Shred Room LXXXI: Subject Subject to Change

Each and every one of us has a private self and a public self. This is why those who are depressed might not always seem like it, or why the quiet ones can be the loudest party-ers. Throughout everyone's life, they have made decisions to, in certain aspects, lie about their lives to strangers. With transgender people, it's just like this except that the lie is based on gender (and usually several other personality traits).

And finally, gender and its roles/interests/hobbies are defined by society and not necessarily ourselves. Does liking pink and wearing dresses make me a girl? Can a male be completely comfortable in their gender wearing make-up and singing along to [female singer]? I personally think that the answer is yes. Male and female people's differences are, in my opinion, largely a result of society trying to categorize and split things into easy-to-understand groups. It's helpful on the surface, but it can lead to misclassification and dysphoria for individuals. So am I a girl just because I like pink and flowers? That was a question I struggled with for a very long time. In the end, I decided that I wanted to be seen as a female and felt that my personality would be more comfortable in a female body than a male one. I'm not sure you can ever be certain, but if nothing else, I'm confident.

Most of you that know me elsewhere know I'm basically a card-carrying ally and flag-waving member of PFLAG, so if you ever want to discuss LGTBQOA issues with me, I'm more than happy to be your ally (and your Ali, hee).

Although I'm straight, my love for the gay community has been since birth. I grew up with many uncles, most of  whom lost their lives in the '90s  I have a special heart for gender and sexuality issues, and although I can never know what your struggle is like, I'm a good listener and always here for you.

I know this is still in its inchoate stage for you, Luna, but f you can make it through life with one your victory being that you were always steadfast to your innate, true self -- that's a life well lived.  Thank you for speaking your truth with us.