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JrKASperov
Forum Senior Member
Joined: July 07 2004
Status: Offline
Points: 904
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Posted: October 17 2004 at 17:22 |
Thou shallt hire Bill Bruford, for he waseth in all three of the major king of prog bands.
(genesis,yes, king crimson)
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Epic.
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arcer
Prog Reviewer
Joined: September 01 2004
Location: United Kingdom
Status: Offline
Points: 1239
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Posted: October 17 2004 at 17:34 |
Thous shalt attempt to insert a lot of greek/roman mythology into your songs
Thou shalt play the mandola/madolin/mandocello/anything with mando in front of it
Thous shalt be surrounded by keyboards on stage - at least three deep on every side
Thou shalt have a very very very big drum riser
Thou shalt have a high voice (men), ethereal voice (women)
Thou shalt have a pushy bass player, over-zealous drummer, guitar player interested in creating angular soundscape, away-with-the-fairies singer and occasionally a member of the band who does nothing but is billed as 'percussionist'
thou shalt not ever say the word 'concise'
thou shalt wear spandex and or satin
thou shalt sell steadily fewer and fewer records until you are a self-financing collective releasing triple cds based on the works of obscure 19th century fantasists via the internet and living in a tree house
thous shalt split up, reform, hate the other members of your band, have a nervous breakdown and tour for the money
thou shalt get one's head together in the country several times during a 30-year career
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threefates
Forum Senior Member
Joined: June 30 2004
Location: United States
Status: Offline
Points: 4215
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Posted: October 17 2004 at 20:45 |
Thou shalt not allow record companies to force you to into recording albums that really aren't in your best interest. You also shouldn't allow them to take pictures of you on a beach looking like the BeeGees....
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THIS IS ELP
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asuma
Forum Senior Member
Joined: July 23 2004
Location: Canada
Status: Offline
Points: 230
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Posted: October 17 2004 at 22:15 |
thou's album covers will have your band's name and
the name of the album in the center-middle. or not at
all on the cover.
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*Remember all advice given by Asuma is for entertainment purposes only. Asuma is not a licensed medical doctor, psychologist, or counselor and he does not play one on TV.*
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Lunarscape
Forum Senior Member
Joined: September 19 2004
Location: Brazil
Status: Offline
Points: 374
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Posted: October 17 2004 at 23:51 |
Thou shalt sell thy "Unplugged MTV" cut for a fortune !
Thou shalt tour Latin America when nobody else wants to book your tours ! and or if thou are really decadent !
Thou shalt trade in the longtime faithful wife for a "plastified" pinup babe so at least some midia attention wilt be earned !
__________
Lunar ![](smileys/smiley17.gif)
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Music Is The Soul Bird That Flies In The Immense Heart Of The Listener . . .
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richardh
Prog Reviewer
Joined: February 18 2004
Location: United Kingdom
Status: Offline
Points: 29298
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Posted: October 18 2004 at 03:04 |
Followers of thou shall queue for the toliets at concerts unless thou is female.
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Jim Garten
Special Collaborator
Retired Admin & Razor Guru
Joined: February 02 2004
Location: South England
Status: Offline
Points: 14693
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Posted: October 18 2004 at 03:44 |
Thou shalt have one member responsible for sacking all other members of the best lineup, and steadily replacing them with less worthy musicians.....
Hi there Mr Box.......
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Jon Lord 1941 - 2012
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Peter
Special Collaborator
Honorary Collaborator
Joined: January 31 2004
Location: Canada
Status: Offline
Points: 9669
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Posted: October 18 2004 at 08:59 |
Ha! Funny stuff, folks, and great thread, Frenchie!![Clap](https://www.progarchives.com/forum/smileys/smiley32.gif)
How about this one:
#27, Addendum 12-B: Thy complex, convoluted and pretentious over-long compositions, coupled with thy wordy, rambling, pompous and semi-coherent lyrics, shalt in turn inspire complex, convoluted, pretentious over-long, wordy, rambling, pompous and semi-coherent reviews.![Geek](https://www.progarchives.com/forum/smileys/smiley23.gif)
(Guilty!) ![Embarrassed](https://www.progarchives.com/forum/smileys/smiley9.gif)
Edited by Peter Rideout
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"And, has thou slain the Jabberwock? Come to my arms, my beamish boy! O frabjous day! Callooh! Callay!' He chortled in his joy.
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dude
Forum Senior Member
Joined: January 30 2004
Location: Australia
Status: Offline
Points: 1338
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Posted: October 18 2004 at 09:12 |
guilty indeed mr Rideout!!![](smileys/smiley2.gif)
oops!! im in trouble now RUN AWAY, RUN AWAY!!
