The Musical Moron - rise of the Non Musician

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   I don't know if other people here have had this problem - "working with idiots who think they're musicians". 

For nearly ten years, I worked opposite someone I can only describe as a functional moron. He'd had a guitar since the early  60's - changed his strings once (after they'd been on 25 years) - had to get a shop to do it. He could jingle - jangle a few chords, so this naturally made him a musician. 

As such, he used to delight in telling everyone else he worked with that "he and his mate were doing some "Jamaican ska" (q.v) version of Money Can't Buy Me Love".... he rattled on for hours and hours and hours, "impressing" everyone, until I asked him what key he was in. "I don't know" he said. 

The man was frankly an imbecile. Every day, he'd be talking about how all electric guitars sounded the same, barre chords (and bending strings) were unnecessary, a 5 watt tranny practice amp was at least as good as a valve amp... basically, he wasn't interested in learning, but appearing to be able to play to impress people with zero knowledge at all. He'd try and strike up a conversation about music, steer it around to the little he knew and sit there with Wikipedia in front of him, reading from the page to try and make it look like he knew what he was talking about. 

After several years of listening to him talking about "wah wah kick boxes" and how he should record something in 7/4 (he tried doing a version of Black Magic Woman once, it took him seven months) I turned around and said, "Do you remember in the first few weeks of meeting you, I said you should perhaps try learning the blues scale ? "

"Oh yes, but I don't want to learn blues. "
"Yes, well, you were going on about having a jam in a minor pentatonic scale last week."
"Yes...."
"That's the blues scale.So. You've basically ignored me and wasted seven years. "

And so on and so on and so forth. 

I eventually said, look. You've had a guitar for nearly 50 years, lying under a bed, gathering dust. I can guarantee I can show you something in two minutes which will take you further than occasionally playing scales up and down ad infinitum. But. You won't listen, you won't do it. So there's no point. 

I spent ten years wanting to bang his head on the desk and then strangle him. You'd go in every day and he'd be going on about "how he'd had a question and answer session with his mate" or they'd "been playing through a new red kick box".

Anyone else come across people like this ? Because, at the end of the day, most guitar janglers and tab followers have no idea of how to actually play an instrument. They fail to learn because they are all about ego... and fail to listen. If you actually want to learn, you'll learn. If you want to pose about, you'll do that as well. I'd rather learn. 

Sitting opposite a musician for ten years and learning nothing..... says it all. 

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