Love advice.

Yeah, don't think I'm not totally aware of the fact that this situation is completely and utterly pathetic, but... I needed to talk to open, experiences (ha) proghead men about this. So bear with me, will you please?

Zee situation. I've known this guy as an acquaintance for 3 years now, more or less. Let's name him Bob. Bob and I have been in the same classes in school for 3 years. He was the one who introduced me to progressive rock and guitar and ... meh, music as it is in general. I had this immense appreciation of him in the beginning, nothing more. I just... thought of him as a great person.

Then comes April of 2004. I became good friends with his best friend, one thing lead to another, I got to know him a little bit more, feelings developped, I didn't know what those feelings were.So I exploited them by trying to get to know the guy. In Sept. 2004 I took a walk with him and told him that he was the most beautiful person I've ever known, and that if I knew I had the chance, I would have taken it. What he did was giggle (please remember that being stoned is a 100% possibility, in his case), rub my back, and tell me that I was a great person.

Since then... I don't know. Progheads are f**ked up people, as most of you have probably realized already. I don't know what he wants from this, I don't know what I want from it. I've told him on a few occasions that I wanted to get to know him, but his f**ked up state of mind / personality made it impossible for me. And we've continued to have this off on friendship. With signs. With pride. With secrets.

But today ... I thought it over. I'm graduating. I'm moving to Cali. Maybe there's a time for it, and it is now.

So my question (which is actually VERY simple, I could have saved 58903 characters) -- if you were the guy involved in this, how would you react, and in which way would you prefer the girl telling you that she loved you? Or not tell you at all?

Yeah. I'll go wallow in my patheticness now.


EDIT - Damn right, I'm a senior member now.



Edited by selling_echoes

1: NEVER TRUST A MAN WHO GIGGLES,REAL MEN LAUGH....SERIOUSLY, YOU TRY TO GET TO KNOW HIM YOU HAVE "FEELINGS" FOR HIM.HMMMMM YEP I WOULD SAY THAT TEETERS DANGEROUSLY IN THE DIRECTION OF........LOVE(WHATEVER THAT IS IM STILL TRYING TO WORK IT OUT MYSELF)

ITS FUNNY ,I DONT THINK THERE IS A GREAT DEAL OF DIFFERENCE BETWEEN LOVE AND HATE AFTER ALL BOTH ARE EMOTIONAL EXTREMES,PEOPLE DO CRAZY THINGS FOR EACH,PEOPLE HAVE KILLED FOR EACH AND ONE CAN TURN INTO THE OTHER VERY QUICKLY,EACH CAN AROUSE THE GREATEST OF PASSIONS AND BOTH HAVE BEEN A GOLDMINE FOR LITERITURE.

ANYWAY BE CAREFUL THINK, ABOUT WHAT YOU ACTUALLY WANT AND ITS EASY TO SAY BECAUSE WE ALL FALL FOR IT BUT DONT LET YOUR HEART RULE YOUR HEAD.

YOU MENTION THIS MANS FU$^ED UP STATE OF MIND/PERSONALITY,JUST WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?

THINK ABOUT IT, WHEN THE CHEMICAL REACTIONS AND THAT "LOVEY" FEELING WEARS OF YOU ARE LEFT WITH THE REALITY OF THE PERSON YOU ARE WITH AND IF THERE ARE EMOTIONAL/PSYCHOLOGICAL PROBLEMS WHAT YOU TOLERATE NOW FOR THE SAKE OF THAT " LOVEY" FEELING THEY MAY BECOME A PROBLEM LATER ON.

IM NOT TRYING TO PUT A DAMPENER ON THINGS I AM JUST SAYING..." BE CAREFUL"

BUT IF YOU HAVE MADE UP YOUR MIND THEN YOU HAVE ANSWERED YOUR OWN QUESTION YOU SAY YOU ARE IN LOVE SO TELL HIM HOW YOU FEEL.

THE ROTTEN PART ABOUT THAT APPROACH IS THE POSIBILITY(AND IN THE END IT IS THE ONLY APPROACH, THE PROBLEM IS IN HOW YOU APPROACH IT)  OF REJECTION BUT THATS THE RISK WE ALL TAKE,AFTER ALL HE CAN EITHER SAY NO OR YES,BE PREPARED FOR BOTH.

IN THE END IF YOU LOVE THIS GUY(AND YOU USE THE WORD)THEN SOONER OR LATER YOU HAVE TO SHOW YOUR HAND(THE PINK BITS COME LATER)

GOOD LUCK I HOPE IT GOES WELL FOR YOU.

 

UNCLE DUDE

LOOK FOR MY NEW AGONY AUNT COLUMN IN THE LATEST "PROG ARCHIVES" MAGAZINE OUT NOW $2.50.

