Shred XLIX: And then the North Koreans attacked

Great, first I got really really depressed last night and now my girlfriends not talking to me cuz she thought I called her fat. Good times.

Failcore wrote: Great, first I got really really depressed last night and now my girlfriends not talking to me cuz she thought I called her fat. Good times.

Did she ask you about her jeans making her butt look fat?

Failcore wrote: rushfan4 wrote: Failcore wrote: Great, first I got really really depressed last night and now my girlfriends not talking to me cuz she thought I called her fat. Good times. Did she ask you about her jeans making her butt look fat? No. She has self-esteem issues, particularly about her waist line. I'm keep telling her that she looks fine and that size 4 isn't fat. But I started doing a new stomach exercise, so I told her about how easy and effective it was and she threw a tantrum. It doesn't matter how many times I tell her she's fine the way she is, if I say anything that can be possible construed as otherwise, she goes into a hissy fit and then refuses to talk to me for a few days.

Usually when my wife and I are getting dressed to go out, putting on nice clothes, she will get noticeably frustrated and upset because she thinks she looks fat.  Then she starts talking about how she needs to lose weight, etc.  I do my best to stay completely silent in these instances, because practically nothing I say will be safe.  If I deny that she's fat, she'll blame me for "enabling" her, and of course you know what happens if I even suggest that she's right.  But even being silent, then I'm blamed for not caring or not listening.  So I've decided in the future I'll just accidentally fall down the stairs and knock myself unconscious if it happens again.

HolyMoly wrote: Failcore wrote: rushfan4 wrote: Failcore wrote: Great, first I got really really depressed last night and now my girlfriends not talking to me cuz she thought I called her fat. Good times. Did she ask you about her jeans making her butt look fat? No. She has self-esteem issues, particularly about her waist line. I'm keep telling her that she looks fine and that size 4 isn't fat. But I started doing a new stomach exercise, so I told her about how easy and effective it was and she threw a tantrum. It doesn't matter how many times I tell her she's fine the way she is, if I say anything that can be possible construed as otherwise, she goes into a hissy fit and then refuses to talk to me for a few days. Usually when my wife and I are getting dressed to go out, putting on nice clothes, she will get noticeably frustrated and upset because she thinks she looks fat.  Then she starts talking about how she needs to lose weight, etc.  I do my best to stay completely silent in these instances, because practically nothing I say will be safe.  If I deny that she's fat, she'll blame me for "enabling" her, and of course you know what happens if I even suggest that she's right.  But even being silent, then I'm blamed for not caring or not listening.  So I've decided in the future I'll just accidentally fall down the stairs and knock myself unconscious if it happens again.

It's asinine. I told her up front I don't like to play those little relationshippy games and she agreed for the most part, but this has been one bone of contention that's repeatedly reared its head. I have chronic health issues and depression, I dont need this crap too.

This piece of advice might fall into the "two wrongs don't make a right" category, but maybe giving her the silent treatment yourself might send the message that this kind of insecure behavior really bugs you.

Yeah, I see what you mean. 

A Person wrote: Maybe explaining that it's not fair to blame you for her own insecurities would help.

Nope.  There is no correct answer because this is a lose-lose situation for every man in the history of all relationships.

A Person wrote: rushfan4 wrote: A Person wrote: Maybe explaining that it's not fair to blame you for her own insecurities would help. Nope.  There is no correct answer because this is a lose-lose situation for every man in the history of all relationships. I was mostly being sarcastic. :P

Actually, usually that's how most of our fights end. I point out she's being ridiculous, she agrees and then starts hating on herself. Then I feel like a troll and try to make her feel better about herself and we both go to bed hating ourselves.

When John Lennon sang "All You Need is Love", he was really referring to learning to love yourself.  When I figured that out, suddenly the song took on a whole new dimension.

I thought that it was Snoop Dog who sang about Schnitzel....or is that Schnizzle?