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Alitare View Drop Down
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: May 25 2011 at 20:44
I like doing social critique, too, but it's hard for me because I never think one aspect is worse than another. How can I attack capitalism if I don't give a damn? Sheesh, being apathetic makes it hard to be artistic, but I do got one I wrote about two years back. 


Love of the State - A Stomach full:

My plate, adorned with hugs and bare
Paper mache amenity
Love letters wink, showing they care
Investing in servility

Post-scripted "darling Dee-Ess-Ess"
Each deft with grin and firm handshake
A warm regard to mop the mess
Then rented out for Reagan's sake

Skid Row'd been painted lavish pink
Amended as gala affair
Those sods were given hope to drink
They drowned beneath lake St. Time's Square

Inside a cardboard silhouette
Starvation runs gamut aplomb
Street urchins pave by cold regret
Police enforce the friendship bomb

Synchronized assorted flags that
Block sight from my dust windowsill
Have fed old Sam until he's fat
With trails that tread through Hooverville

My brother, he adored the tax
No matter while in ail or rut
Who's sustenance was faith and wax
Had but one crumb inside his gut

As Lincoln's tomb worships the bell
And love's polluted King D.C.
We've hugged and kissed our way to hell
Land of the brave, home of the free
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: May 25 2011 at 21:07
Originally posted by Alitare Alitare wrote:

I like doing social critique, too, but it's hard for me because I never think one aspect is worse than another. How can I attack capitalism if I don't give a damn? Sheesh, being apathetic makes it hard to be artistic, but I do got one I wrote about two years back. 


Love of the State - A Stomach full:

My plate, adorned with hugs and bare
Paper mache amenity
Love letters wink, showing they care
Investing in servility

Post-scripted "darling Dee-Ess-Ess"
Each deft with grin and firm handshake
A warm regard to mop the mess
Then rented out for Reagan's sake...
 
Why you bitter, bitter man. You'd fit well with all the zealots over on the libertarian thread. LOL
 
Well, how about corporate America? That's always been a good target:
 

The Tale of the Accounting Sheep

© 1997 by GJM

 

Time clock punching, business lunching,

Number crunching budgetary lies.

You've had your fill of rumor mills

Like poison quills around the office fly.

 

What has become of this brilliant career?

What were the strange paths that led me here?

Four-year degrees and divorce decrees,

Over and over again...

 

But you shone like a diamond

In your rough and tumble way,

And the sun never set on summer days.

Back then, you never went to sleep

Because of fires burning deep,

Now insomnia has got you counting sheep --

Accounting sheep!

 

Parking spaces, basket cases,

Smiling faces quick to turn the knife.

Employee grumbles, corporate bungles,

Fiber-optic jungles rule your life.

 

When was the point that I lost my edge?

When did I find all my bets were hedged?

Surrender your will just to pay your bills,

Over and over again...

 

But you shone like a diamond

In your rough and tumble way,

You and the flock went separate ways.

And the world was your oyster,

Wrapped a' cloistered in its shell,

But too soon, it all goes straight to hell --

Straight to hell!

...a vigorous circular motion hitherto unknown to the people of this area, but destined
to take the place of the mud shark in your mythology...
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: May 25 2011 at 21:23
I don't think I have any other direct America attacks. I know I wrote a few more, but I need to hunt them down. I do have a more vague attack on America, but it's attacking other things, too.

Situation Tragedy:

Or-pha-nage fenc-es line the street
The doors are cold to all they greet
And mom-my's gone in grim defeat
To recite her passion play
While all the kid-dies spell re-pent
They read the new-est test-a-ment
It's in the mail, dis-guised as rent
And there's no one who could pay


It's all just like what Jesus said
That which is small is surely dead
Unless you drown this whine with bred
So the Devil takes his leave
The hooker's gone in slumber, splayed
This prostitute leads the parade
Maternally, she's made the grade
But the widows, still they grieve


For their lost son, who's off to war
For-sa-ken brood-mare mush-room spore
And yet they're rot-ten to the core
To let children play with forks
In-stead of draw-ing hop-scotch squares
They're snip-ing sand-dune grizz-ly bears
Sell-ing their hate, but buy-ing prayers
When a prayer just ne-ver works


If not for false mor-al-i-ty
The daugh-ter dock would drift to sea
And all the world would simp-ly be
A chill-ing-ly lone-some cage
When po-lice wives have got their fill
the piper, pied, comes with his bill
The legend legion drops the quill
To scribble out each blank page
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: May 25 2011 at 21:36
Originally posted by Alitare Alitare wrote:

I don't think I have any other direct America attacks. I know I wrote a few more, but I need to hunt them down. I do have a more vague attack on America, but it's attacking other things, too.

