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Stormcrow View Drop Down
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: April 26 2004 at 17:36

Bloody, largely skinless, and wrapped in a discarded caftan; Stormcrow slowly staggers in the tropical sun, clutching a CD of Mariah Carey singing the greatest hits of Michael Bolton and displaying that he's picked up a curious limp.

"Thinks I died, does he?"

"Flay me, will he?"

"Thinks he's discarded me on the midden heap of history, does he?"

"I must hie me hence and have Zildjian tend my sundry wounds!  Then it's time to plot my vengence!"

It's a long, long hot way to the Fortress Of Solipsism™.

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Dick Heath View Drop Down
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: April 26 2004 at 17:39
Quote:
The Portsmouth Sinfonia plays popular classics (if you haven't come across this one, none of the orchestra knew how to play their instruments, classic stuff!).

And don't forget Eno was in there somewhere. Untogether orchestra, musically like the sound of finger nails down a blackboard. Made my teeth grate.  Lovely story that a huge proportion of the audience for their Royal Albert Hall gig, walked out - made the mistake in thinking PS were a proper symphony orchestra . LOL.
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: April 26 2004 at 18:46

 The tow-headed Danbo searches out the recovering Stormcrow to offer assistance in capturing, spitting, seasoning and slow roasting the weak Canadian's pitiful body, before offering it for the population's consumption. The fatty, stringy meat sizzling like bacon. Yumm!! bleeeech

Storm is painfully weak after having his flesh stripped from his body by Rideout and his pack of skin ripping weasels. Danbo provides Storm with healing wheat bread and weasel meat (the pack thins, eh, Canuck?). Plenty of fresh brewed beer is available as Garten refills the Governor's casks with his own (Pee-sner) brand.  

Storms voice whispers, "Peter's power is waning, even viagra won't save him now."


Maori




Edited by danbo
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: April 26 2004 at 21:39

 Uh oh! Drums in the distance! (Sounds like an old Carl Palmer routine....) The natives are getting restless!

Ermm Maybe I can placate the murderous simpletons with a cut of my private dental floss crop....

Now, where did I leave my pygmy pony and zircon-encrusted tweezers?

"And, has thou slain the Jabberwock?
Come to my arms, my beamish boy!
O frabjous day! Callooh! Callay!'
He chortled in his joy.
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: April 26 2004 at 22:14
Originally posted by Easy Livin Easy Livin wrote:

Vibrationbaby.

Sorry to be pedantic, Uriah Heep's a band which mean a lot to me (as you might guess!). David Byron actually died in his own home in Maidenhead near London, where he lived alone. He left Uriah Heep in 1976, some 9 years before his death, and went on to record with Rough Diamond and the Byron Band, as well as a couple of solo albums. I've just finished reading Jeff Perkins excellent biography of Byron "Born to Perform", an essential read for all classic Heep fans.

 

Thanks Easy! I knew Byron was dead, but learned so only lately, and didn't know how or when. Too bad. Unhappy

Ermm The rock & roll lifestyle often exacts a heavy price.... 

"And, has thou slain the Jabberwock?
Come to my arms, my beamish boy!
O frabjous day! Callooh! Callay!'
He chortled in his joy.
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: April 27 2004 at 03:36

GENTLEMEN REMEMBER WHAT I SAID BEFORE ABOUT NOT LETTING YOU STAY UP TO WATCH CARTOONS!!!.......OH WAIT WERE ON A DESERT ISLAND..... WELL I WONT LET YOU STAY UP TO WATCH COCONUTS FALL OF THE TREES IF YOU DONT BEHAVE!!!

AND NOW FOR THAT SECRET RENDEVOUS WITH MARIAH CAREY

p.s velvetclown has returned!!

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Direct Link To This Post Posted: April 27 2004 at 04:11

A dark dot on the horizon soon reveals itself to be a hot-air balloon, reminiscent of that constructed by the Montgolfier brothers, but by the looks of it, before their time. A Da Vinci design, in all likelihood.

As it nears the island, it is apparent that the pilot is having difficulties keeping it up (quiet at the back...), as great tongues of flame lick the inside of the canvas, lighting up the interior of a slowly sagging, limp form (I said QUIET at the back!!!).

A flight-jacketed and behelmeted figure, replete with goggles appears at the edge of the basket, which is beginning to skim the frothy, foaming waves. It leaps into the turqouise waters, and slightly spoils the overall heroic-ness by floudering around desperately for a while until his feet hit the sand and he can walk up the beach.

Dripping, covered with seaweed, and a crab hanging from his goggles, he proceeds to remove his helmet charismatically (stop sniggering - I won't warn you again!).

"YEEEEOWCH!!!"

The figure shakes a gauntletted hand frantically, in an attempt to shake off the rather large crab, which eventually gives up its hold - although not on the gauntlet, and scuttles away with its prize.

The leathers all drop rapidly, under the hot sun, and Cert appears in beach shorts and bright Hawaii shirt, proudly clutching a single CD.

"Guys, guys!!!" he pants, clutching one hand under his arm to stem the flow of dripping blood, "I've got !!...

No, not that...

