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arcer
Prog Reviewer
Joined: September 01 2004
Location: United Kingdom
Status: Offline
Points: 1239
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Posted: December 09 2004 at 16:28 |
A psychologist wants to undertake research into IQs and professions so posts a message in various places asking for volunteers to come and tell her what jobs they do.
The first to arrive at the office is striking looking woman in a sharp business suit.
"What's your IQ" asks the psych.
"145" says the woman.
"Oh, impressive and your job?"
"Brain surgeon."
"Very good, thanks" says the woman.
this is a repeared several times with varying results, "150 - Astrophysicist", "140 - trial lawyer" etc until a rather disreputable figure with lank greasy hair and pizza on his sweater walks through the door.
"So," says the psych. "What's your IQ"
"Duuuuhhhhhhhhh 75," says the ne'er-do-well.
"I see. So.... what sticks do you use?"
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Jim Garten
Special Collaborator
Retired Admin & Razor Guru
Joined: February 02 2004
Location: South England
Status: Offline
Points: 14693
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Posted: December 10 2004 at 03:15 |
Had that offer come from someone used to drinking good old British real-ale, it would have been tempting.
However, what you fail to grasp, Peter, is that the beer has to be good quality pre-regurgitation, not the fermented moose milk you routinely imbibe. The standard practice for disposal of - how can I put this - collonial beer vomit is to strain it, allow it to clarify, fizz it up again, then sell it to Australia, labelled as 'Fosters'.
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Jon Lord 1941 - 2012
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sigod
Forum Senior Member
Joined: September 17 2004
Location: London
Status: Offline
Points: 2779
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Posted: December 10 2004 at 08:14 |
Finding a great drummer is like finding a pair of lesbians who are willing to help you with your amateur pole dancing documentary.
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I must remind the right honourable gentleman that a monologue is not a decision.
- Clement Atlee, on Winston Churchill
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Certif1ed
Special Collaborator
Honorary Collaborator
Joined: April 08 2004
Location: England
Status: Offline
Points: 7559
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Posted: December 10 2004 at 15:26 |
arcer wrote:
why are good drummers so rare?
Because they can never remember the way to the rehearsal room, or indeed, occasionally the name of the band they are in.
Actually, I had the good fortune to play with a number of excellent drummers, two of whom could actually write!!!! I consider myself blessed
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As Oscar Wilde might have said; "To know one good drummer is very fortunate. To know two is greedy."
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arcer
Prog Reviewer
Joined: September 01 2004
Location: United Kingdom
Status: Offline
Points: 1239
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Posted: December 10 2004 at 17:38 |
trouble was that one of the one who could write also wanted to write the music and insisted on wasting hours in rehearsals tapping away at piano keys in the search for the notes that were in his addled head but not within his ambit as a pianist.
Being a good guitar player/singer/ego-maniac I fired him....
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mikedevilsfan
Forum Newbie
Joined: November 20 2004
Location: United States
Status: Offline
Points: 37
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Posted: December 12 2004 at 06:41 |
Woah Woah woah, slow down there children. As a prog Drummer I can honestly say that it's harder to find a bassist and a singer tan a drummer, no question.
Take it from a guy who has searched high and low for non flakes, it goes both way. I also do some of the aranging (for all you non musician jokesters out there).
Michael
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sigod
Forum Senior Member
Joined: September 17 2004
Location: London
Status: Offline
Points: 2779
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Posted: December 13 2004 at 07:12 |
mikedevilsfan wrote:
Woah Woah woah, slow down there children. As a prog Drummer I can honestly say that it's harder to find a bassist and a singer tan a drummer, no question.
Take it from a guy who has searched high and low for non flakes, it goes both way. I also do some of the aranging (for all you non musician jokesters out there).
Michael
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You're onto a losing streak here mate. No-one hails the worth of a good drummer and to get the rest of a band to consider the stick-man as a fellow musician would be a miracle. I know from personal experience and it's why I switched to guitar .