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Man Erg
Special Collaborator
Honorary Collaborator
Joined: August 26 2004
Location: Isle of Lucy
Status: Offline
Points: 7456
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Posted: October 18 2004 at 09:26 |
Thee Drummer must hath the hugest gong behind him onstage whetherest he playest it or not forsooth.
All Roadies,Musical Instrument Manufacturers ,Girlfriends/Wives,Pets and Pubs,Bars and Hotels must hath ye honourable credit on the album sleeve.
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threefates
Forum Senior Member
Joined: June 30 2004
Location: United States
Status: Offline
Points: 4215
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Posted: October 18 2004 at 09:57 |
Man Erg wrote:
All Roadies,Musical Instrument Manufacturers ,Girlfriends/Wives,Pets and Pubs,Bars and Hotels must hath ye honourable credit on the album sleeve. |
Geez I could be famous by now... Probably mentioned as the pet however..![](smileys/smiley5.gif)
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THIS IS ELP
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sigod
Forum Senior Member
Joined: September 17 2004
Location: London
Status: Offline
Points: 2779
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Posted: October 18 2004 at 10:22 |
Jim Garten wrote:
Thou shalt have one member responsible for sacking all other members of the best lineup, and steadily replacing them with less worthy musicians.....
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Wow, I hope that doesn't happen to Crimson....![](smileys/smiley36.gif)
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I must remind the right honourable gentleman that a monologue is not a decision.
- Clement Atlee, on Winston Churchill
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Dick Heath
Special Collaborator
Jazz-Rock Specialist
Joined: April 19 2004
Location: England
Status: Offline
Points: 12818
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Posted: October 18 2004 at 19:09 |
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Garion81
Special Collaborator
Honorary Collaborator
Joined: May 22 2004
Location: So Cal, USA
Status: Offline
Points: 4338
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Posted: October 18 2004 at 19:16 |
Thou must have one member who will play a Glockenspiel or The Vibes at least once on one album and tour.
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threefates
Forum Senior Member
Joined: June 30 2004
Location: United States
Status: Offline
Points: 4215
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Posted: October 18 2004 at 20:53 |
Thou shalt treat thy groupies very well and make sure they get the point of whatever it is you are thinking......
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THIS IS ELP
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Dan Bobrowski
Special Collaborator
Honorary Collaborator
Joined: February 02 2004
Location: United States
Status: Offline
Points: 5243
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Posted: October 18 2004 at 21:01 |
Thou shall make loud, WEEEE, THRRRLLL, WEEE, BLIP, POP, WZZZZHHHSSSS, sounds with thy synth whenever other instruments could play something more meaningful, but would takest away the spotlight from thy godly visage.
Keith who? ![](smileys/smiley5.gif)
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threefates
Forum Senior Member
Joined: June 30 2004
Location: United States
Status: Offline
Points: 4215
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Posted: October 18 2004 at 21:54 |
danbo wrote:
Thou shall make loud, WEEEE, THRRRLLL, WEEE, BLIP, POP, WZZZZHHHSSSS, sounds with thy synth whenever other instruments could play something more meaningful, but would takest away the spotlight from thy godly visage.
Keith who? ![](smileys/smiley5.gif)
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Hey Keith never took my eyes away from the godly image...![](smileys/smiley4.gif)
![](http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v20/Pebble/Greg%20Lake/Greg-774.jpg)
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THIS IS ELP
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gdub411
Forum Senior Member
Joined: August 24 2004
Location: United States
Status: Offline
Points: 3484
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Posted: October 18 2004 at 21:55 |
Greg Lake looks kind of short...how tall was he TF?
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threefates
Forum Senior Member
Joined: June 30 2004
Location: United States
Status: Offline
Points: 4215
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Posted: October 18 2004 at 22:27 |
He's actually right on 6 ft.
Actually from this pic.... Greg is 6 ft... .Carl is about 5.10... and Keith is about 5.9
![](http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v20/Pebble/ELP/EY-15.jpg)
Edited by threefates
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THIS IS ELP
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Jim Garten
Special Collaborator
Retired Admin & Razor Guru
Joined: February 02 2004
Location: South England
Status: Offline
Points: 14693
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Posted: October 19 2004 at 07:51 |
sigod wrote:
Jim Garten wrote:
Thou shalt have one member responsible for sacking all other members of the best lineup, and steadily replacing them with less worthy musicians..... |
Wow, I hope that doesn't happen to Crimson....![](smileys/smiley36.gif) |
Surely you are not referring to the Bruford Levin / Mastellotto Gunn situation.....
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Jon Lord 1941 - 2012
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