 - The CD that will change our lives FOREVER!!!!"

He hands it over with trepidation to...

(to be continued ... )

 

P.S. The CD is, of course the genre (of music) defining http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/B0000070S1/qid =1083053387/sr=1-4/ref=sr_1_4/104-5382383-7433536?v=glance&a mp;s=music

**Hot Shot City IS Particularly Good**

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Direct Link To This Post Posted: April 27 2004 at 05:47

THE MEN RAN TO THE REMAINS OF THE BALLOON

"ARE YOU ALRIGHT" THEY CALLED

WHEN THEY RAECHED CERTIFIED HE WAS SITTING ON THE BEACH WINDED BUT UNHARMED "WHERE DID YOU GET THAT BALLOON?" STORMCROW ASKED

FROM SOME PEOPLE ON THIS ISLAND" CERTIFIED REPLIED "THERES A PROFESSOR A COUPLE OF WOMEN(A STIR GOES THROUGH THE ASSEMBLED MEN) SOME RICH COUPLE AND SOME OTHERS THE PROFESSOR IS RAELLY SMART HE CAN BUILD RADIOS AND GYMS AND OTHER STUFF BUT HE CANT FIX A HOLE IN A DAMN BOAT!!!ANYWAY HE BUILT ME THIS BALLON"

"WHAT HAVE YOU GOT THEIR "DUDE ASKED

"IS IT FOOD! ,CIGARETTES !MARIAH CAREY!"(DUDE SMILES TO HIMSELF THINKING OF LAST NIGHTS SECRET RENDEVOUS) THEY ALL ASK.

"NO ITS AN URGENT MESSAGE .....GENTLEMEN PREPARE YOURSELVES............PEARL HARBOR HAS JUST BEEN BOMBED!!!!"

"WAIT A MINUTE!!!!!" SAID DANBO "THAT WAS OVER SIXTY YEARS AGO"

"REALLY!" CERTIFEID LOOKED PUZZLED "I THOUGHT THAT SOLDEIR LOOKED TO OLD TO BE WEARING A UNIFORM! I WONDER IF ANYONE KNOWS HES ON THAT TINY ISLAND ALONE!"

"WELL WHATS IN THE OTHER PACKAGE?" ASKED DUDE

"ITS A NEW CD SOMETHING THAT WILL CHANGE OUR LIVES" WAS CERTIFEIDS EXCITED REPLY "WE MUST GET THIS TO SAR MAJOR RIDEOUT IMMEDIATLY"!!!

THE MEN MARCHED BACK TO THE CAMP WHISTLING THE THEME FROM "BRIDGE ON THE RIVER KWAI"

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Direct Link To This Post Posted: April 27 2004 at 07:42
Garten stared curiously at a large crab scuttling by waving a leather gauntlet in triumph; stubbing out his 97th cigarette of the day, he chuckled to himself, coughed, coughed again, hacked, coughed, coughed, coughed & hacked & finally expectorated with such force, that a passing seagull was stunned by a kidney, ejected forcibly from an orifice never meant for such a purpose.

Garten re-arranged himself with the help of a warm spoon & a mirror, then chuckled again, this time with more care - "I told Cert he wouldn't keep it up for long" (can I hear laughing at the back there?).

Turning back to the illegal still he had fashioned from a discarded buffalo, two coconuts and a cunningly hollowed out pelican, he started to refill the smoky retort with more of his 'secret ingredient', reserved specifically for the recently elected King Rideout:

"King? KING?!? If it weren't for those fawning toadies, Dude & Stormcrow, he would never have attained high office - such a post was meant for ME!"

Casting aside the now empty chamber-pot, Garten's tears got the better of him, his knees buckled and he sank into a pit of despair, a slough of despondency, and a pool of crab dung. He looked up to the skies to berate an increasingly oblivious God, and was immediately overwhelmed by 2 simultanous thoughts:

1 - Pigs DO fly

2 - They relieve themselves on the wing

Garten sighed, bowed his head & awaited the inevitable.

Edited by Jim Garten

Jon Lord 1941 - 2012
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: April 27 2004 at 08:47

Still weak from his injuries, Stormcrow stands shakily as his faithful raccoon sidekick Zildjian and the newly repentant danbo, spackle his bare muscles and sinew with quick drying, kevlar fiber laced silicon rubber.  The hydraulic cyborg muscle implants and titanium bone reinforcements seem to be healing.

Stormcrow thinks to himself: "This danbo showed true cleverness to pilfer the Moosehead beer elixir of life from the dastardlytyranical, despotic Rideout

"Otherwise I might not have survived."

Idly gnawing the breastbone of one of the very weasels that may have originally ripped his flesh, he murmers, "Careful there, that's a tender area."

Drifting into a feverish euphoria, Stormcrow dreams of radioactive beaver and installing turbojet power on all-weather tropical fruit bats.......

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Direct Link To This Post Posted: April 27 2004 at 10:56
Originally posted by Peter Rideout Peter Rideout wrote:

Originally posted by Easy Livin Easy Livin wrote:

Vibrationbaby.