For what it's worth you are part of an elite group and prog would be lost without you
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I must remind the right honourable gentleman that a monologue is not a decision.
- Clement Atlee, on Winston Churchill
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James Lee
Special Collaborator
Honorary Collaborator
Joined: June 05 2004
Status: Offline
Points: 3525
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Posted: December 13 2004 at 23:54 |
To be completely honest, a good drummer isn't as rare as a good singer. Usually the trouble and expense of a drumkit weeds out the pretenders, but there's no such barrier for vocalists...any fool with a throat can start to think they're can sing.
In my experience, drummers tend to cause less trouble, too.
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sigod
Forum Senior Member
Joined: September 17 2004
Location: London
Status: Offline
Points: 2779
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Posted: December 14 2004 at 05:37 |
James Lee wrote:
In my experience, drummers tend to cause less trouble, too.
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Ooh, are you sure???
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I must remind the right honourable gentleman that a monologue is not a decision.
- Clement Atlee, on Winston Churchill
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Shredward
Forum Newbie
Joined: December 21 2004
Location: United Kingdom
Status: Offline
Points: 13
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Posted: December 22 2004 at 15:32 |
Jim Garten wrote:
Had that offer come from someone used to drinking good old British real-ale, it would have been tempting.
However, what you fail to grasp, Peter, is that the beer has to be good quality pre-regurgitation, not the fermented moose milk you routinely imbibe. The standard practice for disposal of - how can I put this - collonial beer vomit is to strain it, allow it to clarify, fizz it up again, then sell it to Australia, labelled as 'Fosters'. |
Absolutely classic. I'm currently on holiday in Houston trying to come to terms with beer that actually tastes worse than Tennents.
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Pure Scottish Power Metal
http:/www.mourningstar.net.tf
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Shredward
Forum Newbie
Joined: December 21 2004
Location: United Kingdom
Status: Offline
Points: 13
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Posted: December 22 2004 at 15:39 |
Incidentally, I've had some incredibly good luck because some friends and I are in the first band we've been really serious about and our drummer is AMAZING!
Singers are hard to find if you want someone who sounds like someone else (e.g. Halford-clones), but it's definately best to go with what you have. I can't sing anywhere near as high as most metal singers, but I write music around the fact that I'm a bass/baritone and by all accounts it works very well (even/especially when I'm singing in 3 part harmony with myself ).
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Pure Scottish Power Metal
http:/www.mourningstar.net.tf
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penguindf12
Prog Reviewer
Joined: September 20 2004
Location: United States
Status: Offline
Points: 831
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Posted: December 24 2004 at 14:26 |
Prog bassists are extremely easy to find. Prog guitarists are a bit harder, but not really that hard. Prog has a sort of converse to normal rock. While most rock bands have trouble finding a good bassist (meaning one who plays along and never embellishes) and they have one guy switch from guitar to bass, prog has too many bassists who end up switching to guitar! (that's probably what I'll be doing).
On the drummer thing, yeah they're real hard to find. Drum kits are LOUD. You have to find someone whose parents will put up with it, plus they have to be good and prog-oriented, and usually drummers are not proggers, but metalheads. That's really the reason.
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sigod
Forum Senior Member
Joined: September 17 2004
Location: London
Status: Offline
Points: 2779
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Posted: December 30 2004 at 07:02 |
penguindf12 wrote:
On the drummer thing, yeah they're real hard to find. Drum kits are LOUD. You have to find someone whose parents will put up with it, plus they have to be good and prog-oriented, and usually drummers are not proggers, but metalheads. That's really the reason.
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When I was really young (back in the 18th century ) and before I had a kit to practice on, I used cushions as drums and I have to say it really helped to develop wrist strength and it was quiet too!! These days I have a Roland TD3 for home practice which are just about as close as present technology will allow to the real thing and at a controlled level
Edited by sigod
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I must remind the right honourable gentleman that a monologue is not a decision.