selling_echoes wrote: Yeah, don't think I'm not totally aware of the fact that this situation is completely and utterly pathetic, but... I needed to talk to open, experiences (ha) proghead men about this. So bear with me, will you please? Zee situation. I've known this guy as an acquaintance for 3 years now, more or less. Let's name him Bob. Bob and I have been in the same classes in school for 3 years. He was the one who introduced me to progressive rock and guitar and ... meh, music as it is in general. I had this immense appreciation of him in the beginning, nothing more. I just... thought of him as a great person. Then comes April of 2004. I became good friends with his best friend, one thing lead to another, I got to know him a little bit more, feelings developped, I didn't know what those feelings were.So I exploited them by trying to get to know the guy. In Sept. 2004 I took a walk with him and told him that he was the most beautiful person I've ever known, and that if I knew I had the chance, I would have taken it. What he did was giggle (please remember that being stoned is a 100% possibility, in his case), rub my back, and tell me that I was a great person. Since then... I don't know. Progheads are f**ked up people, as most of you have probably realized already. I don't know what he wants from this, I don't know what I want from it. I've told him on a few occasions that I wanted to get to know him, but his f**ked up state of mind / personality made it impossible for me. And we've continued to have this off on friendship. With signs. With pride. With secrets. But today ... I thought it over. I'm graduating. I'm moving to Cali. Maybe there's a time for it, and it is now. So my question (which is actually VERY simple, I could have saved 58903 characters) -- if you were the guy involved in this, how would you react, and in which way would you prefer the girl telling you that she loved you? Or not tell you at all? Yeah. I'll go wallow in my patheticness now. EDIT - Damn right, I'm a senior member now.

Just tell the guy, but dont say it like "I LOVE YOU! LOVE ME BACK!" do it gently. Chances are if he was stoned, hes now confused about the whole situation. Having been in a similar situation more than once, all i can say is if you dont come out with it, he wont. Guys like him (and myself) dont really know how to react to those kind of things, no matter how blatant your hints are he wont get it unless you come right out and say it. Dont be shy.

hard to do 3F8s when you're infatuated... but I think
you're advice is basically sound. He sounds like he
is messy, confused and a lost cause - something
most women seem to find hugely attractive in a man
for some reason (at least it seems to have got
me girls in the past )
Selling Echoes - my advice would be to let this thing
lie until you're first semester or so of college is done.
College (especially) away from home is a hugely
important time in which your world view will expand
exponentially.
The people are more interesting, the experiences
richer and more satisfying emotionally and
intellectually and you will come back a stronger,
more self-assured person. The you can hook up with
Bob and review your attraction with mor objective
eyes. If you're still game then by all means express
your interest more directly but my feeling is you will
have passed him by emotionally and intellectually.
You can probably do better than some stoner rocker
with an over-inflated sense of his own value.
His prog is now your prog - you don't need the
messenger no more.

i wish there was a lady for me in my school, but they all listen to britney spears or p diidy. i cant date a STINKY LIKE LIKE THAT. FORGET ABOUT THAT! IM NOT GONNA SACURFICE sh*t! GIRLS SHOULD BE FLOCKING TO ME! I AM THE sh*t! YO!

selling_echoes wrote: First question - Is Eddy always a bear? Chicks don't dig bears.  Dude : When I say he's f**ked up it isn't the drugged / crazy meaning. He just isn't like the other kids, his brain doesn't work that way. he doesn't chase after girls nor follow the school norms, doesn't react to what others find amusing, stuff like that. I guess it's why I like him. There's also the fact that ... he just does things to his relationship with me that makes me wonder why he would do it, if he doesn't care at all. Things like discussing my life with his best friend to my ignorance, like staring me in the face for a long, long moment silently, and then looking away. f**k it, I'm so screwed over. Threefates / hangedman / arcer -- I guess what you say is right, he might not be the next best thing in the long run... but I'm not strong enough to tell myself that I'm better off without him. I'm completely and totally infatuated. Over my head. To be quite honest, Dave's the most amazing person I've ever met, and I'm not sure I want to let that pass... How do I approach a person gently?

he's a pillock , move on and forget him!
have more self-respect girl !

selling_echoes wrote: First question - Is Eddy always a bear? Chicks don't dig bears.  Dude : When I say he's f**ked up it isn't the drugged / crazy meaning. He just isn't like the other kids, his brain doesn't work that way. he doesn't chase after girls nor follow the school norms, doesn't react to what others find amusing, stuff like that. I guess it's why I like him. There's also the fact that ... he just does things to his relationship with me that makes me wonder why he would do it, if he doesn't care at all. Things like discussing my life with his best friend to my ignorance, like staring me in the face for a long, long moment silently, and then looking away. f**k it, I'm so screwed over. Threefates / hangedman / arcer -- I guess what you say is right, he might not be the next best thing in the long run... but I'm not strong enough to tell myself that I'm better off without him. I'm completely and totally infatuated. Over my head. To be quite honest, Dave's the most amazing person I've ever met, and I'm not sure I want to let that pass... How do I approach a person gently?

Thats a hard question. Gentle would be calmly explaining that you are drawn to him and would like to pursue a relationship, and make sure that your not some sort of wierdo whose turn on is emotionally screwed up people that you feel you can "cure"(A few of these around). But honestly if this guy is anything like i understand (or anything like me), he is NOT interested in a long term relationship, and by long term i mean two months. Do it only if you feel like you have to get it out of your system, you probably wont be friends with him anymore when its over. And I agree with musical box, if he cant see that your cute, intelligent, and blessed with good taste already then your chances of success are really low. (I mean its f**king hard to find anyone into prog let alone a nice girl )

Oh, is this great for my ego or what?

Emotionally screwed up is a vulgarized way of putting things. He just ... isn't as open as normal people are. It takes time before getting to him, I suppose that's all there is to it.

You guys have the wrong (and bad) impression of Dave, I think. I don't know if I'm trying to defend him or not... but he's not the kind of person you guys seem to think he is.

Why does that matter? I don't know.

Hangedman---I'm thinking of telling him precisely that he is worth more to me than a relationship, so if it isn't mutual, I take back everything I have said so far and we forget that conversation ever happened.


Everything comes back down to nothing, so yes [useful_idiot] it might be a waste of time indeed.

If he ain't into you he must be gay. Move on girl.