Sorry to be pedantic, Uriah Heep's a band which mean a lot to me (as you might guess!). David Byron actually died in his own home in Maidenhead near London, where he lived alone. He left Uriah Heep in 1976, some 9 years before his death, and went on to record with Rough Diamond and the Byron Band, as well as a couple of solo albums. I've just finished reading Jeff Perkins excellent biography of Byron "Born to Perform", an essential read for all classic Heep fans.

 

Thanks Easy! I knew Byron was dead, but learned so only lately, and didn't know how or when. Too bad. Unhappy

Ermm The rock & roll lifestyle often exacts a heavy price.... 

THANKS FOR SETTING ME STRAIGHT ON THIS ONE. Demons & Wizards would be a good album to have on a desert island. It's one of those albums where you can listen to every single track. The Wizard is my favourite Heep track.
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: April 27 2004 at 12:15

Danbo, in serious need of a replacement side-kick after banishing the radio-active beavers to Las Vegas, enlists the aid of a passing Bandersnatch. Whiffling through the frumious Tumtum forest, Danbo and the Bandersnatch plot the demise of the manxome foe, Peter Rideout. "Hmm, thought Danbo, "no vorpal swords available in this tulgey wood. Ah, a slithy tove, trained to nip the mastoid complex slightly behind the jaw bone, could render poor slave Mariah free from the grasp of that peevish imp, Rideout." A plan, even a poor one, executed properly, can have positive effects.

Bandersnatch and Danbo gyre'd about the wabe, searching for the tove of choice. As brillig approached, time waned, the window of opportunity shrank like a cigarette in Garten's lips. "Callooh" exclaimed the Bandersnatch as the perfect tove came into view. Tripping over a mome rath, the Bandersnatch loosed his hold upon the slithy tove. "Oh fuit gibbers," cursed Danbo. "The burbling Rideout will snorpel another day. Cert will force us all to listen to that Hasselhoff disc again. Oh the humanity!!!"

Moral: A poor plan, poorly executed, has disastrous effects.   

 



Edited by danbo
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: April 27 2004 at 12:24
BANDERSNATCH!!!?....I WAS JUST TALKING TO LARRY NIVEN THE OTHER DAY...........
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: April 27 2004 at 14:55

Originally posted by dude dude wrote:

BANDERSNATCH!!!?....I WAS JUST TALKING TO LARRY NIVEN THE OTHER DAY...........

Larry Niven, author of Ringworm?

"And, has thou slain the Jabberwock?
Come to my arms, my beamish boy!
O frabjous day! Callooh! Callay!'
He chortled in his joy.
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: April 27 2004 at 17:41
My fave Larry Niven is All he Myriad Ways.
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Dan Bobrowski View Drop Down
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: April 28 2004 at 18:41

After Danbo finishes feeding the bumbling Bandersnatch to Stormcrow, he stuffs a few of Garten's discarded cigarette butts into his ears and attends Cert's Hasselhoff concerto. Egad, "Hot Shot City" over and over and over again.

Meanwhile, at the Rideout Fortress, "Epitaph" pours from the speakers as Mariah again feeds whispy Peter another dollop of liquifying chedar cheese. "You must eat to get strong, pumpkin" quips the Top 40 diva as she wipes a bit of saliva from the wobbling jowls. 



Edited by danbo
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: July 04 2005 at 23:47
ApproveAn oldie but a goodie for Danbo, Jimmy G, all the great old-timers, and the spirit of Stormcrow....

Edited by Peter
"And, has thou slain the Jabberwock?
Come to my arms, my beamish boy!
O frabjous day! Callooh! Callay!'
He chortled in his joy.
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: July 05 2005 at 00:14

In no order:

  • The Box (VdGG)
  • Playing the Fool (GG)
  • Octopus (GG)
  • Selling England by the Pound (Genesis)
  • Foxtrot (Genesis)
  • Seconds Out (Genesis)
  • Live at Carnegie Hall (Renaissance)
  • Shine On [Box] (Pink Floyd)
  • Yessongs (Yes)
  • Yesshows (Yes)
  • Welcome Back My Friends... (ELP)
  • Thick as a Brick (JT)

This is impossible...........I am missing about 100 CD's I'd NEED!

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the dragon View Drop Down
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: July 05 2005 at 03:15

Spectral Mornings       In The Land Of Grey And Pink      Tarkus

Emerson Lake & Palmer       Selling England By The Pound      Foxtrot

Red Queen To Gryphon Three       In The Court Of The Crimson King An Observation by King Crimson       Dark Side Of The Moon

Quatermass      The Least We Can Do Is Wave To Each Other       Close To The Edge

Still alive...
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: July 05 2005 at 15:30
I would have to pick double LPs to get maximum amount of music time:

Amon Duul II - Yeti
Amon Duul II - Tanze der Lemminge
Ange - Tome VI
Camel: A Live Record
Can - Tago Mago
Colliseum - Live
Miles Davis - Agharta or Pangea
Grateful Dead - Live Dead
Grobschnitt - Solar Music Live
Man - Rhinos, Winos and Lunatics
Van Der Graaf Generator - Vital
Walter Wegmuller - Tarot

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