Situation Tragedy:

Or-pha-nage fenc-es line the street
The doors are cold to all they greet
And mom-my's gone in grim defeat
To recite her passion play
While all the kid-dies spell re-pent
They read the new-est test-a-ment
It's in the mail, dis-guised as rent
And there's no one who could pay...
 
I think I like this one the best so far. All you need is a chorus and it would be a very Dylanesque song, circa Bringing it all Back Home (1965).
 
Hmmm...here's another generic attack on various societal issues (with a bit of animosity against the Church thrown in):
 
Heresy © 1997 by GJM

 

I. In the Youth Camp...

 

Say your Hail Mary’s, son, now keep the faith

Heaven’s holy treasure’s certainly worth the wait

Go to church on Sundays, be an altar boy

Keep your dick in your pants, son, it’s not a toy

And when you’re feeling empty

Cos’ religion wouldn’t do

The guilt will slowly crush you

With the mind games they put you through –

Boy

 

We’ll push you off to school, son, now don’t be slow

Put Wonder Bread in your lunchbox to induce your growth

You’ll drift your way through passing-grade expedience

Learn civic pride through force-fed obedience

And when they’ve fully tested your regurgitated mind

Call you ‘rebellious underachiever’ if you don’t follow them blind –

Boy

 

II. Prime Time...

 

Forget you ethics, son

They won’t get you far

They’re extra baggage on the way

Go trade your ideals for a sportier car –

There’s money to be made here

There’s girls to be laid here

Don’t stop to think

For you will never get a second chance

 

Marry for money

As a matter of course

It’s all part of the game

Falling in love

Will lead right to divorce

And then when the babies come

Pay the ‘Friend of the Court’ some

Back to square one

With a quick kick to your sorry ass

 

III. Autumn Reverie...

 

Minutes steal the hours

Hours become the days

Days creep into lifetimes

And you’ve watched them

Drift away

 

How many people

Have drifted through your life

Ones that you’ve admired

Ones you wished to spite

How many turned away

Friends that were so tight

Memories return them

In the stillness of the night

 

IV. Revelation...

 

We’ll stick you in a nursing home when you get old

Neglect and disrespect you, so do what you’re told

We’ll pump you full of IVs and prescription pills

Magnify your worries so as not to cure your ills

And when you’re breathing heavy

And the vultures stand in line

Recall the heresy is there’s not yours

But you’ve just ran out of time –

Boy



Edited by The Dark Elf - May 25 2011 at 21:41
...a vigorous circular motion hitherto unknown to the people of this area, but destined
to take the place of the mud shark in your mythology...
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: May 25 2011 at 21:50
Nice, I especially liked the cooling minimalism of Autumn Reverie. 
The only other poem I've written lately of any note would be my Dune/Frank Herbert inspired social thoughts - not so much an attack as a rumination on the nature of humanity. What originally inspired me to write this? Wikipedia's page on Alice in Chain's Jar of flies. :P

Two Jars:
Jar 1:  The Dream

Prices slashed at market square
The whole damn world could sing along
Or sit and idly stare
Then ponder of the outside street
A-swarm with throngs of stamping feet
And not a soul who's standing there
Will tell you that you're wrong

No more bombs that flash and crack
Your brother has both arms and legs
No anxiety attacks
A Christmas bonus twice a year
There is no loss there is no fear
The skies are never fully black
And no one needs to beg

Homelessness was then a dream
We gave them all three squares and all
The cookies to the cream
And children, oh they never cried
The politicians never lied
Come winter unto fall

Under olive branches boomed,
Not guns or fireballs of hell
But children who have bloomed
They fill'd the jar with angel smile
And left the world to love a-while
Then came, we found, the world was doomed
No room inside the well

Jar 2: The Nightmare

Dragging fathers, cold and blue
They wore the crowning kingdom sleeve
But soon enough were through
Through landmines; both live and unreal
The sons and daughters heard the peal
Of cannonades by tank gun rue
Yet weren't allowed to grieve

Back in town, the windows broke
They hide the holes with painted grins
And weeping turned to joke
The dogs are even better fed
And mom's got nightmares in her head
No clean water in which to soak
No food or love or friends

Rusted lamp-posts by the road
Are decorated with the blood
Of infants born too slow
And who could ask for more than this?
This land of broken sister piss?
To see your baby boy then grow
Inside a house of mud?

