The PA Happy Birthday Thread

Early on, a theme called to me. It is one, in fact, that we could use on an almost daily basis, but given that it is 16th March, today seemed as good a day as any to properly celebrate, and find out about, that army of proggers who take the time to register with us, stay for no time at all, and completely disappear into the ether, never to be heard of again. Or so they thought! 

So, PABT presents.....People Saying Nothing In Next To No Time At All. The qualification for this is that you must have visited the forum for less than one hour before completely disappearing.

First up, we have dlgladwin, a wonderfully eccentric loon who joined us on 8 March 2006 for all of one minute, and celebrates his 53rd birthday today. And now, all readers of this thread please prostrate yourself, or at least doff your cap. For Mr Gladwin self identifies as His Grace The Duke of Derby, and lists his occupation as a bogus aristocrat. He likes culture, society,  music, and mushrooms, and I get the impression that he must ingest a fair few of the magic variety in his spare time, bless him. His signature states “born to be hanged”. Well, let me inform you, son; impersonating the English Nobility is a very serious crime, at least worthy once upon a time of either the rope or at least deportation to Australia, dependant on how much m’learned lud had drunk the previous night. Unfortunately for our friend, he has got a minor detail rather wrong. There is an EARL of Derby, and Edward Stanley is presently the 19th incumbent, bless His Lordship Edward Stanley, 19th Earl of Derby - Wikipedia There is no such title as Duke of Derby. A lesson for us all here, methinks. If one is going to take the piss, at least get your titles right!

And what about Monteon, who joined our shockingly unhealthy throng in June 2005 and stayed for a mere hour, before obviously deciding that the prog masses were beyond curing? For Ignatio De Jesús Monteón Batalla is a physician celebrating his 50th special day today in Mexico. I should give him a call, because he is a consultant at the Tabbak Anti-Smoking Clinic, and would no doubt provide me with sterling advice on how to smoke in a far healthier manner than I do now. He will also provide any obese pie munchers amongst you with guidance on how to beat the flab. Google Translate

And what about our friend Lahaine? Our dearly departed chum probably is dearly departed at 83 years of age, but what about this signature? “Sometimes I like fishing, and in some girl finishing”. If you listen very carefully, you can hear the rumblings of the hordes of lovely wimmin rushing over the hills to wrap themselves around our Lothario. By the way, he gave his location as ew, and I can think of no better definition of this than the following link from our very good friends at Da Hood Yoof Dictionary Urban Dictionary: Ew

And how about our motor body repairs worker, Lynda? She celebrates her 55th birthday in Sault Ste. Marie, which is a lovely looking place in Ontario. Sault Ste. Marie, Ontario - Wikipedia Rather usefully for a music site, Lynda listed her interest as music, but rather uselessly for a music site, declined to share anything about said interest with the brethren. She joined in September 2009, took one look at the hairy assemblage for all of three minutes, and decided said throng was not to her taste.

And what do we make of Jewish Jake, excepting to surmise that his name is Jake and he is of the Semitic persuasion? Jake joined us for one minute in October 2007, and his signature, I believe, told us a lot about his impressions of the prog throng. “Insert pretentious comment here”. Well, Jake. There is nothing quite so pretentious as imagining that a pretentious comment such as this makes you any less pretentious than professional proper pretentious folk.

And lastly, on a serious note, I am afraid I must record the first instance on the thread of one of our beloved brethren who has passed away. It is a bit of a shame that Wayne Hovden, who would have been 67 today, had not spent more than three minutes with us in May 2008. He was unemployed when he joined, and listed his interests as music, girls, hunting, fishing, and, erm, girls. Regrettably, this extraordinarily healthy list of pastimes would appear to have taken its toll, and our friend passed away a mere 10 days ago Wayne Hovden Obituary - Death Notice and Service Information Let us hope that he Rests In Peace.

And last, but by no means least, we have a funky man, as pras666 modestly described himself in his signature for all of the one minute he was with us in November 2006. Funky Gibbon (here I make absolutely no excuse for gratuitously seeking any old reason to insert for you one of the 70’s better silly moments https://youtu.be/pXq8rELhUkw ) is 38 today, and judging by his Letsbesadtogetherbook, he really is a funky dude. Ladies, feast your peeps upon this hunk! Dani Prass | Facebook 

Elsewhere, no present collabs to report today.

My friends. It is days such as this which make one long for the nirvana we call retirement in Dear Old Blighty. Pip Pip! 