- Clement Atlee, on Winston Churchill
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notphilip
Forum Newbie
Joined: January 15 2005
Status: Offline
Points: 21
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Posted: January 15 2005 at 22:37 |
us drummers are rare because were so damn cool
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sigod
Forum Senior Member
Joined: September 17 2004
Location: London
Status: Offline
Points: 2779
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Posted: January 17 2005 at 06:59 |
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I must remind the right honourable gentleman that a monologue is not a decision.
- Clement Atlee, on Winston Churchill
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oliverstoned
Special Collaborator
Honorary Collaborator
Joined: March 26 2004
Location: France
Status: Offline
Points: 6308
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Posted: January 21 2005 at 10:48 |
I don't know why, but in popular music today, the prevalent drum sound is what i call "a big sound" in a pejorative way.
For example, i've been to a Soft Machine concert two years ago.
I found all the musicians to be good, except the drummer who had a big sound.
Nothing to do with the coltranian delicate touch of wyatt!!
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sigod
Forum Senior Member
Joined: September 17 2004
Location: London
Status: Offline
Points: 2779
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Posted: January 21 2005 at 12:09 |
oliverstoned wrote:
I don't know why, but in popular music today, the
prevalent drum sound is what i call "a big sound" in a pejorative way.
For example, i've been to a Soft Machine concert two years ago.
I found all the musicians to be good, except the drummer who had a big sound.
Nothing to do with the coltranian delicate touch of wyatt!!
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It is a large sound but not as large as that huge Phil Collins sound that was everywhere in the 80's . I tend to prefer the Stewart Copeland sound. Very tight but with lots of bass to the kick drum.
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I must remind the right honourable gentleman that a monologue is not a decision.
- Clement Atlee, on Winston Churchill
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K00l Prog Guruz
Forum Senior Member
Joined: November 26 2004
Location: United States
Status: Offline
Points: 224
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Posted: January 21 2005 at 12:21 |
I liek Phiol COllins sound better then steve cokeland sound, but I know thats my own opiniopn and everybody has there own opinion. I have my own u have ur own opinion. so we cant disagree because we each have ourr own one. BUt I like Collins better (my opinion).
THis post would make a good essay.
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"The world is in your hands, now use it." Good'ol Phil
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Sweetnighter
Forum Senior Member
Joined: October 24 2004
Location: United States
Status: Offline
Points: 1298
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Posted: January 21 2005 at 13:17 |
K00l Prog Guruz wrote:
I liek Phiol COllins sound better then
steve cokeland sound, but I know thats my own opiniopn and everybody
has there own opinion. I have my own u have ur own opinion. so we cant
disagree because we each have ourr own one. BUt I like Collins better
(my opinion).
THis post would make a good essay. |
that was deep guruz
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I bleed coffee. When I don't drink coffee, my veins run dry, and I shrivel up and die.
"Banco Del Mutuo Soccorso? Is that like the bank of Italian soccer death or something?" -my girlfriend
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Guests
Forum Guest Group
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Posted: January 28 2005 at 15:06 |
Good drummers are hard to to find because most drummers can't play anything not in 4/4 time. And when the song is in 4/4 time, the little ankle-biters just wanna hit the hi-hat and bass drum on every eighth note and the snare on the second and fourth beat of each measure. C'MON. You guys know what I'm talking about: bass-bass-SNARE-bass-bass-bass-SNARE. As Neil Peart put it, "Most drummers don't play drums--they play BEATS." Especially these Christian bands. Talk about a lack of musicianship. Their songs are all corny, but their image is wannabe-punk. Bands like Relient K or Jar's of Clay think they are real cute. I'm all for Christian music, but if these posers tried half as hard to master their respective instruments as they try to please Jesus and the Lord, maybe they would be more popular and earn the respect of the media. GOSH!!!
I've gotten a little off topic havent I?
Well, they don't call this a FORUM for nothin' do they?
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