But god be praised for his care
We're here to breathe another night
If even its unfair
We will survive for years to come
And march to starving counter drum
With broken door and matted hair
We'll all turn out alright.

Two Jars:
Cried the boy with glasses, red
The flies inside the first test jar
Are overfed and dead
While empty is the stomach, true
Of little fly jar number two
Another year has come, he said
And see, still here they are
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: May 25 2011 at 22:09
Originally posted by Alitare Alitare wrote:

Nice, I especially liked the cooling minimalism of Autumn Reverie. 
The only other poem I've written lately of any note would be my Dune/Frank Herbert inspired social thoughts - not so much an attack as a rumination on the nature of humanity. What originally inspired me to write this? Wikipedia's page on Alice in Chain's Jar of flies. :P

Two Jars:
Jar 1:  The Dream

Prices slashed at market square
The whole damn world could sing along
Or sit and idly stare
Then ponder of the outside street
A-swarm with throngs of stamping feet
And not a soul who's standing there
Will tell you that you're wrong

No more bombs that flash and crack
Your brother has both arms and legs
No anxiety attacks
A Christmas bonus twice a year
There is no loss there is no fear
The skies are never fully black
And no one needs to beg....
 
You could make an excellent song out of that. I was actually humming a tune (actually, more of a Roger Waters hiss). Nice rhyme scheme. Although I fail to see what it has to do with Dune. Unless you add a line saying "the art of kanly is still alive", or "Tell me of your home world, Usul. Wink 
 
Here's an older one I found with a bit of allegory. I think I was in my Waterboys/Pogues stage at the time.
 
Old Wive’s Tale
© 1988 by GJM

 

There’s nothing like the sound of a boy who’s playing the blues

He’s got a yearning deep inside he can’t refuse

He’s go a warped fascination as a way of paying his dues

But when he gets to that place he’ll know

There’s no where he can go

And the walls crowd in

Like every time they did before

 

But tomorrow’s so much better

With the night sky burning red

And stars are made for wishing

But it’s better left unsaid

Like the old wive’s tales

That sent you off to bed

 

There was nothing I could do that would make her change here mind

She wasn’t sure what she lost or what she hoped to find

And when it was through I found out she was blind

It’s been years since her release

but she still seems Ill-at-ease

She sought perfection

But it hasn’t bought her peace

 

And fairy tales of virgins

Dressed in bridal white

Who put wedding cake underneath

Their pillows every night

Like the old wives’ tales

That you mother swore were right

 

Various and sundry people

Who like playing with your head

Prey upon your fears like monsters

Underneath the bed

 

I sat in the nude in the dark playing guitar

Competing with the hum of passing cars

Reflecting on the way my life has led thus far

I’ve tried to learn to live with myself

Sometimes I seem like someone else

Who made a bargain with heaven

To reduce his time in hell

 

Start saving all you pennies

Rise at the crack of dawn

Work your f**king life a way

Until your strength is gone

Like some old wives’ tale

That’s been finally proven wrong

Like some old wives' tale

Whose usefulness is gone

Like some old wives’ tale

That just keeps you hanging on

...a vigorous circular motion hitherto unknown to the people of this area, but destined
to take the place of the mud shark in your mythology...
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: May 25 2011 at 22:15
It's funny you should mention Roger Waters. That poem's flow was based around the Gunner's Dream from the Final Cut. What it had to do with Dune was how, when backed into a corner and put under the harshest of stresses, humankind seems to fight back with the most desperation to survive. The harder life is for us, the better we become at surviving, in general. 
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: May 25 2011 at 22:20
Originally posted by Alitare Alitare wrote:

It's funny you should mention Roger Waters. That poem's flow was based around the Gunner's Dream from the Final Cut... 
 