Yep. As most of you will know, there are a fair few of the throbbing throng we call PA members who need a wee bit of saving. I might add that this is especially important for prog fans. Bear with me here, because this is important. There you are, in your adult dotage, sitting in your reclining chair, glass of whiskey on the side table, pipe full of ready rub in your right hand, listening to the heavenly sound, and ignoring the protests of your grandchildren wondering just what that f**king racket is, of King Crimson. https://youtu.be/mJt0MNSDgdAHeavenly, yes?

Now you may well be thinking that this is the type of afterlife you can look forward to forever after you depart this veil of tears. An eternity of prog, booze, tobacco, and sex. Surely you deserve it? Well, my friends, not if you have been bad boys and girls. Not if you have breached those lockdown regulations. Not if you so much as peeped at one of those naughty websites, thinking that you were safe because the good lady (or man, of course) was out for a few hours.  Because, yes, The Almighty was watching. And you know what? This is what you will be doomed to listen to for all eternity if you are not redeemed. I submit to you your eternal fate. Envy and Eli in what is billed on SoupTube as “the worst rap battle ever” https://youtu.be/8rZwOR9lfIo Yo! 

So, on 5 December 2006, Chargrove came to save you from this fate literally worse than death. Chris Hargrove, for it is He, celebrates his 51st birthday in The Home Of The Brave today. He came to say one thing to you all, and his signature reads thus; “God did not send his son into the world to condemn the world, but that the world through him might be saved”. (John 3:17) John, of course, was The Special One, so Ancient Jerusalem’s equivalent of José Mourinho.

But what of Chris? Well, I am happy to share his post-PA story with you. When he registered to save us all, our Chris was a Content Editor. This was with Thomson Reuters updating tax and accounting publications, which from personal professional experience I can tell you are dryer than a desiccated snails arse. He is now, far more interestingly, a New Account Specialist with Dealer Socket, doing lots of facilitating, interfacing, meeting dealer-acquired requests, and updating channels! By heaven. Will paradise be full of such exciting chaps? I can hardly contain myself with the anticipation! Here is his LinkedArms thingy Chris Hargrove - Hardin-Simmons University - McKinney, Texas, United States | LinkedIn And for those of you really desperate to feast yourselves upon corporate bollocks, here are said Dealer Socket https://www.dealersocket.com/contact-us/

You know what? All of a sudden, an eternity of unsaved location seems pretty attractive, if only they could allow me to carry on Progging! Happy birthday, Sir! Say hello to The Lord and save Mr and Mrs Laz when you get up there!

Elsewhere, we should mention andyread. Andy celebrates his 52nd birthday today, and many of you will know him from Dutch Progressive Rock Page (DPRP), so named because it is based in Holland and is about, erm, prog. Andy is a long-standing contributor to that fine site Dutch Progressive Rock Page - DPRP.net Mind you, when he joined us in September 2015, staying without sharing anything with us, he gave his occupation as “foof trucker”. I for one really hope that this is a typo, because I am not altogether sure that anyone transporting used vulvas across Europe is capable of being saved, even by our friend Chris. Happy birthday, sir!

And last, but by no means least, we wish our SC Nightfly, or Paul Fowler as his lovely Mummy and Daddy named him 60 years ago today. Paul quite clearly will not require a great deal of saving, as he will have the patience of a saint, given that his occupation is that of a driving instructor to da yoof. Cheers! 

So, let us first of all visit the weird and wonderful world of Fatso Forgetso. Now this forum name does lead one to worry a great deal about the health of our friend, Matt Frighetto, celebrating his 44th birthday in the Land of the Convicts today. Fatty obese personages are, of course, more at risk from lurgy mortality, and forgetting to have one’s vaccine could also be argued as carrying lurgy risks, although blood clot risk free.

His signature is as follows; CAN'T YOU TELL BY THE TRACKS LEFT? DUST SETTLES SLOW... What to make of this, then? Well, I shall tell you. This quote is, in fact, lyrics from Pigeon Toe by Fu Manchu from the album Eatin’ Dust. And here it is, for your delectation and delight. https://youtu.be/pObeG5lySVg Wow! Hardcore racket, dudes! Here is their website Fu Manchu and here is a discussion on our sister site, Far Too Hairy Archives, arguing that the band are Stoner, not pucker ‘eadbanging, which just goes to show that this type of utterly pointless argument is not confined to our part of earthdom Encyclopaedia Metallum: The Metal Archives • View topic - Fu Manchu (USA)

Of course, our very good friend Matt would agree with this analysis. When Blubber The Gut registered with the greatest website in drugdom, he listed his interests as STONER, DOOM,PSYCHE,FUZZ, although I really do fail to see how anyone could marry being an officer of the law with the first three stated enjoyable pastimes. Takes all sorts, I suppose.

