Threads by David - a lot of good stuff!

richardh wrote: You would have better luck 'herding cats' as the saying goes!

Edited by Psychedelic Paul - July 15 2024 at 05:35

When I make a topic, unless doing it for someone who has asked me to as has happened, I would not expect to be thanked for making it. I am thankful to those who take the time to comment and share their thoughts in my topics (unless complaining or being snarky) and I hope that my sincere gratitude comes across. Also, I hope that I am expressing my interest in the content that people are adding to my topics. I often post in people's topics not because I want to, but as a way of supporting the person who made the topic. And it can be a sort of thanks for that person having taken the time to post in topics of mine.

I know I like to be responded to and acknowledged in topics if I put effort in or ask a question, but I don't respond to people as much a I would like to in my own topics because it can be very time-consuming and I do have social anxiety and do think will this be wanted? Does it have value? Will it make others feel that they must now respond? Is it over-the-top? Is it intrusive? Forum use still can be hard after all these years for me, but I still like to try to forge a deeper sense of connections with people and I still learn from people, like to laugh with members, and appreciate most people members here.

Anyway, making others feel appreciated and good about themselves is a great social skill and tool that I wish I was better at. If one wants to be more appreciated and respected, then it's important to put effort into showing one's appreciation and respect for others, and to take the time to put effort towards their efforts instead of overly focusing on own own topics and accomplishments, I feel. And of course modesty and self-deprecation can help. And just trying to be easy-going and forgiving of others trespasses. I care for this community despite not always getting along well with its members. But, I ramble.

Yes, I too appreciate it when people try to respect the parameters, but I also think that when one makes a topic that that makes one the host and a good host is one who tries to make the people post in it feel welcome and valued.

Sometimes those parameters are not very clear to all, and not easy to follow. So it's a matter of putting lot of effort into the OP sometimes to make it crystal clear exactly what you want and then speaking to people directly (rather than cryptic comments) to explain what one is asking for. One can do it more diplomatically and in a friendlier manner than both you and I always manage.

What I dislike is when you ask for certain things and people clearly say something like, "I could not care less what you want" and just do their own thing. I think if one is trying to make those topics for the benefit of the site and community, and it's not about gratifying oneself, not about your ego, then kindness goes a long way (which includes tolerance, friendliness, recognition and respect). And I think that quoting others and talking directly to them is better than quoting oneself to make points.

If you ever take issue with posts or others, I suggest just trying to communicate that to them. Sometimes topics can be refined over time and I sometimes change the parameters as I realise that others came up with better and more robust ideas. Like with me if you think I'm off base in a topics you could say, "Hey Greg, thanks for posting, but I really want to focus on such-and-such, so maybe you would try these changes." I would respect and appreciate that and do my best. Otherwise I would rather not go to the effort of supporting people's topics at all by responding.

Sometimes the post of yours are not clear to me, such as, to use a recent post from a recent topic of yours, what was the significance of this in your Non-UK top Prog albums from the 1970s topic?

David_D wrote: Anyway, there's still the king of mess, but that's not my cup of tea anymore.

It sounds insulting. If you want respect, treat others with respect. Maybe that is not reference to a PA member, but if it is, talk to the person directly not about them like that. The keep it civil parameters of the forum are important to try to keep up.

Edited by Logan - March 24 2025 at 10:39

^All my interactions with you, David, have been respectful.