A lot of it has do with with rhyme scheme and word patterns. The poem seemed to have Water's flow. Just like your poem entitled "Situation Tragedy" has a rhyme scheme similar to Bob Dylan's "It's Alright, Ma (I'm Only Bleeding)".
...a vigorous circular motion hitherto unknown to the people of this area, but destined
to take the place of the mud shark in your mythology...
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: May 25 2011 at 22:27
Originally posted by The Dark Elf The Dark Elf wrote:

Originally posted by Alitare Alitare wrote:

It's funny you should mention Roger Waters. That poem's flow was based around the Gunner's Dream from the Final Cut... 
 
A lot of it has do with with rhyme scheme and word patterns. The poem seemed to have Water's flow. Just like your poem entitled "Situation Tragedy" has a rhyme scheme similar to Bob Dylan's "It's Alright, Ma (I'm Only Bleeding)".

Interesting. Dammit, I mean to delve into the guy's career, I really do. I'm working my way backward, starting with Carole King, Joni Mitchell, and Joan Baez, really getting into the singer/songwriter vibe, then I plan on it.

Have you read Alan Moore's V for Vendetta? There's sheet music and lyrics for a song he composed at the beginning of the second act called 'Vicious Cabaret'. It happens to be my favorite poem of all time, when taken without the music. (second being the Raven, third being The Walrus and the Carpenter, fourth being something I forgot). But anyway, that's where I got the main inspiration for 'Situation Tragedy', which is actually a line in the song/poem.
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: May 25 2011 at 22:39
Originally posted by Alitare Alitare wrote:

Interesting. Dammit, I mean to delve into the guy's career, I really do. I'm working my way backward, starting with Carole King, Joni Mitchell, and Joan Baez, really getting into the singer/songwriter vibe, then I plan on it.

Have you read Alan Moore's V for Vendetta? There's sheet music and lyrics for a song he composed at the beginning of the second act called 'Vicious Cabaret'. It happens to be my favorite poem of all time, when taken without the music. (second being the Raven, third being The Walrus and the Carpenter, fourth being something I forgot). But anyway, that's where I got the main inspiration for 'Situation Tragedy', which is actually a line in the song/poem.
Haven't read V, but I enjoyed the movie (not the same thing, I know, but I have too many other things too read).
 
Cat Stevens and early James Taylor are worthwhile also. I've never been too hot on Joan Baez, she's a better interpreter than a songwriter. Joni Mitchell is a fabulous lyricist/composer and Carole King blew her wad all on one album.
...a vigorous circular motion hitherto unknown to the people of this area, but destined
to take the place of the mud shark in your mythology...
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: May 26 2011 at 05:03
This is actually not a poem, but a lyric for a song. It's a critique on capitalism, technology, science, materialism, war, religion, evolution, western medicine, pornography, abortion, suicide, domestic animals, small children, alcohol, freedom of speech, feminism, deconstruction, conservatism, racism and love.



I Beg to Differ (But I Can't Be Arsed to Kneel)

I

Would you believe me
if I told you
I just woke up
and I feel like vomiting,
defecating and eating
all at the same time?

This,
I believe,
because true,
is also a parable.

Like the fox,
who, unlike a hedgehog,
knows not one big thing,
but various small ones,
I do not know whether I ate too much or too little last night
or whether or not the quality of the objects I consumed
was appropriate for the purpose of nourishment
but I do know that if I am to locate myself in the small record shop nearby
where there is a sale
and obtain an Iggy Pop album for roughly five (5) euros,
I must brush my hair and get up and remove some of the torn leather from inside my right shoe
so that it wouldn't further damage the bottom of my foot
like it did yesterday
when I assumed a careless attitude towards it.



II

(instrumental)



III

Stop poking at my mail slot,
you f**king c**t.

At times like these
I too
deserve my solitude.
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: June 12 2011 at 16:50
^ Beauty, Vomps.
 
Flashes of cryptic lightning,
To Melanie always seem so frightening,
So she lays in my bed,
Right above my head,
She sings and laughs and sleeps,
But she's always in too deep...
As I start to play with her hair,
I realize that she's not there...
 
