |
JJLehto wrote:
Ha! Hey man nothing wrong with keeping it normal but spaced with some lulz
I like what ya got, from a humorous standpoint. Obviously your opinion of PT itself makes me want to punt a baby.
Any Colour You Like wrote:
I want some of what Dustin's taking. Share it round, feed the fire.
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I just need the notes they play to really travel, go somewhere, cross some chord borders, keep from sounding like Rush at all costs, make the notes have lots of diversity and also have the hooks be blazing eruptions of memorable pleasure. I like my singers to know what they are doing, and if they're not up to snuff, at least know how to use what they've got. Talking into a space box for an hour doesn't interest me. Being slow and ambient doesn't interest me. I like my mood music to...i dunno, evoke a mood that isn't choked with marijuana, mars, and some ice comet a trillion miles away. I don't give a damn about silly Gong-esque sound collages. Compare the melodies of Paranoid Android to Piano Lessons, for instance.
I hear Paranoid Android going bum badum bum boo bum badabum bu dumbadumdum bowudduhhhwuhhduhwuhhhhwooooo. wahh wha whee whaaaaa wheyyy wheeeeee whaaaaayayayayyaaaaaaa.
I hear Piano Lessons going dum dum dum dudum dum dum wahhhhhhhhhh dum dum dum dudum dum dum. dododododododo dododododododo. Obviously the former is going a lot more places, takes longer to repeat, changes more often, and swings in a wider arc.
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Any Colour You Like
Prog Reviewer
Joined: May 15 2009
Status: Offline
Points: 12294
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Posted: June 11 2011 at 01:36 |
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Radiohead is also slightly more whiny than PT, the whiny-arc radius is more narrow and poncey.
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Henry Plainview
Forum Senior Member
Joined: May 26 2008
Location: Declined
Status: Offline
Points: 16715
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Posted: June 11 2011 at 01:39 |
Any Colour You Like wrote:
Radiohead is also slightly more whiny than PT, the whiny-arc radius is more narrow and poncey.
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I can agree with that, although I agree with Alitare that Radiohead are a lot better at what they do.
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if you own a sodastream i hate you
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