There is a link to a website, Planet Fuzz - Just another WordPress site, but as this is empty, I assumed that Fatso had Forgotso to put anything on it. Either that, or he was too out of his skull to bother. However, fear not! All is not lost, because I found the actual blogspot where Matt, at least until 2011, fuzzed his opinions about all things stoner planetfuzz.com Here he is discussing the “bad ass bass” of Atolah on their Letsbesadderbook page Atolah | Facebook And, as a Brucie Bonus for you all, here is the gloriously bonkers Dead Leg from said Stoners Atolah https://youtu.be/E4sHd_zV-w0 

Matt does let himself and his stoner creed down somewhat with his Pindrop site entry, showing a disappointingly serious interior design bent Matt Frighetto (mattfrighetto) – Profile | Pinterest This, I believe, is because he is a relation of an Italian interior designer, Pier Luigi Frighetto, so just about as far away from stoner rock as it is possible to get, really.

Never mind. Happy birthday, Matt. Have a bonzer day, mate! Strewth! 

Elsewhere in present day contributors news, we wish a very happy birthday to palinurus, who celebrates his 59th birthday today, and has been a member since March 2007, but only bothering the censors with 90 posts, which amounts to almost criminal neglect of his posting duties!

Thankfully, far more prolific, and a wonderful Prog Reviewer in the PA cesspit, is Matti, who celebrates his 51st birthday today. So, let us shout out Hyvää Syntymäpäivää to our very good friend! Enjoy! 

So, let us consider our very good friend, Lunatic, who really seems to be anything but. She, for it was a her, joined our beloved site in September 2010, and celebrates her 29th birthday today. She stayed for all of six months, and posted only one solitary thing, but quite a post it was, showing maturity well beyond her then 18 years on Planet Earth. As you can see here, http://www.progarchives.com/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=61879&PN=45, Lunatic rather cared for the brethren’s collective health, in that she warned us all that when you have listened to too much prog, The Collective Quack Community have discovered that one can suffer from arrhythmia (unstable heart rhythm). Now, strangely, “our NHS” does not list prog rock as a trigger for said heart fluttering. Arrhythmia - NHSWorryingly, looking at the triggers, a certain Mr Laz enjoys his beer, partakes in the filthy weed, cannot sit still for more than one second, takes lots of exercise when he is able to walk the dog to the pub if allowed, and rather enjoys a cup of coffee prior to beer o’clock. I’m doomed!

The absence of prog from the list of triggers is quite clearly a very concerning example of NHS neglect, and I would implore all reading this thread to contact our esteemed Health Secretary immediately to right this glaring wrong. He can be contacted at matt.loadofoldw**[email protected] 

In addition to this very helpful warning, take a look her signature. “Forget not that the earth delights to feel your bare feet and the winds long to play with your hair”. Now this, in all honesty, is not the usual stuff you expect from someone of that age. A rather beautiful verse. So, what can it be? Well, it is a line from The Prophet by Kahlil Gibran. Have a look see The Prophet Here is Mr Gibran’s Wikipeepee Page, which, I am afraid details his death at the terribly early age of 48, partly from cirrhosis of the liver, which is probably a more common effect of heavy boozing than prog listening, although the two can, of course, be done perfectly well in tandem. Kahlil Gibran - Wikipedia

Happy birthday, Ms Loony! What an absolute shame you didn’t stay with us, because I have the feeling you would have added quite a lot to the site.

We will also consider the signature of Juan20, who is 57 today, and joined us in April 2009 for all of eight minutes. Old Juan is an engineer, but his signature read Nathing. Looking at the definition of this word on that absolute go to site for Words Of Da Hood, we have Urban Dictionary: nathing Actually, it strikes me that lying in a pit with lots of other people, chilling, and tickling is probably more likely to give one heart palpitations than any Mike Oldfield session, but there you go.

And what about demradulescu, who left absolutely nothing about himself when he registered with the beloved brethren on Valentines Day 2008 for all of seven minutes, and celebrates his 56th birthday today? We do not have a Scooby-Doo who this particular person was, but his forum name is, in fact, quite cultural. Here is the WikiDoo page for Dem Rādulescu, a rather famous lovey in that cauldron of culture, Romania https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dem_R%C4%83dulescu

Elsewhere, Theo Verstrae celebrates his 63rd birthday in The Neutral Zone today. Our Romulan friend joined the site in April 2007, and still visits us to this day, without, sadly, bothering us with his thoughts once. C’mon Theo. Say something, anything!