And the start of a new one:
 
Nightime whispers,
And my coherence fades,
Nostalgia holds me,
Behind the thickened shades,


Edited by The Truth - June 12 2011 at 16:51
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: July 18 2011 at 14:15
Sorry for the new poetry thread, I guess I'm just a failure at forum searching. My thread did have a better title though...

Something I wrote down the other day:

Hard sell
Buy in
End up
face down
trading paper for things
staring at my eyes
living in a screen
Stop, start, stop
Look behind you
Don't turn your head
Flip a switch and position your antenna
and listen when I say
Tuning in to the wave that found me here
had it's advantages
but now it's stagnant
A day old spill on the floor
Moon, my new found sun
I've been hammering my head
only to reveal yet another veil
and let off some steam
So I'll call it a night and opt for a dream
I'll kick a can up the tallest tree
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: July 19 2011 at 08:34
That Ginsberg you posted was good, but nowhere near as good as "Auto Poesy In Nebraska".

From yours truly:

Cold hard facts
Always hit
The wrong spots,
Causing funny bones
To shiver as they
Violently twitch.

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Direct Link To This Post Posted: July 28 2011 at 14:51
As Malls Nippet

If Iw eret ot elly out hat
Iw asn ota ealp erson
Wouldy oub elievem e?
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: July 28 2011 at 15:00
lost on the lake reaching for certainty 
in blackness
a blackness like torn velvet - you reach for the oar 
the sandy bottom 
the beach
but in vain - like broken children
you learn about getting wet
jumping into unknown waters
to reach any sort of conclusion
“The Guide says there is an art to flying or rather a knack. The knack lies in learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss.”

- Douglas Adams
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: July 28 2011 at 15:07
The sensation of
Unsettled dust
Makes your skin crawl,
Like a toddler
On a cheap rug.
And yet,
You're happy,
With those tiny particles
Of nostalgic memories
Creating a dusty philm,
On your smooth skin,
And going up nasal passages,
Giving illusions,
Of recreational drugs.
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: July 28 2011 at 15:29
Glad to see people are still posting here. These are the lyrics to a kind of poppy song I wrote last year:

My Radiation


Where can I drag myself when this dream turns maniacal?
I run against the wind
and my fever crawls through my skin
My candy coated eyes are telescopes
digging stars out of zodiac envelopes
But have I flown into the dark cloud that follows you?

At the sight of my two hands, visions of ancestors surround me
They reach for me and weep
until delusions stop stalking my sleep
Moon beams walk the ocean floor
and the sun paints the ways electric days have left me stirred
But have the others heard my radiation from the earth?

Where can I drag myself when this dream turns maniacal?
I run against the wind
and my fever crawls through my skin
Lock myself inside my mind, only to find
someday I'm buried with a stone over my head
Send my ashes out to Saturn instead

Edited by EchidnasArf - July 28 2011 at 15:30
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: July 28 2011 at 18:02
So I wrote a new one.  It's completely indecipherable but that's the way I like it.  Ah ha ah ha.

The fornicational distatefulness of a Sophist

Drape your failure over me
then boggle my mind;
disguising it as brownies
full of hope.
Grope(ius) Walter instead
'cause Béla Lugosi's Dead
As dead as an Architect
of the March
Dead
Like your heart will be
when your sheep(ish) weeping
creeps up on you
flicking your genitalia
so haphazardly
You moan
I grow(n) up fast.
As you lay it on thickly
from somewhere
anywhere
you care about more than me
You got me good

I didn't buy Yu(hudi) a
Menu(hin) of vegetalia
Only fish
A snatch(et), a crotch(et)
Wait a minim... I
I wanted to put a
semi-naked you
in my future wife
Yet all I get is a special guest
It's you.
I never married.
Net met.
Yet I cared.

Beset in a bedspread like
tangle of angles; I'm lost
Defying Escher's tessellations
Defenestration would be nice
for 30 year olds, like me
stuck in a war
A dirty, sexual war
of flagellation by the hand-
held telephone.

Get out. Walk the dog.
Yoyo around your own place
and remain self-motivated
with foolish promises.

Pliny the Elder said it best: The best plan is to profit from the folly of others.

I am no longer a folly.
I just want my dear little Dolly.

Geck0 - 28 July 2011


Edited by James - July 28 2011 at 18:06
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: September 28 2011 at 16:04
the Coke to wine -ratio
was too high.

I failed
at sleep.
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