Off At Tangents: Tip Bin Shuffle

Bad calendar ideas #42: Cheese Covered Blisters

There once was a man--well, there still is a man, as he didn't die in this story that you know of, and didn't get a sex change but anyhow--who was perfectly ordinary and did pretty ordinary things, honestly. He literally never did anything interesting besides, like, typical interesting things that everyone does, like go camping. Seriously--he'd be more interesting if he never did things like that, because what kind of a person doesn't go on holidays? If he didn't you would assume he was a ticking time-bomb waiting to snap, or a mind-controlled clone created by  the government or something crazy like that. Which would, of course, be interesting. Which he wasn't. Then one day he did nothing interesting just like every other day. The end.

School bean serve. Tray topped off for next. Next! 

You've got black lipstick on your dog-collar: Hippy plus Hair-Spray = Goth

HemispheresOfXanadu wrote: There once was a man--well, there still is a man, as he didn't die in this story that you know of, and didn't get a sex change but anyhow--who was perfectly ordinary and did pretty ordinary things, honestly. He literally never did anything interesting besides, like, typical interesting things that everyone does, like go camping. Seriously--he'd be more interesting if he never did things like that, because what kind of a person doesn't go on holidays? If he didn't you would assume he was a ticking time-bomb waiting to snap, or a mind-controlled clone created by  the government or something crazy like that. Which would, of course, be interesting. Which he wasn't. Then one day he did nothing interesting just like every other day. The end.

If only every novel was as succinct.

Evil doesn't pay until year-end.

Luckily Dan had only driven a few blocks before he realized he'd forgotten his penis.

Atavachron wrote: HemispheresOfXanadu wrote: There once was a man--well, there still is a man, as he didn't die in this story that you know of, and didn't get a sex change but anyhow--who was perfectly ordinary and did pretty ordinary things, honestly. He literally never did anything interesting besides, like, typical interesting things that everyone does, like go camping. Seriously--he'd be more interesting if he never did things like that, because what kind of a person doesn't go on holidays? If he didn't you would assume he was a ticking time-bomb waiting to snap, or a mind-controlled clone created by  the government or something crazy like that. Which would, of course, be interesting. Which he wasn't. Then one day he did nothing interesting just like every other day. The end. If only every novel was as succinct.

Sadly, my publisher was less impressed. He sent a strongly-worded e-mail my way roughly nine pages long. The gist of it, from what I understand, is I went over his word limit and the publishing company is going to have to pay an extra 0.8% to the cost per issue of my work. Furthermore, there will be a decrease in the number of first prints from 100 to 99 copies.

HemispheresOfXanadu wrote: Atavachron wrote: HemispheresOfXanadu wrote: There once was a man--well, there still is a man, as he didn't die in this story that you know of, and didn't get a sex change but anyhow--who was perfectly ordinary and did pretty ordinary things, honestly. He literally never did anything interesting besides, like, typical interesting things that everyone does, like go camping. Seriously--he'd be more interesting if he never did things like that, because what kind of a person doesn't go on holidays? If he didn't you would assume he was a ticking time-bomb waiting to snap, or a mind-controlled clone created by  the government or something crazy like that. Which would, of course, be interesting. Which he wasn't. Then one day he did nothing interesting just like every other day. The end. If only every novel was as succinct. Sadly, my publisher was less impressed. He sent a strongly-worded e-mail my way roughly nine pages long. The gist of it, from what I understand, is I went over his word limit and the publishing company is going to have to pay an extra 0.8% to the cost per issue of my work. Furthermore, there will be a decrease in the number of first prints from 100 to 99 copies.

Yes well there's still hope, what if you did some editing;  for instance, just say  "Camping is interesting but he wasn't."   And just leave it at that.

They shuffled, they dealt, they accepted the terms to a new contract for state of the art radiators.