How to deal with difficult members on here |
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AFlowerKingCrimson
Forum Senior Member Joined: October 02 2016 Location: Philly burbs Status: Offline Points: 18278 |
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Posted: December 06 2020 at 10:45 |
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What I would like to know is if someone is being less than polite or respectful on here what is the best way to deal with it? I don't like the idea of these threads derailing and turning into personal attacks but at the same time it might not be necessary to just contact the moderators everytime someone is disrespectful. I guess the easy answer would be to just ignore them but then that could sort of be seen as giving them a free pass. Any ideas that might be helpful are appreciated.
Edited by AFlowerKingCrimson - December 06 2020 at 10:57 |
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rushfan4
Special Collaborator Honorary Collaborator Joined: May 22 2007 Location: Michigan, U.S. Status: Offline Points: 66264 |
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Under Post Options select "Report Post" and let an administrator take care of it.
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AFlowerKingCrimson
Forum Senior Member Joined: October 02 2016 Location: Philly burbs Status: Offline Points: 18278 |
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That seems like a last resort to me where I would have to explain why I was reporting the person and it would probably have to be something pretty extreme to do that. I was looking for an alternative to this.
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rushfan4
Special Collaborator Honorary Collaborator Joined: May 22 2007 Location: Michigan, U.S. Status: Offline Points: 66264 |
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There's nothing extreme about it. That is what the function is for. Otherwise, either ignore them. Or match their a****le-ness and risk getting yourself banned.
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AFlowerKingCrimson
Forum Senior Member Joined: October 02 2016 Location: Philly burbs Status: Offline Points: 18278 |
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Ha ha. Well, it's pretty difficult to get banned on here. You have to spam to have that happen it seems. Let me ask you this then since you are the only one responding here so far. How do you deal with inappproprate remarks? Do you shrug it off, insult them back, just ignore it or report them? I know it might depend on the situation but on average how do you typically deal with it? Just wondering. Also, if you follow the posts on here and see the latest postings from myself then it should be apparent what post caused me to write this.
Edited by AFlowerKingCrimson - December 06 2020 at 11:45 |
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rushfan4
Special Collaborator Honorary Collaborator Joined: May 22 2007 Location: Michigan, U.S. Status: Offline Points: 66264 |
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It depends on my mood. I generally ignore, but if I am in the right/wrong mood I will respond with an equally snarky comment. But I have no problem reporting posts. When I was a Site Monitor in my previous PA life that was one of my responsibilities.
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AFlowerKingCrimson
Forum Senior Member Joined: October 02 2016 Location: Philly burbs Status: Offline Points: 18278 |
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Previous life as in on here under a different user name?
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Psychedelic Paul
Forum Senior Member Joined: September 16 2019 Location: Nottingham, U.K Status: Offline Points: 40222 |
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I was a forum monitor and site administrator too in a previous life when I used to run a music site (You Tube Episodes & Music), but I never felt the need to suspend anyone's account in the space of two and a half years, so I guess I must be easy-going by nature, and I've never come across any difficult members here either.
Edited by Psychedelic Paul - December 06 2020 at 12:20 |
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AFlowerKingCrimson
Forum Senior Member Joined: October 02 2016 Location: Philly burbs Status: Offline Points: 18278 |
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It's rare but it does happen. Every once in a while I come across someone with a bug up their butt. It's often the same person.
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rushfan4
Special Collaborator Honorary Collaborator Joined: May 22 2007 Location: Michigan, U.S. Status: Offline Points: 66264 |
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Atavachron
Special Collaborator Honorary Collaborator Joined: September 30 2006 Location: Pearland Status: Offline Points: 65266 |
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Walk softly and carry a big stick. Or a sock filled with horse manure. |
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"Too often we enjoy the comfort of opinion without the discomfort of thought." -- John F. Kennedy
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Catcher10
Forum Senior Member VIP Member Joined: December 23 2009 Location: Emerald City Status: Offline Points: 17847 |
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I agree with Scott........best procedure, plus the Admins make like US$250K a year so they need to work sometimes....sheesh |
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AFlowerKingCrimson
Forum Senior Member Joined: October 02 2016 Location: Philly burbs Status: Offline Points: 18278 |
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If they make that much money I'm sure it's not from being an admin on here.
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Logan
Forum & Site Admin Group Site Admin Joined: April 05 2006 Location: Vancouver, BC Status: Offline Points: 35886 |
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It depends on you and the particular situation.
We rarely "deal with" members unless we have orders for organs. Organ harvesting can be lucrative, but there isn't a huge demand for Hammonds these days, which more Proggers seems to acquire (actually, we are not out to get the member's members or internal organs and actually not many Proggers have Hammonds. Seriously, of course this is voluntary and we get no remuneration). If not formally reporting for abuse -- if one is then one should specifically mention the infraction per the site rules and guidelines and offer links -- I often like to PM the person to share my concerns. When I have responded in the heat of the moment by PM or in the forum without putting much thought into it, then often I have regretted it. I think calling someone out who is clearly deliberately being obnoxious or abusive is fine, just try not to break the rules when doing it, and it is good to wait until one is calm and collected. Sometimes ignoring works best. Sometimes one may be misreading another or missing a joke and a more charitable outlook, and inquisitive approach, is warranted. I like as much as possible that the forum can moderate itself, and as much as possible to deal with things oneself, but in a reasonable and thoughtful manner rather than taking the law into one's own hands and meting out justice Reprisalizer style. By the way, I'm rarely around these days. I can't think straight at all (serious cognitive impairment), so if this is not at all helpful, blame it on my brain. |
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ExittheLemming
Forum Senior Member Joined: October 19 2007 Location: Penal Colony Status: Offline Points: 11415 |
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Disclaimer: I should have been banned countless times and was once (right at the outset when I was deemed to have been disrespectful to an Admin - TonyR. I have Finnforest (Jim) to thank for being reinstated so I owe him big time or: he has a lot to answer for ) He hasn't been around for a while so I hope he's safe and well. I was also an admin for about 2 years after that. That said, it strikes me that the place has become so moribund over the last 12 months or so that without the trolls, spammers, snowflakes, sock puppets, bewildered hippies and terminally needy there wouldn't be anyone left to actually ban. It stands to reason that behaviour inimical to the aims of the site if left unchallenged is unlikely to change so can run the risk of becoming normalised over time. I also think that a polemical writing style like erm...mine, is conflated with trolling but this is just symptomatic of a lazy association of ideas so pervasive with netiquette. How to deal with difficult people? Confrontation without aggression is the key and a very,very hard art to master. Kudos to the moderators and admins everywhere who try to strike this elusive balance.
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Catcher10
Forum Senior Member VIP Member Joined: December 23 2009 Location: Emerald City Status: Offline Points: 17847 |
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Just checking, by "moribund" you mean dead right??
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SteveG
Forum Senior Member Joined: April 11 2014 Location: Kyiv In Spirit Status: Offline Points: 20609 |
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^ Not deceased, but close. Dying.
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Catcher10
Forum Senior Member VIP Member Joined: December 23 2009 Location: Emerald City Status: Offline Points: 17847 |
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progaardvark
Collaborator Crossover/Symphonic/RPI Teams Joined: June 14 2007 Location: Sea of Peas Status: Offline Points: 51065 |
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If we could upgrade the forum to upload odors, I would send one of my farts to the difficult member and then I would run into another topic somewhere else in the forum and hide behind a couch or something and giggle. Behaving like an adult isn't one of my best qualities.
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Shadowyzard
Forum Senior Member Joined: February 24 2020 Location: Davutlar Status: Offline Points: 4506 |
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